


One Good Turn Deserves Another

by nikusiatko



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: Friendship, Future Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-08 11:04:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 108,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikusiatko/pseuds/nikusiatko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel doesn’t like Broadway events where he often accompanies his best friend and boyfriend. From his previous experiences he knows that most of the people who he meets there are superior and closed mind human beings not worth his time. Everything changes when nice and friendly Blaine Anderson and his friends show him that not everybody in their business is bad. Since then Kurt has just one task – to bring Blaine out of his shell and help him conquer his demons…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

“Kurt, I promise, this one will be different. Please, you have to come with me.” Rachel sent a pleading look at her best friend. She didn’t want to miss the party but she also didn’t want to go there alone. However, Kurt was reluctant. After five years in New York, he’d been her date on countless occasions and he had enjoyed less than a quarter of them. You know, actors and actresses could be really self-centered and Kurt didn’t like to be looked down on which happened a lot amongst Rachel’s colleagues.

“Rach, Adam dragged me to a party two days ago. I still haven’t recovered from that. All those snobbish people who were acting as I’m not worth anything to them because I don’t have a Broadway background...I don’t think I can handle it tonight.”

“But this is a private party. I need to go. We’ve just started rehearsals and those guys have an advantage because they already know each other. I need to blend in. Please, please, please. Pretty, pretty please.” She pouted and Kurt rolled his eyes.

“One inappropriate comment towards me and I’m out of there.” He stated, standing up from the chair and heading to his room to find an outfit. He might not be a Broadway star...or any kind of star for that matter but he sure as hell knew how to dress himself much better than most of those closed-mind jerks Rachel and Adam had to work with.

 

When Kurt had been rejected from NYADA, he had to find another plan for his future. Drama or musical theatre programs at other schools weren’t an option for him. He wanted to be the best of the best and only NYADA could give him that. Reapplying didn’t suit him at all. They said once he wasn’t going to cut it, he had no intention of making a fool of himself again. Clearly, he wasn’t what they were looking for. He decided to go for NYU where he successfully majored in journalism and minored in business studies. Currently he was working as a freelance journalist and although sometimes it was really hard to force himself into working when there was no boss to check on him, he loved the freedom and independence that came with the position. Of course, it was nothing in comparison to the success Rachel managed to gain. Several lead roles on Broadway within four years and two Tony nominations were much better than regular columns in a few newspapers and occasional article in some magazine or online journals. But he was proud of himself. He was able to pay bills and live comfortably and he even saved some money monthly so he thought he was doing well. And then there was an idea of his own magazine he was playing with in his mind. He just didn’t tell anyone yet.

 

“Taxi or subway?” Kurt asked Rachel when he came out of his room in a perfect outfit that was surely going to make some of the guests at the party jealous.

“It’s two blocks from here. We can walk there, what do you say?”

“You owe me, Rachel Berry. And I haven’t requested your previous debts yet so you should be aware I’m going to do it soon.”

“Yeah, I know. I know. But I swear you’ll like this one.” Kurt just scoffed. The party of the most talented actor of the decade, Tony award winner with several number one hits and thousands of copies of his debut album sold was exactly what Kurt would like. Another douchebag with an ego so big that the universe was too small for it - not that he knew the guy. His presumption came from prior experiences and he was always right. They were about to go to the party where an old group of friends from high school would be having fun and acting like they were doing a big favor to those who were allowed to come. Well, Kurt Hummel didn’t give a shit. He also didn’t promise to be cheerful so Rachel would have to deal with his mood, like it or not.

“Penthouse? The guy lives in a penthouse? He is having a party in his house?!”

“Well, I told you this isn’t a formal party. It’s a friendly gathering. All the actors in the play and several staff members were invited. They’re nice, Kurt. I know you don’t like the world behind my profession but these people are different. You’ll see. Now, smile and use your Hummel charm. But not too much of it because men tend to flirt with you then and I know it makes you uncomfortable. Especially when Adam is not around and you can’t use him as an excuse.”

“Use him as an excuse? He’s my boyfriend, Rachel. He is not an excuse!”

“I know. I’m sorry. I should have probably worded it differently…”

“Probably.” Kurt murmured and waited for the elevator door to open. He didn’t have a chance to take a deep breath to prepare himself for the night when two figures ran at them.

“Rachel, honey, you came!” Two over excited men hugged her and squeezed her as if she was the only one they were waiting for.

“Nick, Jeff, let me go. You’re suffocating me.” She laughed.

“Sorry, lady. And who is your friend?” The blond one drew his attention to Kurt.

“This is Kurt. My best friend in the whole world.”

“He is gorgeous.” The brown haired one said and the blond guy nodded.

“Kurt, this is Jeff.” Blondie outstretched his hand and Kurt shook it, offering a polite smile.

“And this is Nick.” Nick gave him a half-hug and patted his shoulder. “Nice to meet you, man. Gosh, who do you work for? Jesus, the designer who has you as a model is one lucky man…or woman…”

“Rachel, you didn’t tell us you would bring someone so handsome.”

“Well, if I didn’t know you two are actually straight, I would definitely think you want to get into his pants.”

“Being straight doesn’t mean that we can’t appreciate beauty.” Jeff winked at her and grabbed her hand.

“So what designer do you work for, Kurt?” Nick asked the question that had been omitted.

“I don’t work for any designer. I am a journalist.”

“Oh my god! That’s so awesome!” Jeff jumped a little in excitement and Kurt wondered whether they were always like this or if they had taken something previously.

“What newspapers do you write for?” Nick seemed to be genuinely interested in Kurt and it was weird for him. He couldn’t recall the last time he had had a conversation with someone from the Broadway universe that had lasted more than two sentences. Except Rachel and Adam, of course, but they didn’t count.

“I am a freelance journalist. I write for several newspapers and magazines.” Kurt answered and waited for Nick’s reaction. Generally, this was the information that got him out of the conversation. Until he was the editor of the New York Times no one cared about him.

“Wow. I can barely handle one job at the time…It’s so refreshing to speak to someone who works out of the theatre setting. How does it work? Do you get topics for your articles fromthe editor or do you come up with your own ideas?” Kurt looked at Rachel, not believing someone wanted to talk to him. She just smiled.

“Rachel, I’m so glad you could make it.” A smooth voice spoke up behind them. They all turned around and Kurt knew the evening was most likely going to be ruined.

“Blaine.” Rachel said and hugged him little too tight.

“Blaine, this is Kurt.” Jeff announced with a grin. “He’s a journalist. Cool, right?”

“Nice to meet you, Kurt.” Blaine shook his hand, his features remaining soft and welcoming, and a spark in his eyes surprising Kurt.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Kurt responded, observing the guy. He wasn’t stilted. He seemed happy to see them and that was odd.

“There are drinks at the bar. We have a good selection of alcoholic liquor but if you don’t want to get wasted there are a lot of non-alcoholic beverages as well. Snacks are all over the place and there’ll be a huge delivery of pizzas in an hour so…I hope you’ll enjoy yourself.”

“Oh, don’t you worry, Blainey. We’re going to enjoy ourselves.” Nick smirked. “Now, if you excuse us, I’d like to talk to Kurt about his job. Why didn’t I become a journalist?”

“Because you aren’t able to write a one sentence note that makes sense.” Jeff remarked.

“True. Don’t you hate it when your best friend is right, too? I can’t stand how superior mine gets sometimes because of that.”

“Well, considering that in my friendship with Rachel it’s me who is always right, you should question her about it.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that, Kurt.” Rachel folded her arms and disapprovingly shook her head. “I guess you’ll be good on your own, won’t you?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Blaine, I thought we could discuss the core of the relationship between our characters, what do you say? I have some suggestion about…” Rachel’s voice got lost in the crowd and Kurt stayed glued to the spot between Nick and Jeff. This was going to be an interesting night.

 

Two hours later Kurt was still engaged in conversation with Nick and Jeff who hadn’t left his side since the beginning. They were alternating between who would bring them drinks when their glasses were empty and although Kurt would never say it out loud, he was having a great time.

“Nick, Jeff, I saw those twins you were ogling at the theatre by the bar…” Blaine appeared all of a sudden next to them and Nick with Jeff were on their feet in an instant.

“Sorry, Kurt. We gotta go. See you later.” And they were gone.

“Are you having fun?” Blaine sat down and once again it amused Kurt with how nice he was being.

“Yeah, thanks. It’s a great party.”

“Thank you.” Blaine smiled shyly. “I don’t like parties. I mean…there are so many of them every month and sometimes it is hard to get along with people there. I like throwing a party for friends though. You’re lucky you don’t have to attend most of them.”

“I wouldn’t say so. With two members of the Broadway community in my life I have to go to the most of them…”

“That sucks.” Blaine stated and Kurt snickered.

“Yes, it does.”

“So, Kurt. Tell me about your worst experience from those parties. I bet you won’t beat mine…” Blaine nudged him teasingly and the two of them spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing about everything and nothing until Rachel came and dragged Kurt home.

“Did you get his number?” Blaine was pulled out of his thoughts by his loving but annoying friends.

“What?”

“Did you ask for his number?” Jeff repeated.

“No.”

“Why the hell not?! He is perfect! He is out of our business, he is charming and intelligent, and he is also beautiful. What is wrong with you?!”

“Nick, you know I’m not looking for anybody right now. First of all, my track record is really bad when it comes to relationships and I need a break. Not to mention I don’t even know if he is gay or if he is with someone. The guy like him can’t be single.”

“All we have to do is ask Rachel.” Jeff suggested.

“Don’t you dare, or I’m going to kill you. If I’m lucky enough, he’ll come to the next party and I at least will have someone to talk to. Ruin it for me and we are no longer friends.” Blaine threatened them and left.

“Kurt made an impression on our ice queen…” Nick stated with a big smile on his face.

“Yes, he did. We just have to get the ice queen’s head out of his ass.”

“Challenge accepted.”

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“What if Kurt has a boyfriend?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Blaine Anderson was a nice person. He didn’t like hypocrisy and superciliousness from the bottom of his heart but sometimes it looked like there was nothing else in his world anymore. Even as a kid, Blaine was a boy who always came to help or stood up for others. He was polite, friendly and one of his strongest features was faith in people. Although people wouldn’t be surprised if he had lost this ability after years filled with disappointment caused by others, he still believed there was something good in everybody.

 

Blaine came from money. His family was well off due to having a successful family business and Blaine never in his life had to worry about not being able to afford something. He didn’t like being reminded that it was his parents’ money and influence that got him where he was now. Even though he couldn’t deny that his excellent education wouldn’t have been possible if the financial situation of his parents hadn’t been secure, but his talent and fierce need to pursue things had nothing to do with how much money he or his family had.

 

Blaine moved to New York City four years ago and made his debut on a Broadway stage almost immediately. He jumped into a world he hadn’t been prepared for. He landed himself in an extremely competitive environment and being the kind soul he was made things complicated. He’d learnt the hard way not to make friends with “theatre people” as he liked to call them. It was a long journey to find out that people either didn’t care about him or just tried to use him. He had never given up hope that the people who had hurt him once would have something positive in their hearts, but he needed to protect himself so he decided not to befriend anyone who was work related. His only friends were the ones that had come with him to New York after his high school graduation.

 

Blaine was really happy that he finally got a chance to work with his friends in a production that had a great potential to be very successful. He was also glad that Rachel Berry was a part of the show because, thanks to her, he might make a new friend. He was certain that Kurt would make exceptional friend material since the guy could handle Rachel Berry as his best friend and he was out of theatre business; what he decided was the killer combination.

 

Blaine usually didn’t regret anything. He tried to learn a lesson from the situation and move on. But as he was lying in his bed after the party where he met Kurt, for the first time in years he regretted something. He definitely should have asked Kurt for his number…

xxxxxxxxx

Kurt Hummel was a strong person. He disliked hatred and human stupidity from the bottom of his heart but sometimes it looked like there was nothing else in his world anymore. Even as a kid, Kurt was a boy who always kept his mind open and didn’t fear to air his opinions. He was brave, reliable and one of his strongest features was honesty. Although one could tell he would have lost this habit after years full of problems that were caused by his ability to speak his mind, he still refused to go with the crowd.

 

Kurt Hummel loved his father more than anything in the world. After his mother’s death when he was only eight, there had been just the two of them for so long that they had created a relationship which might be considered unhealthy by some. Kurt didn’t care what people thought about his relationship with his father. So what if they were a little overprotective of each other? His father was a man who taught him everything that was important in life. His father was his biggest supporter and greatest critic and even though Kurt didn’t believe in god he was highly grateful to whatever power that he has his father.

 

Kurt Hummel had lived in New York City since he left Ohio after his high school graduation. He had an amazing four years at college; he made lots of friends and finally became a part of a community where no one judged anyone. Except for the time when he had to attend a “higher class” events, as he liked to call them, being a great friend and boyfriend he was, he more than less found himself in situations he would certainly avoid if it was his choice. But helping his best friend and the person he loves was more important than his own contentment and he’d learnt how to survive in a world that clearly wasn’t made for him.

 

Kurt liked his life despite it not being what he had dreamt of as a teenager. He had a good job, a bunch of close friends and a boyfriend he’d been in a committed relationship with for several years now. His father’s health was steady and he was happy that the empty place his mother had left wasn’t empty anymore because there was Carol – his father’s second wife – now. With Carol they had gotten Finn – for his father a son who could relate the most of the “manly” things that Kurt wasn’t able to and for Kurt a brother who had his back no matter what. There was nothing missing in his life.

 

Kurt usually didn’t regret anything. He tried to learn a lesson from the situation and move on. But as he woke up in his bed the morning after the party where he had met Blaine, for the first time in years he regretted something. He definitely shouldn’t have gone to the party because the hazel eyes that haunted him in his sleep most definitely didn’t belong to his boyfriend...

xxxxxxxxx

Rachel didn’t know what possessed Kurt to wake up in the middle of the night and clean the apartment or sit behind his computer until the early morning for the fifth night in the row. He tried to be quiet and not to disturb her sleep, but he failed miserably. The worst thing was that he refused to talk to her, claiming that he couldn’t sleep because he was drinking lot of coffee lately and it was taking its toll on him.

 

Of course, Rachel was sure it was the biggest load of bullshit she had ever heard. Kurt had been drinking gallons of coffee ever since he was fifteen. He may as well have coffee instead of blood in his veins and it wouldn’t influence his ability to sleep. Rachel decided to train her patience with him but when she was awakened by a loud noise that echoed in the apartment, she exploded.

 

“Kurt! Why the hell are you doing cooking at three in the morning?” She stormed into the kitchen and saw him picking up a big pan that had just had a collision with the tile floor – hence the noise that nearly evoked her heart attack.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry, Rachel. I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to make some muffins for you to take to work.”

“You DO NOT need a pan for muffins! Fuck, I don’t need any muffins to take to work! All I need is to finally get a good night’s sleep for Christ’s sake!” Kurt looked guilty. He dipped his head and bit his lower lip. A sign there was something bothering him and he was considering whether to say it or not. Rachel sat on a chair with a deep sigh.

“Kurt,” she started softly. “You’ve been acting weird for almost a week now. What’s going on? I can tell you’re exhausted but you keep staying up all night…”

“I’m having strange dreams…” Kurt admitted.

“Like nightmares?”

“No…not nightmares in a scary way.”

“Then what kind of dreams do you have?” Kurt reminded silent.

“Kurt?”

“Have you ever had sex dream about someone you weren’t dating at the time?” It took a while for Rachel to catch up with what Kurt was saying. Then she started to laugh.

“Seriously Kurt? You are acting all crazy because you had a dream about someone else than Adam?”

“Why are you laughing? I feel like I’m cheating on him in my dreams!” Rachel didn’t understand why her friend was so worked up about it. She thought it was a common thing to sometimes dream about a hot stranger. Unless…

“You know the guy…” She stated. “Who do you dream about, Kurt?” She teased him, making him angry.

“It’s not funny, Rachel! When it happened for the first time, I ignored it. I mean, sometimes another guy occurs in your dreams, right?”

“Right.” She nodded.

“But fifth time in a row?! Every single night since we…” Kurt abruptly stopped. “You know what Rachel, doesn’t matter. I think I’ll take some Ambien and go to bed…”

“Since we what? Come on, Kurt. You’ve already got me out of the bed in the middle of the night. I deserve some answers.”

“Since we were at the party…” Kurt murmured. A huge grin spread on her face.

“Who do you dream about, Kurt? There were a lot of sexy guys there.”

“Rachel!” Kurt hissed. “It’s none of your business.”

“Was it Jeff or Nick? You were talking with them for a long time…”

“No, it wasn’t Jeff or Nick.”

“Hmmm….who else…Shit! It was Blaine, wasn’t it?” A red blush that was suddenly visible on Kurt’s cheeks was enough indication for Rachel to know she was right.

“I definitely want to know more about those dreams. What were you doing? Was he…”

“Rachel!” Kurt screamed with a horrified expression.

“What? It’s not like I am invading your actual sex life. I mean, until you and Adam keep it down, I don’t have a clue.”

“We always keep it down.”

“Yeah, keep saying that to yourself…”

“What?!”

“Nothing. I don’t know anything; I was just messing with you. Look… Just because you had some dreams about Blaine doesn’t mean you’re cheating on your boyfriend. Stop freaking out and enjoy them. I’m sure they’ll be gone once you and Adam release all the tension that must be in you because you haven’t had a sleepover in a month.” She pointed.

“It’s a little disturbing that you know how long I haven’t slept with my boyfriend…”

“Come on, Kurt. It’s not so hard to realize that since you’re only meeting him during the day for a lunch in the city and then there are short phone calls at night when he goes home from work. I’m sure nothing happened those two nights when you went to a party because he just dropped you here after and went home.”

“Am I a bad boyfriend, Rachel?”

“No. Of course not. Just because you have dreams about…”

“No, I don’t mean that…It’s just that Adam is so focused on his work that every now and then I feel like I’m a burden…”

“What?! Did he say something?”

“No, he didn’t…I told him million times that he can come to sleep here after work or that I can wait for him in his apartment but lately he says that he doesn’t want to waste my day because when we spend the night together then we end up doing nothing the whole day until he has to go to work and I have to write in the evenings.”

“Is that true though?”

“Yeah. I mean, we were so happy to be together that we forgot about everything…but it’s not like that happened every day of the week. We were fine until he was turned down for the lead in Hamlet. He threw himself into classes he doesn’t really even need to increase his chances to get a lead in the next production he will try for. I can see how frustrated he is, Rachel. He wants a lead so bad…”

“Well, everybody does. And it’s been years since he is on Broadway…He is an amazing actor. He just fits more into supporting roles…”

“We don’t even have his days off now because he signed for evening pottery class two days a week. A pottery class! How often could he possibly use it on a stage?”

“Maybe you should talk…” Rachel suggested but the glare she got from him indicated it was a lame advice.

“Do you think I haven’t tried? You know how he is. Always smiley and pretending that everything in the garden is rosy…”

“Then you should do it the Rachel Berry way.”

“And that would be?”

“Make a scene. Let your frustration out.”

“You know we don’t fight…” Kurt reminded her. He was really proud that he and Adam had a mature relationship without any additional drama.

“Maybe that’s the problem, Kurt. Maybe you should yell and scream at each other once in a while when one of you are unhappy – in this case you - or unreasonable in this case him. I’m going to sleep now. Take an Ambien.”

xxxxxxxxx 

Kurt was ecstatic. He managed to persuade Adam to blow off his pottery class on his day off and come to see Kurt after his morning – and totally unnecessary – class of taekwondo. When he entered the apartment, Kurt immediately jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly; breathing in his scent he had missed so much. Kurt wasn’t one for public displays of affection. They usually just held hands or kissed each other’s cheeks when outside. After a month, Kurt needed his dosage of hugs, kisses and cuddles. It wasn’t about sex. Kurt lacked closeness in general.

“Finally.” He whispered and closed his eyes, taking in everything that was Adam. When his boyfriend wanted to ease the embrace, Kurt brought him even closer.

“Kurt.” Adam chuckled. “What’s wrong?”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” Adam breathed. “I’m sorry. I know it’s kind of hard on us right now but it’ll get better. I promise.”

“When?” Kurt dared to ask.

“I don’t know but I promise it will.” Adam made an attempt to get away from Kurt’s suffocating arms but Kurt wasn’t having any of it.

“Come on, Kurt. I want to kiss you.” The kiss was beyond perfect and Kurt knew tonight it wouldn’t be Blaine invading his dreams.

“Downton Abbey marathon?” Adam proposed when the need for oxygen parted them and Kurt eagerly nodded. They snuggled up on the sofa with Kurt resting his head on Adam’s shoulder.

“The show ends in four weeks…”

“Hmmm…” Kurt hummed.

“I don’t have another job offer. I thought I would get Hamlet but they didn’t want me…”

“Adam, you’ve been working your ass off since you left NYADA four years ago. You deserve a few weeks off the stage.”

“But I’m yet to get a lead…”

“By exhausting yourself you are not going to get anything. I mean, you studied at one of the most prestigious drama school in the country. You don’t have to take classes that occupy all your free time…”

“I feel like a failure.” Kurt raised his head and looked him in the eyes.

“You are not! You are amazing. Stop underestimating yourself. And stop talking badly about my boyfriend!” Kurt said firmly with a hint of smile.

“There will be a charity event on Thursday next week. We are performing a number. Will you come to see me?” Adam looked way too hopeful. Kurt had his suspicions that seeing him wasn’t the only reason Adam wanted him to go.

“What about after party?”

“You would make me the happiest person in the whole world if you decided to join me…”

“I thought I was making you the happiest person in the whole world nevertheless.”

“You are. Don’t ever doubt that…”

“So why do we have to go to the after party?”

“There are rumors about a new original play that has invitation only auditions and the producers as well as the director should be there. I’d like to meet them. The rehearsals are supposed to start after our show ends so it’s really convenient.”

“I’ll go under one condition.”

“I’m all ears.”

“In case you don’t get into that production, you will take two weeks off and we’ll go to Essex to see your family. You can cruise the auditions when we come back.”

“Deal!” Adam smiled broadly and kissed him, the act that made them forget about Downton Abbey for the next few hours.

 xxxxxxxxx

“You should have taken Rachel with you.” Kurt noted as soon as they arrived to the after party.

“She has a date tonight and you promised to go with me.”

“You made a promise, too.”

“I know. I swear I’m going to keep it, okay?”

“Oka…”

“Kurt? Kurt!” Someone screamed and, surprised, Kurt and Adam turned around.

“I told you it’s him!” Nick grinned and hugged Kurt. “It’s so good to see you again, man.”

“Hey, let him be. You’re not the only one who wants to greet him.” Jeff shoved Nick away and put his arms around Kurt’s shoulders.

“How are you? Oh, I’m sorry. Hello, I’m Jeff and this is Nick.”

“Nick, Jeff, this is Adam. My boyfriend.” The smiles on Nick’s and Jeff’s faces faded a little but they recovered pretty quickly.

“Nice to meet you guys. I heard a lot about you.” Adam joined the conversation politely.

“I hope just the good things…”

“Of course. You made quite an impression on Kurt. He thinks you and your friends are the nicest people in this theatre hell hole of jerks.”

“Oh, thanks, Kurt.”

“Well, if you excuse me I need to go to see the lady over there.” Adam motioned towards the woman near a buffet table.

“She’s a producer?” Kurt asked disbelievingly.

“Yes.” Adam said sheepishly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you wouldn’t have come with me, would you?”

“No.”

“Guys, would you mind keeping Kurt busy?”

“You can count on us. Come on, Kurt. Blaine would be pissed with himself if he didn’t see you.” Kurt threw Adam a disapproving look and Adam knew there would be a lot of apologizing needed later but right now he had to talk to the woman. He kissed Kurt’s cheek and whispered he loved him before he disappeared in the crowd.

“I can’t believe he would do that to me…”

“So you don’t like her, huh?” Nick looked at him compassionately.

“You could say that…”

“She is kind of a bitch.” Jeff noted and dragged him in the opposite direction of his betraying boyfriend. They ran into Blaine who was about to leave near the entrance.

“Hey. You can’t go home. Look who we found!”

“Kurt, oh my god, it’s great to see you again.” Blaine said with a big smile and spark in his eyes. Kurt couldn’t help but let his stomach do flips and his heart beat faster as Blaine briefly hugged him and pictures from his dreams flooded his mind. No matter how much he was pissed off with Adam he was aware that if he wanted to get some sleep in the following nights he would have to have sex with his boyfriend tonight.  


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Blaine was nervous. It’d been a long time since someone outside of his group of friends came to his apartment just to hang out. What had seemed like a great idea yesterday, didn’t appeal as such a good thing today. Why in his right mind would he have done this? How was he supposed to spend the whole evening with Kurt, of all people? It was one thing to keep light conversation at the party and completely different doing it in private. Kurt would never become his friend. Not after Blaine was more than likely going to screw everything up.

_You should have prepared conversational topics! Jesus, why do I want to impress him so much?_ Blaine’s mind had been going into overdrive for almost two hours now. _Because you need someone new in your life and he is perfect. It’s okay to be freaking out. It’s your first chance to make a friend in years. It’ll be okay,_ he justified to himself. He took a deep breath to slow his heart beat down. It would have helped if his phone hadn’t started ringing. _He is cancelling. Oh my god! I managed to scare him off before he even got here._

“Hello?”

“Blainey! Is Kurt there yet?”

“Nick?” Blaine needed to ask. Of course, he knew it was Nick. He should have known it the moment the phone had rang because Nick had his own ringtone. But Blaine wasn’t functioning properly.

“Sure. Who else would it be? Don’t you tell me that you have set MY ringtone to someone else?”

“No. I didn’t. You’re the only person who I would willingly let my phone play like a virgin for.”

“You still hate that song.” Nick laughed.

“Two more months, Nick. Two more months and I’m out of that stupid bet!”

“You will be so used to that song that you won’t want to change it, you’ll see.”

“Not going to happen.” Blaine assured him.

“So, Kurt?”

“He’s not here yet…”

“Call us in the middle of your movie night, okay? We would definitely join you if we weren’t busy with getting laid tonight.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, man. Love you. Say hello to Kurt.”

“Was it the only reason you called?”

“Yes.”

“What are you and Jeffrey up to, Nicholas?”

“Nothing. I swear. Just…”

“What?”

“Don’t fall in love with him, okay? He isn’t available…Although he is perfect for you. Such a shame really…”

“Nick, I invited him over to hang out because it’s nice to have someone outside of the theatre community around. I’m not looking for a boyfriend. Don’t worry. I’m not going to have my heart broken over a taken guy. Okay?”

“Okay. Take care Blaine.”

“Enjoy your hook up.”

“Oh, I will.” Blaine chuckled at his friend’s antics and disconnected the call. He was about to check on his wine collection for the thousandth time that evening when there was a buzz at the door. He picked up his home phone, highly aware that the time had come.

“Mr. Anderson. Mr. Hummel is here to see you.”

“Thank you, Thomas. Please, send him up.”

Thirty-six seconds later, the elevator door opened and Kurt walked in.

“Hi.” He said with a smile and Blaine’s fears disappeared immediately.

“Welcome.”

“Thanks…uhm…here.” Kurt handed him a bottle of wine. “I wasn’t sure if you like red or white wine better so I brought rose.” He said shyly.

“Kurt, you didn’t have to worry. I have a vinotéque full of all kinds of wine.”

“Well, I couldn’t come here empty handed.” Kurt stated and his eyes were challenging Blaine to try and say a word.

“Yes, you could.” Blaine dared to object and before Kurt had a chance to form a remark, Blaine beat him to it. “What do you have in the bowl?”

“Our dinner?”

“Are you kidding me?” Blaine’s eyebrows went up, amusement written all over his face. Kurt took a step back, not sure what he was supposed to do.

“You said you only eat in restaurants or you order take out. I thought you would like to have a homemade meal for a change?” Kurt let his sentence linger in the air as a question.

“You are unbelievable, you know that?”

“Am I?”

“Kurt, you’re my guest. I was ready to take care of everything – drink, food, snacks…”

“It’s just a bottle of wine and chicken salad…”

“Okay. Come in. There is no point in arguing now, is there? I should have told you to bring just yourself.” Blaine took a bowl from his hand and led them further into the apartment.

“I wouldn’t have…” Kurt noted, making Blaine stop in his tracks and turn around to face him again.

“Wouldn’t have what?”.

“I wouldn’t have come without anything to eat or drink…”

“Even though I would have told you not to bring anything?”

“What if it was the other way around? Would you come to hang out with me at my apartment without bringing anything with you?” Kurt Hummel – 1, Blaine Anderson – 0.

 

They made themselves comfortable on Blaine’s huge sofa. Blaine poured the wine Kurt had brought and they put the first Disney movie that caught their eyes in, although if you would ask Kurt the next day what it was he wouldn’t be able to tell you. The movie went forgotten as they talked for hours.

“I can’t believe you own every single Disney movie known to man. Alongside the whole Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings collections.” Kurt teased Blaine when he opened the second bottle of wine carefully chosen from his vinotéque and turned off the TV that wasn’t holding their interest anyway.

“Hey! Don’t act like you don’t have a Harry Potter collection!”

“Yes, of course I do. At home. In my old room. I didn’t take it with me when I moved out because it belongs to my childhood. I admit, I brought my amazing collection of musicals and I might or might not have thrown a few Disney movies in there as well but seriously Blaine? You have a whole bookcase full of children’s movies.”

“I have my collection at home as well…” Blaine murmured.

“What?!”

“In my old room, at home. There is the exact same bookcase…”

“You bought DVD’s you already have?”

“No. It was always here. I mean, I always got or bought two copies of any movie I was interested in. So I could have it at home and here as well.”

“I don’t understand.” Kurt looked at his glass, thinking maybe he should stop drinking.

“This is my home.  Partially.”

“Yeah, you live here.”

“How do you think I can afford a penthouse?”

“I don’t know. You probably earn a lot of money from your album sales…and you are very successful on Broadway so…” Kurt shrugged his shoulders and Blaine laughed then for a long time and Kurt was confused.

“Kurt, I earn a lot of money from my music but definitely not enough to buy a penthouse.”

“No, but you can afford to rent it, right? For Christ sake Blaine, you live here!”

“I don’t own it nor rent it. It belongs to my father’s company. We used to spend every school holiday here so my dad could do his business properly. Hence the movie collection. So I wouldn’t get bored here.”

“Didn’t you say you were from Ohio?”

“Yes. I am. My mom grew up in Ohio and she loved it there – god only knows why. She didn’t want to raise her kids in a big city so we lived in Westerville but went for holiday here. My dad didn’t like being apart from family for too long…He flew back and forth every other week so he wouldn’t miss on us growing up. When I finished high school, he decided to retire. My cousin became CEO of the company but my father is still owner of about seventy percent of its shares. We have unlimited access to this apartment. That’s why I’m here. Nick and Jeff used to live here as well but then they found out it’s more of disadvantage than an advantage and moved out.” Blaine explained his eyes fixed on the floor. He had never told this to anyone. Everyone he had ever met just assumed that he was a lucky rich kid whose parents took care of him – not that it wasn’t true but merely the thought that Kurt considered him capable enough to buy this because of his success was thrilling.

“Wow…I…” Kurt was speechless. He was mad at himself that he had made fun of Blaine when clearly Blaine needed movies so he could survive here alone and make it feel more like home.

“I don’t want you to think that I’m some spoiled brat who can’t appreciate things…” Blaine whispered.

“I don’t think you are a spoiled brat, Blaine. I think you’re a really nice and friendly person. I gotta tell you, I don’t like Broadway people but you and your friends are so different…”

“Why don’t you like them?” Blaine asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Rachel made a debut on Broadway in her freshman year in NYADA. There were lots of opening nights and charity events and awards and all those after parties and her agent told her to attend them. It was a way to gain contacts and…you know how it works. She didn’t have a boyfriend and her NYADA friends – if you even can call them friends – were ready to stab her in the back anytime so I was the only one to accompany her. I’m not saying that all of those nights I spent with her or Adam at a party I didn’t enjoy myself. There were some really good events but unfortunately most of them were disasters. When people found out I wasn’t an aspiring Broadway wannabe and that I studied journalism at NYU they were conceited and their mock politeness just got on my nerves…” They stayed silent for a while. Blaine knew what Kurt was talking about. It took him two years to realize how people in the industry could be and he didn’t make an attempt to be more than mock polite with anybody new until Kurt appeared.

“What did Violet do to you? Jeff said you were annoyed when your boyfriend went to talk to her yesterday.”

“Do you like her?” Kurt questioned him.

“No, why?”

“I just needed to know if it’s safe to tell you the original story or if I should edit it a little.”

“Original, please. I don’t like the woman at all. She is a stuck-up bitch.” Blaine emptied his glass and poured some more wine as he needed it if they were going to get into discussion about her.

“Well, it was after Rachel’s first year on Broadway, almost four years ago…We went to a party, I don’t remember what the occasion was but it was really big party with many people there and too much glitter all around. Violet came to Rachel and introduced herself. She started to talk to her and praised her talent. Then she looked at me and with a sweet voice asked me: _Oh, my dear, did I see you in the production with Rachel?_ ” Kurt’s imitation of the woman was so perfect that Blaine burst into laughter.

“I said, very sweetly might I add, _No, you didn’t. I’m not in any Broadway play._ ” Blaine leaned closer to Kurt, listening intently to him.

“ _Oh, don’t give up hope. You are so young. Not every NYADA student gets his chance in his student’s years. Patience is a virtue._ ” Kurt wiggled and raised his glass, then slowly sipped wine and fluttered his eyelashes, causing another laughter fit on Blaine’s side.

“So I told her that indeed, I am a student but at NYU and that I am aiming to become a successful journalist. She didn’t take it well. You should have seen how her demeanor changed. She turned to Rachel and asked her if she was sure about her choice of friends and that people like me are most likely just using someone famous to get their personal stuff into tabloids. She went on and on about how I was going to use her and how one day – _if you are not careful, darling_ – she would end up with an uncensored biography of her personal life full of crap written by me.”

“Oh my god! Did you say something to her?”

“Yes. I told her very politely that I don’t have to resort to selling information about my friends to tabloids and that I feel sorry for her because her personality probably prevents decent people from being around her and that’s most likely how SHE ended up with an uncensored biography of her personal life full of crap that was written by someone she considered friend.”

“You didn’t!” Blaine shouted, totally thunderstruck.

“Oh yes, yes, I did. Since then, she sends me dirty looks whenever we see each other. Rachel hasn’t got any parts in any shows she’s produced.”

“She can be vengeful…So you didn’t want your boyfriend to work for her? That was why you were mad yesterday?”

“No. Not at all. I don’t mind him going for a role in something she produces. It’s part of his job. I was mad because he knows how I don’t like going to those parties because there is rarely someone to talk to on a standard level and I usually just stay next to him, looking pretty and smiling while he is joined in a conversation with whoever he meets there. If I had known he needed to talk to her; I wouldn’t have gone with him. He dragged me there fully aware that I would have to spend some time alone. If you guys hadn’t been there, I would have just left the moment I found out.”

“I’m glad we could help.” Blaine smiled at him.

“Why don’t you like her?”

“She told me that being gay is nothing new in theatre community and that I should come up with something more interesting to attract attention. I tried to explain that it’s not…It doesn’t matter.” Kurt felt uneasy after Blaine’s last statement. There was something more he wasn’t willing to share but Kurt wasn’t going to call him out on that. After all it was only the third time he had spoken to the guy. They were acquaintances. Kurt hoped they were on their way to becoming more but right now he could hardly say they were close enough to talk about something that made them uncomfortable. Kurt drank the rest of his wine and Blaine poured him some more straight away.

“Wait. We need to eat something.” Kurt said and stood up, wobbling a little.

“We have snacks.”

“It’s time for dinner if we don’t want to get totally wasted.”

“Okay…where are you going?” Blaine whined. He liked Kurt sitting next to him. He didn’t feel alone when Kurt was there right beside him.

“I’ll bring the salad. Can we eat on your terrace? I think the fresh air will do us good.”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Wait for me there, ok?”

“No! I’ll go get the salad, you’re my guest.”

“Jesus, Blaine. Just go outside!” Kurt ordered in a firm voice, making Blaine reconsider whether it was wise to argue with him. It wasn’t, Blaine decided, opening the big glass doors and stepping into a chilly early spring evening. He came to a banister, looking down at the amazing view of the central park. The view that had a calming effect on him. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath, pleading his heart to stop beating so fast. He remembered Nick’s word from earlier. Easier said than done. While he knew falling for Kurt would be easy, he was also aware it would be utterly stupid. He couldn’t afford being hopelessly in love with someone who could never love him back because he didn’t have time to be heartbroken. There were so many things he was supposed to do in the next few months. Recording of a new album, giving his best performance in the theatre, helping with a non-profit organization that helped retain music programs at schools…Work, work and then some more work. He loved it but sometimes he wished he could go out like Nick and Jeff and lose it for a night. The saddest part of it all was that he was the only one keeping himself from fulfilling his wishes of nights filled with laughter and fun in the city. Everything because he was scared. He let his fears dictate how to live his life and in the end he was sheltered in a big, two story, and four bedroom penthouse with a great view of New Your City which he didn’t have someone to share with. He turned his head to the left and saw Kurt behind the kitchen window. He was dancing around the room, roaming through cupboards, probably in an attempt to find some plates to serve the salad on. Blaine had to admit it was an even better view than the one of the city. His mind went to a place that wasn’t safe – imagining how it would be if there was someone who would spend their evenings here, who would maybe cook dinner or tease Blaine to no end for always, ordering their meal…Someone like Kurt. Or Kurt himself. The thought brought Blaine back to earth. Yeah, they needed to eat something and sober a little. Blaine laid his eyes on the park again. A single tear found its way down his cheek without him even realizing it. Another followed closely behind.

“Are you okay?” A soft voice accompanied with a gentle hand on his shoulder startled Blaine.

“Yeah, yeah.” Blaine swiftly wiped his tears and offered what he hoped would be a bright smile. “It’s a little windy and my eyes are really sensitive…”

“Would you prefer eating inside?” Kurt asked and reached out for the plates he’d placed on the table previously.

“No. Let me bring blankets. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Kurt agreed with a nod, once again suspecting there was something more behind Blaine’s words and actions but still too afraid to bring the topic up. He was enjoying the view waiting for Blaine to come back when his phone rang.

“Hi baby.” He answered the call with too much enthusiasm and he prayed Adam wouldn’t find out he was slightly intoxicated.

“Hi darling. I just left theatre and I thought I could stop by?”

“Oh…I’m sorry but I’m not home yet.”

“Well, you must be having a great time at Blaine’s then.”

“Yeah. We are about to eat chicken salad I brought. You can go to my apartment and wait for me. I’ll finish my meal and I’m on my way…”

“No. I’ll go home. I don’t want to cut your night short. See you tomorrow for lunch, okay?”

“Are you sure? Because I can leave…”

“No. Stay. Had I known you were still there I wouldn’t have called you. Have fun. Love you.”

“Love you too…” Kurt put his phone on the table and saw Blaine standing inside by the door with blankets in his hands, his back facing him.

“What are you doing there?” Kurt shouted so Blaine could hear him. Blaine spun to face him and came outside.

“You were on the phone…”

“It was just Adam. He wanted to stop by at mine.”

“Oh…Do you still have time to eat dinner?”

“Sure. He decided to go home. I’m all yours until you kick me out.” Kurt could have sworn Blaine’s eyes shined as he was looking at him. Blaine had beautiful eyes. Kurt liked looking into them. He was playing with fire. He somehow managed to keep Blaine out of his dreams up until now but staring intently into his eyes would surely throw him back into his deliberate insomnia. He couldn’t bring himself to care though.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you sure it's safe to open another bottle?" Kurt asked Blaine curiously. He felt a little dizzy, warm and giggly but everything was okay if he was aware of that. It meant he had some restraint to stop him making a fool of himself. With more alcohol he couldn't guarantee such a thing.

"We ate, we had some fresh air. I think we'll be okay. We've practically sobered up by now." Blaine answered as he was pouring wine into their glasses.

"Well, I don't know about you but I can't say I'm sober."

"Neither are you drunk." Blaine won this one. Kurt could give him that. He took a glass and put it to his mouth reluctantly.

"I don't get to do this often. I don't want this evening to end…You don't have to drink more. You can go to your boyfriend. I won't keep you…"

"You are so strange…" Kurt announced, looking at Blaine intensively as if he was trying to read his mind or see through to his soul. Blaine squirmed under his gaze and broke off the eye contact.

"You can go. You don't have to be here…" Blaine said huffily.

"I know. Do you want me to leave?"

"Do you want to stay?"

"My question first. Then I'll answer yours." Kurt was watching Blaine with amazement. He had no idea what caused Blaine to put up his walls all of a sudden.

"No." Blaine tore his eyes off the carpet and bored them into Kurt's again.

"Yes." Kurt gave his answer without any trace of doubts. He intended to stay as long as Blaine would be willing to have him. He had fun, and the small pieces of Blaine's strange behavior now and then made him want to find out more about the man. Needless to say, Kurt was fascinated by him. There were so many unanswered questions, so many secrets Blaine was holding that Kurt couldn't stay away from him. Yes, he was curious and his first instinct was to solve the mystery but above all of that was the urge to erase occasional sadness from Blaine's beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry." Blaine spoke softly after a while.

"No need to be sorry…" The silence fell on them once more.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt gathered the courage and put his hand on Blaine's knee. "You don't have to tell me…I don't mean to pry but…"

"But?"

"Why are you hiding?"

"What?!"

"Nick and Jeff thanked me when I accepted your offer to hang out. They told me you need it and that you keep yourself locked here…Why?"

"So you came out of pity?" Blaine blurted angrily.

"No." The softness of Kurt's voice astonished Blaine. He was being rude and Kurt was letting him be. "I came because I thought it would be fun. And for the record, if I had wanted to be with my boyfriend tonight, I would have left. I have my own mind and I can make my own decision. You don't have to be reserved, Blaine. The whole conversation with Nick and Jeff was after I agreed to come."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, maybe it would be better if I went home…Clearly I upset you and that wasn't my intention." Kurt was about to stand up from the sofa they were sitting on when a pleading voice stopped him.

"Don't go. Please, don't go yet…"

"What do you want to do then? Maybe we could watch a movie like we intended."

"Sure." Blaine nodded with a smile and soon there was a movie that kept them from talking about the apparent tension between them. Bruce was just reciting that _Fish are friends, not food_ on the big screen when Blaine spoke.

"I have a reason, you know…" Kurt turned his head to the left to look at him, giving Blaine his full attention. "There is a lot in my life that makes me hide in here."

"Does hiding make you happy?"

"No…but it keeps me safe." Kurt nodded and fixed his eyes on the TV again. He could feel Blaine observing him but he didn't say a word.

"Don't you have any questions? Don't you want to know details?"

"Yeah, I do." Kurt confirmed. "But it's not my place to ask them. It's up to you to tell me. I won't force you to step out of your comfort zone."

"Have you ever been judged? Have you ever been in the situations where rumors about you were more believable for others than the actual truth?" Blaine wondered and Kurt's snort at his questions immediately alarmed him. Was Kurt judging him, too?

"Blaine, I grew up in Ohio. I didn't hesitate to tell people what I thought of them and I was raised to be proud of who I am so I wasn't hiding in the closet during high school. Being the only openly gay kid amongst a bunch of homophobes with my ability to make a witty remark on the spot in the equation, you can imagine I have been judged and bullied since I remember."

"I wasn't. I attended private schools where everybody knew me and liked me. I always thought that if you were nice to people, they'd be nice to you. The concept didn't work here. I came here and started at NYADA but I got the first Broadway role too soon. I didn't have a chance to make friends before there was jealousy and rumors. Other students believed that everything I accomplished was because of my parent's money. It hurt. I wasn't used to not being liked. It was really difficult to catch up with school and theatre but it was doable. I just didn't feel good there so I dropped out claiming it was impossible to handle. I tried to fit in with my colleagues and people from theater in general. I ended up hurt over and over again because all they wanted was to use me for their own benefit and I didn't know how to deal with it so I stopped making new friends…When my album came out, things got even more serious. I was doing a lot of press stuff, people started to recognize me and it was hard to walk down the street without being stopped by someone who asked for an autograph. It didn't bother me but it got out of hand as time went on and on a regular basis I went out for lunch or coffee and spent at least one hour of my time signing things. I was cornered a few times. The last one was almost two years ago and if Nick and Jeff hadn't been there, I would have had a panic attack. Since then, I don't go out unless I have to. I eat only in expensive restaurants because I feel safe there. I travel by taxi. My social life has reduced to work related events and private friendly gatherings…"

"Blaine…I'm so sorry."

"You know, money was never a big problem. It was never a reason not to like somebody. I was surrounded by people who had money my whole life but we were all on the same page and we never boasted about it. I might be spoiled but I'm not a bad person. I got a lead on Broadway two months after I started school because I killed it at the audition. I got my record deal because I was a good singer and composer. It had nothing to do with my parents' money! But people were quick to judge. I don't know why. I don't believe people are bad by nature. There is something good in everybody. I just didn't have a chance to find it in them before I was crushed. I needed to step away from everything…"

"So are you planning to hide forever?"

"No. I have a contract for one more album and then I'll only do Broadway. It's less complicated and fans aren't so intense there…I'm still not fond of the idea of making friends in the theater though. I probably would have to go with those I already have for the rest of my life…" Blaine looked so young. It was unbelievable how someone so full of positive energy on the outside could be so drawn down inside. Kurt could grasp the disappointment Blaine was feeling. He'd been there. He had had to learn how to live in the world where people were selfish and full of prejudice but he'd been learning since he'd entered the school grounds for the first time at the age of three. Blaine had been living in a bubble and experienced his first collision with reality four years ago. Kurt had an edge over him thanks to years of tormenting. Kurt's life also got better in New York. Blaine didn't have such luck.

"What I'm about to say will be strange for you, especially when it's coming from me but maybe you should give theatre people a second chance." Blaine raised his eyebrows and Kurt quickly continued before he could object.

"Look, I've been through a lot in my life. I don't think there is something good in everybody. But despite my not very warm attitude towards Broadway society, you and your friends showed me that there are a few people who are nice and friendly. I'm glad you did. Rachel isn't bad. Let her in and she will surprise you. She is a bit of a diva, but she has a good heart. Adam's friends are cool, too. You don't find them on formal occasions but we can go to a club with them if you'd like to. You must be lonely here, Blaine. You're an amazing person and it's a shame you hide your potential on the top floor of a New York building."

"I'm afraid." Blaine admitted.

"I get it. I really do, but don't let your fear reign over your life."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Kurt smiled and poured some more wine into their empty glasses.

* * *

Kurt woke up with a headache the next morning. He wasn't brave enough to open his eyes to the sunlight so he pressed himself further into the sheets and inhaled their flowery scent. Satin silk was soft on his bare skin and there was nothing he loved more than quality bedclothes. He stretched himself under the covers lazily and then sat up abruptly. The bed was bigger than his. He looked around and his suspicion was confirmed. He wasn't in his bed. He wasn't in his apartment. He wasn't in Adam's apartment either. Why the hell was he lying in an unfamiliar bed only in his boxers? He saw his clothes on the chair, neatly piled, thank God, so he dressed himself and left the room. He was still at Blaine's penthouse. Should he tell Blaine he was going home? What was the appropriate thing to do in a situation like this? He didn't even know where Blaine was. He slowly reached the stairs that led into the first floor of the apartment where they spent the night talking and drinking in Blaine's living room. Maybe a written note would be enough. He didn't need to talk to Blaine, right? Kurt went straight to the kitchen where he'd seen a notepad on the table yesterday but he was startled on the way there by the opening door of the elevator.

"Kurt?"

"Hi guys." Kurt greeted Nick and Jeff shyly.

"What are you doing here?" Nick asked, not sure what to think of it.

"I'm leaving…" There was shuffling in the kitchen and then Blaine's head appeared from round the corner.

"Oh, Kurt. You're up." A million watt smile was shot in his direction and Kurt internally groaned. He wasn't capable of being in Blaine's presence right now. "I just made breakfast. I mean, I put delivered food on a plate. Would you guys join us?" There was awkwardness between Kurt, Nick and Jeff but Blaine didn't seem to notice. He ushered them to the dining room and brought two more plates.

"Did you have fun last night?" Jeff interrupted the silence and sent Kurt and Blaine a glare.

"Yeah, we did." Blaine answered truthfully.

"We can see…" Nick noted.

"Well, sorry we didn't call you but I forgot." Blaine apologized under the impression that Nick and Jeff were mad about that. "We had way too much wine and we nearly passed out on the sofa. I forced Kurt to sleep upstairs in one of the bedrooms because I didn't want him to go home alone at night. I'm sorry, guys. I know I promised but…"

"Wait, you and Kurt didn't sleep in one bed?" Nick stopped him midsentence.

"What?! No! Of course not. Are you crazy?"

"So you two didn't have sex?" Jeff was ascertaining.

"Oh my god, Jeff! He has a BOYFRIEND! What the hell got into you this morning?! Apologize to Kurt for thinking he was cheating on Adam!" Blaine ordered. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The apology wasn't necessary. Kurt, himself, was the first one who thought he had cheated. He felt nauseous.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Kurt stood up. "Thank you, Blaine. I really enjoyed myself but I need to go now."

"Kurt, please, don't leave just because my friends are insane…"

"Kurt, we're sorry." Jeff said and Nick nodded fervently.

"No. It's okay. I'm not leaving because of that. I have to send the article by ten. I really gotta go." Kurt lied and rushed to the elevator, waving them goodbye.

* * *

"Kurt, where have you been?" Rachel scolded him as soon as he entered their apartment.

"At Blaine's." He whined and threw himself onto his favorite armchair.

"You spent the night?!" Rachel shrieked, which didn't help Kurt's headache at all.

"We were wasted. I don't remember how I got to bed. Separate beds if you want to know."

"Hey, I didn't say a word." Rachel defended herself.

"I thought I had slept with him." Kurt whispered.

"What?!"

"When I woke up and found out where I was, I thought we had had sex last night."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I don't remember anything after the fifth bottle of wine was opened!" Kurt shouted, clearly frustrated with himself. "I woke up and I was still in his apartment and I had to have some really vivid dream about him because I could swear it was him there with me at night."

"You were drunk, Kurt…"

"It's not an excuse to consider cheating on my boyfriend."

"You didn't consider cheating. You didn't cheat. You had a dream. If Adam gave you the attention you deserve, you wouldn't have those dreams about someone else."

"He wanted to come yesterday. He called me on his way from the theater."

"He knew you had other plans."

"Yes, he did. He wasn't mad or anything. When he found out I was still there he told me to have fun and ended the call. How could I do that, Rachel?"

"Stop freaking out. You haven't done anything."

"I'm going crazy…"

"Maybe you should stop hanging out with Blaine, then." Rachel suggested to her troubled friend.

"No way. No way in hell I'm going to cut him out of my life."

"You are awfully attached to someone who you've met three times so far…"

"You don't understand, Rach. He's lonely. He's …He is this selfless soul who got hurt a lot and he needs a friend. I can't abandon him. I'm not like the others. I won't do that to him." Kurt was determinate.

"Okay. I hope you know what you are doing."

"Frankly, I have no idea."


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt stayed true to his words and didn’t distance himself from Blaine. Since the accidental sleep over he spent at least one or two hours a day in his company. They were only hanging out in Blaine’s apartment, often accompanied by Nick, Jeff and Rachel but Kurt was happy for that because he felt like he was going back to his college days, when he could just be and enjoy his time with friends without worrying about what tomorrow might bring. On the nights they couldn’t meet, they were logged in on Skype, talking endlessly till the early morning hours.

 

One day, during the second week of their budding friendship, Kurt decided to make a bold move. The doorman at Blaine’s apartment building knew him by now, so he asked him not to call Blaine that he was there. He pushed the button on the private elevator that went directly into Blaine’s penthouse and a few seconds later he was standing in Blaine’s hallway.

“Blaine?” He shouted. “Where are you?”

“Kurt?” Blaine ran down the stairs, taking two at the time. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy to see me?” Kurt grinned at him and took in his appearance. Blaine was wearing sweatpants that were too big for his small figure and a t-shirt with Dalton Private School for Boys emblem on it.

“You need to change.” He ordered and Blaine looked at him precariously.

“What?”

“We’re going out. Come on, I know your wardrobe is much better than this.” Kurt said as he was walking up the stairs to Blaine’s bedroom.

“Kurt?” Blaine asked warily, when he found him going through his closet.

“Do you trust me?” Kurt turned around and pierced his blue eyes into Blaine’s hazel ones.

“Yeah…I guess…” Kurt laughed at his hesitant answer but didn’t demand more.

“Okay. I’ll take that as a yes. So, put some jeans and a shirt on, nothing fancy. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

Kurt was standing near the banister on the terrace, enjoying the view of the city when Blaine appeared behind him.

“Kurt?” He spoke softly. “I really don’t think I want to go out in the middle of the day…I only go to rehearsals, you know. By taxi. I don’t do…”

“Blaine, I promise we’re not going to wander in the city. My car is in the garage, parked in one of the visitor’s spots.”

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Come on. New York traffic is horrible and we have to be there in an hour.” Blaine fought with himself. He wasn’t comfortable with going to the mysterious location and he was considering saying no to Kurt but then Kurt smiled at him encouragingly and Blaine was a big enough fool to fall for it.

“Lead the way.” He said and a joyous laugh that left Kurt’s mouth was everything he needed to become curious about their trip.

The traffic wasn’t as bad as Kurt originally assumed. They were stuck in a traffic jam for fifteen minutes, but except for that, the journey went smoothly. Kurt parked his car in front of a big house with a large garden. There were lots of trees in front of the house and a playground next to it.

“We have a few minutes to spare.” Kurt announced. “Would you like to have a coffee?” He motioned to the opposite direction of the house where a cute little coffee shop was.

“Erm…I don’t know, Kurt. I don’t go to places like…”

“Blaine, would you like to have a coffee? I didn’t ask you to go in there…” Kurt interrupted him for the second time that day. He did it frequently. Every time Blaine started to be insecure or ramble about the matter, Kurt would cut him off.

“I…” Blaine shifted in his seat, his eyes big and scared.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Kurt was out of the car before Blaine had a chance to blink his eyes. A few minutes later he was opening the door on Blaine’s side and ushering him out of the car, giving him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s go.” He stepped into the direction of the house and Blaine followed him. Kurt entered the house and scribbled something down into the book that was near the door. Then he walked through the house to the stairs that probably went into the basement.

The house was odd. There was a big kitchen but it didn’t seem like it was being used on regular basis. The living room was just a big hall with a lot of chairs and a stage. There were children’s paintings on the walls and all the doors down the hall were closed. Blaine had a suspicion that no one really lived in this house. When they got downstairs, Blaine couldn’t comprehend what the room was for.

“Welcome to my kingdom.” Kurt told him proudly.

“Where are we?”

“In my choir room.” Blaine took a better look around. There were cushions on the floor and a piano and hi-fi system in the corner. The walls were painted in rainbow colors and there were imprints of little hands everywhere.

“Sit down.” Blaine turned his head into the direction of Kurt’s voice and saw him sitting crossed legs on one of the pillows. He did as he’d been told.

“Why are we here?”

“Because I think you’ll like it.”

“And what am I supposed to like?”

“The house, the lesson we are about to teach…”

“Teach?”

“This is H&C house – Hope and Chance. It belongs to a non-profit organization that helps socially disadvantage children to have extracurricular activities. We work with kids from five to ten. When the school ends, they get on the bus and come here. Their parents, who are usually at work, don’t have to pay for after school care and they also don’t have to worry about them. They are safe here. In the evening, the bus takes them all home. We have volunteers that help them with their homework and we have volunteers for other activities like dancing, singing, painting or sports as well. I teach a glee club two times a week. That’s where we are now. Today a group of five to seven years old kids is going to blow your mind, Mr. Anderson. You’ll love them.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

“They don’t know you. Most of them don’t have television, let alone internet connection. Those are kids mostly from single-parent families. They are tight on money but their spirits seem to be unbreakable. They don’t give a damn about it. It’s pretty tough on them at school sometimes, with all the other pupils with their brand new clothes and toys and electronics, but when they come here, they are surrounded with kids like them. They love it here. You’re a musician; I thought you could give your expertise to them. They won’t corner you, nor will they ask for your autograph because they don’t have any clue who you are. You can be just Blaine in here. And ninety percent of our repertoire is Disney songs.”

“Okay. I’m sold.”

“I knew it!” Kurt clapped his hand and wanted to tell Blaine more about the organization when there was shouting and screaming coming from above them.

“And they are here.”

“Kurt! Kurt!” A powerful voice was yelling from the top of the stairs, trying to catch Kurt’s attention over other children.

“What did I tell you about yelling?” Kurt said firmly when ten kids marched into the room and tumbled on the floor.

“That we should save our voices…” A small boy said.

“Exactly. So why did you shout from the top of the stairs?”

“I have exciting news…” The boy answered his cheeks red from embarrassment of being scolded.

“Well, you can tell us now. You don’t have to shout, okay? We need your voice for the spring recital. You can’t lose it.”         

“Daddy told me we are going to visit Daddy Justin on Saturday. He said I can sing to him.”

“That’s amazing, Eddie. Which song would you like to sing?”

“You and Me! You and Me! Can we practice it today?” Kurt almost forgot he had Blaine sitting next to him. Fortunately, a little’s girl curiosity helped him notice Blaine again.

“Who is he?” She pointed her finger at him.

“It’s Blaine. He is a friend of mine who would like to teach you some new songs.”

“Hi Blaine.” The kids greeted him in unison, making Blaine smile.

“Hi. Nice to meet you.”

“Can you sing with us You and Me before you teach us something new?” Eddie asked him.

“Sure. I’m surprised you know the song. Oliver and Company is a very old movie…”

“None of them have seen the movie. I just taught them the song.” Kurt clarified the situation.

“Oh…”

“Blaine can play the piano. Would you like to sing with the piano today?”

 

An hour later, when all the kids went upstairs to do their homework, Blaine stayed seated by the piano and played a soft melody.

“You’re really good with them.” He complimented Kurt who came to sit next to him on the piano bench.

“Thank you. You were great, too, you know. They loved you.”

“How did you hear about this?”

“Adam used to volunteer here. I started helping him when we got together. After he graduated from NYADA I took over his position. He didn’t have as much free time anymore due to his work obligations. Sometimes he would stop by with me if he was free but he hasn’t come with me lately. Most of the volunteers are college students. I’m lucky my job allows me to still be a part of this…”

“I think Eddie’s daddy Justin will be very pleased by his son’s singing. That kid is talented.”

“Eddie’s father is dead.” Kurt stated coldly.

“W-what?”

“Eddie is one of the youngest kids. He’s been coming here since September. I had a talk with his father in the beginning…They come from a small town in Ohio. His father had a friend. She got pregnant but she was sick, I don’t know details, I just know that he had full custody of the boy when she passed away. After high school he moved out from his parents’ house and rented an apartment with his best friend. Everything was alright for the first year or two, and then people started to talk and the rumors about them being gay spread. They were true. They were saving money so they could go to New York. They wanted to get married and live in a place where they wouldn’t be judged. One night as Justin was walking home from work, he was beaten up. They found him in the morning, dead.”

“Oh my god!”

“Peter is convinced it was a hate crime but the case was closed because there was no evidence. He left for New York with his son right after Justin’s funeral. They drive back there twice a year. On Justin’s birthday and on the day of his death. He works at the docks but he doesn’t earn a lot. He is barely able to support his son. He is a nice guy. Eddie is the center of his universe. There are lots of stories in this house, Blaine. Some of them are really sad. We try to encourage the children to work hard at school so they could have a better future. We have pretty talented singers and dancers here. Two years ago a girl who took our painting classes had an exhibition in a small gallery in the city. I didn’t know her, she was out of the age when I started here but I went to the exhibition anyway. I took Rachel and we have a sunrise painting in the living room now. Every year a few boys who joined our sport clubs in the past get sport scholarships for college.” Blaine listened to him intently. He knew some people were poor but the reality didn’t hit him up until now. How many talented people were out there, wasting their gift just because they weren’t able to afford the proper education?

“How can I help?”

“You came. You helped a lot today.”

“I can make a donation. What do you need?”

“Blaine, we’re fine. I don’t need anything for my glee club. I have the room and costumes for recitals. That’s all I need.”

“What do the others need? New canvas or colors? Maybe dance shoes? Musical instruments? Whatever. Just say the word.”

“Blaine, I didn’t drag you here to get money from you.”

“I know. But I want to help. Please, let me help them.”

“Look, if you want to make a donation, I can give you a number of our founder. You can talk to her about it.”

“Okay.” Blaine was satisfied. For now. There were thoughts in his mind that were bugging him but he needed to figure some things out first.

“Let’s go home.” Kurt suggested as soon as he realized that Blaine was being too thoughtful for Kurt’s liking. He wasn’t sure if he had crossed the line. Maybe he pushed Blaine a little too far from his shell. Blaine stood up and went upstairs, but instead of halting by the car he stopped in front of the coffee shop.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He shouted at Kurt who was still standing on the opposite side of the road.

“A little bit.”

“Do they have sandwiches?” Kurt ran across the street to Blaine.

“You sure you want to go inside?”

“Yes. No one is there and it’s a small shop. I most likely won’t be cornered by a big crowd.” Blaine stepped into the shop and Kurt did the same.

“Hello.” He greeted a barista and the girl smiled at him, a little blush on her face. “Can I have two tuna sandwiches, please?”

“Sure.”

“And medium drip and non-fat mocha, as well please.”

“You can sit down and I’ll be there with your order in a minute.”

“Great. Thanks.” Blaine’s charming smile made the girl cheeks even redder. Kurt just shook his head and shoved him along to the table.

“I forgot how nice it is to sit in a cafe.” Blaine spoke quietly. “I should probably go out more often…”

“Probably…”

“Can I come with you again when I’m free? I’d like to see them…There are so many Disney songs they don’t know…I could bring a guitar with me. What do you say?”

“I’d love that.” Kurt said softly. “I don’t want to force you though. I wanted to show you something new but don’t feel like you have to go there now. They are used to my guests. Rachel has come with me several times but it’s nothing regular. They won’t mind.”

“I want to, Kurt. I really, really do. I was lucky to have everything as a kid. Every child should have a chance to embrace their talent. Those kids don’t deserve being treated badly at school because of their social status. If I can help with encouragement and make their days a little bit better, I’m in. I don’t like sitting in my apartment and doing nothing either way.”

“The small kids have their glee club on Tuesday. The older kids – from eight to ten – have their glee club on Thursday but they may recognize you…Whenever you want to come, just let me know.”

“Thank you.”

 

“I don’t believe you!” Nick shouted when Kurt told him and Jeff where Blaine had spent his afternoon.

“We’ve been trying for two years to get him out of that damn penthouse! We even MOVED OUT! He has been in our apartment twice!” Jeff complained.

“Do you have him under a spell or what?” Nick didn’t understand. Yes, Kurt was cool and Blaine liked having him around but neither he nor Jeff expected miracles from their friendship.

“I don’t. You are too soft on him. You always ask if he wants to do this or that…I didn’t ask. I ordered.”

“And it actually worked?”

“I would say so.”

“He went willingly into the café?”

“Yes. That was a big surprise for me, too.”

“Why didn’t you force him to go for a beer with us?”

“I didn’t want to push my luck with him. He had an eventful day. Beer in an overcrowded bar didn’t sound such a good idea.”

“I like the way you think Mr. Hummel.” Jeff bowed.

“Thank you…Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure. What’s up?” Nick was curious.

“Blaine told me the last time he had an unpleasant encounter with his fans he almost had a panic attack…”

“Yeah…”

“People usually don’t have a panic attack without a good reason. Did something happen to him in the past that would have triggered the situation?” Nick and Jeff shared concerned looks.

“I’m sorry, Kurt but it’s not our secret to tell. When he is ready – and by the progress you’ve already made I supposed it will be soon, he’ll tell you.”

“I just don’t want to push him too far.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine was waiting for Nick and Jeff to show up any minute. They were about to hang out in his apartment, drink some beer and talk, just the three of them. Blaine would love to have Kurt over as well, but he had a date tonight. Blaine found it strange how much Kurt had changed his life so far. From the outside it might have been small changes now and then but Blaine’s friends knew it was huge. There was one thing Blaine was afraid of – he was becoming more and more enchanted by Kurt every passing day. Kurt was his first friend in years and Blaine opened up to him in a way he’d never done before. If Kurt – for whatever reason – would decide not to keep in touch anymore, Blaine would be devastated. It was only little over a month since he had met Kurt, but Blaine was scared shitless that the man meant so much to him already.  
His thoughts were interrupted by the ding of the elevator. Nick and Jeff stepped into the apartment with big smiles on their faces.  
“Blaine! It’s so nice to see you!” Nick wrapped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and Jeff threw himself at them.  
“We missed you soooo much.” Jeff cried.  
“I missed you too, guys.” Blaine teased them. “It’s been a long two hours since we parted after the rehearsal.”  
“The longest two hours of my life.” Jeff said with a wink and walked into Blaine’s kitchen to retrieve a bottle of beer from the fridge for each of them. Then they seated themselves on Blaine’s terrace and stared at the sunset wordlessly for a few minutes.  
“We should come up with some excuse for tomorrow in case we end up wasted tonight.” Nick looked at his two best friend and they nodded.  
“Wes will kill us if we are not at our best two days before opening night.” Blaine noted.  
“Maybe we shouldn’t drink that much…” Jeff offered. The three friends exchanged serious looks and then burst into laughter.  
“Not gonna happen!”  
“Seriously, how long has it been since we were drunk?”  
“Three weeks.” Blaine mumbled.  
“Speak for yourself, Anderson. Your private party with Kurt doesn’t count. We weren’t there.”  
“Not my fault that you were too busy chasing girls in the club.” Blaine remarked and Nick didn’t say another word on the matter.  
“I think Wes is taking directing too seriously…We’ve been prepared for the opening night for two weeks now.” Jeff complained. Wes was their friend but his dictatorial practices had improved since they’d been at school together. If sitting through the glee club practice at Dalton had been torture sometimes, now it was ten times worse. Wes was a man on a mission. And he was determined to make the show the biggest hit of the season.  
“It’s about honor, man. It’s Trent’s first play. He’s never written anything before. He isn’t a big name in the business. We have three months run to persuade people that our production is really good.” Nick noted.  
“Exactly! We have three months run and we are almost sold out!”  
“Jeff, we all know that has nothing to do with the play or the production itself. It has hell lot of to do with Blaine and Rachel having the lead roles…”  
“I know…I’m just tired of his crazy schedule the last few days. Note to self: don’t go for anything Wes is directing for at least a year.” Blaine listened to his friends, not saying a thing. He liked the show they’d been putting together. He didn’t doubt it would be a big hit. It was a family coming together after years, getting several new members on the way. Wes’ extreme methods didn’t surprise him and Jeff’s whining was always funny. There was nothing left to say for Blaine except that he was happy.  
“You’re awfully quiet.” Jeff turned his head to the left to face his friend.  
“I’m fine.”  
“What about Kurt?” Nick asked him.  
“What about him?”  
“You’re getting pretty close…”   
“We are.”  
“You even go out of your apartment for him.”  
“I do.”  
“Is there something you aren’t telling us?”  
“No, there isn’t.” Blaine stated firmly. “I told you there aren’t any romantic feelings involved. We are friends.”  
“Okay.” Nick raised his hand in a defending manner. “I didn’t mean to upset you. We are happy for you but we would hate to see you hurt again.”  
“Don’t worry about me. I’m careful.” Blaine said but he didn’t sound convincing at all.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“You can’t be serious!” Kurt shook his head, not believing what he had just heard.  
“I’m sorry, baby. The audition is coming up and the guys offered to help me go through the lines.” His boyfriend tried to explain but Kurt didn’t seem to give a damn about his reasons.  
“And you couldn’t come up with another date?”  
“That’s the only time we are all free.”  
“You aren’t free! You are supposed to be with me on the opening night of Rachel’s new show!”  
“You don’t like going to Broadway events anyway…” Adam reminded him and he immediately realized it wasn’t the best thing to say.  
“Actually, I’m looking forward for this one. Not just because of Rachel being in it but also because I have friends among the cast. Friends I’ve been hanging out with for over a month and you haven’t even met them!”  
“We can go some other night…” Adam suggested.  
“I’m going tomorrow. I have friends to support and I’m not going to miss their premiere. I’m really disappointed in you right now.”  
“I’m sorry. You know our final performance is on Sunday and I still don’t have another job. I need to nail it on the audition on Friday…It’ll get better, I promise.”  
“So you keep saying but actually not a lot changed over the last year. Things got even worse in last couple of months…”  
“I’ll figure something out, okay?”  
“Okay. I think England will do us good. We need a break from this routine…”  
“Yeah…maybe…” Adam said indefinitely but Kurt was too tired to start another fight about his lack of enthusiasm towards their trip.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“Do you wanna get out of here?” Blaine came to Kurt from behind, taking a seat next to him by the table.  
“It would be rude, don’t you think?” Kurt had loved the show. He was sure it would be the big hit of the season but he wasn’t enjoying the after party half as much as he should have been considering this one was different from all those he had attended in years and he felt welcomed here. He was still mad at Adam for not going with him and it was highly influencing his mood. He did want to leave but he couldn’t bring himself to do it knowing his friends would probably be disappointed.  
“It’s long after midnight and most of them are drunk. They won’t notice. Come on. I can’t look at you being miserable.”  
“I’m not miserable.” Kurt protested weakly.  
“The fake smile you are wearing the whole night is not going to fool me, Kurt. Let’s go.”  
“I don’t want to go home, though.”  
“Who said anything about going home?”  
“So where are we going?”  
“Do you trust me?” Blaine asked him with a spark in his eyes, the same one he had when he was exciting about something and Kurt would blindly follow him everywhere if it meant the spark would stay in his hazel orbs.  
Blaine raised his hand to call the first taxi they saw when they stepped into the night. They talked a bit about the play on their way and Kurt complimented Blaine on his portrayal of the character, praising his acting. Blaine told him how much they actually had managed to screw up things and how Wes had almost had a heart attack and ordered them mandatory rehearsals through the next week. The small talk continued until the taxi stopped in front of a big fence in an unlit area near the river.  
“Do you want us to get killed?” Kurt asked Blaine warily while he was opening the gate.  
“No one is going to kill us, don’t worry.” Blaine said as soon as they were behind the gate. He made a few step forward and the light went on. “The photocell is a great thing, isn’t it?”  
Kurt took a look around and saw a tinny building with no windows that looked like storage.  
“Where the hell are we?”  
“You’ll see…” Blaine led him around the corner where the door was. He unlocked it and turned the lights on. Kurt came in and couldn’t believe his eyes. There was fully furnished loft with a glass roof in front of him.   
“What’s this?”  
“My second home…” Blaine stated and pushed some buttons on the wall. There was hot air blown into the place. “It should be heated up in a few minutes. Then you can take your coat off.”  
“Blaine, what the hell is this?” Blaine ignored his question, walking to the part that was used as a kitchen to take some snacks and water. Then he headed to the bed that was in the middle of the room.  
“Come here. Lay down and look up.” Kurt hesitantly did as he was told. The lights dimmed and there were stars above them. Kurt never thought it was possible to see the stars in New York.   
“It’s beautiful.” He whispered.  
“Yeah. It is…I like to come here.”  
“Are you going to tell me what this is?” Kurt asked timidly once again.  
“It’s an old storage building. I bought it right after the incident with my fans two years ago. I needed some place out of the city…At first I used it just for composing and playing music but often I finished late at night and it was horrible to go home just to come here the next day again so I made it into an apartment. I go here at least one day a week, even though it’s just for a few hours. I don’t remember when the last time I spent the night here was…I’ve been pretty busy lately.”  
“It’s amazing…”  
“I’ve never brought anyone in here before, beside Nick and Jeff.”  
“Thank you for bringing me.”  
“No need to thank me. You share your kids with me regularly. It’s just the small repayment for that…”  
“Those kids love you. You don’t have to repay anything to me…”  
“I felt like I wanted to share it with you though. You seem a little down tonight and I always get into a better mood here…”  
“I’m sorry.” Kurt apologized sincerely. “It’s your big day and…my personal issues got in the way. I should have forgotten about them.”  
“Everybody has a bad day sometimes, Kurt.”  
“I’m frustrated. I don’t know what to do…Adam and I are growing apart every passing day. I didn’t even realize it until I started to hang out with you…It’s all about his job. I spent more time with you, Nick and Jeff than with him in the last couple of weeks. He is cutting our time short or he calls me when I already have another plans. He is chasing his lead role and I’m…He really pissed me off because he didn’t come with me tonight. I go with him to every single event he wants me to go even though he knows how I feel about them. And then one time I want something from him and he needs to rehears the lines…I’m sorry. I don’t want to bother you with my problems.”   
“Don’t be silly. You aren’t bothering me at all. Keep talking.” Blaine encouraged him.  
“How do you recognize when you are with someone because you love them not because you get used to them?”  
“I have no idea. My longest relationship lasted for ten months and it was while I was at Dalton. Since I came to New York, I’ve been in a few relationships – if you can call them that – which were based only on sex or getting something from my fame. It usually didn’t take more than a month. I swore not to date anyone from the business and as I don’t go out to meet someone new, I’ve been single for over two years. I’m not the best person to give an advice on relationships. But I’m a great listener…” Kurt nodded, his eyes fixed on the stars. It was calm and beautiful. There were lots of questions in his mind and Kurt somehow knew he couldn’t avoid answering them any longer. He’d been pushing the issue for far too long and it was time to face the truth.  
“I first met Adam right after I came to New York. Rachel joined his glee club at NYADA and she introduced us. He was the first guy to ever take an interest in me. I was flattered. Who wouldn’t be? I was just a kid from Ohio and a twenty-two year old sophisticated senior was pursuing me. I didn’t know what to do at the time. I had some experience from back at home but it was meaningless encounters with boys at our local gay bar. I’d never gone further than kissing. Adam was patient with me. We started as friends before we got together. I love him. I really do but it so different now. It’s like we are living our lives separately, you know. We used to have so much fun. We used to go out with friends and go on trips. We always found time to spend together even though our schedules where insane. It’s not happening anymore. I don’t know if it is because we both have a job now or because we don’t try enough to make the time for ourselves…I’m not sure whether every relationship comes to this stage after some time or if it’s just us not being able to retain what we once had…”  
“Did you talk about how you feel with him?”   
“No. I tried to but it didn’t work out so I gave up.”  
“Maybe you shouldn’t have given up. I’m not an expert, Kurt. But if there is something bothering you, you should talk about it. You need to name the problem if you want to solve it. Adam gives you freedom. How many times did he call you when you were with us? And although he wanted to be with you, he told you to stay. You give him freedom to spend his free time as he wishes; he is doing the same thing for you. Maybe you have to sit down and talk about what it means for your relationship…What both of you need to give up if you want to work out…?”  
Kurt stayed silent. Blaine was right. Deep down he knew the eventual talk was inevitable but he was afraid to bring it up because he was aware that the outcome of the talk could be quite different than what he was hoping for.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
When Kurt came home the next day, he went straight to Rachel’s room. She’d been texting him since the morning, claiming that she needed her best gay at home because her head hurt and if she wouldn’t be at her best at the theatre in the evening, Wes was going to kill her.  
“Why did you disappear?” She greeted him with the accusing element in her voice.  
“I wasn’t in the mood and Blaine decided to take us away…”  
“Is he your best friend now? Have I been replaced?” Rachel asked with a pout.  
“Rachel Berry can’t be replaced. Don’t worry. So how is your headache?”  
“Better. Tell me about your night.” Kurt started to talk. He said every single detail of the conversation he’d had with Blaine. Rachel was nodding approvingly, silently agreeing with everything Blaine had told.  
“When are you going to talk to him?”  
“He has an audition tomorrow morning and the show closes on Sunday so I guess during the next week…”  
“Are you going to England?”  
“He should know whether he is called back on Saturday so if he doesn’t get it, we will go.”  
“What about Blaine?”  
“What about him?”  
“You are pretty close…”  
“Yes, we are.”  
“Kurt, do you have feelings for him? And I mean like romantic feelings not I want to get into your skinny pants feelings…”  
“Rachel! Of course I don’t have feelings for him. We are friends.”  
“Okay. Just be careful. I don’t want to see you hurt.”


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt woke up, fully rested, the morning after the closing night of Adam’s last show. They hadn’t gone to the after party, which had surprised Kurt, but he’d been glad. They had had the whole night just for themselves and they had made the best of it. With a big smile on his face, he stood up and went to the bathroom. His boyfriend was nowhere to be seen so he decided to take a shower and make some brunch afterwards.  
“Good morning, baby.” Adam kissed him softly, when he came to the living room half an hour later.  
“Good morning. What’s this?” Kurt motioned to the coffee table full of food.  
“We need to eat, don’t we? I made some of your favorites…” Kurt immediately sat down on the couch and grabbed a peanut butter sandwich.  
“Thank you.” He said, his mouth full. “So when are we leaving?” Adam tensed and the action didn’t go unnoticed by Kurt.  
“Adam? When is our flight?” Kurt asked warily.  
“I haven’t booked one…”   
“Oh...let’s just eat and then we can do it online.”   
“Kurt…” Adam started hesitantly. “We are not going to England…” Kurt stopped chewing on his sandwich and fixed his eyes on Adam.  
“Of course, we are. You promised to go if you don’t get the part. You weren’t called back. We are going to visit your family in Essex.”  
“Kurt, there’ll be auditions…”   
“There’ll always be auditions! You promised!”   
“I know. I’m sorry. But I have to stay here and wait. What if…”  
“I don’t care what if! You promised! You made me go to the party where Violet was and didn’t care that the woman makes me uncomfortable. So now I don’t care what auditions are coming. I want to go to England like you promised! Can’t you see how distant we’ve become? We need to spend some time together, figure things out. We can’t keep going like this! I DON’T WANT TO KEEP GOING LIKE THIS!”  
“I know. I know, Kurt.” Adam kneeled in front of his frustrated boyfriend and put his hands on his thighs.  
“Look in the pink bowl.” He ordered and Kurt did so, just because he was tired of yelling. There were keys in it.  
“Keys?”  
“To my apartment…” Adam explained.  
“I already have the keys to your apartment.”  
“Yeah, I know but I wanted to make this special.”  
“What do you want to make special?”  
“I want you to move in with me.”  
“What?!” Kurt dropped the keys and looked at Adam as if he grew two heads all of a sudden.  
“You’re right. We need to spend more time together. We need to move forward in our relationship and us living in different places isn’t helping a thing. If you move in, you’ll be here when I come home. We wouldn’t have to schedule our meetings…”  
“You can’t be serious.”   
“I am, Kurt. Deadly serious.”  
“What the hell am I supposed to do here when you aren’t even here most of the time?”  
“The same thing you do when you are home. Rachel isn’t there most of the time as well.”  
“So you want me to sit here and wait patiently for you to come home from whatever crazy and unnecessary activity you claim to need?” Kurt was furious. The morning wasn’t going the way it was supposed to be. They should be planning their trip instead, everything was so wrong all at once.  
“I can’t cut out my courses, Kurt. But it’ll be easier to spend time together because you’ll be here when I come home. It gets better. I promise.”  
“For someone who can’t keep promises you make a lot of them…” Kurt noted sarcastically.  
“Kurt, I love you. I love you and I can’t imagine not being with you every single day. This isn’t working. I can see it. I want to take another step in our relationship…”  
“What do you mean? How do you think this is going to work if you don’t change your spare time activities?”  
“Will you marry me, Kurt?” Adam took Kurt’s hand into his and stared at him hopefully. After the initial shock, Kurt shook his head.  
“No, no, no. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening!”   
“Kurt, we’ve been together over four years. It’s only natural that we’ve come to this.”   
“We can’t get married…” Kurt stated firmly.  
“Why not?” Adam chuckled. He found it endearing how Kurt was so stupefied by his proposal.  
“You just broke the promise you gave me a month ago and now you want me to believe in another?”  
“Oh my god.” Adam laughed. “It’s completely different situation! Come on, Kurt. Just give me your answer because I can’t put the ring on your finger unless you say yes.” He teased him, making Kurt’s anger boil in him more and more.  
“It’s not funny, Adam! We have problems. We’ve been ignoring them for far too long to sweep them away for the sake of getting married!”   
“We aren’t sweeping anything away. The marriage actually can solve those problems.” Kurt stood up abruptly and it was the moment Adam finally understood that his boyfriend wasn’t about to give him a positive response.  
“Kurt?” He asked alarmed.  
“I can’t marry you.” Kurt whispered.  
“Why not?”  
“I thought I had cheated on you.”  
“What?!”  
“I thought I had cheated on you with Blaine. The first time we were hanging out in his apartment we got wasted. I woke up, almost naked and I thought we had had sex the previous night.”  
“But you didn’t, right? You didn’t cheat on me, did you?”  
“No. No, I didn’t but the thought was there. I thought I was able to do so...I can’t marry you, Adam.”   
“You can’t or you don’t want to? Because for me it seems like a lame excuse…”  
“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” Adam took a tenative step towards him not sure what Kurt was apologizing for but Kurt quickly walked in another direction.  
“What are you saying, Kurt?”  
“I think we should break up.”  
“No. We can forget about the proposal, we can go to England if it’s so important to you but we are not breaking up because of this.”  
“It’s not about England or the proposal, Adam and you know it. We grew apart and neither the trip to Essex nor marriage will make this better. Let’s face it. You’d rather spend your time chasing your Broadway dreams - and I don’t blame you for it, I really don’t but it’s more important to you than our relationship...and for the last couple of weeks since I made new friends I’d rather spend my time with them than run to you when you call saying you’re free…”  
“It can change. Kurt, please, it all can change. We just have to give us another chance.”  
“I don’t want to give us another chance...I’m sorry. I’m…” Tears started to fall down his cheeks but he took a deep breath and with the last one sorry he left Adam’s apartment.

“Hello?” Blaine picked up his phone with enthusiasm. It was close to noon and he was hungry. Kurt calling right this moment meant the opportunity to have lunch with him.  
“Blaine?” Kurt asked, his voice thick.  
“Kurt? Are you okay?”  
“Are you still at the rehearsal?” Kurt tried to act as everything was alright but Blaine could hear sniffling.  
“No. Wes released us an hour ago. We just went through the problematic scenes - not that there are any but you’ve met Wes, you know how he can be...Kurt, what’s going on?”  
“Could you please come over?”   
“I’m on my way.”   
Blaine didn’t know what to expect when he came to Kurt’s apartment. He knocked and waited. The door opened and revealed a red eyed Kurt with tears streaming down his face, who immediately threw himself at Blaine’s short figure. Blaine wrapped his arms around him and led them inside, kicking the door close.  
“Shhh...it’s okay. Everything will be okay.” He whispered soothingly into Kurt’s ear while he managed to sit them down on the sofa and rock crying Kurt back and forth.  
“It won’t be okay.” Kurt sniffled and a heart-wrenching sob left his body. “We broke up. It won’t be okay.” Blaine’s hands stopped their movement up and down Kurt’s back for a moment. The information caught him unprepared. He composed himself swiftly and continued in comforting Kurt again.  
“What happened? Do you wanna talk about it?”  
“Everything was alright until he said we weren’t going to Essex and then I got mad and he wanted me to move in with him and he proposed and I said I couldn’t marry him because I thought I cheated on him with you and he took the proposal back but I realized I don’t want to be with him anymore and told him we should break up and left and…” The words spluttered from Kurt’s mouths in such speed that Blaine could understand barely half of it.  
“Kurt, slow down. Tell me once again, okay?” Kurt nodded and wiped his tears. He started to talk, this time giving Blaine more details so he could see what the problem was. Blaine was still holding him in his arms, feeling totally useless with the lack of his verbal response, because he wasn’t sure what Kurt might want to hear right now. He just let him get it all out, carefully listening and putting the picture together.   
“…and then I left.” Kurt finished his heartbreaking story, his head placed on Blaine’s shoulder and his hand gripping on his shirt.   
“Kurt, I’m so sorry.” Blaine said empathically. “I know it looks bad but maybe tomorrow you’ll see it from a different angle.”  
“No, I won’t.” Kurt disputed. His decision was final. He had no doubts about it.  
“Look, I know you were angry with him because he didn’t keep his promise but you guys were together for years…You need to talk it out.”  
“Blaine, we were together for years and not once did we talk about living together or getting married. That kind of thought didn’t even cross my mind…I’m a horrible person. I broke his heart. I was playing with him all those years…” The tears found their way to Kurt’s eyes again. “I thought I had cheated on him. I thought I was able to do it…”  
“You aren’t a horrible person. And I don’t think you were playing with him either. You wanted to solve your problems, you were aware of them…”  
“But I never did. It was convenient not to pay that much attention to them. Do you remember what you told me when we were at your loft? That we would have to give up something if we wanted to last? The moment I found out he wanted me to move in with him, I knew I don’t want to give up anything for him. When he proposed, I was sure I was with him because of habit. I can’t keep going in that relationship. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him. Not now, not ever and it’s not going to change. It all came to me in that one moment and however scary it was, I had to break things off. I love him but not the way I should. God, Blaine. What have I done? Why was I staying with him when there were apparently differences that we couldn’t overcome? I’m such an idiot.”  
“Stop it, Kurt. You’re not. Relationships start and end every day. Don’t beat yourself up for it. You’ve done what you thought was the best. You were brave to say no to him. It takes a lot of courage to break someone’s heart for the sake of their future happiness.”  
“I’m selfish…” Kurt murmured.  
“We all are.”  
“No, you aren’t selfish. You’re the most selfless person I know.” Kurt stated flatly and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist tightly, keeping him close desperately as if he was afraid that Blaine would, out of nowhere, realize what a terrible man Kurt was being and leave him in his sorrows alone.   
“Stop belittling yourself. I like you exactly the way you are. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.” Kurt smiled a bit. Blaine liked him despite his flaws. Maybe he wasn’t a lost case after all…  
Rachel Berry was having a rough day. After a needless rehearsal that Wes had demanded she went straight to a meeting with a music producer who was trying to get her under contract for months now, but he wasn’t able to understand that she refused to sing three sentence commercial pop songs. Today the pattern was the same. The songs he presented were pure shit in her eyes but she forced herself to listen to them, hence she was about to be late for work. When she stepped into the apartment she shared with her best friend, she rushed through the hall to get into shower and get ready for her evening performance in theater but she halted in her trace the moment she saw Kurt peacefully sleeping on Blaine’s chest on their sofa. Blaine was softly caressing his arm with one hand while combing his hair with other.  
“Blaine?”  
“Hi, Rach.”  
“What are you doing?”  
“He broke up with Adam.”  
“Oh my god! Why didn’t he call me?”  
“He said you had a meeting. He didn’t want to disturb you.”  
“I would have come immediately! Screw the meeting. It was pointless anyway! What the hell happened?!”  
“I think it’ll be better if he tells you…”  
“Okay…you two look pretty cozy…”  
“He fell asleep on me and I didn’t have a heart to wake him up. He cried himself to sleep…” Blaine said but he didn’t look at Rachel at all. His gaze was fixed on the man in his arms. Rachel wanted to tease him about it but then she changed her mind. It wasn’t the right time for that and knowing Blaine he wasn’t going to do anything about the feelings he had clearly written all over his face. Rachel was sure he wasn’t aware of them yet.  
“I need to take quick shower and we have to go. We are supposed to be in the theater in 45 minutes, Blaine.”  
“Okay.” Blaine sighed. He really, really didn’t want to wake Kurt up. He also didn’t want to leave him alone.  
“Kurt…” He whispered and moved a little. “Kurt, wake up.” Kurt made a noise of protest and Blaine fought with him for several minutes but Kurt opened his eyes after all.  
“I have to go to work. Do you want to come with me and Rachel?”  
“No.” Kurt shook his head. “I wouldn’t be able to interact with people tonight.”  
“I hate to leave you here alone.”  
“I’ll be fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me.”  
“Okay.” Blaine didn’t seem convinced and Kurt found it sweet.   
“Thank you. I’m sorry I ruined your day…and soaked your shirt.” Blaine chuckled and hugged him.  
“You didn’t ruin anything. I was happy to help.”  
“Blaine? We need to go.” Rachel came to the room, running to hug Kurt.  
“I’m so sorry, Kurt. You should have called me. I would have come.”  
“I know but you had the meeting.”  
“Still. I don’t have the time to find out what happened now and Blaine won’t tell me.”Blaine excused himself for toilet because he felt redundant. He decided to give them five minutes to talk before heading to work. Wes would understand…Well, he wouldn’t but Blaine didn’t give a damn about it.  
“I’ll tell you when you come back, okay?”  
“Okay. How are holding up?”  
“I’ll be fine.”  
“Kurt? Can I ask you something?”  
“Sure. What’s up?”  
“How much was your break up influenced by Blaine?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I know you and Adam had problems even before you met Blaine but since Blaine became your friend you were more vocal about them…I was just wondering if…”  
“There is nothing going on between me and Blaine. We’re just friends.” Rachel nodded but she, as well as Kurt, didn’t fail to notice that he hadn’t said that his decision hadn’t been influenced by Blaine at all.  
“I’m ready to go.” Rachel stood up from sofa and joined Blaine who appeared at the door.  
“You sure you’ll be okay?” She asked Kurt one last time.  
“Yeah. I’m sure.” Kurt shot her what he believed was a reassuring smile.  
“Blaine?” Kurt’s timid voice made Blaine turn back from the door.  
“Yeah?”  
“Would you come with Rachel after work?”  
“If you want me to…”  
“I don’t want to bother you…”  
“I’ll be here.”  
“Thank you.”


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine didn’t know what to think about Kurt’s post break up behaviour. Except the day it had happened he never cried. He never talked about it and it seemed like his life was just going on as before. A month passed and there wasn’t a single reference to Adam or anything related to him. They continued to hang out, going to H&C House and sometimes Blaine joined the guys for beer, which was another huge step for him, but he did it mostly because of Kurt. He was waiting for some kind of melt down and when that happened, he would be there for him. Blaine went as far as asking Rachel if she didn’t find it strange, but she simply told him that Kurt was very private person and it was his way of dealing with shit. Blaine accepted her explanation. He didn’t agree it was the best solution for Kurt though.

 

“So how are you holding up?” Nick asked Kurt one day when they were having lunch at Blaine’s apartment.

“I’m fine. Why?” Kurt answered, not really sure what Nick had on his mind.

“I just wanted to know...Adam dating a guy so shortly after your break up must be hard.” Nick explained, totally ignoring Blaine’s fervent head shaking and Jeff’s wide eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. He’s talking about nothing, right Nick?” Blaine interfered.

“Come on. What the hell is going on?” Blaine and Nick looked down at their plates, not saying anything else.

“Jeff? Could you please tell me? Did you see Adam with someone? How do you know he is currently dating another guy?” Jeff considered lying to him but then he changed his mind. Nick had already given away the information that should have been secret and Kurt deserved to know.

“Rachel told us…She met him the other night and he was on a date with someone.” Jeff admitted.

“Oh...I mean good for him. He is ready to settle down and get married; he has to start dating other people if he wants that to happen…” Kurt said with a fake smile and stood up. “I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

“What the fuck, Nick?!” Blaine hissed as soon as Kurt was out of earshot. “Rachel made us swear to keep it secret!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize...It just came out of my mouth…”

“Well, next time it will be useful if you think before you say something stupid! He doesn’t talk about him at all. Why the hell would you ask something like that?!”

“Blaine.” Jeff put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “He screwed up but he didn’t mean to hurt him. It was just Nick showing concern for Kurt. We know you worry about him but Kurt is a big boy. You don’t have to keep him in  the dark. Sooner or later he was going to find out anyway. And it’s probably better it was from us. Much better than running into him like Rachel did…”

“And maybe, now he knows Adam is dating again, you should ask him out.” Nick suggested.

“Yeah, right. That’s the last thing I need, to get involved with a guy who just went through break up. I’m not a rebound, Nick. And I treasure our friendship to the point where I’m not willing to jeopardize it for a fantasy.”

“At least you didn’t say there aren’t any romantic feelings involved. I call that progress.” Jeff grinned at him and Blaine froze, realizing that he hadn’t used the right wording.

“There aren’t any…” Blaine tried to correct his previous statement but his friends burst into laughter.

“What are you laughing at?” Kurt asked coming back to the room. 

“Nothing. Blaine’s nonsense. The usual thing.” Jeff clarified and Kurt nodded, taking it as an internal joke between the three of them.

“So you have a night off tomorrow, right?” Kurt changed the topic, sensing Blaine’s discomfort.

“Yeah. No Wes to argue with during intermission. What an amazing night in front of us.”

“You love Wes, Nick. Don’t try to fool us.” Kurt reminded him.

“Of course I do. It doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy my day off though. I’m pretty sure he’ll throw a fit tonight at the theatre just so we don’t get too loose tomorrow.”

“So what are your plans?”

“Probably calm night with you and Blaine here...watching movies...if you don’t mind of course.” Nick sent him a teasing wink, making Blaine roll his eyes.

“Well, I most certainly don’t but what would you guys say on going to the club? I haven’t been dancing for ages…” There was a silence suddenly by the table. Nick and Jeff were watching Blaine intently. They were planning the night together but clubbing wasn’t Blaine’s thing at all. Kurt seemed to need it though. Blaine gave a small nod to them and Nick and Jeff weren’t surprised that Blaine put Kurt first.

“That’d be great. Do you have some preferences or will you let us chose the club?” Nick responded to Kurt’s offer and the rest of lunch was spent in light banter about Nick’s and Jeff’s club stories.

 

Kurt agreed to meet Nick and Jeff in front of the club they had decided was the best for them. He looked stunning. He was aware of that but he might be a little over the top. He felt uncomfortable in his own outfit and that was probably for the first time in his life...Well, there was a period when he’d been wearing a flannel for a few days during high school, so not the first time ever but still it was uncommon for him. He heard a whistle behind him so he turned around and saw his friends standing there, clearly checking him out.

“You are the reason I might question my sexuality.” Jeff stated and wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’m going home to change.”

“Don’t you dare, Kurt.” Nick put himself in his way. “You look incredible. Come on. It’s our night out.”

“Yeah...I feel bad about abandoning Blaine. Maybe we should go to the penthouse and watch movies...”

“He is on his way, don’t worry.”

“On his way where?”

“Here he is.”

“Hi guys.” Blaine greeted them. Kurt’s heart skipped few beats at the sight of him. Blaine was dressed as a sexy little thing and Kurt had the dreams about him still fresh in his mind. He gulped and prayed he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate like throwing himself on him tonight because Blaine with his one size too small clothes that did his body a great justice and radiating smile were too tempting for his own good.

“You sure you want to go in there with us?” Kurt asked Blaine.

“Yeah…” Blaine nodded and although he was pale, he put on a brave face.

“Okay. Let’s go then. I need a shot.” Kurt ordered and couple of minutes later they were downing their first drinks.

“Holy shit; we have to bring you with us more often.” Nick proclaimed. “It was the fastest we ever got drinks. The guy just looked at you and ignored all the people waiting in the line.”

“It’s nice to know that I still can pull it off.” Kurt laughed, remembering the time when he cruised bars and clubs with his college friends.

“Let’s find a table.” Blaine suggested, not feeling comfortable in a crowd.

“Go ahead. I’ll take care of next round.” Kurt dismissed them and winked at the bartender.

“We just had one.” Blaine noted but Nick and Jeff dragged him to the direction of a free table.

“Shut up. If you came to be a pain in the ass, you should have stayed home.” Jeff told him sternly.

“I wasn’t about to leave him alone with you when he is clearly upset about Adam.”

“Jesus, he is a big boy, Blaine. He wants to get wasted tonight? Okay, let him. Or better yet- get wasted with him! That’s what a good friend would do.”  

“Then he is lucky he has you two.” Blaine said mockingly and sat down.

“You pushed yourself too far, Blaine. We are happy that you are here with us but if you want to be helpful, at least pretend you are having fun.”

“Sure.” Blaine snorted but didn’t have a chance to say more because Kurt came to them.

“Drinks will be here in a minute.” He grinned and threw himself next to Blaine.

“How much did you drink at the bar?”

“Two or three shots…” A thoughtful expression appeared on his face and Blaine knew it wasn’t a good sign. “Okay...probably four. Does it matter?”

“It does, we haven’t been here for more than…ouch!” Blaine sent a death glare to Nick who had kicked him under the table.

“So anyone want to dance?” Jeff asked and stood up, grabbing Nick’s hand. “Come on, there are some pretty girls over there.”

“Have fun, boys!” Kurt yelled after them and then put all of his attention to Blaine. “So, wanna dance?”

“I don’t dance.”

“OOOkay...what did you come here for then?”

“Someone needs to get you home safely.”

“Oh, sweetie, that’s so nice.” Kurt kissed Blaine’s cheek and put his head on Blaine’s shoulder.

“I’m going to die alone…”

“What?!”

“I pushed away the only guy that ever took an interest in me...I never thought I could be so easily replaced, you know...it’s been a month and he is already dating someone. What does it say about our relationship? If I had said yes, he would have probably changed his mind and swapped me with the perfect guy either way...do you know when the last time he took me out on a date was? Because I DON’T! He always had so much to do and no time to take me out and now suddenly he has time to date someone...It’s like being in high school all over again. They told me I wouldn’t find anyone and that no one could love me and I fought. I fought so hard to show them that they were wrong but in the end, they were right. One month after proposing, my ex-boyfriend is dating someone else. I was living a lie…”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Kurt…”

“Is that guy looking at me? Oh my god, he is!” Kurt’s head flew up from Blaine’s shoulder and Kurt fixed his gaze at the stranger by the bar. “He is checking me out. Oh my god, Blaine! Maybe I’m not a lost cause! I’m going to talk to him...Yeah, that’s what I’ll do…See you later. Maybe I’m about to meet the love of my life.”

“Sure you are…” Blaine murmured and watched Kurt approaching the weird, ugly blonde who was too tall for Blaine’s liking.

“Wow, you got stood up for that guy?” A bartender appeared by the table with drinks Kurt had ordered.

“We’re just friends…”

“Well, you could still have fun with me. My shift ends in an hour.” The man smiled at him seductively.

“I’m sorry but I’ll have to pass. There are two more morons I’m chaperoning tonight.”

“What a shame...Do you want me to bring you some water? You don’t seem to be fond of alcohol tonight…”

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.” Blaine went back to observing Kurt and he didn’t like what he saw. There were more drinks and the situation was getting out of hand. He decided to intervene and send the blond on his way when Nick and Jeff came back.

“Where are you going?”

“Getting Kurt.”

“No, no, no. Sit down, Anderson!”

“But…”

“Sit down!” Jeff forced him down. “Drink something and then go and dance with him. But don’t make a scene.”

“He is drunk! Look at him! He needs to hold onto that guy while dancing so he won’t fall down!”

“Maybe he wants to hold onto him.”

“Bullshit!”

“Blaine, it could have been you if you could loosen up a little. Don’t be so uptight. Here are five drinks. We’ll come back in a couple of minutes and I want to see at least two of them gone. Capish?” Blaine rolled his eyes but didn’t say another word. Kurt was pressed against the guy as they were dancing and Blaine was plotting how to get him away. He was vulnerable and if he ended up fucking with the guy in the bathroom tonight, he would regret it in the morning. Blaine was sure of it. The blond took Kurt’s head into his hands and something in Kurt’s expression changed. There was panic and fear in his eyes. Blaine jumped on his feet and rushed to the dancefloor. He could see how Kurt pushed the guy away after he kissed him but it didn’t stop him to trying to kiss Kurt again.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Blaine rescued a struggling Kurt from the guy’s grasp and Kurt immediately curled himself into Blaine’s side, his breathing heavy.

“What the hell do you think? He was all over me!”

“He is drunk!”

“Yeah, that makes him an easy fuck!” If Blaine weren’t holding Kurt in his arms, his fist would have collided with the blonde’s jaw.

“Get lost!” He hissed at him and led Kurt to their table. Water was already there so he let Kurt have some.

“Are you okay?”

“No.” Kurt said brokenly and a sob escaped his mouth.

“That’s it. I’m taking you home. Come on.”

“But Nick and Jeff…”

“I’ll text them that we are leaving. Don’t worry. Come on.” 

 

Blaine was enjoying his breakfast on his terrace the next morning when Kurt came down. He looked tired even though he got a whole night sleep since they had come home pretty early.

“Good morning.” Blaine greeted him and poured him some coffee. “Sit down and eat something.”

“Thanks but I’ll stick with the coffee only…” Kurt’s voice was weak and his eyes lacked the usual light.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Really, Blaine? EVERYTHING is wrong!” Blaine was taken aback by Kurt’s outburst.

“Well, I know you’re probably hungover but it’s not the end of the world, Kurt.”

“I’m not talking about hangover.”

“So enlighten me. What are you talking about?”

“My life is a mess.” Kurt started but felt offended when Blaine laughed at his statement. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. You’re little over dramatic, don’t you think? How is your life a mess? You have a pretty good life as far as I’m concerned.”

“And how would you know that? You don’t know anything…” Kurt let his last sentence linger in the air.

“I know what I see and what you’ve told me so far. That’s enough of an indication that you’re just overreacting right now.”

“The guy who wanted to marry me is already dating someone else!”

“And?”

“And? Do you have any idea how humiliating it is for me? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get over the break up after all those years for me? Do you know how pathetic I feel because it seems like I’m not lovable at all?!” Kurt yelled at him, clearly upset about lot of things but taking them on the wrong person.

“No, I don’t. Because you’ve been acting like nothing has been wrong since the break-up. Maybe if you’d told me, I would have known and I would have told you, that it’s ridiculous. What is humiliating? The fact that your EX-boyfriend is dating someone else? I mean, you dumped him in the first place. Why wouldn’t you be lovable? You’re amazing.”

“It took him a month to forget about me! Yeah, that’s really great evidence that I’m lovable. He was the first and the last guy that ever loved me. Or at least I thought he loved me...”

“Could you stop the pity party?” Blaine asked and the softness and warmth disappeared from his voice. “You’re whining about a guy you didn’t even want a month ago! You’re saying bullshit about yourself while I know that there are tons of other guys who would give EVERYTHING to be with someone like you!”

“Yeah? What kind of guy would want this?” Kurt snapped.

“A guy like me! The guy who wants to have a committed relationship with someone who is faithful and trustworthy, who wants more than just sex and fun. You don’t want to be alone? Then go out, but don’t get wasted within an hour and don’t freak out when someone tries to kiss you!”

“You don’t know a single thing about that!”

“Had I not been there, you’d have probably had a panic attack! I went there to be with you because the news about Adam hit you hard, I could see that! So don’t pull your shit on me Kurt! We both are aware of the fact that without me you would have been lost yesterday!”

“What am I supposed to do now? Praise you and the ground you’re walking on because you put yourself in danger to save me? I didn’t ask you to come! It was your own will!”

“God, I don’t care about your gratitude! I don’t need to be thanked for anything. You know, I’m just a decent man who helps his friends when they’re in need no matter how uncomfortable it might make me feel! You’re upset about Adam dating another guy? He proposed a month ago. I’m sure he will forget about anyone the moment you come back to him! Did you change your mind about your break up? Because it seems that way. Maybe you should go and find him! Tell him you still love him and he’ll take you back without batting an eye. He would be stupid if he didn’t. But don’t you dare feeling sorry for yourself and your pathetic life when you have no idea what other’s lives look like!” Kurt stood up, stunned that Blaine could scream like this. He had to admit that it was  a little scary. The expression on Blaine’s face was hard and emotions were written all over it. The veins on his neck were visible and his whole body was tense, Kurt could swear he was preparing for a big fight. Kurt - without saying a word - turned around and stepped into the apartment. Blaine followed, not completely sure that he had said everything that was bothering him.

“Where the hell are you going?!”

“You’re right. I should go.” And then there was just the sound of the elevator door closing.

“FUCK!” Blaine kicked the door since there was nothing more to do.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Wes was pissed. He was marching in front of Blaine’s dressing room, waiting for him to finally show up. Other actors, as well as the members of crew, did their best to avoid him. It was thirty minutes till the beginning of the show and one of his leads was missing.   
“Anderson!” Wes screamed as soon as he caught a glimpse of Blaine and opened the door to the room where he was about to grill Blaine alive. “Where the hell have you been? Get your ass in here!”  
“Wes, I need to get into my costume and have my make-up done. I really don’t have time for you right now.”  
“You’re late! You’ve been cutting it close this whole week! I won’t hesitate to replace you with someone else if you keep doing this! Are we clear?”  
“Jesus, Wes. It’s not like I’ve ever missed the curtain raise.”  
“Your make up was finished five minutes before the show started yesterday! You should have been prepared long before that!” Blaine just rolled his eyes. He knew he’d been a little irresponsible but he still came to the theatre with enough time for getting ready.  
“I really should go if you want me in the first scene…”  
“Get out! And think twice about whether you show up on time tomorrow!” Blaine hurried out of the room. Wes was his friend but he was also a professional and being on his bad side wasn’t the best position. No matter how good a friend he was, Wes’ threat about replacing him had to be taken seriously.  
“Do you guys know what that was about?” Rachel asked Nick and Jeff when yelling of their director halted.  
“Blaine is in the funk…and he won’t listen to us. We tried to explain why it is important to come to work on time but he doesn’t seem to care.”  
“Yeah,” Nick nodded. “I’m surprised Wes let him get on with that for so long…”  
“What happened to him? You don’t fall into funk out of nowhere…”  
“He never really fought with anybody so the fight with Kurt…”  
“Wait, what?! Fight with Kurt?” Rachel looked at them with wide eyes.  
“You didn’t know?”  
“No. I haven’t seen Kurt since you guys went to the club. He isn’t home when I wake up and when I come home from work he is already asleep. I haven’t talked to him for days!”  
“Well, they had a fight. Blaine is convinced that their friendship is over and he isn’t taking it well…”  
“Kurt and I fight on a regular basis and we never stopped being friends.”  
“They haven’t spoken since the morning after the club fiasco. Blaine snapped at him when he was complaining about how he isn’t worth anyone’s love or something similarly ridiculous because Adam is already dating another guy... ”  
“How did Kurt find out?” Rachel asked suspiciously.   
“Nick.” Jeff spilt the beans.  
“Nick!”  
“I know. It just came out okay? I didn’t mean to do any harm!”  
“I still don’t understand what happened…” Rachel was lost. There was no way Kurt would cut Blaine off his life.  
“I’ll tell the whole story...or at least, what we know…” Jeff said when Nick folded his arms on his chest in defensive manner. Nick regretted telling Kurt about Adam but what could he do about it now? Why was everybody making him feel guilty? Wasn’t his own feeling of responsibility for his friend misery enough?  
“Kurt asked us to go to the club after he found out about Adam. It was fun at first. Blaine was a little uneasy but he managed. Kurt got wasted though. And pretty quickly. He was dancing with this guy...you know, blond, handsome - although Blaine would tell you he was ugly and way too tall - and they were flirting a lot. Kurt was all over him and Blaine didn’t like it. Then the guy kissed Kurt and Kurt freaked out.”  
“Oh my god!”  
“Yeah...so Blaine took him home.”  
“Did the guy hurt him? Did he force himself on him?”  
“No, nothing happened, Blaine was there and took Kurt away. In the morning, Kurt was hung-over, obviously, and he started underestimating himself and it set Blaine off. He told Kurt that if he wants to go back to Adam, that Adam would gladly take him and that he should go and find him or something like that. Kurt left and his last words were You’re right. I should go. Blaine is afraid of rejection so he hasn’t tried to contact him and because Kurt hasn’t called him he is under the impression that Kurt is back with Adam and Blaine isn’t worth his time anymore...”  
“Everything would be alright if Blaine just asked him out. But he won’t do that.” Nick added his opinion into the conversation. “He likes him a lot but he is stubborn. He doesn’t think Kurt could like him that way.”  
“Did he tell you so?”  
“He doesn’t have to, Rach. We know him.”  
“Maybe I could be more forceful with Kurt on this matter...If Blaine won’t ask Kurt then Kurt will ask him…”  
“No. It has to be Blaine’s choice.” Nick explained to her. “He’s been through a lot when it comes to relationships and he has to be sure about it. That’s why he hasn’t dated anyone in two years...If Kurt asked him, he would say no. And he is probably back with Adam now so I guess we just have to collect the pieces and put Blaine back together again...”  
“Kurt is not dating Adam. Are you crazy?”  
“You haven’t seen him for a week. How do you know?”  
“Because if Kurt makes up his mind, he won’t change it. He broke up with him and he was sure of that decision. It hurts when someone you spent years with moves on. It doesn’t mean that you want them back though. Hasn’t something like that happened to you before?”  
“No.” Jeff shook his head.  
“Nope...never dated anyone for more than two months so we didn’t care afterwards…and Kurt could change his mind...”  
“Adam called me today and asked for two tickets for our show since it’s sold out so he could take his date to theatre tomorrow...he said the guy wants to see us but hasn’t had a chance yet…”  
“Oh…so Blaine is sad for no reason.”   
“I’ll talk to Kurt tonight. I’m going to kick his sorry ass until he apologizes. God, he can be such a diva. I’m sure the whole situation isn’t Blaine’s fault at all…”  
“Please, do. I can’t see Blaine moping any longer. He looks like a lost puppy and sometimes the sad look in his eyes almost makes me cry.” Jeff pleaded and Nick made his best imitation of Blaine’s kicked puppy expression, making Rachel laugh. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“Kurt! Kurt!” Rachel nudged her best friend. Kurt just groaned and put a pillow above his head. “Kurt! Wake up!” She didn’t stop, determined to scold him until the early hours of morning if he wouldn’t be cooperative.  
“Let me be, Rachel. Go to your room!” He threw a pillow at her but she didn’t give up. She turned the lights on, earning a few terms of abuse but Kurt finally opened his eyes.  
“What the fuck do you want, Berry?”  
“I need you to call Blaine and apologize?”  
“It’s after midnight! I’m sure he is peacefully sleeping. He is mad enough at me as it is. Why the hell would I call him now?!”  
“You can call him tomorrow, but whatever you’ve done, you have to make it right!”  
“I screwed up, Rachel. I don’t think an apology is going to fix it…”  
“Well, it’s better than letting him think you don’t want to be his friend anymore!”  
“What?!”  
“He hasn’t called you because he is afraid of rejection. He thinks you’re back with Adam so you don’t have time for him...”  
“He told you that?”  
“No. Nick and Jeff did. Blaine is miserable. Had I known what happened, I would have yelled at you a week ago…”  
“Why would he think that I’m with Adam?”  
“Because he apparently told you to go and find him and you left.”  
“I don’t remember that…” Kurt tried to recall what exactly Blaine had told him that day but all he could remember was Blaine’s response when Kurt had been questioning him what kind of guy could possibly want him. A guy like me! He could hear Blaine’s voice on repeat in his head. He couldn’t believe Blaine had been serious at the moment. But if he’d been, Kurt couldn’t comprehend if Blaine meant he would want Kurt himself or just someone with a personality similar to Kurt’s. The thought had been bothering him since he’d left Blaine’s apartment a week ago.   
“Kurt, what’s going on?” Rachel asked softly, sensing Kurt’s tension.   
“I...honestly I have no idea, Rach…” Kurt sighed and stayed silent for a while. He lay down again and made room for his best friend to join him. Rachel put her head on his chest and waited. Kurt was in distress but until he told her what was wrong, she couldn’t help him.  
“I miss him like crazy. You keep asking if I have feelings for him but I don’t know. I like being with him. I love to make him smile and I love how he makes me smile. I trust him with my life. I’ve never had a guy best friend. It’s been always girls...Our friendship can’t be compared to any other friendship I’ve ever had with a man. But on the other hand, I’ve never had a man best friend. I don’t know if those are only pure friendship feelings or if it’s something more. And I’m not able to figure it out by giving us chance in dating. I need to know before something like that happens.”  
“Why?”  
“Blaine doesn’t have a good track record in relationships and I kind of feel that he needs to be sure that he wants it. And if he ever comes to the decision that he wants us, I need to be 100 percent sure I want that to. I can’t start dating him with a let’s see where it’d go attitude...I’d be an asshole if I did that. He is too precious and I can’t lose him for an experiment...Do you understand?”  
“I think I do…”  
“I’ll apologize tomorrow. I truly thought he was mad at me and I didn’t want to make things worse.”  
“Do you want me to stay here tonight?” Kurt hugged her tighter and kissed her hair.  
“Yes. I could use some cuddles.”  
“Okay. I’ll just take quick shower and we can have sleepover.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
By the time Kurt realized that he couldn’t come up with better apology than saying I’m sorry for being a dickhead, it was far after lunch. He had two options - wait one more day and go to Blaine’s the next morning or go to the theatre. He decided for the theatre and left home before he could back off. He easily got backstage and prayed to find Blaine alone in some pre-performance ritual. Of course, the universe hated him for hurting its precious one - read Blaine - and threw a spanner in the works. Blaine was standing by the coffee machine with his co-actors, politely smiling but Kurt could see his heart wasn’t in it. Their eyes met and Kurt waved at him with an unsure smile, which was enough encouragement for Blaine to leave the group and walk to Kurt.  
“Hi.” Blaine said cautiously.   
“Hi...Can we talk?”  
“Sure…”  
“In private?”  
“We can go to my dressing room…” Blaine suggested.   
“Great.” Kurt was nervously playing with his hands, not making any eye contact with Blaine although he felt Blaine’s gaze at him. When the door behind them closed, Kurt took a deep breath to calm his nerves and gave himself an internal pep talk not to mess up things even more.  
“I came to apologize.” He started and his eyes finally found Blaine’s. “I’m sorry I yelled at you and ran away from your apartment without a reason. I’m sorry it took me so long to say I’m sorry. I thought you were mad at me and I didn’t want to make it worse…”  
“Don’t apologize. It was my fault…”  
“No, it wasn’t.”  
“Yes, it was. You were in need of a friend in a post break up situation and I snapped at you. I should have just listened to you. I’m sorry...I took my problems out on you and it wasn’t right.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I got mad because I don’t have your options. You were talking about how no one is ever gonna love you while you can have whoever you point your finger at.”  
“You can have that too, you know…”  
“No, I don’t. Well, yeah, you’re right, I probably could. But I never know whether the person is with me because of me or because of what I do…That’s why I haven’t been on a date for so long. When you get over your break up, you’ll start dating again until you find someone right for you. I need to find someone right and then go on a date with him...”  
“It’s not your fault, Blaine. I was a bitch when you were trying to help me. You went to the club for me. I never thanked you for that. I know how you feel about overcrowded places and yet I took it for granted. You don’t deserve that Blaine. Me being in a bad place after my break up doesn’t excuse my ungrateful behavior. I’m really sorry. I miss you and the kids in the glee club miss you and I just want to ask for another chance to prove that I’m a good friend even though it didn’t look like that lately…”  
“I miss you too...Can we forget about that and hug it out?” Blaine asked with a hope in his voice. Instead of an answer, Kurt wrapped his hands around Blaine’s shoulders.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“I’m so glad you’re on speaking terms again my little cupcakes.” Jeff grinned and raised his beer can as they were sitting on Blaine’s terrace later that night.   
“You’re a goof.” Kurt laughed but raised his can as well.  
“So...what have you been up to this week?” Nick asked Kurt, partially because he needed to know that Kurt really wasn’t dating Adam and partially because he was a curious friend.  
“Nothing. I was wandering in the city since hanging out with you guys was out of options…”  
“It wasn’t. You two were just being difficult.” Nick accused them but Kurt and Blaine only shrugged their shoulders in response. They let the topic of not speaking to each other behind them and the night was filled with joy and laughter. Blaine got sleepy after few hours and he put his head on Kurt’s lap somehow, none of them really realizing what they were doing. Kurt immediately started to stroke his hair, effectively lulling him to sleep while continuing in the conversation with Nick and Jeff. Those two were smirking at how oblivious their friends were but they refrained from any comments for now. As the night was slowly turning into morning and sun started to rise upon The Central Park, tired Kurt caressed Blaine’s cheek softly in attempt to wake him up.   
“Blaine, wake up. Let’s get you to bed.” He said sweetly. “Blaine, baby, wake up.” He kept rocking him a little, trying not to bring Blaine into consciousness too sharply. The astonishment that Nick and Jeff watched him with was probably the biggest they’d ever experienced. Kurt seemed to completely forget about them as his only concern was to make Blaine get up without causing him too much stress. He actually managed to do that after while and sleepy Blaine looked at him with eyes only half open.  
“Let’s go to bed, sweetie, okay?” He whispered and Blaine obediently stood up with a blanket around his shoulder. He grabbed Kurt’s hand and wrapped the blanket around them both, leading them into the apartment without sparing their friends a single glance.  
“Did they just...?” Jeff pointed finger at the terrace door where Blaine disappeared with Kurt a second ago.  
“We got stood up.” Nick confirmed. “They totally forgot about us.”  
“So are we crashing here or are we going home?” Jeff asked his best friend, not sure what the hell they were supposed to do now.  
“Well, we can stay and teased them endlessly at the breakfast table…” Nick proposed but he changed his mind then. “We should go home and let them figure things out on their own.”  
“You are aware it’s going to take weeks till they realize they are in love with each other.”  
“Frankly, as long as they realize that, I don’t care how much time it will take, my friend.”


	10. Chapter 10

Nick and Jeff didn’t say anything about what they had witnessed that night on Blaine’s terrace. Giving Kurt and Blaine weird looks and watching them when they thought they couldn’t see them, and doing it the not so subtle way, seeded suspicion though. Two weeks into that nonsense and Kurt had enough. They were having coffee in the coffee shop opposite of H&C House, Kurt sitting next to Blaine. Nick and Jeff observed them intently as they were sharing Blaine’s muffin, not even trying to hide their staring. Blaine ignored it but Kurt wanted to know what was going on so when Blaine’s phone started to ring and he excused himself from the table, Kurt bored his eyes into two idiots in front of him.  
“What?!” He barked at them.   
“Nothing.” Nick said, feigning innocence but Kurt wasn’t buying it.  
“Sure. That’s why you’ve been acting like watchdogs, right?”   
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Kurt.” Jeff answered with seriousness in his face.  
“Stop spying on us! It’s creepy.”   
“We’re not spying on you.” Nick mocked offence so well that Kurt almost believed him. Almost.  
“So why did you follow us yesterday when we left the theatre? You were hiding behind the tree so we couldn’t see you! And last Friday, when you showed up in the same diner we were having dinner at? When you told us that you were going to club?”   
“You saw us?” Nick asked before he could stop himself and his ankle was immediately attacked by Jeff’s foot. “Ouch! What are you doing?” He hissed at his best friend. That hurt!  
“Shut up, Nick!” Jeff hissed back and kicked him once more just in case Nick had forgotten to keep his tongue in his mouth again.  
“Spill it or I’m gonna…”  
“Sorry guys. It was my manager. The recording company needs to set the date.” Blaine slipped down next to Kurt, putting his phone on the table. “What are you talking about?”  
“Nothing.” Nick and Jeff chirped, making Kurt roll his eyes.  
“When do you start recording?” Jeff quickly changed the topic.  
“At the beginning of September. I’m taking two weeks off after we finish the show in August and then I’ll lock myself in studio for a few weeks. We’d like to have the album out by the end of the year.”  
“I’m sorry you’re leaving the show…” Nick said. “It won’t be the same without you.”  
“I’m sorry too.” Blaine admitted sadly. “I didn’t know they’ll give us another six months run from December. I’ll be promoting the album then…Can’t do both. But I’m happy the show is such a big hit.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine agreed on having dinner with Kurt in his and Rachel’s apartment. It was one of his nights off and he was looking forward to having a lovely time with Kurt. They were planning on watching some movies and Blaine couldn’t wait. He hadn’t heard from Kurt since that morning, but assumed that his friend probably had a lot of work, so he didn’t bother him with tons of texts that they usually exchanged during the day.  
He had two bottles of wine from his vinotéque with him. Kurt had forbid him from taking more because - We’re not getting wasted, Anderson! Two bottles and that’s it. Bring more and I won’t let you in! Blaine didn’t really think Kurt would keep his threat but he didn’t dare to risk it. He knocked on the door and waited for Kurt to open it with a big smile.   
“Hi.” Blaine breathed as soon as Kurt appeared at the door and his smile grew even bigger.  
“Hi.” Kurt stepped away from the door so Blaine could come in. His demeanour was cold. There was sadness in his eyes and Blaine’s mood dropped down in an instant.  
“What’s wrong?” He asked warily, looking at Kurt who was leaning against the wall with his arms folded.  
“Why don’t YOU tell me, Blaine?”   
“Did I do something?” Blaine carefully put the bottles on a shoe cabinet and turned to face Kurt fully.  
“I don’t like when people go behind my back, Blaine. You know that better than anyone.”  
“I don’t underst...Oh…Kurt, I can explain.” The panic set on Blaine’s face. He wanted to tell Kurt. He really wanted to tell him tonight. Fuck!  
“I’m listening. I’m very curious about that, actually. There was a one thing I told you I don’t want you to do and you did exactly that…”   
“Can we sit down, please?” Blaine asked, getting a nod from Kurt who walked to the armchair and made himself comfortable in it. There was a difficult task laying in front of Blaine. Kurt put the walls up and distanced himself from him. He never did that. They always sat together on the couch, no matter what.  
“Kurt, I wanted to tell you…”   
“Well, you didn’t.”  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you found out from someone else…”  
“Why? Why the hell would you do that without telling me first?”  
“It wasn’t my idea…”  
“It’s a house, Blaine! It’s a fucking house in Brooklyn for God’s sake! It’s not a donation for musical equipment or canvases!”  
“I know, okay? I know…”  
“I didn’t bring you to my kids to get money from you! Why did you need to buy a house?!”  
“Kurt, I didn’t want to buy a house…well, at least not at first. I was talking to my parents about the organisation and then a few days later they came up with the idea of expanding their services into other parts of the city. My mom called the founder...what’s her name? Julia? And she said there wasn’t a problem with volunteers, H&C has a lot of those but they don’t have much space. So my dad made an investment in the name of his company and since I wanted to be a part of it as well, I put some money into it too. As did my brother, Nick, Jeff and about half of the Warblers…”  
“Half of the Warblers?!”  
“Well, if I’m to be honest, everyone who knows about it…”  
“Jesus, Blaine!”  
“Kurt, it didn’t cost so much. I swear. Ninety per cent of the payment went from a company account. The money me and my friends got together covered the remaining ten per cent and furniture…”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I was afraid…” Blaine said in a small voice, resembling a little child and Kurt found it unfair. How was he supposed to stay mad when Blaine looked like he would start crying if Kurt didn’t forgive him? “I didn’t know how to tell you and Nick and Jeff ordered me to wait till the house is legally property of H&C, so you couldn’t stop us…”  
“Oh, god…” Kurt sighed.  
“Why are you against our help?”  
“I’m not against the help per se, Blaine. It’s just that people used you for your money in the past and I didn’t want you to think that I’m like them…I don’t care whether you are a millionaire or unemployed and penniless.”  
“I know that, Kurt. And even if you asked me for money in this case, it wouldn’t be for you. There is no way you’re the one using me for your own behalf. I would never think that about you, Kurt.”  
“I’d really appreciate if you told me about buying a house for the organization I work for in the future…” Blaine giggled and nodded.  
“Okay. Next time I buy a house, you’ll be the first to know. But, technically, I didn’t buy it. My dad did.”  
“Your dad wouldn’t even know about H&C if it weren’t for you. You are guilty as charged, Anderson. Now, let’s go eat. We have tacos.”  
“You made tacos?” Blaine beamed. “You were pissed with me and still made me tacos? You’re the bestest friend ever!”   
“When you act like this I have the urge to send you to wash your hands before dinner and give you a bib.” Blaine stuck his tongue out at him, underlying Kurt’s words. They burst into laughter and Kurt smacked the back of Blaine’s head.  
“Come on, you goober.” He forced him into the direction of the bathroom. “Wash your hands and come to the kitchen.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“Our friends are strange…” Blaine told Kurt one day as they were enjoying nice summer weather on the roof of Kurt’s apartment building after lunch. Kurt hummed, squinting his eyes and letting the sunbeams spray his face. There would be even more freckles he hated so much after this sunbath but he didn’t really care. Today, he didn’t care about anything. He was done with caring.   
“You know, it started like a month ago...after our fight. Nick and Jeff have been sending me weird looks since then...Lately it is Rachel as well...haven’t you noticed something? ...Kurt? ...Kurt? ...Kurt?! Hey!” Blaine raised himself on his elbows and glared at his friend. Kurt was peacefully laying next to him, apparently deep in his own thoughts. There was a frown spoiling his beautiful face, but Blaine wasn’t sure whether it was because of the sun that was shining so much one had to keep their eyes closed pretty hard, or it was worries written there.  
“Kurt? Everything okay?” Kurt was pulled out of his current world and he turned his head to look at Blaine.  
“Yeah, yeah...of course.”  
“You weren’t listening to me…”  
“Sorry...I’m not good company today.”  
“What happened?”  
“My article got rejected...like for the thousandth time in row so…” Kurt shrugged it off and didn’t say anymore, however Blaine could see how tense he suddenly became so he decided to press a little further.  
“Tell me about it.”  
“You don’t want to hear that…”  
“I do. Tell me, Kurt. Please.”  
Kurt turned from his back to his stomach and rested his head on his arms. Blaine did the same. It was easier to maintain the eye contact and let’s be honest - the two of them loved their eye contact.  
“In one of the courses I took at college we had an assignment. It was for journalism research. We had to do research the way they taught us during semester and then made a report on that research. It was a lot of fun for me. I chose bullying as a topic and I made some interviews with people from campus that I knew were either bullied or bullies at high school. I also put a psychological point of view into it by interviewing a few psychology majors. My professor liked it. I got an A+ and he suggested to go deeper into the topic. He said that maybe I should make bullying the main topic and write several reports under it. For example one report for kids that were bullied because of their sexual orientation, one for those who were bullied for their looks and so on...I was working on it for over a year. It’s pretty good. I’m hard on myself but I know the articles are good. I edited them until I was satisfied and you know I’m never satisfied…I had lots of interviews with people. I talked to people who were bullied as well as those who were bullies, I talked to parents and friends of those people. I talked to psychologist and counsellors and therapist...I spoke to principals of schools and teachers and members of school boards. I even made a tumblr blog because that’s where you can find teenagers these days...Each article has a message and advice on what to do in situation like that...I wanted to publish them as a series of articles in one of big newspapers in the country so it could be read by lot of people. I’ve been trying to get them published since the beginning of the year. New York Times, Daily News, Washington Post, Chicago Tribute, L.A. Times, The Boston Globe...Then I decided to go for smaller ones, just so it could be published. No one wants to take it as a whole. They want me to chose two or three of them because they don’t have space for printing articles about bullying for several weeks...I can either take their conditions or forget about publishing it…”  
“You don’t want to choose from them…” Blaine remarked.  
“No. I don’t. They are equal. I can’t say this is more important issue than this one…”  
“So forget about newspapers...Publish it online.” Blaine told him. “You already have a blog. Make a web page for it or something…”  
“I don’t want to publish it online. The purpose was to bring bullying into people’s mind subconsciously. Internet is full of information about bullying. Whoever wants to find them can find them. But I kind of wanted people who wouldn’t search for the information to have some information...Do you understand?”  
“I’m trying…” Blaine answered honestly. Kurt had the concept in his head but was struggling with how to explain it to Blaine. He lived for this project for almost two years and now it was over.  
“Well, I was one of those kids. My junior year of high school was a nightmare but I wouldn’t ask for help. There are many children who won’t say a word. It’s on others to realize something is going on. Imagine grandma or grandpa. They know something is up with their beloved granddaughter but the kid has her mouth sealed. Maybe if they read my article, they would know how to talk to her. They would know the bullying could be the reason for her strange behaviour...I doubt that grandparents surf the internet for bullying if they don’t know there is any...I had this vision of educating people who don’t want to be educated intentionally.”  
“What about publishing a book?”  
“Blaine, they don’t want more than three articles in newspapers, why would someone publish a whole book? And it would be the same as a web page...just for people who want to know more about the matter...”  
“You can give it a proper title that would insinuate how to help teenagers with their problems. You don’t have to say it’s about bullying on the cover…”  
“Yeah, but it’s not a story...it’s series of articles…”  
“And? So it would be different from any other book. That’s a good thing…” Kurt started to be annoyed by this time. Did Blaine have the answer for everything?  
“I’m not sure I could handle the disappointment if no one wants to publish it again…”  
“Then you can self-publish it…”  
“It’s pretty expensive choice with printed books. I don’t have so much money if I don’t want to spend all my savings…”  
“I do.”  
“Blaine.” Kurt said firmly, his gaze strict, leaving no room for negotiation but Blaine wasn’t about to give in to him.  
“Why not? Take it as my investment into your career...You can pay me back when you sell the books.”  
“There is a possibility that they won’t sell well and I wouldn’t have money to pay you back.”  
“Of course it would sell well...Why do you have to be so difficult?”  
“I’m not taking your money so I could publish a book with the articles that no one has taken interest in so far.”  
“Okay.” Blaine gave up for the time being but if he had to, he wouldn’t hesitate to bring the topic up again in the future. “At least think about making it into a book and send it to the publishers.”  
“I promise to think about it...You have way too much faith in me.”  
“It’s because you’re amazing, Kurt Hummel. It’s not a faith. It’s common sense.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“I can’t believe we have one week left and that’s it.” Rachel mused, slowly drinking her wine that Blaine had chosen from his collection just for her. There was a party at his apartment. The whole cast and the crew were hanging out in the penthouse and it reminded Kurt how he had met Blaine and the guys almost five months ago.   
“Don’t be sad.” Nick patted her knee. “We start in December again.”  
“Yeah, but it won’t be the same. Not everybody is coming back...I’m going to get a new stage partner…Blaine was kind of perfect. He let me shine. What if another guy is an attention whore? The stage only has room just for one. I’m not giving up on that title.”  
“Wes wants me to do it…” Rachel squealed. Then she throw herself around Nick’s neck and begged him to take the part.  
“Okay. I need a fresh air.” Kurt stated and went outside. He was mostly silent during the evening. He felt comfortable amongst these people but he was still an outsider. He wasn’t a part of the show and this was an unofficial goodbye party for it. He probably shouldn’t be there.  
“Are you okay?” Blaine showed up next to him as he was enjoying the view of the city.  
“Yeah…”  
“You’re quiet tonight.”  
“There are lot of people that have something to say…” Kurt said with a soft smile. “It’s not important for me to talk.”  
“I like to hear you speak, though.”   
“Thank you but this party is yours. You’re all melancholic because the show is ending. You should enjoy your time with your friends...”  
“You are my friend. I want to enjoy my time with you.”  
“You know what I mean Blaine. I’ll be there after the show but the opportunity to hang out with so many of your high school friends won’t come again so soon.”  
“Maybe...I still want to talk to you.” Blaine smirked and sat down on the loveseat he had on his terrace. “Come here.” He motioned Kurt to join him and Kurt did so.  
“There is something on your mind…What’s bothering you?” Damn Blaine and his observing skills. Kurt thought of changing the topic but sooner or later Blaine would make him confess either way.  
“I edited those articles a little...sent it to a publisher this morning.”  
“Oh my god!” Blaine’s face lit up and his smile was so big that Kurt was afraid he would get cramp. “I’m so glad you did that! Why didn’t you tell me you were working on it?”  
“I only made up my mind this morning. I didn’t know if I’d actually send it for sure.”  
“It’ll be brilliant. Someone will certainly appreciate your talent and you’ll be amongst the bestselling authors in no time.” Kurt laughed. He couldn’t understand how Blaine was so positive all the time when it came to others but at the same time managed to underestimate his own person.  
“You haven’t even read it, Blaine. Maybe it sucks…”  
“It doesn’t! I’ll read it when it comes out. I’ll go buy it to a bookshop - an actual bookshop. I won’t order it online and I will bring my copy to you so you could sign it.”  
“Thank you.”  
“For what?”  
“For support. It’s nice to know someone believes in me when I’m not so sure about myself.”  
“You do the same for me, Kurt. It’s what comes with a friend title, isn’t it? Look where I am now. Going out, dancing in the clubs…if it wasn’t for you, I’d be the same old lonely Blaine I was a few months ago. There is a long way to go until I conquer all my fears but I’m doing well. Right?”  
“Right. I like how you flaunt dancing in the clubs…” Kurt nagged him.  
“Hey! I’ve been to a club three times already!”  
“I didn’t say you haven’t. But the first time you didn’t dance and we left one hour after we came since I was drunk as hell and the other two times were during one night because we had to change the establishment after Jeff started flirting with the owner’s fifteen year old daughter.”  
“She shouldn’t have been there. Jeff was right. How was he supposed to know she is under twenty one? You saw the guys at the door. No one could slip through them with a fake ID.”  
“Don’t try to change the topic, Blaine. It’s been two nights you were at the club. You have some catching up to do on dancing…”  
“When the show is over we can go somewhere...preferably to a club where the owner doesn’t have a teenage daughter. I have two weeks until recording starts so we can do something...wild or...crazy...or whatever they call it. I should probably increase my vocabulary on the night life...or street life? Whatever!” He threw his hands into the air and Kurt let it ride because Blaine had made progress so teasing wasn’t necessary. Although there was a plan for an urbanian Lets teach Blaine a protocol of clubbing dictionary that he was going to work on tomorrow. He giggled for himself and Blaine pouted, making him snicker even more.  
“So will you help a poor friend and go dancing with him, Kurt?”  
“Of course I will but you’ll have to wait until I come back from Ohio.”  
“You’re going to Ohio?”  
“My stepmom has a birthday at the end of the month. I stay for your official goodbye party - we can get wasted there if you want - then I sleep it off and next day I’m taking my baby on the road. I’m really looking forward to going home for a week.”  
“I haven’t been home for over three years…”  
“Do you miss it?” Kurt asked. He couldn’t imagine not going home for more than six months.  
“Not so much. My parents are in Europe and brother in L.A. I see them several times a year, just not in Ohio...but we still keep the house we used to live in in Westerville. I’d like to see it again.”  
“So come with me.”  
“What?”  
“Come with me. You are free from work so why not? My parents will love it. They say that since me and my brother left, the house is too empty. We always had someone over during high school. We can go for a trip to Westerville for one day or you can spend some time there alone if you want…”  
“I don’t know, Kurt. I’d love to go there for a day but I don’t want to impose on your family time.”  
“Nonsense. You won’t impose, are you crazy? Come on, Blaine. It’ll be fun. Road trip across the US.”  
“Across the US?”  
“Ok, so through a few states for ten hours...or less...or more depending on traffic. But it’ll be fun! Fun, fun, fun! We can sing in the car and we can take a break whenever we see something interesting. We can find a crazy looking diner to eat at or we can buy a sandwich at a gas station and eat it on the hood of my car...we can...”  
“Okay, okay. I’ll go with you.”  
“Yay!” Kurt clapped his hands and kissed his cheek sloppily the moment Nick, Jeff and Rachel decided to join them at the terrace. “I love you. I need to find my phone to start taking notes on our trip.” Kurt jumped to his feet, running past his stunned friends, not paying any attention to them.  
“He loves you?” Nick asked with a raised eyebrow.  
“Apparently.” Blaine shrugged his shoulders and stood up like nothing unusual happened even though his heart was beating like crazy. He mingled inside, purposely ignoring the gaping of his friends through the window.  
“I think it’s time for taking bets.” Jeff announced.  
“One month.” Rachel voted.  
“At most.” Nick added.


	11. Chapter 11

“Is there a reason you are jumping on my bed at five in the morning?” Blaine groaned and glared at clearly zealous Kurt.  
“Come on, get up! Get up! Get up! Get up! I have coffee and bagels.” Kurt grinned at him and Blaine rolled on his other side.  
“Five more minutes, Kurt.”  
“No. I want to leave at six.” Blaine didn’t respond to that so Kurt sneaked closer to him and let his fingers run up and down Blaine’s arm.  
“Kuuuurt.”   
“Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaine.”   
“Stop it. It tickles.” Blaine complained gruffly.  
“Wake up and I’ll stop.”  
“I AM up. Thanks to you.”  
“I know, I’m a sweetheart.” Kurt teased him, his fingers stopped their movement and he rested his hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “You can sleep in the car, okay?” Blaine yawned and nodded.  
“Okay.” He sat up, trying to smile at his enthusiastic friend but it came out as a grimace that made Kurt laugh.  
“I left your clothes on a chair.” Kurt told him and got out of bed. “I’ll be waiting downstairs with coffee and bagels that I promised.” Blaine’s eyes fell down on a chair and sleep was taken from him in an instant.  
“Wait!” Kurt turned around at the door, looking startled at his friend.  
”What’s up? You don’t have to yell at me. I can hear you.”  
“Those jeans have holes…” Blaine pointed his finger on a piece of clothing that he was supposed to wear according to Kurt.  
“Yeah.”  
“And I can tell from here that the T-shirt is like two size bigger than what I wear usually.”  
“I know, Blaine. I chose them.”  
“I don’t wear clothes like those.” Blaine stood up to inspect the content on the chair. “A cap? North-eastern University? Where did you get that anyway? You want me to put that on my head?”  
“That’s where a cap usually goes…And my brother gave it to me. He majored in Special Education there...”  
“What’s this Kurt? I’m capable of dressing myself on my own. Those clothes are just ridiculous.”   
“They are. It’s something you would never wear. And that’s exactly my point. Why do you have to be so difficult?”  
“I’m not wearing them.”  
“Yes, you are.”  
“Why?”  
“Because this way no one would suspect you to be you.”  
“What?!”  
“We’re travelling in the car. We will stop several times on our way for one reason or another and I don’t want you to worry about someone recognizing you. If you wear these, people will just assume you are probably a North-eastern university student who looks like Blaine Anderson. I just...I want you to enjoy the trip, okay? If those clothes repulse you so much, you don’t have to put them on. Now take a shower.” Kurt left the room without sparing him another glance. Blaine took a long shower and didn’t come down to the kitchen until he was sure he was fully awake. He was afraid that he had offended Kurt a little and he was genuinely sorry for that.  
“Coffee smells good.” Blaine said as soon as he saw Kurt sitting by the table. Kurt raised his eyes from the phone screen and checked Blaine out.  
“You don’t have to wear those just to make me happy.”  
“I actually thought about what you told me and you have a point. Thank you for preparing them for me...A little warning ahead would have been nice though.”  
“I’m sorry I haven’t told you that I was planning to turn you into someone else.”  
“I appreciate the effort. These clothes are pretty comfortable.”  
“I’m glad. Now eat so we can get going.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine didn’t sleep on their way to Ohio at all. They turned the radio on and sang to the songs or talked. They made many stops. The first one was just an hour into their journey because Blaine had to pee and Kurt teased him about being like a little child for the next thirty minutes. Then they stopped at the gas station not because of refilling but because a strand of Kurt’s hair fell down - I have no idea how this could happen! I used so much hair spray that the ozone hole was created right above my head! - so he needed to fix it ASAP. It gave Blaine the occasion for baiting and they made a truce on their third stop that took place at a side of the road while they were eating sandwiches Kurt had prepared for them.  
“I’m driving now.” Blaine announced and stole Kurt’s keys.  
“You can’t drive!”  
“Why not? We’re half way there. It’s my turn.”  
“I don’t trust you with my baby.”  
“Sucks for you.” Blaine smirked and sat behind the steering wheel. He opened the passenger’s door from the inside and waited for Kurt to join him in the car.  
“If something happens to my car I won’t hesitate to strangle you!” Kurt threatened but slid to the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt.  
“Okay. Let’s go…” Blaine put the keys into ignition and moved the vehicles, jumping on the break straight away. “Ooops...sorry about that.” He laughed as Kurt was giving him a death glare.  
“That’s not funny Anderson!”   
“Don’t worry. I know how to drive safely...You’re attached to this piece of metal too much.”  
“My father is a mechanic. Of course I’m attached to my car. I was raised that way.”  
“Relax. I’m going to get us and your precious baby to Lima in one piece. I promise.”  
Kurt wasn’t fully convinced but he refrained from comment. In fact, he stayed quiet for the next twenty minutes and Blaine wondered what the matter was.   
“I need you to stop when you see a gas station.” Kurt spoke for the first time since they took the road after their last break.  
“What?! Why?”  
“I need to pee.”  
“No, you don’t! You just want to drive the car!”  
“Blaine, don’t be ridiculous. I have to use a bathroom. You can keep the keys and drive to Lima, just let me empty my bladder.” Blaine shot him a sideway glance, afraid of turning his head to the right so he wouldn’t give Kurt any reason for thinking that Blaine was an incompetent driver. Kurt was tense. He was playing with his fingers nervously, stomping his left foot quickly which, in addition, made Blaine even more nervous.   
“Okay. Here we are.” Blaine said when he pulled out in the parking space at the gas station. Kurt left the car in a hurry, not even looking at Blaine as he was opening his door and jumping down from the vehicle. Blaine supposed Kurt would come back in his good mood. He missed his funny and relaxed side the last half an hour. He rested his back against the car door and watched a little girl skipping around the parking lot with a popsicle in her mouth. The idea popped up in his mind and that’s how Kurt found him sitting on the hoodie of his car with two ice lollies.  
“What are you doing?”  
“I’m about to have a treat. Hop up. I’ll give you one too.”  
“Give me my keys. I’ll bring a blanket from the car. I’m not sitting in dust.”  
“No can do. The keys are mine. Come on. If I can sit here, you can as well.”  
“You are not wearing designer clothes, Blaine.”  
“And it’s all your fault. Don’t argue with me. It’s going to melt if we don’t eat it quickly.” Blaine did a great job on his puppy dog eyes and Kurt joined him, still stiff and little uneasy. Blaine felt like he couldn’t win. No matter what he did, Kurt wasn’t being himself and it was getting on Blaine’s nerves. The trip was supposed to be fun, wasn’t it? He was actually thinking about giving the car keys to Kurt when Kurt finally spoke.  
“Did I push you too much today?”  
“What?”  
“With the clothes and the whole let’s go to Ohio by car and let’s pretend you’re not yourself thing…”  
“I don’t understand…” Kurt turned his head to face him, taking a bite from his ice lolly before speaking again.  
“I wanted you to have fun. That’s why I forced you to be dressed the way you are dressed so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. I wanted you to relax…”  
“Kurt, I was having fun until YOU stop having fun. What’s wrong?”  
“Why did you want to drive?”  
“Because I like driving and I don’t get to do that often since I hate the New York traffic. And because you were driving for over five hours. I couldn’t let you drive the whole way to Ohio…”  
“So it wasn’t because you were bored and needed something to do?” Kurt asked tentatively.  
“Of course not! Where is this coming from, Kurt?” Kurt shrugged his shoulders and broke the eye contact.  
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t give you a choice and you are too nice to tell me you don’t want to do it…”  
“That’s not true. Kurt, look at me.” Kurt hesitantly did so. Blaine was softly smiling at him and he naturally smiled back.  
“I know how to say no. If I don’t want to do something, I won’t do it. And yes, I’ve done lot of things I wouldn’t have done a few months ago for you but I can assure you I haven’t felt forced to do them. I trust you, Kurt. I know you wouldn’t do anything that could hurt me. You always make sure I am comfortable. Like with these clothes so people wouldn’t bother me on our way...Everything is fine. I’m happy I got out of the city for a few days. And what’s most important is that I’m glad I’m taking this trip with you. So stop worrying.”  
“I’m glad you are taking it with me…”  
“Great. So let’s hit the road again. Do you want to drive?”  
“No. I trust you with my car…”  
“Which basically means you trust me with your life, right?”  
“Yeah, that as well.”   
“Nice to know.” Blaine grinned and continued to lick on his half melted ice lolly.  
“What about you?” Kurt inquired.  
“What about me?”  
“Do you trust me with your life?” Kurt’s question had a bit of teasing hidden in it but Blaine gave him a serious look.  
“I do. I really do.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“This is a nice neighbourhood.” Blaine noted as they were passing street with a line of houses on each side.  
“Yeah, it is. Go to the end and then turn left.” Kurt gave him the direction while looking out of the window.  
“Okay.”  
“You know, I left Lima as soon as I could because I couldn’t imagine staying here after so many horrible things that happened to me that I forgot to appreciate the beauty of small town living. I like coming back because all those bad things don’t matter anymore and I can enjoy everything I wasn’t able to in the past…”  
“Will you ever tell me your whole story?” Blaine asked him.  
“Will YOU ever tell me your whole story?” Kurt answered by question.  
“I don’t know.” Blaine admitted hazily.  
“Me neither.”  
“It’s not because I don’t want to. But it’s really hard to talk about. Even Nick and Jeff don’t know the details…”  
“I understand, Blaine. When you are ready, you’ll tell me. The same goes for me, okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“The big white house on the left.” Kurt navigated him again and Blaine parked the car in front of a nice house with a big tree and a hedge that apparently belonged to Kurt’s parents.  
“Wow...It’s amazing. Did you have a swing on the tree when you were a kid? Or a tree house?”  
“No. We moved in here when I was sixteen after my dad married Carol. I grew up in a different house nearby. It was much smaller but I did have a swing there. And a slide with a little sandbox in the garden. Not a tree house, though. I was afraid of heights…”  
“Thank you for bringing me here.”  
“Thank you for coming with me.”  
“I think your dad can’t wait to see you.” Blaine motioned to the direction of a house entrance where Burt Hummel was hastily putting his shoes on. Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt and quickly opened the door so he could run to his father. They met halfway and two men embraced, laughing.  
“Dad! I missed you so much!”  
“I missed you too, son. So good to have you home.” Blaine smiled at the scene and opened the trunk, taking their bags.  
“Come on, dad. I want you to meet Blaine.” Kurt pulled on Burt’s shirt and led him to Blaine who was still standing by the car.  
“Nice to meet you, sir.” Blaine outstretched his hand and Burt took it, shaking it firmly.  
“Nice to meet you too, Blaine. And none of this “sir” or “Mr Hummel”, okay? I’m Burt.”  
“Okay. Let’s go inside. I can’t wait to see Carol.” Kurt ushered them to the house. Blaine was a little nervous because Burt was giving him strange glances and he couldn’t tell if it was a good or a bad thing. He fixed his gaze on Kurt’s back, trying to act nonchalant but he knew he probably failed miserably. It meant a lot for him that Kurt introduced him to his family and he didn’t want to disappoint him. He just had to make Kurt’s parents and brother like him. He was a likeable guy or so they told him, there shouldn’t be a problem in getting on their good side. He would be a perfect gentleman and everything would be fine. Right?  
He survived saying hello to Kurt’s stepmom and he liked the woman immediately. There was a positive energy glowing around her and if he didn’t know she actually wasn’t Kurt’s mom, he would think she must be just from how nice and gentle she was being.  
“Blaine, I’m so sorry I don’t have a room for you.” Carol told him after a pleasant welcome he got.  
“What do you mean?” Kurt asked in surprise.   
“We were babysitting our next door neighbours, the girls....”  
“Dad! What have you done?” Burt looked offended at Kurt’s accusing tone and Blaine found it amusing.  
“Nothing. We were playing and then they came up with the idea of a trampoline. So I let them jump on the bed in the guest room…the bed broke.”  
“Dad, those girls are four and six. How the hell did they manage to break a bed?”  
“Tell him.” Carol ordered.  
“I might have joined them…” Burt murmured but loud enough for Kurt to hear.  
“You’re kidding, right?”  
“No, he is not.” Carol confirmed Burt’s words and Kurt started to laugh.  
“Oh my god! This is hilarious!”  
“We went to buy a new one but your dad is still waiting for some components for his van so he could fix it and we didn’t have a car to bring it home. The shop can deliver it next week…I was thinking that maybe you or Finn could sleep on a couch for a few days until...”  
“Don’t worry about it. My bed is big enough for the both of us. Blaine will sleep with me.” Kurt sent her a smile and went upstairs.  
“Blaine, you wouldn’t mind?” Carol asked precariously.  
“No, not at all. It’s not like we’ve never slept together.” Blaine revealed without thinking, fully catching up on what he had said when he saw surprised faces of Kurt’s parents. “That came out wrong.” He tried to save the situation in an instant. “What I meant is that…”  
“Blaine? Are you coming?” Kurt yelled from upstairs. “I need to shower but I have to show you around first. Come on. You can talk to them at dinner.”  
“Go on, son. We really don’t need an explanation.” Blaine blushed and nodded, running the stairs to get to Kurt who was the only safe place for him right now.  
Kurt ordered Blaine to shower in a bathroom he shared with his brother and he used the one downstairs. He thought it might help Blaine to ease a little. Kurt noticed that Blaine was strained since they had arrived and Kurt had every intention to make him feel at home. They agreed to meet in the living room after freshening up and Kurt was sitting there for almost fifteen minutes already with no sign of Blaine at all.  
“So…” Burt sat down next to him. “You and Blaine?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you together or...?”  
“No. Trust me, you would be amongst the first people to know that I have a new boyfriend. We’re just friends…”  
“Friends who sleep together?”   
“What?”   
“Blaine kind of blurted out that it won’t be the first time for you sleeping together tonight…”  
“Because it won’t be.”  
“So you two aren’t dating. You just have casual sex.” Kurt looked at his father shocked. What the hell was the man talking about?  
“Are you serious right now?”   
“I believe I am.” Burt stated solemnly.  
“I’ve never had sex with Blaine! He is my best friend. Why would I try to destroy it for casual sex?”  
“But…”  
“We slept together in one bed several times but fully clothed. In a loft. Do you remember how I told you about it? There is just one bed and when we stay the night, we share it. Oh my god, dad! I can’t believe you would think that.”  
“I’m sorry. You’ve been constantly talking about him since you met him. You look at him like he is the one who hung the moon. How should I know it’s all innocent?”  
“Because you’re the one who gave me the “you matter” speech!”  
“So there is nothing going on?”  
“No, there is nothing going on.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes, I am.”  
“Okay.” Burt said, not being completely convinced that his son was saying the truth. The blind could tell Kurt was in love. Either he didn’t know it yet or there was something else restraining him from going after the curly haired man. Burt was uttering a question that wouldn’t offend Kurt but still give him an answer to his dilemma when Blaine walked into the room. The man’s clothes looked like they were cut out of one of Kurt’s fashion magazines, completely different from those he had come earlier and Burt couldn’t help but stare at him.  
“Blaine, you didn’t have to dress up. We are staying home for dinner.” Kurt told him, taking in his appearance.  
“I know.”  
“So why didn’t you put your sweatpants and hoodie on?” Blaine didn’t feel well under scrutinizing glares of father and son and he bit his lips nervously.  
“I’m going to fetch some beer. Do you boys want something?” Burt stood up in attempt to ease the tension in the air a bit.  
“Yeah, beer would be great. Thanks, dad.”  
“Blaine?”  
“Uhm...just water. Thank you.” Kurt was steadily eyeing him, not sure why Blaine was being so timid. Burt left the room, leaving the two to talk.   
“Are you okay?” Kurt asked him, alarmed.  
“Yes, of course.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Blaine.” Blaine sighed and joined Kurt on the sofa.  
“I want to leave a good impression. I don’t want your parents to think that you hang out with someone who doesn’t know how to dress properly…”  
“Blaine, my parents don’t give a damn about your clothes. I hoped you would feel safe and sound here. You don’t have to pretend anything in this house. You like wearing comfortable clothes at home and that’s what we want you to wear so you can be yourself. Do you understand? You don’t have to impress anyone. My dad and Carol already like you.”  
“We’ve just met.”  
“You make people fall in love with you pretty quickly, dummy.”  
“If you say so.” Blaine responded weakly.  
“Well, I hope Finn is going to be here any minute. You need to loosen up and I know for sure that my dad has a recorded football game prepared. Are you interested?”  
“I don’t want to impo…” Kurt put his hand on his mouth and firmly shook his head.  
“Don’t even try to finish that sentence. You are watching the game with them while Carol and I go through the newest gossip. You don’t have a choice in this.”


	12. Chapter 12

Kurt’s brother came in like a hurricane. It was quiet and calm in the Hummel household. Kurt and Blaine were sitting in the living room, talking about their journey when the entrance door opened and Finn marched into the house, dropping all his stuff on the floor and running to hug   
his mother and Burt. Then he wrapped his arms around Kurt and Blaine realized that Finn was even taller than what he looked like on the photos in Kurt’s and Rachel’s apartment.  
“You must be Blaine. Nice to meet you.” He focused on Blaine as soon as he greeted every member of his family and Blaine smiled in return, holding his hand out to him. Finn shook it and patted Blaine’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. Blaine still felt a little intimidated though.   
“I am soooo hungry. I’ll just put my things into my room and we can start with dinner. Gosh, I missed a home-made food.”   
“That’s because you refuse to learn anything about cooking.” Kurt reminded him but Finn just grinned at him and left the room.  
“Okay. Let’s move to the dining room then.” Carol suggested and they moved, barely getting to their seat when Finn ran to the room and threw himself on a chair closest to him.   
“What’s for dinner?” He asked eagerly.   
“Grilled chicken with salad.”  
“I can go with that if we have some snack for later.” Kurt looked at him disapprovingly.  
“No snacks later. You can watch whatever you want but only snack you are allowed to eat is fruit or vegetables.”  
“Don’t be such a buzzkill, Kurt.”  
“No.”  
“Kuuuuuuurt.” Finn whined and then he decided to play with big guns. “Blaine?”  
“Yeah?” Blaine asked warily, not sure why he would be drawn into the conversation.  
“Do you like football?  
“I do.”  
“Are you going to watch with us? Burt always records games so we can watch it together.”   
“I suppose I am.”  
“Great. It’ll be so much fun. We are Buckeyes fans but you know we are pretty liberal in this house so whoever you support, we’re okay with that.” Finn explained with his mouth full, not waiting for others to have their meal served.  
“Okay.”  
“So, Kurt...” Kurt rolled his eyes. Whatever Finn had in his mind, it was probably going to make Kurt amused and angry at the same time. “I can’t really invite Blaine for a game without snacks. What would it say about our hospitality?” Kurt snorted while Blaine chuckled. Finn was wearing a proud smirk, because hey, he’d been family with Kurt for years and he’d learned how to manipulate him.  
“You’re not helping.” Kurt accused Blaine and Blaine muttered silent sorry.  
“Since there are three of you, you can have two bags of popcorn.”  
“Only two? It’s not even one bag per person!” Finn complained but Burt stopped him.  
“Take it, buddy. It’s the best sale we are going to get tonight.”  
“Can you boys stop being yourselves for a while?” Carol asked them. “I don’t want Blaine to think we are crazy on his first night here.”  
“Don’t worry, Mom. He was going to find out either way.”   
“Finn!” Kurt exclaimed, making Finn laugh. Then Burt started to praise his wife’s cooking and the topic over the table changed. Blaine was charming the hell out of the Hummel- Hudson family and Kurt was observing his interaction with his family members. From the outside he seemed to be relaxed and at ease, being his sweet self although Kurt could see how he sometimes wiped his sweaty hands into his designer pants. Kurt didn’t say much at dinner. He spent the time watching others and listening to them, thinking about how natural the situation was. Blaine bonded with Finn and Burt over football and sports in general and he managed to sweep Carol off her feet by his endless knowledge about arts. 

After dinner, Kurt sent the guys off to watch their game with a bowl of popcorn and some beer while he and Carol stayed in the kitchen, putting the dishes into the dishwasher.   
“How is work going? Did they finally tell you more about your promotion?” Kurt asked his stepmother as he finished filling the washer.  
“Not really. Honestly, I don’t think I’m going to get it…”  
“Why not?”  
“There are lot of much younger people there…”  
“But you have experience they don’t.”  
“Yeah but I still think they’d rather promote someone who will stay with them for a long time. I’m on my way to retirement, Kurt.”  
“Don’t be silly. You have years until you retire.”  
“Less than those thirty year olds have...but enough of me. Tell me more about Blaine.” Carol smiled at him encouragingly and Kurt sighed.  
“What do you want to know?”  
“Whatever you are willing to share.”  
“There is nothing more than what I already told you on the phone. We’re friends, we hang out a lot and that’s it.”  
“So your sudden break up with Adam - which you refused to talk about by the way - had nothing to do with a charming cutie in our living room?”  
“I broke up with Adam because we grew apart. He proposed and I wasn’t ready to marry him. I really don’t have anything else to say on the matter.”  
“Okay. I’m going to be blunt. Do you have feelings for Blaine?” Kurt broke an eye contact with the woman sitting opposite him and looked at his hands. He was quiet for a while. Carol was patiently waiting for an answer. He would talk, she knew him. She even dared to think she knew him as much as she knew her own son. True to her premise, Kurt raised his eyes from his lap and fixed them on the wall behind Carol.  
“I’m not sure...I might have…” He admitted and then silence fell over them again.  
“He is a very nice guy, Kurt.” Carol said. “You don’t have to be afraid of him purposely hurting you. We all can see how much he cares about you.”  
“I’m not afraid of that…”  
“But you are afraid of something.” Kurt bit his lip and nodded. He was afraid. He was so afraid his feelings would get in the way and screw everything up.   
“He is precious, you know. He is...He is the best friend I’ve ever had. He is selfless and genuinely sweet. He takes but gives twice as much back...I could sit here till the early hours and talk highly about him because there isn’t anything bad in his personality. I have this urge to take care of him and protect him from evil and I don’t know why. And he does the exact same thing for me. We are honest with each other. We respect each other...We can spend endless hours talking as well as we can just spend the time together in complete silence and enjoy it…”   
“Why are you afraid to acknowledge that you are in love with him?”  
“Because I would be in for heartbreak. I’m not good enough for him. He doesn’t know a lot from my past and…”  
“Your past has nothing to do with your present or future, Kurt.”  
“Yeah, it has...I’m purposely lying to him, Carol.” Kurt frowned and took a while before continuing. “We are honest with each other but there are some things that I hide.”  
“Why?”  
“Because they might hurt him...I can’t tell him about all of the bullying. He knows I was bullied but that’s it. No detail but there is so much in it and he is aware of that. Sometimes I say something and he asks questions and I always say that it’s hard to talk about but it’s not. It isn’t hard to talk about but I can’t stand the thought of him being hurt so I purposely lie to him.”  
“I don’t understand, Kurt.”  
“He believes that there is something good in everybody. He built his whole persona around it. He doesn’t like negativity and his first instinct is to run away from everything that isn’t positive. If I told him what happened to me, his whole world would turn upside down. It would be hard for him to comprehend that someone could be so cruel...especially to me. He’s like an innocent child. And I love that about him.”  
“Kurt, every innocent child has to learn eventually that the world can be cruel sometimes. Do you really think he doesn’t know that? Blaine is a grown man. You don’t have to keep him in the dark about anything.”  
“You don’t know him. He doesn’t watch the news. He says there is so much negativity that it literally makes him sick. If he wants to know what’s new in the world, he reads something online but if the title of the article suggests that some bad news is written there, he doesn’t open it. He can see something bad happened but he won’t go for details. Why would I give him details about my shitty years before New York?”  
“Because he wants to know and sometimes it helps when you talk about your troubles. There are things you haven’t told anybody Kurt. We are pretty sure you weren’t honest with us about your bullying. There was much more to the bullying than you were letting on. Maybe getting it out would finally help you.”  
“There is no need to go back. What happened, happened. Talking about it is not going to change the past.”  
“But it could change the future.” Carol pinpointed, not helping Kurt’s mood at all. He hated sometimes when parents were right. “So after everything you’ve just told me you still insist that what you feel for him is only pure friendship?”  
“He needs to take the first step, Carol. After what he’s been through he has to be sure about us.” A glimpse of victory was shining in Carol’s eyes. She’d been after specific information and she got it.  
“And when that happens? What will you do?”  
“I’ll take that step with him.”

Meanwhile in the living room, Blaine was having fun with Burt and Finn until Burt fell asleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d watched a football game as a family event with his father and brother and he liked how it was a tradition in Kurt’s family. He didn’t even care it was an old game recorded poorly because Burt apparently had pushed some wrong buttons while recording it. Being honest, he had to admit that he’d been scared of coming to Ohio with Kurt. He hadn’t known what to expect and the only reason he had said yes to Kurt was Kurt’s enthusiasm when he had gotten the idea of them going on a road trip. Blaine found himself in situations he’d never expected to be in and it was all because of Kurt. All for Kurt. All for seeing him smile. All for making Kurt happy.   
“Blaine?” Blaine was pulled out of his thoughts by Finn who was eyeing him closely. “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah...I kinda zoned out. Sorry.”  
“You’re a cool guy.” Finn’s words surprised him. He tensed a little again, not sure what that was about.   
“Thanks?” Blaine responded warily.  
“You know, Kurt is my little brother and you might be the coolest guy in the world, but I won’t give a shit about it if you hurt him.”  
“I would never…” Finn didn’t let him finish his sentence. He raised his hands, indicating there was more to tell so Blaine shut up.  
“Yeah, of course you would never hurt him. That’s what everybody says in the beginning. Kurt is the best. He went through hell but in the end he came out as a winner. He is out and proud and I don’t think he should be with someone who wants him to keep their relationship in secret even in front of his family. You might be a superstar, Blaine, but Kurt deserves someone who will proudly acknowledge him as a boyfriend. I don’t care what your reasons for hiding are but it’s not cool. It makes an impression that he is not good enough for you and that is not true.”  
“Finn…”  
“I haven’t finished yet. You wanna date Kurt? Great, I have no reservation but do it openly. Kurt doesn’t deserve hiding.”  
“Finn, please let me talk, okay?”  
“I hope you have a good reason why you keep saying you aren’t together. I might have been really oblivious in high school but I’m quite good at reading others now. You can say whatever you want; I saw how you were looking at each other.”  
“I have a good reason. The reason is that we aren’t dating, Finn.” Finn just snorted and shook his head. Wasn’t Blaine listening to him at all? Finn wasn’t stupid. He knew when his brother was in love with someone!  
“I swear, Finn. Kurt is an amazing person and the last thing I would do if we were together would be keeping it secret...well, maybe I wouldn’t go public to press because things would get messy, but I certainly wouldn’t want him to act like there was nothing between us if it wasn’t true. Any guy would be lucky to have him and that applies to me as well. I would be proud to call him mine and I wouldn’t be afraid to show it.”  
“Why the hell aren’t you together then?”  
“He just broke up with Adam. I don’t think it’s time for him to date…” Blaine answered lamely.  
“You’re kidding, right? They broke up like three months ago! What are you waiting for?”  
“We are friends. Kurt doesn’t like me that way…”  
“And that’s where you are wrong, buddy. Kurt had a crush on me when he was sixteen and we weren’t related then, after that he sort of had a crush on another guy from our glee club and then he was dating Adam. From previous experience, I can tell when my brother is crushing on somebody and trust me; his crush on you is so big that I don’t hesitate to say that he is already in love with you.” Blaine shrugged his shoulders and without saying anything he turned his head to face the TV again. However, he didn’t pay any attention to the game. Nick and Jeff regularly nagged him about Kurt but he never listened to them. Why would Kurt want someone like Blaine? He was a coward afraid of his own shadow and a guy like Kurt needed more than that. Hearing from Finn that Kurt might actually be in love with Blaine was thrilling. Despite the warm feeling in his chest he wasn’t sure what to do with the information. What if Finn was wrong after all?  
“Blaine?”   
“Yeah?”  
“Could you please not tell Kurt what we talked about? He would kill me if he knew.”   
“Sure.” Blaine had no intention of ever mentioning to Kurt or another living soul what Finn had told him. He was about to bring the conversation back on the game when Kurt and Carol came to the room. Carol woke Burt up and took him upstairs to bed while Kurt announced that he was still as interested in football as ever and went to his room to read a book. Blaine and Finn continued to watch the game in comfortable silence and when it was over Blaine followed Finn upstairs and they said their goodnights in front of their respective rooms. Blaine softly knocked on the door and waited for soft come in.  
“You don’t have to knock.” Kurt told him when he entered the room. “It’s your room as well as it is mine.” Smiling, Blaine walked to his suitcase to look for his pyjamas.   
“I’m going to change.” He said and disappeared in Kurt’s bathroom. Kurt put his book on a bedside table and turned off the lights. He let the lamp beside his bed on so Blaine wouldn’t trip on his way to bed and made himself comfortable in his sheets. Blaine joined him mere minutes later, bashfully sliding under the covers. He felt a bit ridiculous. It wasn’t the first time they slept side by side but he’d never thought of the possibility that Kurt might be in love with him before. Now, everything was different. How was he supposed to deal with the fact? Was he himself in love with Kurt? He’d never been in love. He had had boyfriends and acquaintances in the past but he couldn’t honestly say that he’d loved at least one of them. The feelings that came with Kurt were confusing for him and he wasn’t ready to put their friendship at stake. He knew that much.  
“What is going through your pretty head?” Kurt whispered, shifting closer to him.  
“Nothing. It was an eventful day.” Blaine responded in an equally tender voice.  
“It was. I’m so glad you’re here, Blaine. I know that dealing with my family must be stressful at first but they like you. I want you to relax while we’re here.”  
“I will. I promise.” Kurt was looking him right in the eyes, with a smile that could light up the darkest night.  
“What?” Blaine asked, quirking his eyebrows.   
“I’ve never had a boy sleepover in here.” Kurt admitted with a big grin. “All of the girls in our glee club slept here at one point but the only guy I ever had here was Adam and we were dating at the time so it doesn’t count as a friend sleepover. I dreamt about having a friend, a boy to share my secrets with but there was no one good enough for the job amongst the boys I knew.”  
“Am I good enough for it?”  
“You’re perfect for it.” Now it was Blaine’s turn for a wide smile. God, how much he loved to see Kurt like this. Happy and content, without any worries from the outside world…  
“So tell me, Kurt. What other dreams did you use to have? What were your secrets?”


	13. Chapter 13

“The dreams I had? Hmmm…” Kurt said thoughtfully. “I wanted to be a big Broadway star…”   
“Come on, Kurt.” Blaine complained immediately. “Tell me something I don’t know yet. What a little Kurt Hummel dreamt of?”  
“A sibling...I asked my parents on regular basis why I didn’t have brother or sister since I was three. I wanted to be a big brother. To have someone to protect and love...My parents did try but...there were some medical conditions with my mother and when the hope for a possible conceiving came, she was in an accident.”  
“Kurt...I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand and squeezed it. Kurt didn’t talk about his mother often. He barely mentioned her once in a while and Blaine never asked for more. From what a little information he had, he knew how much Kurt loved her and missed her.  
“It’s okay, Blaine.” Kurt sent him a little smile though his eyes were misty now. “I could choose another dream if I didn’t want to talk about it…”   
“I know it’s not the same but you have Finn now...” Blaine told him softly and interlaced their fingers when he realized that Kurt wasn’t going to let go of his hand.  
“Yeah…” Kurt chuckled. “He is a great brother…”  
“You’d have been an amazing big brother, Kurt.”  
“Thanks.” They stayed quiet for a while, looking each other in the eyes.  
“Aren’t you tired?” Kurt broke the silence. “I woke you up pretty early…”  
“I’m not...I’m pretty curious about your dreams and secrets now.” Blaine smiled at him and subconsciously started to stroke Kurt’s knuckles with his thumb.  
“They are not so interesting…” Kurt said hesitantly.  
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’m not going to push you...”  
“It’s not that…” Kurt sighed. “I’m afraid that if I start, I won’t stop for hours...I’ve never talked about it with anyone...It’s like opening Pandora’s Box.”  
“It’s up to you, Kurt. I’m here to listen for how long you need.”  
“I used to dream about my wedding.” Kurt blurted and he was very aware that there wasn’t a way back now. “When I was four, my parents took me to my first wedding. My mom’s friend was getting married in Columbus and we went there together and I was a ring bearer. I remember how fascinated I was. It was like a fairy-tale with a princess and a prince. My mom and dad were smiling and dancing together and I kept asking them when they would get married and they struggled in explaining to me that they already had a wedding. After we came back, they showed me their wedding album for the first time and I spent the whole two weeks going through it several times a day.” Blaine could see the scene right in front his eyes. He had caught a picture of a little boy with a big photo album on his knees downstairs. Kurt was the cutest kid he’d ever seen. Images of him being spellbound by weddings added even more sweetness to a boy that was adorning a photo on the shelf in the Hummel-Hudson living room.  
“We went to several weddings in the next two years and my action figures were getting married to another person every other day. I don’t think any kid could beat me in wedding role-plays. I mastered them.” Kurt grinned proudly.  
“So you have known you have wanted to get married since you were like four?”  
“Yeah...I guess...My mom had a beautiful dress. It was full of colours and it reminded me of rainbows and meadows...I asked her if she would wear them at my wedding. She said she would if it made me happy. I was so proud that my mom would be the most beautiful woman there.” Kurt chuckled. “I told my dad and he said that the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful woman at the wedding.”  
“Your dad kind of ruined it for you, didn’t he?”  
“He did. I asked my mom if I have to marry some girl because I don’t want anybody to be prettier than her and she told me I can marry whoever I wanted. The only condition is to love them with my whole heart. I think she knew...”  
“Knew what?”   
“That there won’t be any bride next to me by the altar…”  
“So there is a wedding in your future plans?”  
“Not necessarily...There is a soulmate...or at least I hope there is.” Kurt looked at Blaine, ignoring how crazy his heart was beating. “When I find the one, I won’t need a ring on my finger to spend the rest of my life with him. I think for legal purposes it’s better to be married but if he doesn’t want to, I won’t force him. As long as I’m safe and happy with him and we truly love each other, there is no need for some paper to state that we are supposed to be together till death tears us apart.”   
“And if he wants the wedding?”  
“Then there’ll be one. But I’m not sure if I could go with one of my ideas from childhood. They were a little too much…”  
“I doubt that. You can pull off anything.”   
“Well, I don’t think anyone would want to marry between koalas in the zoo or on monkey- bars in the park.” Blaine laughed and somehow he could picture himself standing in the zoo cage, surrounded by trees and koalas, holding Kurt’s hand...Wow, where did that one come from?  
“I would…” He whispered and blushed.  
“Of course, you would. You would do anything to make people happy. I have no doubts that one day someone is going to win the lottery with you as a boyfriend.”  
“Tell me more about your wedding plans…” Blaine prompted him, not sure how to react to what Kurt had said. He would do anything to be a lottery win for someone...preferably Kurt and it scared the hell out of him. There was a friendship at stake if it didn’t work out.  
“There is nothing more...I stopped planning weddings when my mom died…There was no point in it since I knew she wouldn’t be there...” A single tear slipped down Kurt’s cheek and he blinked the rest of them away.  
“Kurt, you don’t have to…”  
“I know. I want to, though…” He took a deep breath and smiled weakly at Blaine. “My parents were my everything. I was this weird kid with a high pitched voice and interest in arts and you know, girly things...I was too much of a girl for boys to play with me but still too much of a boy for girls to play with me...I didn’t mind. Not really. My parents loved me the way I was and I was a happy child. I didn’t miss company of other children. They could be very mean to me so I didn’t dream to be with them. My mom taught me how to defend myself...How to be proud of who I am and how others’ opinions don’t matter while I know I’m not doing anything wrong. She did everything with grace and she was a great example how to deal with people. I watched her interact with others, whether they were nice or vile, she always treated everyone with courtesy but she never let anyone to bring her down. She walked with her head up and people loved her for her ability to always stand up for herself as much as they hated her for it because they were too weak to even try it for themselves. I could be such a nice person if she would have stuck around for just a little bit longer…”  
“Kurt, you ARE a nice person.” Blaine interrupted him firmly. “You are an amazing person, why…”  
“I’m not, Blaine.” Kurt cut him off. “I got really mean. I threw insults and didn’t care who I hurt...there was a time during high school where I had nothing nice to say to anybody for days, my dad including...She wouldn’t have been proud of me…”  
“You were hurt, Kurt. People tend to protect themselves by being mean…”  
“You don’t do that…”  
“Maybe I haven’t been really hurt.”  
“I became bitter...Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if she was still alive...After she died, me and my dad grew apart…”  
“Did you blame him for what happened with your mom?” Blaine dared to ask.  
“No. Not for that. But I blamed him for her not coming back...I was eight; I didn’t understand lot of things. She was on her way to the mall when a car crashed into her. She was dead in an instant. I was at school and no one was coming for me and I was worried. My parents never forgot to pick me up on time. Then our neighbour came and took me and I spent the night at her house. The next day my dad explained to me that mom wasn’t with us anymore. I knew what it meant that someone was dead. But until then I thought that only old people die. My mom was thirty-four. I just couldn’t comprehend how it was possible. My dad did what he could but it wasn’t much. I cried, he held me. I asked questions, he answered me but it still wouldn’t bring her back. He refused to put me into a poor orphan position so he made an official last farewell with family and friends and priest without me. He minimized my interaction with people who could pity me and make me uncomfortable. When they were lowering her body to her grave, it was just me and dad there. My dad was spending more and more time at work. I know now that with just one income it wasn’t easy. Especially when he’d decided to open his own garage a year before my mom died so his business was still in the beginning. I went to our neighbour after school and waited for him. Then we had dinner, usually something he picked up on his way home. We barely talked but when I was crying at night he came and held me. I never saw him cry, though. I was so pissed at him for that. I was praying every night and begged God to send her back but it felt like no one was listening to my pleading. I started to think that they wouldn’t let her go from heaven because my dad didn’t want her here anymore…” The tears were now streaming on both of their faces and Kurt cursed himself for even starting the topic. The last thing he wanted was for Blaine to be sad.  
“How long did you blame him?”  
“About six months...One night I was thirsty so I went to the kitchen for a glass of water. As I was passing dad’s bedroom, I could hear sobbing. The lights were on even though it was in the middle of the night and I immediately panicked. I pushed the door open and there he was. Sitting on the bed with mom’s favourite sweater in his hands and he was crying. I threw myself on him and he wrapped his arms around me and held me like I was his last lifeline. I just kept saying that it’s gonna be alright. The same thing he told me every single time I was in tears...I didn’t cry with him. I knew I had to stay strong. I realized that day that all the time since my mom died my dad was being strong for me and I hated myself for thinking that he didn’t love mom anymore. It got better after that. I opened up more to him. He did his best to catch up on me and my interests. We went to the theatre on my ninth birthday. It was torture for him but he did it anyway. I told him we would go to a football game for his birthday…”   
“Did you go?”  
“Yeah...it was just a game at McKinley, my future high school, but it was a game.”  
“Did you enjoy it?”   
“It was torture.” They both laughed and Kurt wiped Blaine’s tears from his cheek.  
“I didn’t mean to make you sad.”  
“I wanna know more…” Blaine said eagerly. It was like a whole new world of Kurt Hummel was opening in front of him and he yearned for more.  
“Besides few little secrets I had, there isn’t much to tell...I was teased at school all the time. Boys picked on me and no one wanted to be friends with me because they were afraid that they would be a target as well. I never learnt to shut up and just let it be. When someone was treating me badly, I voiced my opinion. I fought with insults and witty remarks and it got me into even more troubles. My dad didn’t know. I was a different person at home and at school. The teachers were too blind to notice something and for me it was everyday struggle of surviving. Singing and watching musicals was my escape from everything. I needed mom. I needed her to tell me I was not in the wrong. That it wasn’t my fault that I was so mean. They bullied me but I verbally bullied them back. Yes, they had no idea what my insults meant but still...I was looking forward to starting high school. I thought that with more kids in there I could make some friends and I was stupid enough to think that kids were more mature in high school. I was such a fool. I ended up in a dumpster the first day I stepped on the ground of McKinley. They called it a “welcome newbies” tradition. I made a habit to avoid the area where the dumpsters were but it was pointless. If they wanted to throw me in it, they did it either way. One day they walked with me from the opposite side of campus and the teacher stopped by and praised them for how nice classmates they were being for befriending a new kid. Of course, my vocabulary for insults increased very quickly but the more I was talking back, the more attention I got and soon I was bullied daily. I was either tossed into a dumpster or into a locker. During my sophomore year I joined the glee club and since it was on the bottom of the food chain, it didn’t really help with bullying. I got friends though. Rachel was a nightmare at that time. She wanted a spotlight just for herself and I was pissed. I didn’t get why someone could have everything while I seemed to always lose but she was an outcast and we found the way to each other eventually...Oh, let’s not forget slushie facials...It was worse than being in a dumpster.”  
“What is a slushie facial?” Blaine asked, confused.  
“We had a slushie machine at school. They liked to throw the ice cold beverage into our faces.”  
“Oh my god!”  
“Yeah...It was horrible. I lost a lot of great pieces from my wardrobe...The stains were impossible to clean...it still wasn’t the worst part of my high school experience.”  
“What about teachers? Didn’t they notice anything?”  
“Sure, they did. They just didn’t do anything about it. There was either a homophobia or hidden homophobia. Nothing in between.”  
“What was the worst part?” Blaine whispered.  
“My junior year. I got used to general bullying but the things escalated that year. There was one football player...he couldn’t pass by me in the hallway without tossing me into a locker or saying something offensive about gays or threatening me...I had so much on my plate already and he kept pushing me...I was lonely. No one really understood me. Not even my friends. My dad was dating Carol and he was happy but Finn and I were on rocks and I felt like it might be my fault if they wouldn’t work out...then my dad had a heart attack. Everybody at school knew that he was in the hospital, in a coma. The football team actually layed off. They had enough dignity not to bully me while I was worrying about my dad. Well, the one who made me his regular target didn’t stop but the rest of them were decent for a while.”  
“Didn’t your friends do anything?”  
“They were bullied as well. Not as much as I was but still…”  
“Wasn’t Finn a football player in high school?”  
“He was. And some of the guys from the glee club as well. But they couldn’t do anything. They occasionally got slushies from their teammates because they were in the glee club. I didn’t expect them to do anything...I was living in constant fear. Not of the football team in general but of that one boy...One day I snapped. I found myself being tossed into a locker in the hallway for like billionth time that day and I just followed him to the locker room. We yelled at each other, spitted some insults and then he grabbed my face and kissed me.”  
“What?!”  
“I’ve never told anybody. And I need you to swear not to say a word about it to a living soul. My parents can’t find about that. He threatened to kill me if I said something. The whole thing blew out right before my dad’s and Carol’s wedding but I didn’t tell them the whole story. They went to our principal and she expelled him but the school board let him come back after a week. It was the time when I almost transferred to Dalton.”   
“No way! We could have known each other for years!”  
“Yes. But we couldn’t afford more than one year there so I decided to stay. Dad and Carol didn’t like it and they were willing to take a loan but Finn and I wanted to go to college out of state and I knew we would need money for relocating. I had only one goal - to get out of this shit hole.”  
“So you suffered another two years?”  
“The bullying diminished. I think people were little afraid of being expelled. My friends came up with a schedule how to keep me company so I was never alone. It was frustrating. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without one of them! But it was sweet. There was an insult or a slushie once in a while but it was far from what it had used to be. I graduated and left while most of my tormentors stayed here. It was my personal victory.”  
“You left out the details…” Blaine pointed out. “It was an extended version of what I heard so far but you still keep details to yourself. What kind of insults? Were they calling you names? How bad you were hurt physically? You must have had bruises all over your body...”  
“Details aren’t important, Blaine. I won’t be held responsible for your loss of faith in the human race…Your ignorance is your virtue. They broke me. They made me mean and vindictive and I had to fight hard to get back at least a shred of what I used to be while my Mom was still alive. You are everything that is good in this world, Blaine, and I don’t want you to ever change. You didn’t have to face such a cruelty and I’m glad for it.”  
“I did.”  
“You did what?”  
“I did face the cruelty. But I wasn’t brave enough to admit that sometimes there is injustice in the world without relevant reason because it would turn upside down everything I ever believed in and I wasn’t ready for making new beliefs. I stayed that way for years. It was easy at Dalton but then the world came crushing in on me again in New York and I still didn’t have the strength to do something so I isolated myself from others. I’ve never met someone more courageous and strong than you are, Kurt. You’ve been through hell, back and forth, and you still keep going. I admire you.” Blaine was wearing a serious expression and Kurt froze. There was a lot unsaid when it came to Blaine but Kurt, not once, thought something worse than what he’d already hinted could have happened to him.   
“What kind of cruelty?” Kurt asked alarmed.   
“Cruelty of homophobic kids in a public high school.”  
“You never went to a public high school.”  
“But my friend did...and I underestimated the situation…”  
“What did you do?”  
“My mom was a dentist. She had her own practise in Westerville. Her nurse was a nice lady with a son of my age and we were best friends since I remember. He lived in a different part of the town but we visited each other pretty often. When we were twelve, he was supposed to go to a birthday party of his classmate. The girl was turning thirteen and she invited the whole class. He went to a public school while I was in a private one and he didn’t want to go without me because the kids talked about playing spin the bottle. He didn’t want to kiss anybody.” Blaine smiled at the memory and continued. “He told me that he wasn’t sure whether kissing a girl would be satisfying enough and I asked why. He said that he would rather kiss a boy but he doubted that there’d be any volunteers. So I volunteered. You know, for saving him from an embarrassment of not knowing what he was doing…”  
“Oh, come on, Blaine. You just wanted to make out.” Kurt nagged him and Blaine grinned.  
“Well, there were some positive outcomes of it for me…”  
“Did you have a crush on him?”  
“No. We were friends. I didn’t have feelings for him. It was just an experiment. My first kiss. It was nice, lasted about two seconds and then we burst into a laughter. We never kissed after that. But we kind of came out to each other that day. He never said anything at school and at the end of the eighth grade he was the only one who wasn’t “dating” anyone. He thought that maybe in high school it’d be better. He was openly out from the first day and they were giving him a crap for it. I didn’t understand. Dalton was different. No one cared there. There was a Sadie Hawkins dance at his school. He wasn’t about to go but I convinced him that we should go. To show them that there is nothing wrong when a boy goes to a dance with a boy…”  
“Please, tell me you didn’t go.”  
“We did. We were glared at, gay - bashed and ridiculed. We called his dad an hour after we came and while we were waiting for him to pick us up, some guys came and beat us up.”  
“Oh my god!”  
“I woke up in a hospital. Few broken bones and concussion.”  
“And your friend?”  
“There were some problems with a spinal cord. He needed rehabilitation but fortunately, he was able to walk in the end. The last time I saw him was the dance.”  
“Why?”  
“He didn’t want to see me anymore after the attack. I guess he was blaming me for what happened. He was right after all. It was my fault. He didn’t want to go…”  
“It wasn’t your fault, Blaine!”   
“Wasn’t it? I knew what he was dealing with at school and I made him go. If we had stayed home…”  
“Blaine, look at me. It’s not your fault. You believed you could change their point of view. You lived in a different world. You couldn’t have known…”  
“His family moved out...I have no idea what happened to him. I had nightmares for months. I went to therapy. Everywhere I went, I looked for an exit and I made sure I was standing close to it so I could escape if something happened...I was a very social kid but after the attack I had a tendency to shy away from people. That’s when Nick and Jeff came into my life. We were friends before but not so close. They were a team and they didn’t let anyone into their bubble. I quit the Warblers and they followed me around the school and annoyed the hell out of me while trying to persuade me to change my mind. One day they cornered me in the library and refused to let me go until I said that I’d come back. They witnessed my first panic attack. Nick helped me to get through it and they took me to my room. Since then I had the best protectors in the whole world. If someone as much as send a glance in my direction, they were ready to fight. The duo became the trio and the rest is history.” Kurt was looking at him, biting his lower lip. The wheels in his head were moving fast and the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.  
“When your fans cornered you and…”  
“Yep.” Blaine didn’t give him a chance to finish a sentence. “I had a flashback and panicked. It was the second time it happened and I hope I’ll never have to go through it again.”  
“After all that happened to you, you still expect the good in people?” Blaine shrugged his shoulders at his question.   
“What’s the point in hating? What’s the point in being negative? It just brings you down. It was one bad experience...”  
“You had many bad experiences during your first years in New York.”  
“You had many bad experiences since you were a little child...Everybody has to have a bad experience at some point. Some people know how to deal with them, the others don’t. I belong to the latter. I’m afraid of changing my thinking because I don’t want to admit to myself that there might be something wrong with me...”  
“There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”  
“I am far from perfect but I have a role model and I aspire to be at least a half of a man he is.”  
“Who is it?”  
“You.” Blaine said and tapped Kurt’s nose with his finger, making Kurt laugh.  
“Well, I don’t think very highly of me so I hope you won’t succeed in this mission. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”  
“And I wouldn’t change a thing about you, mister.”  
“Do you think we would be friends had I gone to Dalton?”  
“I believe we would…” Blaine answered, thinking that maybe they would have been much more than friends.  
“I was in a bad place. Maybe you wouldn’t have been fond of me…”  
“I had a hero complex in high school so I would have probably tried to save you…” Kurt giggled and shifted closer to Blaine. Blaine stopped breathing for a moment. Kurt didn’t seem to notice. He comfortably rested his forehead against Blaine’s chest, without realizing, that Blaine’s heart was beating too quickly for it being healthy. Their laced hands were trapped between them and Blaine mustered the courage to stroke Kurt’s hair with his other one.  
“It was hard when my dad got married...My friends were too busy with their own lives to help me through it and honestly, I didn’t expect them to. They were my own security service at school so I could feel save and it was enough.”  
“Did you like Carol?”  
“I loved her from the first moment. She was perfect for dad, I knew it. And she never tried to replace my mom. That was the most important thing for me. She lost her first husband when Finn was two and she could relate to my dad and his grief...He wasn’t alone anymore and I could see him smile lot more. I didn’t need more.”  
“But you were lonely…”  
“I was. I put all my hopes into leaving Lima and finding a better life in New York. I was desperate and I needed something to cling to. When we moved out from our old house, I understood why it was necessary. We created a new family and it wouldn’t be fair to stay in one of the old houses. So Carol sold her house and dad ours and we came here. It was like the last piece of my mother was ripped out of me. My dad put all her stuff in our attic when she died. When we were moving out he asked if I wanted to keep something...” Kurt sniffled a little and Blaine let go of his hand so he could wrap his arm around him. “I’d already claimed her scarves collection a few years back and I had a bottle of her perfume so I said I only wanted the rainbow dress...as it turned out, there wasn’t any rainbow dress anymore because my mom was buried in it.. I spent months on ebay in attempt to find the dress.”  
“Did you find it?”  
“No...I found out later that it’d been made by my mom. I was finally ready to have the dress in my possession after years when I couldn’t as much as think of it without crying, and instead I ended up empty handed. I had a big fight with dad about it. I accused him of being heartless because he’d known how much it had meant to me as a child and that he must have known I would want it at some point. He tried to explain that it had been the last thing on his mind when he’d been dealing with the funeral and he apologized a billion times but I was stubborn and hurt. Dad and Carol did their best to get me out of my funk but they didn’t understand. They couldn’t do anything to make it better. The only person who understood was Finn. The recliner we have in the living room belonged to his dad. Carol wanted to get rid of it when we were moving in here but Finn threw a fit and she kept it. My dad put it in the living room although Carol’s idea was to keep it in Finn’s room. Finn knew what I was going through and we became a lot closer. We might have our differences but he is my real brother. He did some crazy things that were supposed to help me and failed miserably but I appreciated the effort...I should probably stop talking.” Kurt concluded and went silent.  
“Why?” Blaine asked curiously and tightened his embrace when he felt that Kurt was about to pull away.  
“Because I am an emotional wreck right now and I’m invading your personal space far more than a friend is allowed to.”  
“Are you uncomfortable?” A disappointment in Blaine’s voice and the way he eased his arms around Kurt made Kurt frown.  
“No. The contrary. I am very very comfortable…”  
“So stay where you are.” Blaine ordered and shifted a little so he was lying on his back with Kurt’s head on his chest and Kurt’s arm across his belly. “Just stay like this. I don’t mind.” Kurt nodded and closed his eyes. He was tired and a steady rhythm of Blaine’s heart was easily lulling him to sleep.  
“Kurt?” Blaine whispered into the silence, not sure whether his friend was already asleep or not.  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone who you initially considered a friend?”


	14. Chapter 14

“Kurt?” Blaine whispered into the silence, not sure whether his friend was already asleep or not.  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone who you initially considered a friend?”   
It took Kurt a moment to raise his head and look at Blaine.  
“Well…” He started slowly, carefully measuring the words he was about to say. “I think it is…” Blaine’s breath hitched and he adjusted himself so he was leaning on his elbows, watching Kurt intently.   
“Has it ever happened to you?” Blaine was actually proud of himself for uttering the question without stutter while his heartbeat was nowhere near to a normal speed.  
“Yeah.” Kurt answered, completely missing how Blaine’s face was coming closer to his own and how Blaine’s eyes were focused on his lips. “I mean, Adam and I were friends before we started dating…”  
“Oh…” Blaine fell back down on the sheets and Kurt laid his head on his chest again. He wondered why Blaine had asked such a thing but he’d learnt a long ago not to overanalyse anything.  
“Weren’t you and your first boyfriend friends at first?”  
“We were...but I didn’t really love him. I had a crush but the deeper feelings never came. He was kind of perfect for a first boyfriend. Except the first kiss I experienced almost everything with him. He was respectful and we had a great time together but it wasn’t enough after he started to tell me that he loved me daily and I wasn’t able to say it back. And after I came to New York, things were pretty quick with guys. We met, went on a date, had sex and split after a few weeks...I just felt used and dirty.”  
“You’ll find someone to love. I promise. It just takes some time.” Kurt assured him.  
“How long do I have to wait?” Blaine whispered brokenly.  
“I don’t know. But it’ll be worth the wait. Good things come to those who wait, Blaine. My mom used to say that and she was always right.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine was testing Kurt’s patience the second day after their arrival. It was Carol’s birthday. Kurt was supposed to cook dinner like every year and he intended to do just that but Blaine was being really difficult.  
“Come on, Kurt. I can’t sit and just watch you. Let me help.”  
“Blaine, you CAN’T cook. I don’t trust you with making tea why the hell would I let you help me with a birthday dinner?”  
“I can chop the vegetables…” Blaine suggested. He wasn’t about to give up. He’d spent the last hour watching TV and witnessed more boredom that his limits could take.  
“You need to peel them first…” Kurt pointed out, daring Blaine to say more in the matter.  
“I can do that as well…”  
“Have you ever done that before?”  
“No…” Blaine admitted reluctantly. “But there is always the first time for everything, right?” Kurt let out an exaggerated sigh and handed him a peeler.  
“You know what that is?”  
“A thing I’m supposed to use for peeling?”  
“I still don’t understand how you could graduate at the top of your class in a prep school without having a basic knowledge about housework.”  
“A mystery of life, my friend.” Blaine grinned and grabbed the peeler, taking a carrot from the table. He looked at the content in his hands and thought carefully what to do with it.  
“You are doing it wrong.” Kurt said.  
“I haven’t even started yet!”  
“I can tell by the way you are holding it that you have no idea what to do! Give it to me.” Kurt reached for the peeler but Blaine was faster. He stepped back a little and hid his hands behind his back.  
“No.” He stated resolutely.  
“Blaine, I don’t have the time for playing.” Kurt warned him and approached him, which made Blaine take another step back. They repeated the action until Blaine’s back was against the kitchen counter. Kurt smirked victoriously and trapped Blaine, putting his palms on the countertop.  
“Give it to me, Anderson.” Kurt ordered in a low voice.  
“Nope.” Blaine responded and shook his head.  
“No?” Kurt asked teasingly, slowly moving his fingers closer to Blaine’s wrists to catch them behind his back.  
“N-No.” A stuttered whisper changed the air in the room immediately. It was then when Kurt realized he was probably too close to Blaine and that maybe he should make some space between them but he caught how Blaine’s eyes flickered to his lips and Kurt unintentionally licked them, his eyes daring Blaine to finally close the remaining distance between them. Instead of Blaine’s lips on his own he was drawn to reality by a sound of boiling water that was leaking out of a pot right on the stove.  
“Fuck!” Kurt cursed and rushed to control the damage. Blaine slowly returned to his previous spot and put the peeler and carrot down, not really sure whether he should help Kurt or disappear. He was standing there, not moving an inch even after Kurt turned around to look at him. Before he could make up his mind about his next action, Finn came into the room, demanding their attention.  
“Hi guys. Sorry for interrupting the staring contest but I need help. Burt sent me to buy flowers for mom but he said he doesn’t trust me with it and he wants me to take Blaine. Do you think you could spare him for a while?”  
“Yeah. He was about to help me with vegetables but I think you need him more than I do.” Kurt answered and smiled encouragingly at Blaine.  
“Thanks. Blaine? Can I drag you with me?”  
“Sure.” Blaine nodded, finally breaking the eye contact with Kurt to look at Finn.   
“Thanks. Let’s go then.” Blaine obediently followed him. He still managed to wave Kurt goodbye and give him a weak smile.  
“You must be on the top of his favourites list if he let you close to the food he was preparing.” Finn remarked as they were getting on his car. “You should be honoured.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Kurt couldn’t believe his eyes. The house he was standing in front of was huge. It was big enough for at least five families to live there without it being overcrowded.  
“This is your house?!” He asked, shocked.  
“Not mine but my parents’.” Blaine said and nudged his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”   
The entrance hall was spectacular. The deeper into the house they were getting the more stunned Kurt was. Although the furniture was covered by white sheets, Kurt could tell the house was beautiful.  
“I told Mrs Dawson to prepare my room and the kitchen. I don’t think we’ll need more.”   
“Who is Mrs Dawson?”   
“A lady who takes care of our house while we aren’t here…”  
“It’s a shame that it’s empty. Gosh, Blaine. This house is amazing...Are you related to some royalty or something? Who can afford to live in a house like this?”  
“Our company is very successful…” Blaine shrugged his shoulders and led Kurt upstairs.  
“You don’t understand, Blaine. This house is like a palace… OH MY GOD!” Kurt screamed and stopped abruptly to look outside of the window on the staircase.  
“Is that your garden?”  
“Yeah…”   
“I can’t see the end of it! How large is it?”   
“About 20 acres...Not so big.”  
“Not so big?!”  
“Do you want to take a walk there?”  
“YES! Let’s Go!” Kurt ran down the stairs but he soon realized that he had no idea how to get outside so he waited for Blaine to come down as well.  
“I’m afraid to take you to the kitchen now.” Blaine chuckled. “If you are like this after seeing a few covered rooms and the garden, I’m not sure what you will do when you see kitchen and my room.”  
“You brought me here willingly so you have to take the consequences.”  
“Stay here. I asked Mrs Dawson to make us some food. I’ll bring something and we can eat it out.”  
“I’m going with you.”  
“No, you’re not. I’ll show you the rest of the house later.” Blaine stated firmly and left. Kurt felt a little lonely in a big hall. It was like being in a museum. So much beauty to look at…He was admiring the wooden floor when Blaine came back.  
“We have a chicken salad. Are you okay with that?”  
“Of course. Let’s go out!” He rushed Blaine impatiently and Blaine just laughed at him.  
They ended up eating their lunch in Blaine’s tree house. It was something that surprised Kurt more than the whole garden.  
“You know, a regular boy has a tree house. You had a “three trees house”. How did your father build that?”   
“I don’t know. I remember that it took him a few months.”  
“What’s that?” Kurt pointed at the old chest in the corner.  
“We kept our treasures there…”  
“We?”  
“Me and Tommy...the boy I went to the Sadie Hawkins…”  
“Oh…”  
“There should be blankets but I’m not sure if they are usable.” Blaine opened the cover and retrieved an old Mickey Mouse blanket.  
“Well, it seems to be okay.” He laid it out on the floor and motioned Kurt to sit down before handing him a bowl with salad and a fork.  
“Thank you.” Kurt smiled at him.  
“I haven’t been here in years…”  
“Why not? It’s awesome.”  
“It was mine and Tommy’s shelter...after he stopped being friends with me I didn’t have a reason to come here.”  
“Did you share your secrets here?”  
“We did…”  
“You can share it with me if you want to…”   
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were elected prom queen your junior year?” Blaine blurted out of the blue.  
“Wh-What?”  
“Finn told me, Kurt. Yesterday. Why did you keep that from me?”  
“Because it’s not important.”  
“It is important! It’s something that happened to you so it is important for me! I feel like you deliberately keep some things from me and while I can’t force you to tell me, I still think that we are close enough to know that kind of stuff about each other. I’m not a porcelain doll, Kurt. I’m not going to break if you tell me how cruel people can be!”  
“Why are you so upset about it?”  
“Because I feel like a charity case, Kurt! I feel like this friendship is one-sided help! I have so many issues and I know I can come to you for help but I can’t give you anything back because you won’t do the same!”  
“Blaine, you can’t help me with something that happened years ago.”  
“I know I can’t. But if you don’t want to tell me about what happened to you in the past, you probably won’t tell me about your present issues as well. So what is this Kurt? What am I to you? I thought we were friends but after what I found out yesterday it seems that I consider you a friend and trust you endlessly but it’s not reciprocated.”  
“What did Finn tell you?” Kurt asked warily.  
“Everything he knows!” Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “And you know what? I’m still here. I didn’t change. I didn’t break down so your stupid excuse of protecting me from seeing how bad people can be is not going to cut it this time!”   
“It wasn’t a stupid excuse. I really didn’t want you to think that people aren’t the way you expect them to be…”  
“That’s a bullshit, Kurt! You could have told me! You should...”  
“I TOLD YOU!” Kurt cut in. “I told you more than I’ve EVER told anyone. I told you about my mom, I took you to her grave. I told you about my younger self, about my dreams and hopes. I told you as much about bullying as I dared to so don’t you try to tell me that your friendship means nothing to me because it means...YOU mean the world to me, Blaine.”  
“So why do you keep so many secrets?”  
“Because I’m afraid that you’d change your mind about me if you knew everything. I can’t tell you everything without mentioning my own faults and I know I wouldn’t be able to...You’d be disappointed with me even more than you are now.” Blaine shook his head at Kurt’s words.   
“See, you are doing it again. Keeping secrets, speaking in riddles…”  
“I didn’t go to prom. Our glee club teacher made us sing there but I got excused because I pretended to be sick. I...I didn‘t face the humiliation on the spot. Finn and Rachel told me as sensitively as it was possible and I had time to recover before I went to school. It wasn’t that bad actually. For most of the kids it was yesterday news so I didn’t get a lot of crap...Dave did though.”  
“Who’s Dave?”  
“The football player who kissed me. He won prom king and his teammates were teasing him. He didn’t take it well. He apologized at the end of the year to me...He transferred schools.”  
“It’s not your fault he had to transfer schools.” Blaine interrupted him once again.  
“I know. Just listen, ok? I saw him occasionally at Scandals. We talked a bit, I was polite and he was decent. He tried to figure everything out and I could have done more but I didn’t. When Valentine’s Day was coming, I was frustrated. I was alone while my friends were in relationships and...Well, I was bitchy more than usual. Then I got a card from a secret admirer. And another one the next day. I got flowers and chocolates and for a while I thought it was some kind of twisted plan from the glee club to help me but as it turned out, it wasn’t. The last card I got was an invitation for a date at Breadsticks. I went, of course, because I was really curious...Dave showed up. He told me he thought he was in love with me. I let him down. gently...or I hope it was gently. I said we could be friends but that’s it. He took it seriously, even though for me it was just a figure of speech. He called me, I didn’t answer, he texted me, I didn’t respond. I was having an upper hand and I was enjoying it. He’d made my life a living hell and I really didn’t feel like being BFFs all of a sudden . I should have given him a chance…” Kurt objected.  
“I’m pretty sure he was okay, Kurt. Don’t bring yourself down for it.”  
“He attempted a suicide.” Kurt whispered. “He tried to call me, to talk to me and I was blind and stupid. He had no one to talk to after they’d outed him at his new school. Someone saw us in Breadsticks on Valentine’s Day. He was forced out of the closet and I was responsible for it.”  
“No, you weren’t! Kurt, look at me.” Kurt raised his eyes from the floor and met Blaine’s concerned ones. “None of it was your fault. You didn’t out him.”  
“I should have picked up the phone, Blaine! If his dad hadn’t come home from work early that day, Dave would have been dead!”  
“Kurt, it was his choice. You didn’t tell him to do it. You didn’t encourage him. He had enough and he probably felt like it was the best option for him. You can’t blame yourself for it.”  
“You would have befriended him, Blaine...If it had been you, you would have become friends with him…”  
“Maybe yes, maybe not.”  
“You are the sweetest person I know, Blaine. Of course you would.”   
“I was raised in a gilded cage. Had I faced the reality the way you’d been through I wouldn’t be the same person I am now…You were a victim, Kurt. Don’t make yourself a bad guy.”  
“It was all for that stupid prom. If we hadn’t been elected prom king and queen, nothing of it would have happened.”  
“He needed to come to terms with himself. There could be something else to push him to the edge.” Kurt nodded and ate his salad in silence. It was the first time he’d told someone about Dave. He’d been feeling responsible for Dave’s suicide attempt for years but he’d kept it buried inside. It was a constant reminder of something bad in him and he hated it. Getting it out and realizing that Blaine still had a faith in him was liberating.   
“Do you know what happened to him after that?” Blaine brought Kurt back to Earth with his question.  
“His mother didn’t take it well. She thought he could be cured...His dad was great. He was a supporter. He finished his senior year of high school in Columbus where his older brother lived and then he left to California for college. He was a football coach at a high school in San Francisco the last time I talked to him. Engaged to be married. To a man.”  
“Wow. You know quite a lot.”  
“I visited him while he was in the hospital and we stayed in contact.”  
“You’re unbelievable, Kurt.”  
“Am I?”  
“Yeah, you definitely are.” Blaine laughed and shook his head. “You befriended him after all! I don’t get why you think you are a bad person. He tormented you, hate kissed you and you still became friends with him. You are sweet and caring. There is nothing in this world that could convince me about the opposite.”  
“I hope so.” Kurt whispered but Blaine heard it. The mood dropped radically since they climbed into the tree house and Blaine desperately wanted happy and excited Kurt back.  
“I guess it’s time for me to share my dreams and secrets now.” He smiled at Kurt and laid down next to his sitting figure. “When we were fourteen we talked about our dream date in here.”  
“Hmmm...that’s interesting. What was your dream date?”  
“A picnic in the park...I found it soooooo romantic.”  
“Have you ever had such a date?”  
“No. And since I developed some kind of social phobia I probably won’t have it in the future.”  
“Is it still your dream date?”  
“It is…”   
“My dream date is a classic music concert.”  
“What?” Blaine laughed. “A classic music concert?”  
“Yeah. When a guy takes you to a classic music concert it means that he isn’t a cultural barbar!”  
“I guess you had such a date.” Blaine said with a soft smile. “Adam didn’t seem to be a cultural barbar.”  
“Actually, I didn’t.” Kurt admitted. “He doesn’t like classical music and I wasn’t about to force him to go with me.”  
“Kurt, you attended a lot of crappy events for him. I think he could have survived one concert.”  
“Well, I wanted to be there with someone who would enjoy it as much as I do. Besides, for every event Rachel makes me go to, she owes me. And she likes classics.” Blaine returned to a sitting position, positioning himself crossed legs in front of Kurt.  
“What did you get from her for the party we met at?” He asked curiously.  
“I’ve never debt her for that one.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I got a lot from it for myself…”  
“Like what?”  
“You know,” Kurt started teasingly. “Nick and Jeff are exceptional friends.”  
“Is that so?”   
“You’re not a half bad friend yourself…”  
“Thanks. But I’m in second place behind them for you...”  
“Definitely not second place. You know, there is still Rachel and…” Kurt fell down with a yelp as Blaine flung at him and pinned him to the floor.  
“So which place I am at?” Blaine asked firmly with a smirk, ready to tickle Kurt if he wouldn’t like the answer. Kurt just stared at him. Blaine face was so close to his. He could feel Blaine’s breath on his cheek and he knew if he turned his head a little bit their lips…A bird flew inside and startled them. Blaine rolled off of him and watched the confused bird as it was trying to get out.  
“That never happened before.” Kurt started to laugh at Blaine’s amusement.   
“Don’t laugh at me.” Blaine pouted petulantly and Kurt laughed even harder. When he calmed down, he laid on his side to face the curly haired friend he had feelings for which he wasn’t afraid to admit anymore. Admit to himself, of course.  
“There are no places, Blaine. You are the most exceptional friend amongst the exceptional friends.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Kurt parked his car in the garage at Blaine’s apartment building. He noticed that Blaine was thoughtful and quiet on the way back from Ohio so the journey wasn’t as fun as it’d been on the way there but Kurt didn’t want to push. A lot had happened. A lot had been told and Kurt himself was confused where their friendship stood right now. There had been moments where Kurt could swear Blaine had been about to kiss him but he never did. Kurt was frustrated but at the same time he was afraid to ask Blaine what was going on.   
Blaine took his duffel bag from the trunk and they stayed awkwardly in the middle of the parking lot.  
“Well, I guess the trip is over.” Kurt noted, boring his eyes into Blaine’s.  
“It is.”  
“So, if I remember correctly I promised to go to the club with you...We can go tomorrow or...?”  
“I can’t, Kurt. I’m sorry.” Blaine interrupted him. “I rescheduled my recording. I’m starting tomorrow.”  
“But you were supposed to be free this week.”  
“I know but the sooner I record the album, the sooner it’ll be out.”  
“That means I won’t see you for a while.”  
“I’ll call you, okay?” Blaine was odd. He wasn’t maintaining eye contact and he acted like he couldn’t wait to be out of there. Kurt tried to recall if he had done something to him but there was nothing.   
“I should go. Thanks for taking me with you.”  
“Anytime.” Kurt said disheartened. “Can I get a goodbye hug?”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Kurt didn’t see Blaine for more than a week and he could honestly say that he was craving his presence. The phone contact was brief and work was the main topic of all of their phone calls. Kurt knew something was wrong, he just couldn’t tell what...that wasn’t entirely the truth. He might have an idea of why Blaine was being distant, yet he decided to ignore it.  
He was having beer with Nick and Jeff in their favorite bar that evening. He was looking forward to it since he hadn’t seen them for a while. He also wanted to find out if Blaine was being weird with them too. Maybe Blaine was only caught up in recording...Right?  
“Kurt! Kurt! Here!” Jeff shouted at him as soon as he stepped into the bar.  
“Hi guys.” Kurt greeted them with a smile and hug.  
“We were so happy when we got your text. You must be a busy journalist if you didn’t have time for us while even Blaine still managed to hang out... even though he spends endless hours in the studio.” Kurt froze.  
“What?” He asked cautiously, knowing that he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear. “What do you mean?”  
“We hung out with him like three times already since you got back from Ohio. Why didn’t you join us? Did you have lot of work?”  
“I didn’t. But I didn’t know you were hanging out. No one told me!”  
“Blaine said he would let you know!” Jeff defended him and Nick, throwing the guilt fully on Blaine.  
“Well, he apparently didn’t.” Kurt sighed brokenly. Blaine’s strange behaviour wasn’t a coincidence. He was sure of it now.  
“Kurt? Did you guys have another fight or something?”  
“No.” Kurt fervently shook his head. “I mean, he is a bit...reserved right now but I thought it was stress from recording. We don’t talk much. I send him a text every evening to call me when he is done and he always calls but he cuts it short...and he doesn’t call if I don’t remind him to via text…” Nick and Jeff exchanged confused look.   
“You sure nothing happened? Because Blaine sends us pictures from the recording studio pretty much daily and he calls us more than once a day. And he became good friends with your brother. They text and Skype often as well...”  
“With Finn?!” Kurt didn’t know whether to be shocked, amused or simply angry. His own straight step brother - who had met Blaine like two weeks ago - had more contact with Blaine than he did. Where the hell is justice in that?   
“Yeah. Blaine thinks he is a cool guy.” Nick shrugged his shoulder uncertainly. “Kurt, there must be something...Blaine wouldn’t be like this to you if…”  
“I almost kissed him.” Kurt cut in. He dropped his head and closed his eyes, trying not to cry because it was clear now. He had pushed too far. “There were those moments in Ohio...like when I was sure Blaine was going to kiss me but it never happened. We always got interrupted by something. And then he was silent on our way back and when we were saying goodbye he said he’d rescheduled his recording. I knew I wasn’t going to see him for a while so I was sad and we hugged. He wrapped his arms around me and he was holding me like he didn’t want to let me go. When he eased his embrace, I leaned forward and he jumped a few steps back and said goodbye pretty quickly. Since then it’s weird between us. I feel stupid. I probably made up everything in my head and none of those signs were real…”  
“They were.” Nick and Jeff said in unison.   
“You weren’t even there.”  
“We were here, Kurt.” Nick explained. “Since the very first day you met we knew it’s going to happen. He’ll come to his senses.”  
“Yeah, sooner or later.” Jeff added. “I hope for sooner. Watching you two dance around each other is frustrating.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Kurt didn’t text Blaine to remind him to call him the next day. He needed Blaine to call him on his own. He expected a silent treatment for a few days and maybe a call after Blaine would finish recording of his album. He surely didn’t expect getting a call close to midnight when he was a half way to a dreamland.  
“H’llo?” He murmured to the speaker, not checking who was calling.  
“Kurt? Oh my god! Are you sleeping? I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Kurt’s eyes shot open.  
“Blaine?”  
“Yes, it’s me. I’m so sorry, Kurt. I just got out of the studio. I didn’t realize how late it is.” Blaine apologized truthfully.  
“It’s okay. How was the recording session?”  
“It was great but it’s not why I’m calling. I need your help.”  
“Sure. What can I do for you?”  
“Nick and Jeff’s birthday are the next week. I always throw a party in the penthouse for them but I won’t be able to do it this year. Do you think you could help me with that? I’ll leave you my credit card in my apartment and you can do whatever you want. Order food and drinks and confetti or fireworks, I don’t care. Just please, help me.”  
“Of course I’ll help you.”  
“Thank you so much. You saved my life. I’ll leave a guest list with the credit card. Do you think we could have it next Friday? Eight p.m.?”  
“Will you be able to attend? We can wait until your recording is over.”  
“No. I’ll be able to come. Probably sharply at eight but I’ll come. It should be the last day of recording.”  
“Okay.”  
“Thanks, Kurt. You’re the best. I’ll let you sleep now. Good night.”  
“Goodnight, Blaine.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Things didn’t get better after that late night phone call. Whereas Kurt tried to involve Blaine into party planning through texts, Blaine responded that he trusted Kurt on this matter and that was as far as their conversations went.  
Kurt spent the whole Friday in Blaine’s apartment, doing all the party arrangements. He was accompanied by Rachel who waited for the birthday boys to come so she could sing Happy Birthday to them, give them their gifts and leave because she had an early morning flight to Ohio on Saturday. By the time Blaine got home, the penthouse was full of people. He waved to Kurt but was pulled into a conversation with his old friends so he didn’t even have a chance to say hello. Two hours later Kurt had spoken to every single guest but he didn’t say a word to the host. He caught Blaine looking at him but every time he tried to approach him, Blaine would excuse himself from the group of people he was talking to and moved to another. 

Thank you for doing this. The party is amazing. You’re the best. - B

A text. They were in the same room and he got a fucking text. He stormed out of the room on the terrace to calm down because he really didn’t want to cause a scene although Blaine was pushing his limits right now. Maybe he should have left with Rachel…  
“Hi.” A timid voice sounded next to him and Kurt took a deep breath.  
“Hi? You do realize it’s been over two hours since you came.” Kurt told Blaine coldly, not sparing him a single glance.  
“Kurt? What’s wrong?”  
“What’s wrong?! What’s wrong?! Why don’t YOU tell me what’s wrong!” Kurt yelled at him. “You barely talked to me while you were playing besties with my brother! You asked me for help, yet you wouldn’t even acknowledge my existence tonight! I fucked up, okay? I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you but couldn’t we at least have one fucking conversation about it before you shut me out?!” Kurt’s eyes were flashing fire at him. He was angry and hurt and Blaine himself told him that everybody makes mistakes, so why couldn’t he just forget about Kurt’s moment of weakness and be his adorable friend again? Blaine was blinking at him, evidently surprised at Kurt’s outburst. He opened his mouth but close it immediately.  
“Fuck! Just say something!” Kurt screamed but he didn’t get the answer. Blaine surged forward and connected their lips in a rough and needy kiss. As soon as Kurt’s mind caught up with his body, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s waist and pulled him closer while Blaine put one of his hands that were holding Kurt’s face around his shoulder. They inhaled sharply because it was kind of hard to breathe but Kurt didn’t care. Blaine was kissing him like he couldn’t get enough, his tongue smooth and soft in Kurt’s mouth but still demanding to taste more. Every time Kurt thought the kiss couldn’t get any better, Blaine would change the angle and deepen it even more. And Kurt responded with everything he had because finally he was having Blaine in his arms not just platonically. He was kissing him fiercely and passionately, not sure how long could they continue like this without getting some air to their lungs but he didn’t care about that either. What was the point of oxygen anyway when Blaine was such a great kisser? What was the point of being two when clearly they wanted to melt into each other right now? When Kurt felt that he was probably going to pass out, Blaine detached his lips from Kurt’s mouth and attacked his jawline and neck. He was kissing and licking, nibbling and sucking, forcing Kurt to fist his hand that was holding onto Blaine’s shirt, untucking it from his pants. The fingers of Kurt’s other hand that had been resting on Blaine’s waist until now brushed the skin of his lower back and that was the moment when Blaine froze.


	15. Chapter 15

In a split second Kurt felt how Blaine tensed. Before he could even think of what the hell was wrong, Blaine was ten feet away from him, looking pale and horrified.  
“Oh my god!” He whispered, his trembling hand covering his mouth. “Oh my god!”  
Kurt just stood there, trying to stop panting because Blaine had kind of rocked his world a few seconds ago and his mind didn’t really catch up with what was happening right now.  
“Kurt, I’m so sorry. So so sorry.” Blaine started apologising frantically. “This shouldn’t have...Fuck! It shouldn’t have happened!”  
It shouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have happened. Blaine’s words were echoing in Kurt’s head and Kurt knew he was just a second away from crying. He forced himself to close his eyes and took a calming breath.  
“Yeah.” He said, defeat evident in his voice. “It shouldn’t have happened.” He repeated and turned around for walkout.  
“No, Kurt, please, don’t go. I...fuck!” Blaine cursed, desperately searching for some coherent words but failing miserably.  
“Blaine?” Wes appeared at the door, completely soaked. “I think there is a problem with water in your bathroom.”  
“What the fuck, Wes?”  
“Hey! I haven’t done anything. It seems like the pipe broke or something.”  
“Which bathroom?”  
“Next to the kitchen.”  
“Great! Just great!” Blaine threw his hand into air and disbelievingly shook his head. This was exactly what he needed to deal with right now.  
“I’ll be right back, okay? Please, don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.” He told Kurt before he ran inside to control the damage. He stopped the water flow by shutting off valve in the downstairs bathroom and made a mental note to call a plumber the next day. And to give Wes How to fix household problems 101, because seriously, Dalton might be a great school but it really hadn’t prepared them for living a practical life at all. He rushed back to the terrace but when he got there, Kurt was gone. He went to the kitchen, where he hoped Kurt would be. The kitchen always made upset Kurt feel better. And Kurt was definitely upset about Blaine’s behaviour. That much was obvious. This time it wasn’t the kitchen where Kurt hid in from of the world. Blaine looked for him everywhere. He searched his whole apartment several times but it seemed like Kurt had disappeared into thin air.   
“Nick? I can’t find Kurt. Have you seen him?” Blaine asked his best friend when he ran into him on the staircase.  
“Kurt? He left like twenty minutes ago.”  
“What?!” Nick gave him a disapproving look that Blaine hated so much.  
“Don’t act so surprised. If you hadn’t ignored him the whole evening, he would still have been here. He apologized for leaving so soon but he apparently wasn’t feeling well. So you can congratulate yourself for being an asshole but there won’t be any more of Kurt tonight.”  
“I need to find him, Nick. Please, don’t destroy my apartment while I’m away.” Nick watched him intently and even his alcohol dazed brain could notice Blaine’s guilty features.  
“Blaine Devon Anderson, what the hell have you done?!”  
“Something stupid. You can yell at me for it later. I need to go and find him.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Rachel Berry was a woman of routines. Since her early age she’d always kept her schedule and she didn’t like to change it. She’d tried to be someone else once and it hadn’t fit her well. She’d ended up dating a male whore and it really wasn’t something she liked to think about. Rachel Berry needed eight hour beauty sleep before a flight. That’s the reason; she was peacefully sleeping in her bed while many of her friends were having fun at Nick’s and Jeff’s birthday party. She still found it amusing that the two of them were born in one week, and let’s say, she was a bit jealous that Kurt was two months older than her and she couldn’t share birthday parties with him. Nonetheless, no matter how much she loved Kurt, she was about to throw some serious fit at him for waking her up in the middle of the night. He knew better than anyone not to mess up with her sleep! She furiously walked to the door and opened it, spewing words before it got fully opened.  
“Kurt Hummel, I swear to god if you keep forgetting your keys I’ll...Blaine! Hi! What are you doing here?”  
“Emh...Hi, Rachel.” Blaine said quietly. “Sorry for waking you up. I was hoping for Kurt to open the door. I need to talk to him.” Rachel looked daggers at him. What the hell?!  
“He isn’t home. He is in YOUR apartment. At Nick’s and Jeff’s birthday party.” She hissed angrily. Wow, pissed Rachel was even worse than pissed Kurt and Blaine thought that there wasn’t anything more terrifying in this world than Kurt being mad.  
“Well, he left like less than an hour ago and I, ehm...his phone is off and...I might have upset him a bit and I’d like to apologize.”  
“He is not home, Blaine. If he is angry with you and he knows you might look for him he won’t come home. He is probably somewhere in the city. Go home and you can talk tomorrow.”  
“No, Rachel, you don’t understand. I need to talk to him tonight!”  
“Blaine,” Rachel gave up her firm demeanour because Blaine was giving her the puppy dog eyes and she had no choice but surrendered. “You know why Kurt and I get along so well? Why we are best friends? Because even though we are as different as two people can be, we are still very similar in some things. He is a diva. If he stormed out of the party he won’t calm down so soon so just let it be for tonight, okay?”  
“I can’t, Rachel.”   
“Okay. You can wait for him here but you will have to wait alone. I need to go back to sleep.”  
“I’m worried about him.”  
“He is a big boy. He knows the city very well. He’ll be fine. It’s not the first time he disappeared after a disagreement with someone. I’m used to it. Come in.”   
“Thanks but no thanks. I need to find him.”  
“Blaine, this is New York. How do you want to find him? He doesn’t have any particular space to go to when he is upset.” Blaine face lit up at that.  
“Oh my god, Rachel. That’s it!” Rachel frowned, not really getting what Blaine was talking about.  
“I gotta go. Have a nice flight! Bye.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Tears were streaming down his face and his head hurt from crying so much but he couldn’t find the strength to stop. There were only loud sobs recoiling in the otherwise silent room. Kurt felt pathetic. And stupid. He was heartbroken but the reason for his misery wasn’t Blaine’s rejection. He could live with rejection, it’s not like he’d never gone through something like that. What he hadn’t gone through before was losing a friend. And there was no way Blaine would treat him the same after those unfortunate events from the near past. How could he have put their whole relationship into jeopardy? So, so stupid. Damn it! Kurt was pissed. Pissed at himself, pissed at Blaine, pissed at the whole world. If he had any energy in him, he would probably kick something. Another heart wrenching sob was on its way out when the door of the loft opened and Blaine came in. Kurt jumped on his feet in an instant and wiped his tears quickly away.  
“Kurt?” Blaine asked gingerly, closely taking in Kurt’s dishevelled appearance. Kurt cleared his throat and kept his head up. He wasn’t going to break down in front of Blaine.   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would come here tonight. I’m just going to leave.”  
“No. Don’t go, I told you to come here whenever you want. Please, stay. I actually came here because I hoped I would find you here. We need to talk.”  
“I think there is nothing to talk about. You’ve made yourself pretty clear.”  
“No, Kurt. You don’t understand...”  
“I don’t understand? On the contrary, Blaine! I think I understand pretty well. It shouldn’t have happened! I got the message! What is there left to say? You kissed me and regretted it seconds later so please, don’t try to explain or apologize because it’s not going to make me feel any better!”  
“Kurt, it’s not like that…” Blaine tried to interrupt him but Kurt was stubborn as hell.  
“It’s not like that? And what is it like Blaine? You kissed me like you meant it and then you suddenly changed your mind! You fooled me into thinking that there was something more between us while we were in Ohio only to mostly ignore me after we came back. You changed me for my brother for God’s sake! It isn’t like that? So what is it like?!”  
“Of course it isn’t like…”  
“Well, I believe it is exactly the way I think it is and…”  
“Would you just shut up for a minute?!” Blaine shouted and surprised Kurt to the point where he closed his mouth.  
“Thank you. And sorry for yelling...Just give me few minutes of your time and then I’ll go.” Blaine took a deep breath and outstretched the hand he was keeping behind his back so far.  
“These are for you.” He held the bouquet of flowers that seemed to be halfway to death. “I know they are kind of...not so alive anymore but they are the best you can get at this hour at 24/7 down your street.” Kurt chuckled and took the flowers, his anger lapsing rapidly.  
“Thank you.” He whispered and new tears formed in his eyes, however this time he managed to keep them at the bay.  
“Well, I think I didn’t make myself clear enough on the terrace. What I meant was that it shouldn’t have happened like that. Not that it shouldn’t have happened at all because to be honest I wanted to kiss you for a long time. I...I had the plan. I decided to ask you out on the second day of our trip to Ohio. I talked to Finn when we went to buy the flowers for Carol. And we were brainstorming the ideas for the perfect date. I rescheduled the recording because I knew I wouldn’t be able to be in your presence without ruining the surprise and that is the reason why I acted so odd lately...I wanted to ask you out tonight after the party...I had this plan for tomorrow. I would take you out on a date and then walk you home and kiss you goodnight with hope that maybe you would like to go out with me again...I...I’m not good at this stuff, Kurt...Like romance and all. I’ve never really done something like that and I don’t know exactly what to do...I really care about you and the truth is that I need you in my life and if this isn’t something that you want then I hope that we can still be friends...Okay. I should probably get to the punchline because my cab is waiting outside and I need to go back home to prevent possible water damages...Kurt, will you go out with me tomorrow? Or today because it’s after midnight already but you know what I mean...” Blaine sent him a hopeful look with an unsure smile and the only response Kurt managed to give was nodding of his head.   
“Great! I’ll pick you up at six. Please, stay here till morning because Rachel was a bit pissed when I woke her up. Better let her leave for Ohio without any other incidents...or you can come back to the party with me…”  
“I think I’ll stay here.”  
“Okay...so good night. I’ll see you later.” Blaine waved to him and bit his lip, trying to suppress the big smile that was forming on his face.  
“See you later.” Kurt waited a few heartbeats to make sure Blaine was on his way back home before he squealed. He had a date with Blaine. He had a DATE with BLAINE! He turned his phone on to send some love to Finn and it immediately signalled a few voicemail messages and one text that made his smile even wider. All of them from Blaine, of course.

I forgot to tell you - the dress code is formal. Can’t wait to see you. x - Blaine   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Kurt buzzed Blaine in exactly at six p.m. He liked how punctual Blaine was. He had no idea where they were going because Blaine kept it a secret. They’d exchanged lots of texts during the day and Kurt couldn’t help but feel giddy all the time. Because, hey, he was having a date with Blaine! Yay!  
Blaine knocked on the door and Kurt opened it immediately. Blaine was standing there, stunning as ever in his dark grey suit and purple shirt, with a bouquet of lively looking flowers in his hands.  
“Hi.” Kurt greeted him with a smile.  
“Hi.” Blaine breathed back and handed him the flowers. “These are for you.”  
“Thank you. I love sunflowers.”  
“I know.” Blaine said proudly and Kurt giggled at the triumph written all over his face.   
“Come in while I put these in water, then we can go.”  
“Okay. The car is waiting in front of the building.” Kurt didn’t question him. He was pretty sure that Blaine wasn’t a driver of the car but he decided not to ask anything. Blaine had put a lot into the evening and Kurt just wanted to enjoy it.  
The car was a limo that took them to The Metropolitan Opera. Kurt was dumbstruck. Blaine played the big cards tonight.  
“What are we seeing?” Kurt asked breathlessly.  
“Puccini’s La Bohéme. Let’s go.” Kurt got out of the car and followed Blaine inside. They got into their box and Kurt couldn’t believe that he was on a date, with the most amazing man he’d ever had a pleasure to meet, in The Metropolitan Opera and their seats were on a balcony.  
“Which seats are ours?” Kurt asked after he took the view of the whole surrounding.  
“All of them.”  
“W-what?”  
“We have the whole box.”  
“But we don’t need six seats.”  
“I know but I wouldn’t be comfortable with others in here…” Blaine mumbled and Kurt internally cursed at himself. He should have known! He sat down on the seat in the front row and patted the chair next to him.  
“I like these two. What do you say?” He asked lightly, hoping that Blaine would forget about his stupid remark.  
“They’re great.” Blaine answered with a forced smile and sat down, his eyes fixed on the balcony on the opposite side of the theatre.   
“Blaine?” Kurt touched his knee to get his attention.  
“Yeah?” Blaine turned his head to face him, his smile still not reaching his eyes.  
“Thank you.” Kurt told him sincerely. “I don’t know how you managed to do this but I’m really happy that you did. This is amazing.”  
“You really like it?”  
“I absolutely LOVE it, Blaine.” Blaine smiled. This time for real and Kurt could see how his insecurities dropped away. He had his Blaine back.  
Kurt enjoyed the performance. It was mindblowing. The cast was incredible and Kurt was sucked into the story so much that he sometimes forgot where he was.  
Blaine enjoyed Kurt’s enjoyment. He watched his date and his reactions more than what was going on the stage but he’d seen this production of La Bohéme three times already so he knew he would be able to have a decent conversation about it with Kurt later.   
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kurt asked him as the intermission began. Blaine just couldn’t take his eyes off of him.  
“Because you’re beautiful.” Kurt sent him a shy smile and blushed. Blaine finally gathered the courage and brushed his fingers over Kurt’s hand. Kurt opened his palm and let Blaine’s fingers slipped into his and they stayed like that for the rest of the performance. They clapped a lot but they never forgot to lace their fingers when they stopped.  
Kurt talked passionately about the opera all the way to the restaurant they were dining in. He didn’t even realized where they were going until they stood in front of one of the best - if not the best - restaurants in the city. It was the moment Kurt halted and went speechless.  
“Before you say something,” Blaine told him gently. “I love this place and I know you will too. I come here often because they have the best food in the whole world.”  
“I believe that, Blaine, but I think it’s too much. We’ve already been to Opera. We can just go home and order pizza or something.” Kurt suggested.  
“Kurt, I know you’re not used to this. And I didn’t bring you here to show off or anything. I just really like it here. This is not a big deal for me. I literally grew up in here. If going inside would make you uncomfortable, then we won’t go but I want you to think of it as an ordinary restaurant that a guy who likes you takes you to for dinner, okay?” Blaine pleaded with him with his eyes and the realization suddenly hit Kurt in a full force. For Kurt it might be Blaine unnecessarily spending money on him while Kurt would love a sandwich in a snack bar as long as it would be with Blaine but for Blaine it was a common thing going to places like this. For Blaine this was a snack bar and Kurt knew he would have to get used to it if he wanted to be with Blaine. And he did want to be with him.  
“Let’s go inside.”  
Blaine was right. The restaurant had the best food in the whole world and the best wine in the whole world and probably the best staff in the whole world as well. They had their own private salon and the girl who was serving them was the sweetest waitress Kurt had ever seen. She also knew what Blaine’s usual order was so Kurt had a suspicion that Blaine had specifically requested her for the evening. Apart from the fact that Kurt had never been in a place like this and it made him nervous, dinner was lovely. Blaine apparently felt like home so Kurt was happy. They stayed until closing hours and then Blaine took Kurt home. He walked him to his door, their entwined fingers swinging between them.  
“Thank you.” Kurt said as they reached his apartment. “It was wonderful.”  
“I’m glad you liked it.” Blaine responded and leaned forward to capture his lips with Kurt’s. Something he’d been waiting to do for the whole night. It was a soft and sweet, lingering kiss, so different from the first one they’d shared the day before but shiver still went down Kurt’s spine. Blaine broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Kurt’s while Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine’s shoulders to bring him closer and Blaine dived in for another innocent kiss, just lips brushing lips, leaving them tingling and wanting for more. This time it was Kurt who stopped their kissing to whisper breathlessly: “Do you want to come inside?”   
It wasn’t a good thing to say though. Blaine stepped back and avoided the eye contact, which was enough of an indication for Kurt that he had once again said something stupid.  
“Blaine?” He cupped Blaine’s cheeks so he could look him in the eyes but Blaine closed them.  
“I don’t want you to be mad at me.” Blaine admitted quietly.  
“Why would I be mad?”  
“Because I’d rather go home…” Kurt hugged him. He hugged him tight and hoped the hug was comforting because he wasn’t sure whether words would be enough. Blaine hesitated for a moment but then he returned the hug and nuzzled his nose into Kurt’s neck and put a small kiss there.  
“It’s okay. I’m not mad...Would you maybe go out with me tomorrow?” Blaine sighed and eased into their embrace.  
“I’d love to, Kurt, but I’m supposed to attend this gala in the ev…”  
“I know. I was thinking that maybe we could have lunch together?” Kurt proposed tentatively.  
“Yeah. Definitely.”  
“So, I’ll pick you up at noon. How does it sound?”  
“Great.” Blaine kissed him one more time before saying good night and leaving. Kurt couldn’t sleep that night. Firstly, he was on an adrenaline rush from the date and secondly, he was thinking about what to do with Blaine’s insecurities. He thought Blaine had made progress but apparently as the dynamics changed between them, they were back again...


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine changed his outfit five times until he was somewhat satisfied with his look. Kurt texted him to dress casual but he wasn’t really sure what casual meant for Kurt. Kurt’s clothes never looked casual...He was afraid he would screw something up. Their date was great but Blaine still felt like he’d disappointed Kurt. Maybe opera and a fancy dinner was too much...Maybe it was too formal…Maybe Kurt would have rather done something else with their evening…Maybe...Maybe Blaine was just overreacting. Kurt wouldn’t have invited him inside if he hadn’t meant it. And he wouldn’t have asked him out for lunch if the idea of a date with Blaine would repulse him.   
Blaine slumped on the sofa with a groan. He needed to stop thinking for a while. How could someone turn their brain off?  
There was a ring of the home phone and a doorman informed him that Kurt was on his way up. Full of expectations, Blaine stood in the hallway, waiting for the elevator door to open. He was more nervous than the day before because now he wasn’t the one in charge. He didn’t have things under control and it made him anxious. Kurt came in with a shy smile.   
“You know you’re on the list of visitors that can always come up, right? No need for a doorman to check with me...”   
“Yeah, I know. But I wanted to pick you up for a date properly. I didn’t like the idea of stepping out of your elevator without you expecting me…”  
“I was expecting you.”  
“You know, what I mean.” He kissed Blaine’s cheek and gave him a box of chocolate pralines. “I know you’re not one for flowers so…”  
“Thank you. These are my favourite.” Blaine said softly and leaned forward to kiss Kurt’s cheek in return.  
“I know.” Kurt told him with a smirk. “Can we go?”  
“Sure. Where are we going?”  
“You’ll see.” Blaine nodded and followed Kurt to the elevator. He was surprised when Kurt pushed the button for garage. He wanted to ask once again what Kurt plan for them was but he didn’t. They made a small talk, which Blaine was happy for because he wasn’t able to concentrate on anything complicated. His heart was beating fast as he watched the city outside the window. He wasn’t ready for having lunch anywhere in public. They had always had lunch in their apartments so far. Kurt had never taken him out. He wouldn’t do that now, would he? There were only a few restaurants Blaine was comfortable to eat at and he was pretty sure none of them was on Kurt’s list of possible places for lunch...He was so locked up in his own head that it took him a while to realize that he knew where they were going.  
“Are we having lunch with the kids?” He asked when Kurt parked the car in front of H&C House.  
“It’s Sunday, Blaine. Kids are at home today. No one is here.” Kurt answered and got out of the car. Blaine slowly did the same and joined him as he was opening the trunk.  
“Could you please hold this?” Kurt handed him a blanket and pulled out a picnic basket.   
“Kurt, you…”  
“I know it’s not a park, but the garden is large enough and....” Blaine’s laugh stopped his rambling and he was glad when Blaine took his hand and dragged him behind the big house. The moment Blaine was positive that there was no chance anyone from the street could see them;he captured his lips with Kurt’s. Kurt almost dropped the basket because of the sudden movement but he managed to keep it in his hand while enjoying Blaine’s soft kisses. Blaine was smiling and Kurt loved smile filled kisses. He loved that Blaine apparently liked their date even though it had barely started. He loved that tension that had been in Blaine’s posture up until now disappeared. He loved that he did something right for Blaine.  
“Thank you.” Blaine said breathlessly. “I can’t believe you took me for a picnic.”  
“Well, we can call it picnic only if you let me go so I can unfold the blanket and prepare our lunch.” Kurt teased him, not really minding being in Blaine’s arms at all.   
“I like this spot.” Blaine announced and pointed at the grass right where they were standing, making Kurt laugh.  
“There is much better place by the tree. What do you say?” Kurt took the blanket from his hands and walked to the big lime-tree he had his eyes on. Blaine watched him with a soft expression on his face. Kurt carefully placed the blanket on the ground before he put the basket on it and sat down, beckoning Blaine to join him. Blaine was by his side in an instant. He was so adorable, giddy and bashful that Kurt had to beat the urge to forget about lunch and just make out with the amazing man sitting next to him. He had some manners though. He’d asked Blaine out for lunch so they would have lunch. After that, they could do other things...which Kurt was especially excited about. Not that he wasn’t excited about lunch or the mere concept of being in Blaine’s presence but now, after he’d got the glimpse of how Blaine’s lips tasted and how they so perfectly fit with his own, he kind of couldn’t think of anything that he’d rather be doing than kissing him.  
“What’s for lunch?”   
“We have cheese and salmon spreads with baguettes. Then there are tuna sandwiches and PBJ sandwiches, fruit salad, cupcakes and cookies and homemade lemonade. Later we can grab a coffee just across the street as usual when we are here.”  
“Sounds great.” Blaine took a bite of one of the sandwiches and ate it with a content smile. He tasted a bit of everything Kurt had prepared for them. Kurt himself didn’t eat much. His stomach was tightened from all the nerves he had dealt with during the night when he’d been trying to figure out why Blaine’s insecurities returned. The idea that he couldn’t afford to do anything wrong today wasn’t helping his appetite at all. He knew that one bad comment could ruin everything and he simply couldn’t risk it. There was no way he would screw something up.   
“Are you going to eat something or will you just stare at me?” Blaine asked him when he couldn’t handle Kurt’s gaze anymore. “I feel like I’m not supposed to touch the food…”   
“No! Of course you can touch the food. It’s your lunch!”   
“I thought it was OUR lunch, Kurt…” Blaine noted softly and offered Kurt a piece of apple that was stuck on his fork. “This salad is delicious. You should try it.”  
“It’s just sliced fruit, Blaine.”   
“It’s amazing. Here.” He started to feed him and Kurt actually managed to get something down his throat.   
“See? It’s not so complicated.” Blaine smirked but continued in delivering food right into Kurt’s mouth until he was satisfied with how much Kurt ate. They put leftovers back into the basket and then they lay on their sides on the blanket.  
“Thank you.” Blaine’s eyes were shining at Kurt, his fingers playing with a linden blossom that fell down from the tree. “This is incredible.”   
“One day I’ll take you to the park...when you are comfortable with it, I’m going to take you for a picnic to the park.” Kurt promised seriously.  
“I don’t think anything could top this, Kurt. This is perfect…”  
“I’m glad you like it.”  
“I’m sorry I didn’t take you to the classic music concert. I already had tickets to the opera when we talked about it...” Blaine was still fiddling with the small flower, his nervousness radiating from him and making him even cuter in Kurt’s point of view.   
“Blaine, yesterday was perfect.”  
“Yeah, but I might be a cultural barbar for all you know…” Kurt laughed at him. By the smile Blaine was wearing Kurt was pretty sure he was just kidding but the hint of seriousness in his voice when he had said it made Kurt wondering whether Blaine was just being ridiculous or not.  
“You’re not a cultural barbar. I would never think something like that about you.” Kurt told him and outstretched his hand to run it through his curls. They stayed silent for a while, content in their own little world. Blaine closed his eyes and let Kurt toy with his hair, taking in the feeling of being cared for. Kurt scooted closer to him and slowly moved his fingers from Blaine’s forehead, leaving the curls there, to his nose and then cheek. He even caressed Blaine’s lips with his thumb although he wasn’t breathing while doing that. He didn’t think he’d ever been so mesmerized by something or someone as he was mesmerized by Blaine. Apart from the fact that Blaine was a very handsome man, there was something else that Kurt was drawn to. Blaine’s kindness and sweetness were what made other attractive guys just a hollow shadow in comparison.   
“Can I kiss you?” Kurt whispered shyly. He needed Blaine’s consent. He wanted nothing more than to get lost in Blaine but he still had to make sure they were on the same page.  
“Yeah.” Blaine breathed without opening his eyes and Kurt closed the gap between them. It was slow and timid at first but soon it became heated and Kurt pressed his mouth on Blaine’s more forcefully, licking his lower lip. The tip of their tongues met and that was the moment when Kurt completely lost control over his body. He pushed Blaine on his back, laying half on top of him and literally devouring his mouth. He was in heaven. Blaine tasted so good. He couldn’t get enough. There wasn’t anything like getting enough of Blaine. It was impossible to ever get enough of him. He’d spent twenty-three years of his life without Blaine and he just knew he wouldn’t ever be able to make up for the lost time. Kurt was so engulfed in kissing Blaine that he missed the sudden change in Blaine’s body.  
“K-Ku….mmmmpppphh...Kur…” Blaine never realized how hard it was to talk into the kiss. What he did realize was that he was probably going to break the best kiss he’d ever got but he had to move his head slightly to get out of Kurt’s kissing attack. “Kurt, please stop.”  
Kurt immediately rolled down off him, his chest rapidly moving up and down.   
“I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, Blaine.” He whispered brokenly, not daring as much as look at him. A few heartbeats that followed Kurt spent in fear. He was expecting Blaine to say to take him home and never speak to him ever again. Blaine caught his breath and positioned himself on his side to look at Kurt but Kurt was lying on his back, gazing to the sky.  
“What are we, Kurt?” Blaine asked. His voice didn’t sound angry which gave Kurt hope that maybe he hadn’t fucked up so much. “Are we officially dating? Or is it just casual dating? Are we boyfriends or…?”  
Kurt turned his head to the left and locked his eyes with Blaine.  
“Well, I wasn’t planning on seeing other people while going on dates with you...Is that what you want? To see other people? I mean, we don’t have to put any label on us…”  
“But I want to put a label on us.” Blaine interrupted him. “I don’t want to go on dates without knowing whether we are together or not. We’ve known each other for months. It’s not like we met a week ago. I wanna be with you. Only you. I have no interest in seeing other people.”  
“Me neither.”  
“So can we be boyfriends?”  
“You want to be my boyfriend?” Kurt asked, having a little trouble with processing what Blaine had just said.  
“I’d love to...if you want me to be.”   
“Yes! Of course I want you to be!” Kurt exclaimed and almost kissed him but stopped half way to Blaine’s lips. The last time he’d kissed Blaine hadn’t gone well so he opted for kissing Blaine’s cheek instead and waiting what Blaine’s next step would be.  
“I need us to go slowly, though…I don’t want to rush anything.” Kurt listened to him intently, not sure what Blaine had in his mind. “Yesterday, when you invited me over...I couldn’t go inside. I just knew the things would have gone further than kissing and I would have regretted it.”   
Kurt stood up and took a few steps away from him, showing him his back. He didn’t know whether to be hurt or angry or offended. He was kind of all of the three.  
“Kurt?” He turned around to face Blaine, his arms folded on his chest.   
“You think I would force you into something? We had an amazing time together and I didn’t want the evening to end! I didn’t ask you to come in so I could have my way with you, Blaine! We could just sit and talk. We didn’t even have to kiss! I didn’t invite you for sex! Fuck! What do you think about me?!” Blaine jumped on his feet and rushed to him, cupping his cheeks with his hands and wiping angry tears that were streaming down his face with his thumbs.  
“No, Kurt. I didn’t think that...Shit...I’m really not good at this…” Blaine kissed him chastely, tasting the saltiness of the tears on his lips and rested their foreheads together before he spoke again.  
“I know you wouldn’t force me. I trust you, Kurt. I trust you more than anyone. I know that the moment I’ll say stop, you’ll stop. The thing is that it takes a lot of power to say it. Had I gone with you inside yesterday, I wouldn’t have said no to anything. And if we had ended up doing something, I would have regretted it in the morning. I rushed into things in the past and I don’t want to do the same mistakes with you. I can’t afford to experiment with you. You’re too important for me.”  
“Blaine, we don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. We can just hug or hold hands…Whatever you need…”   
“I love kissing you, Kurt. You have no idea how much. We just have to watch out with the intensity of it because things can escalate pretty quickly.”  
“You know, for someone who is very eloquent while communicating with medias, you suck in expressing your thoughts in private life…” Kurt noted with a chuckle and Blaine giggled.  
“It’s because you make me nervous…” Blaine admitted silently. “I don’t want to make things bad between us but I still do that unintentionally.”  
“Well, I should stop jumping to conclusions when it comes to you and wait for your explanation.”  
“That would help a lot…” They both laughed and Blaine pressed one more kiss on his lips before leading him back to the blanket. This time Blaine snuggled to Kurt’s side and put his head on his chest. Kurt’s fingers returned to his hair and once again everything was perfect.  
“My parents are coming to the city tomorrow.” Blaine said lightly. “They called me this morning. We are having dinner…”  
“That’s great. I know how much you miss them…”   
“I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come with us?”  
“I don’t know, Blaine...I mean, I’d love to meet them but you probably have so little time to spend with them that I don’t want to impose…”  
“I’d love you to come. If imposing is the only reason you don’t want to go, then I can assure you that you won’t be. It would mean a lot to me if you joined us.”  
“Okay.”  
“Okay? Just like that?” Blaine raised his head to look at him. “I was ready to bribe you with kisses…” He said with a pout.  
“Well, you can still do that.” Kurt lifted himself on his elbows and waited for Blaine to lean forward. They exchanged sweet kisses for a while. There were no worries of screwing something up, no doubts about exactly what they were, no uncertainty in what they were doing. Right there, under the big linden on the soft blanket, they were an ordinary couple, enjoying each other’s company in the sunny afternoon.  
“There is something more I want to ask you…” Blaine whispered after they detached themselves because their swollen lips needed a rest.  
“What is it?”  
“I’m flying to L.A. next month. I have music video shooting scheduled for my first single from the album...Nick and Jeff are going with me. They have a cameo in it. Will you go with us? I mean, if your work allows it, of course.”  
“To L.A.? For how long?”  
“A week. You have a couple of friends there, don’t you? Maybe you could visit them while we are working…”  
“L.A. God, I haven’t been there for years.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“I don’t want to be a burden, Blaine. You are going there for work…”  
“Stop it! Why would you be? I want you there with me. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t...Look, this is the worst time to start a relationship and I’m aware of it but I couldn’t wait any longer. I was afraid you would meet someone else while I’d be taking care of things with the new album...I’m going to do a lot of promo stuff and there’ll be some concerts after the album comes out and maybe a tour as well. We haven’t decided about that yet. It won’t be easy...You work mostly from home so I’d like you to travel with me when I’ll be away from New York for more than a few days.”   
“That sounds amazing. It really does but I’m not sure I could afford it. I’ll go with you as much as I’ll be able to. Okay?”   
“Oh, don’t worry about that...” Blaine started but Kurt shook his head in protest.  
“No, Blaine! You’re not paying for me so don’t even bother.”  
“Kurt, I have a private plane because I can’t stand flying in the plane full of people even though it’s first class. So there is always room for others to come with me. And I always have a suite in hotels...so there is always a spare bed...and my bed is big enough for us as well so whatever you prefer. It’s paid for anyway, Kurt. I know you don’t like the idea of me spending money on you and I respect that. But I need you to respect that I do have money and it’s not a big deal for me to use it to make me or someone else happy. Having you with me makes me happy, so if you think about it I’m not spending money on you but I’m spending it selfishly on me.”  
“That’s not fair!” Kurt hit his shoulder. “How can I argue with that?”   
“That’s it. You can’t! I won!” Blaine clapped his hands and Kurt had to laugh at him. Yeah, making Blaine happy was everything he wanted to do.


	17. Chapter 17

Kurt was ten minutes early but he decided it was better than to be ten minutes late. He felt like he was going to be sick. He finally understood why Blaine had been so nervous the first night in Ohio. Meeting parents was intimidating. He was dressed in his second best suit and it was simple something he wasn’t okay with but he wore his best suit on his date with Blaine on Saturday and he couldn’t be seen in one suit two times in a row. He just hoped Blaine’s parents wouldn’t mind and that he would fit in to whatever fancy restaurant they chose for dinner.   
Kurt walked to the doorman and asked him to announce his arrival. He looked at Kurt like he was crazy because everybody in the building knew that there were three people who could come up to Blaine’s penthouse anytime without notification from the stuff and Kurt was one of them but he did what Kurt wanted.   
“Mr Anderson is expecting you.” The doorman said formally and Kurt thanked him. He wasn’t sure which of the two Mr Andersons the doorman was referring to but in the end it didn’t matter. Technically, it was still Blaine’s parents apartment so Kurt wasn’t about to just march in there. He needed to make a good impression...Should he kiss Blaine’s mother’s hand when they met? That was probably something gentleman would do. Blaine would have definitely kissed Carol’s hand if she hadn’t hugged him before he had had a chance to do so. He didn’t have time to think about a proper hello to Blaine’s father because the elevator stopped and he was met with two pairs of eyes watching him.  
“You must be Kurt.” A woman with a velvet voice said and came to him. “I’m Victoria and this is my husband Frederic.” She kissed his cheeks and smiled sweetly at him. Kurt recognized the smile immediately. It was Blaine’s smile that always calmed him down.  
“Nice to meet you Mrs and Mr Anderson” Kurt uttered and shook a hand Blaine’s father was offering.  
“Oh, please, call us Vicky and Freddie, okay?” Blaine’s father told him and ushered him to the living room.  
“Is he here? Is he here?” Someone yelled from upstairs and then Kurt heard steps running down the stairs, probably taking two at the time.  
“Oh my god! I’ve been dying to meet you, man.” A tall man wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders. “So you’re the one my baby brother can’t shut up about...I’m Cooper, by the way.”   
“K-Kurt.” Kurt stuttered. Where the hell was Blaine?! Kurt didn’t know what to do. He was standing in the same room with the parents of his boyfriend which was stressful enough without Blaine’s famous brother being there as well.   
“Nick and Jeff were right. You look like a model!” Cooper checked him out, making him blush.  
“Cooper!” Blaine shouted as he came to the room.  
“What? You know it’s true.” Cooper grinned at him.  
“Hi.” Kurt greeted him. “Wh-“  
“Hello? Is anybody here?” Kurt and Blaine exchanged surprised looks. Was that Nick’s voice? “Here you are!” Nick and Jeff entered the living room, hugged everyone like it was the most natural thing to do and sat down on the sofa.  
“What are you guys doing here?” Blaine asked them as politely as he could while being totally pissed.  
“Aren’t we having family dinner? Your brother invited us. Didn’t you know we would come?” Nick was giving him innocent eyes and Blaine knew his brother and two best friends were up to something.  
“I didn’t know my brother would come until he showed up two hours ago!”  
“Hey! You sound like you’re not happy that I made time for my family in my busy schedule.”  
“There was no point of you coming to NY only to fly back to L.A. tomorrow morning!”  
“Boys, stop it. We can all have dinner together. Like we always do.” Vicky said to calm them down.  
“Blaine, hurry up. Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Jeff prompted him, taking in Blaine’s half buttoned shirt. “I’m hungry.”  
“I need Kurt to help me choose a bowtie.”  
“Sure.” Kurt nodded and followed Blaine upstairs, glad that he could leave the room. God, what the hell did he get himself into? He thought he was meeting his boyfriend’s parents but as it turned out he was having some sort of family dinner and he couldn’t help but feel redundant. And Blaine didn’t even hug him. Was Blaine keeping them secret in front of his family? Was that what he wanted? Kurt had already told his family about them yesterday. Would Blaine be mad at him? Maybe they should have discussed it. Apparently being boyfriends meant for Blaine something completely different than what Kurt’s definition of the word was.  
Blaine walked to the first room and closed the door. He kissed Kurt’s lips softly and then hugged him, not letting him go for a solid minute.  
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know those morons were going to come. My parents told Cooper we were having dinner with you and he just made it here. I should have expected that Nick and Jeff would come with us as well. My parents always take all of us for dinner. They’re like their sons…”  
“It’s okay, Blaine. Your parents are really nice and I guess I can survive having dinner with the Hollywood most beloved young actor.” Blaine snorted at that. His brother was an idiot. He just knew how to charm everyone.  
“Come on. Let’s pick up a bowtie…” Kurt stopped mid-sentence as Blaine took a blue bowtie out from his pocket.  
“I’ve already done that. I just needed an excuse to have a second with you alone.”  
“Okay, here, let me.” Kurt tied the bowtie around his collar. “You look amazing.”  
“You do too.” Blaine complimented him shyly and leaned in for another chaste kiss. “Let’s go.”  
Kurt didn’t expect Blaine to take his hand but he still felt little sad when Blaine didn’t do it. He put on a happy face though. He had parents and a brother to please so there was no time for being in a bad mood.  
“I wanna sit next to Kurt in the car!” Cooper announced in a tone that didn’t give Blaine any chance to object. “I read your articles. You’re really good with words.”  
“Thank you.”  
“You’re very welcome. Here,” Cooper opened the door to the limo and motioned Kurt to get on. Then he occupied the seat next to him, continuing in the conversation or monologue, because Kurt didn’t say anything. He tried to stay focused on what Blaine’s brother was talking about but his attention got distracted by the intense gaze of Blaine’s father. He seemed nice enough but Kurt couldn’t tell whether he got on his good or bad side. What if Blaine’s father hated him already? A lot of people judged him before they got to know him…  
Nick, Jeff and Blaine were having a jolly conversation with Blaine’s mother, none of them sensing Kurt’s discomfort. Man up, Hummel. You’ve been through worse…Kurt gave himself a pep talk and took a deep breath.  
“He can get too much after a while, can’t he?” Freddie asked Kurt, understanding written on his face.  
“No, not at all.” Kurt answered quickly.  
“You can tell the truth, Kurt. We all know him.” He laughed and Kurt’s tension eased a little. “When he moved out to L.A., we were looking for moments of silence. Then Blaine started to hang out with Nick and Jeff and it was like we got two more Coopers.”  
“HEY!” Jeff mocked offense and winked at Kurt. “Don’t make us sound bad. Kurt loves us!”  
“I’m pretty sure he does.” Vicky joined the conversation and turned to face Kurt. “So Kurt, how do you remain sane while being round the three of them? I find it extremely difficult.”  
“Well, my best friend Rachel can be a bit overwhelming so I’m used to it. I’ve had a lot of training during the years.”  
“Rachel would kill you if she heard that.” Nick noted with a grin.  
“And she would say that you can be a diva as well.” Jeff added.  
“Never said I’m not” Kurt admitted and Blaine nodded, which didn’t go unnoticed by others.  
“Do you want to say something on the matter, Blainey?” Jeff asked teasingly and Kurt sent him the ‘don’t you dare’ glare.   
“Well, not really. Just that sometimes you can’t explain yourself before Kurt makes up his mind about the situation and gives you the cold shoulder…”  
“Like when?” Nick loved squirming Blaine. He wasn’t about to give up on this topic. The evening just got interesting.  
“Like on Friday, when he left the party.” Blaine said quietly, not looking at Kurt at all and already planning how to get out of the dog house. He was so screwed.  
“Oh, that doesn’t count. That was your entire fault.” Jeff took Kurt’s side without batting the eye. “Kurt wouldn’t have left OUR birthday party if you hadn’t done something very stupid.”  
“What have you done?” Cooper was curious.  
“Nothing, it was just a misunderstanding.” Kurt said firmly and Nick and Jeff knew their fun was over. The topic was closed. Blaine mouthed Sorry to him and Kurt gave him a weak smile. The evening had just begun and Kurt was already exhausted.  
The car stopped in front of the restaurant Kurt and Blaine had had dinner at on Saturday. Kurt was relieved. It was at least more or less familiar environment. They were taken into a private salon and this time Blaine claimed the seat next to Kurt. While others got seated Blaine whispered sorry to Kurt once again and Kurt snapped.  
“Stop saying you’re sorry. You’re making me even more nervous.” He hissed quietly so others wouldn’t hear him.  
“I’m sor…okay. I’ll just shut up.” Blaine squeezed his knee under the table in attempt of giving some kind of comfort to him but he was sure it wasn’t enough.  
“So Kurt, you’re from Ohio, right?” Vicky decided it was finally time to get Kurt involved in some decent talk which boys had failed in miserably so far.  
“Yeah I’m from Lima.”  
“I was there a few times.” Freddie said. “It’s quite a nice town, isn’t it?”  
“Well, I couldn’t wait to get out of there, actually. I used to hate it there.”  
“Oh…Why? I met a few people from Lima and they were all nice.”  
“Then you were lucky. There are nice people in Lima but there are also a lot of bad people there…I mostly interacted with meanies.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that.”  
“It was years ago. No big deal.”  
“Kurt!” Blaine warned him. “Stop underestimating the situation.”  
“I’m not.” Kurt protested. “It happened. Nothing I can do about it now…”  
“What happened?” Cooper asked, not liking how Blaine’s body tensed when Kurt just shrugged his shoulders.  
“I was bullied a bit.”  
“He had it worse than Tommy.” Blaine cut in angrily. “He just acts like it was nothing.”  
“I didn’t. I wasn’t beaten up. I didn’t end up in the hospital with spinal cord damage, Blaine.”  
“Tommy had it bad for a year. You’ve been bullied since you were a child!” They were arguing, not realizing that the rest of the table was staring at them with big eyes.  
“What?” Blaine snapped at them.  
“You told Kurt about Tommy?” Nick asked, clearly disbelieving.  
“I did.”  
“Okay. Maybe we should talk about something else.” Kurt suggested.  
“Did you enjoy the opera?” Blaine’s father changed the topic and took a bite from the appetizer that waiter just served them.  
“I did. It was amazing.”  
“I’m glad. When Blaine called me that he needed a company balcony I wasn’t sure I’d manage to do that in such a short notice.”  
“A company balcony” Kurt didn’t understand.  
“It’s one of our benefits for employees. The company gives them free tickets for performances.”  
“You took tickets from people so we could have the whole box?” There was an accusation in Kurt’s voice and Blaine had the need to defend himself.  
“I bought six tickets and sent it to the HR department. They did get their tickets, just different seats. I couldn’t get tickets for the whole balcony because in each of them were at least two seats already taken. What was I supposed to do? Wait six months for us to go?”  
“You’ve been to Opera? When? Why didn’t you take us with you?” Nick pouted.  
“On Saturday. And it was Le Bohéme. You’ve seen it three times already with me…”  
“You still could tell us…”  
“Guys, you can’t expect them to take you with them on a date. Let them breathe a little.” Vicky scolded them.  
“A date?” Jeff squealed.  
“A date? A DATE?! Like a date date?” Nick threw a napkin at Blaine. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell us?”  
“Nicolas! Watch your mouth!” Vicky used her mother status and Nick murmured an apology.  
“We haven’t had a chance yet.” Blaine responded and sent him the napkin back.  
“You told your parents who live in Europe! How come you didn’t tell us?” Kurt lowered his head to hide a big smile that was spreading on his face. Blaine had told his parents. Blaine wasn’t hiding their relationship. He wasn’t embarrassed by Kurt, which was Kurt’s biggest fear.  
“So are you like an item now?” Jeff took his phone out of his pocket, tapping something on the display.  
“We are.” Blaine confirmed.  
“We gotta call Rachel. It’s a month, Nick. We were right!”  
“You took your time. Gosh, I thought this day would never come.” Nick sighed and shook his head. “Wait, was this supposed to be like the meet the parent’s dinner?”  
“It was.”  
“Jeez, sorry guys.” Nick said, not being sorry at all. “You know how we love mamma and papa Anderson. They’re more of parents to us than our own…Couldn’t miss the opportunity to see them.”  
“But you know it’s your fault, Blainey.” Jeff remarked. “Had we known you and Kurt were a couple, we wouldn’t have come…”  
“We don’t mind you here, do we?” Kurt looked at Blaine, waiting for his affirmation.  
“Oh my god! They already use WE!” Nick clapped his hands and laughed at Blaine’s glare.  
“WE do mind you here. Would you just shut up and let us enjoy the meal?”   
“Us as us all or us as you and Kurt?” Cooper teased him, earning an olive flying in his direction.  
“You know,” Blaine father leaned closer to Kurt. “We thought they would grow up but it hasn’t happened yet. They’re still acting like they are fifteen. I really appreciate that you are willing to stick with them even though they are absolutely crazy. They need someone sensible in their lives.”  
“HEY!” The Anderson brothers with Nick and Jeff protested unison but Kurt ignored them.  
“I have a brother who is very similar to them. They can do nothing to surprise me.”  
“Maybe you could give us some advice on how to deal with them...we haven’t found the right key yet.”  
“It’s easy. You just have to be strict and have something to threaten them with.”  
“Yeah, like it works.” Nick sniffed at Kurt’s words.  
“Nicky?” Kurt asked with a sweet voice and Blaine hoped Nick wouldn’t fall for it.  
“Yeah?”  
“Would you like the number of that cute blondie volunteer from H&C House?”  
“Shit!” Nick cursed silently. “Guys, I guess we have to behave ourselves. I really, really need to take that girl out. She is stunning.” Cooper and Jeff nodded with compassion. Kurt could be such a buzz kill.  
“See? Works like a charm.”   
Blaine loved the rest of their evening. They talked and laughed, Kurt finally relaxed and he held his hand under the table between meals. Everything was perfect until Kurt said he wouldn’t go with them back to Blaine’s apartment. Blaine was disappointed. He hoped he could convince Kurt but it was impossible. Kurt was having a meeting with someone who he was interviewing for his new article in the morning and he needed to go home. They said their goodbyes with a promise to meet again soon while Blaine’s parents were in the city and then it was the time for Kurt to get on a cab.  
“I’m going to miss you.” Blaine told him as he opened the door of the car for Kurt.  
“I’m going to miss you too. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Enjoy the day with your family and I’ll see you on Wednesday or Thursday.”  
“It’s too far away…” Blaine complained.  
“It isn’t. It’s one or two days from now.”  
“Call me when you get home.”  
“I will.” Kurt promised and Blaine knew he had to let him go. He looked around and though the street was almost empty and nobody beside the group of people he was there with was taking any interest in them, he still didn’t dare to kiss Kurt goodnight properly. He decided to at least hug him and peck his cheek. One day though. One day he would be brave enough to act like Kurt’s boyfriend in public.  
“You know little brother, I was expecting more from you. A hug? The guy is probably the hottest piece of ass in the city! What’s wrong with you?”  
“Shut up, Coop!” Blaine ordered and took out his phone to text Kurt how he missed him already.


	18. Chapter 18

The trip to L.A. was enjoyable. Kurt got to meet Mercedes and Puck - his old glee club friends - and they took him clubbing three days in a row while Blaine, with Nick and Jeff, were working their asses of on the set. Cooper claimed Kurt for a day and showed him Universal Studios from an actor’s point of view and though Kurt had been a bit afraid of spending the whole day with Blaine’s brother, it turned out to be much more entertaining than he initially had hoped for.   
He didn’t spend much time with Blaine. There wasn’t a minute he didn’t have some plans for. It was a little frustrating for Kurt. He thought about how Blaine wanted him to travel with him but Kurt didn’t see the appeal. He could easily be without Blaine in New York with as much time as they weren’t spending together. There was no point in going anywhere if he didn’t get to see him either way. They shared the bed, a quick morning kiss and that was it. Kurt could also tell how Blaine was trying to make some time for Kurt but he wasn’t able to do that and then he seemed to be sad, as if he thought Kurt was blaming him for it. Which he wasn’t, of course. It was Blaine’s job and that was it. Kurt understood. And he told Blaine so, he just wasn’t sure whether Blaine believed him or not.  
Kurt was finishing the last touches on the present he just wrapped for Blaine since it was their one month anniversary when he heard insistent knocking on the door. He opened them and found Cooper standing there.  
“Hi.” Kurt greeted him, surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”  
“I’m here to pick you up.” Cooper grinned at him.  
“I’m waiting for Blaine...he should come any minute…”  
“That’s where you’re wrong. Blaine is on his way to my stylist. Come on, lets go.”  
“Where is he?!”  
“He and the guys got an invitation for the birthday party of some producer...big name in business, you know. They couldn’t decline. Blaine is singing for him. Last minute arrangements.”  
“Oh…” Kurt tried to hide his disappointment. It was Blaine’s job. They could celebrate their anniversary in New York. “Okay. I’ll call Puck if he is free tonight.”  
“Why would you call him to see whether he is free when you’re not?”  
“I’m not? You’ve just said that Blaine is attending the party…” Kurt was confused. He still had some troubles in catching up with Cooper.   
“So are you, Kurt. Come on. We need to get you dressed.”  
“What?”  
“Jesus, you’re really difficult. You are going to the party with us. Blaine told me that you didn’t bring a suit with you so I have to get you to my stylist. She’ll help you with that.”  
“Why didn’t Blaine call me?”  
“I don’t know. Come on, Kurt. You can ask whatever you want in the car but right now we have to go.” Kurt nodded dumbly and took his wallet and phone.  
Cooper’s stylist was a cool girl who helped eased Kurt’s tension. Nick and Jeff were there as well and they joked with him to take his mind from overreacting because they could see he was under a lot of pressure.   
The three of them hopped into a car that was waiting for them and Kurt was expecting Blaine to already be there but he wasn’t.  
“Where is Blaine?” He asked warily, not liking the situation at all.  
“He is going with Cooper in a different car…” Nick told him.  
“Why?”  
“We’re not doing a press show.” Jeff explained. “They are going to smile into the cameras while we are sneaking inside.”  
“I thought it was a birthday party...Isn’t it like private or something?”  
“Not in this business. There’ll be lots of people from media. But they’ll be gone for the afterparty.”  
“Afterparty of a birthday party? That’s insane…”  
“Look, it’s how it works. You make a big fuss about something and then you shut the press out.”  
“I really don’t think me going there is a good idea.”  
“Blaine wants you there.”  
“He could have at least called me about it.” Kurt pointed out.  
“It was a crazy day. We needed to wrap it up on time so Blaine could rehearse a little. He didn’t have time for anything. He hated that he couldn’t be with you at all this week. He is going to make it up to you.” Nick smiled at him encouragingly.   
“This is how it’s going to be with him, isn’t it?”  
“I’m not going to lie to you, Kurt.” Jeff said seriously. “You met Blaine while he was doing Broadway. It was easy for him to be around you because he didn’t have to do promo stuff. He’s going to be away a lot now. There’ll be interviews, concerts, photoshoots, video shootings, events he is supposed to attend...He is going to be everywhere. His PR is going to make sure of it. I thought he talked to you about it...”  
“He did...But I’ve never...I couldn’t imagine what it would mean because I’ve never dated anyone like him…”  
“You’ll get used to it, don’t worry. You still have us for long, cold nights.” Nick grinned at him and Kurt laughed.  
The party wasn’t half bad. Blaine sang beautifully and he often searched for Kurt’s eyes and even sent him a wink so Kurt relaxed and tried to have fun. His company for the evening was his boyfriend’s best friends since there was always someone claiming Blaine’s attention and Kurt didn’t know whether to join him or not. As Blaine never came to him to take Kurt with him to whomever he was going to speak to, Kurt stayed by their table and sent polite smiles to people who acknowledged him.   
It was after midnight and Kurt was tired. The guy who was sitting next to him and talking to him was over the top. Kurt had to use all his power not to tell him to shut the fuck up. Who cares that he was a new hollywood sensation? He had nothing intelligent to say and his poor attempt in flirting with Kurt was really, really bad. Kurt was so focused on not to say anything bad to the man that he didn’t notice Blaine watching him from the bar where he was standing.  
“Why don’t you go over there and save him from his misery?” Jeff nudged his best friend’s side.   
“Phillip wanted to talk to me about the possibility of me guest starring in his new show. I don’t want Kurt to get bored by business talk…”  
“Yeah, ‘cos he is having such a great time right now.”  
“Do you think he likes it?” Blaine turned his head to face his friend, waiting for an answer.  
“Likes what?”  
“A guy openly flirting with him…”  
“Are you crazy? Can’t you see how bored he is? What the hell, man?”  
“I don’t know...It’s just that there is so much I can’t do as his boyfriend...maybe he would want more from me…”  
“I think, he deserves at least one epic blowjob for what you’ve put him through tonight. And I also think he wants it from you and not a donkey face next to him.”  
“Well, I hope the big bouquet of sunflowers would make it…”  
“With a blowjob, right?”   
“Jeff!” Blaine warned him. “It’s really not the place to talk about something like that here.”  
“Why not? I have to make sure that Kurt is taken care of.”  
“He will be taken care of, just not the way you are suggesting.”  
“What? Why not?!”  
“We don’t…do that.”  
“Don’t do what?” Jeff asked. Blaine glared at him. Was Jeff really that slow?  
“We don’t...we haven’t been intimate yet.” Blaine whispered to his ear, afraid that someone might hear him.  
“What?!” Jeff shrieked. “Why not?!”  
“Lower your voice!” Blaine hissed at him.  
“Blaine, you two have been eye fucking since you met. What is wrong with you two?”  
“Nothing. I just want to go slow.”  
“It took you half a year to ask him out! How much slower do you want to go for God’s sake?” Blaine remained silent. He took a sip from his drink and bored his eyes into the donkey face’s head as if he was trying to burn a hole there.  
“Okay. What is it really about, Blaine? Blaine!” Jeff snapped his fingers in front of Blaine’s face to bring him back to reality where he was a nonviolent person who didn’t cause damage to anybody’s head.  
“I don’t think he would like it.” Blaine admitted and Jeff raised his eyebrow, a clear sign that he thought his friend had gone out of his mind. “No one stayed with me for more than two months. Besides Sebastian but it was a high school relationship so it doesn’t count. My personality or lifestyle or whatever chased them away. If I’d been good in bed they would have stuck with me a while longer…”  
“Okay. This is insane, Blaine. So you think withdrawing sex from Kurt would make him stay with you?”  
“No...I’ve never said we won’t get there...I just want him to...like me enough not to leave me if I suck at it.”  
“The guy is head over heels for you, Blaine. Even if you were the worst lover in the whole world, he would stay. And from how Sebastian boasted about your sex life in front of us when you weren’t there…”  
“He did not!”  
“Yes, he did. He was an obnoxious douchebag. A douchebag in love but still a douchebag. And for all we know, you’re pretty good at it so stop underestimating your skills and put some moves on!”  
“Did the guy just put his hand on Kurt’s knee?” Blaine put down his glass and quickly walked to them, leaving smirking Jeff behind. Kurt was just standing up from his chair and telling the man how inappropriate his behaviour was when two arms wrapped themselves around his waist.  
“Having fun?” Blaine asked and nuzzled his nose into Kurt’s neck.  
“Not really. I was hoping for you to co...” Kurt answered but didn’t get to finish his sentence because Blaine spun him around and kissed him. There, in the room full of people, who probably didn’t give a damn about what they were doing but still. And it wasn’t a chaste kiss either. They’d been holding back with their kisses, never getting too deep or passionate. It all seemed to go out the window as Blaine was mapping Kurt’s mouth with his tongue, holding him close, taking his breath away.  
“God, I missed you so much this week.” Blaine muttered after they broke the kiss.  
“I missed you, too.”   
“I’m sorry I left you alone. I’m still waiting for one guy who wants to talk to me...work related stuff...will you be okay on your own for a while? I hate to do this, but..”  
“Blaine, it’s okay. I understand. Do what you need to do, okay?”  
“You sure?”  
“Yeah. I’m sure...but can I go back to the hotel? We’re leaving in the morning and I could use some sleep before the flight.”  
“Of course. I’ll have car prepared for you.”  
“No, it’s not necessary. I’ll take a cab.”  
“You most certainly won’t.” Blaine said firmly. “You’ll go back in the car you came here in. Nick and Jeff will return with me and Cooper.”  
“But…”  
“No. My decision is final.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Things didn’t get better after their arrival to New York. Blaine was busy with whatever work he needed to do before releasing the first single from his album that was coming out in early December and Kurt had to make do with a short phone calls and text messages.   
It was almost a week since Kurt had seen Blaine or Nick with Jeff. He was bored to death and Rachel wasn’t at home to keep him company. Blaine was god knows where doing god knows what which meant only one thing - he could either call his old college friends or try to find out what Nick and Jeff were doing. Maybe they could grab a beer.   
“Hi, Nick. It’s me, Kurt.” Kurt said enthusiastically into the phone as soon as Nick picked it up.  
“Hi. What’s up?”  
“I was wondering if yo-”  
“Nick? What the hell are you doing? I need your help!” The voice in the background unmistakably belonged to Blaine. Kurt was lost. Blaine told him he wouldn’t have time for hanging out…  
“Nick? Are you with Blaine?”  
“Yeah. Sorry, man. He is going to kill me if I don’t hang up. Call you later, okay?”   
“Okay.” Kurt responded, though the line was dead already. What had just happened? Kurt did his best not to jump to conclusions. He’d promised Blaine not to do that. It was really hard for him. There were so many things that could have gone wrong. There were so many what if’s, one more ridiculous than the other but it still bugged him.   
He stayed home for the evening, watching old movies and not paying any attention to them. Nick didn’t call at all which made Kurt even more anxious. Before he went to bed, he called Blaine but of course, he didn’t answer his phone.

I miss you. Hope to see you soon. xxx - Kurt   
Kurt woke up in the morning to the sound of incoming text on his phone.

Can you come over tonight? 8 p.m.? - Blaine  
Have dinner plans with Rachel. 9 p.m.? - Kurt  
Great. I’ll be waiting for you. - Blaine

By the time Kurt was on his way to Blaine’s apartment he’d managed to convince himself that Blaine was going to break up with him. So much for not jumping to conclusions.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“God, I missed you so much.” Blaine murmured against Kurt’s lips before attacking them again. Kurt held Blaine’s shoulders firmly as if it was the only thing to keep him grounded. He was pressed against the wall right next to the elevator in Blaine’s apartment and his back ached from how hard Blaine was leaning into him but screw the pain when he was being kissed thoroughly. They’d shared every single innocent, sweet and tender kiss known to man during the month they were together and Kurt never once complained. Blaine needed to take things slow so Kurt granted his wishes. The kiss at the party in L.A. was something they hadn’t talked about yet and even though Kurt enjoyed what Blaine was doing to him right now very much, in the back of his mind he knew there was a talk waiting for them because Kurt didn’t understand how Blaine could go from taking it slow to I’m going to rock your world, just let me show my tongue down your throat. Fortunately, Blaine had to catch his breath at some point and Kurt took the opportunity to say something.  
“As amazing as this is, I think we should go somewhere more comfortable.”  
“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.” Blaine apologized, stepping away from him. Kurt unglued himself from the wall and smiled at him.   
“Don’t get me wrong. I really loved it but I’m kind of curious what brought that on…”  
“I missed you.” Blaine repeated his previous words again and hugged Kurt, being careful not to cause any more damage to his body.  
“I missed you, too.” Kurt sighed silently.   
“I have something prepared for you.” Blaine took his hand and led him to the living room. They sat down and Kurt immediately snuggled to Blaine, not wanting to be apart from him.  
“Where are you going?” He protested when Blaine kissed the top of his head and got up.  
“Close your eyes. I’ll be right back.” Kurt heard some noise from the kitchen but he beat the urge to turn around and see what Blaine was up to.  
“Are your eyes closed?”   
“Yes.” Kurt nodded.  
“You’re lying! Close your eyes, Kurt.”   
“Okay.” Kurt resigned and closed his eyes, wondering how Blaine could know they weren’t closed in the first place. There was a bit of shifting and then he felt Blaine slid next to him.  
“You can open them.” Kurt did as he was told, taking in the sight in front of him.  
“A cake?”  
“A heart-shaped tiramisu.” Blaine grinned and offered him a bite.  
“Oh my god! That’s so good! How did you get this? I thought they don’t deliver…”  
“They don’t. I made it.” Blaine announced proudly, leaving Kurt speechless. “I know how much you liked it on our first date. I had a plan for our one month anniversary in L.A. but we went to the party so I had to come up with something else…”  
“What plan?”  
“I can’t tell you. I can use it as an idea for another date when we are there.”  
“So you made me tiramisu?”  
“I bribed the cook to give me the recipe...I was pretty sure that was the hardest part of it but actually making it was much more difficult.” Kurt laughed at that.   
“Stop laughing! We spent five days in the kitchen. I’ve made dozens of cakes until it was the way it is supposed to be!”  
“Wait, ‘we’ spent?”  
“Nick and Jeff helped a lot. We barely slept.”  
“Blaine…” Kurt smiled softly at him, taking another bite of his treat. “This is amazing. Thank you.”  
“I just wanted you to know that I’m willing to work hard to make you happy...didn’t want you to think that I want to get away easily with presents I can buy…”  
“Well...I had a surprise for you as well in L.A.. It’s in my closet. I didn’t bring it because I thought you were going to break up with me…” Blaine’s smile faded away and his whole body tensed.  
“W-What?”  
“You were distant and I thought that maybe I did something wrong…”  
“Kurt, I tried to be in touch with you as much as I could without burning my kitchen down and giving the surprise away!”  
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I promised not to assume something without talking to you first but I couldn’t help it. Please, don’t be mad.” Kurt pouted and lifted the fork to Blaine’s mouth. “Here. We are going to share this and then we can talk about how you became the best tiramisu maker in the whole world.”   
“I’m not the best ti…” Kurt put the fork into his mouth and Blaine swallowed the offered piece before opening his mouth to protest again. Kurt didn’t give him a chance though. He kissed him slow and deep, effectively shutting him up.  
“You are the best.” Kurt insisted and they ate the rest of tiramisu in silence, exchanging soft smiles and small kisses. After the clean plate was put down on the coffee table, tension in the room increased. Kurt was thinking of how to start the inevitable conversation they needed to have while Blaine was just watching him intensely. Kurt couldn’t break the eye contact no matter how much he wanted to do so. With his lack of words, Kurt gave Blaine every permission to press their lips together. Just for a little while, Kurt promised himself but all those repeated promises disappeared as Blaine was licking his way inside Kurt’s mouth. Kurt granted him access, inhaling sharply and burying his hands into Blaine’s curls to bring him closer. A little while took a bit longer than it was supposed to, but Kurt was only human. He’d spent months thinking of how Blaine’s kisses would be like and then - when Blaine had become finally his - he’d had to settle for chaste kisses, per Blaine’s wishes, so could anyone blame him for wanting this to last as long as possible? They were just sitting next to each other and kissing. There was nothing wrong about it...except there was. Blaine’s hands were everywhere from the top of Kurt’s head and his now not so perfectly styled hair to his slim waist and Kurt let him. He let Blaine caress his chest and back through his shirt, he let him play with his hair and run his hands up and down his arms, he even let Blaine straddle his thighs. He would let Blaine do anything to him as much as he wouldn’t stop kissing him. Everything hit him in full force when his shirt got untacked and Blaine’s hands started to roam under the fabric that was preventing skin on skin contact.  
And if we had ended up doing something, I would have regretted it in the morning. Blaine’s words echoed in his mind and he broke their kissing immediately.  
“We should stop.” Kurt said quietly but firmly and gently pushed Blaine out of his lap.  
“Oh…” Blaine responded and fixed his gaze on the floor. “I’m sorry. I thought we were...never mind.” He stood up and took the dessert plate from the table.  
“What are you doing?”   
“I’m going to put this into a dishwasher…”  
“Jesus, Blaine! Sit down! What’s up with you?” He pulled on Blaine’s sleeve and Blaine landed his pretty ass right next to him.  
“We don’t have to talk about this…” Blaine’s ears were red. He was clearly embarrassed and he avoided looking at Kurt at all costs.  
“Well, I think that we should talk about it.”   
“I understand, Kurt. You don’t want to and I won’t fo-”  
“I don’t want what?”   
“Going further...”  
“What?! I had a sex dream about you the first night we met, Blaine! You were the one who wanted to go slow!”  
“I changed my mind.” Blaine stated weakly as if it was something wrong.  
“You changed your mind? When? How come I’m not informed about it? You weren’t ready and all of a sudden you are?” Blaine bit his lower lip.He felt stupid, forcing himself on Kurt like that. Even though Kurt hadn’t complained in the beginning which made Blaine confused. He still refused to look at Kurt. He sat there, waiting for Kurt to say something or leave or whatever. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. Kurt wouldn’t just leave, that much was obvious. The only way to get Kurt out of his apartment was to ask him to go and Blaine wasn’t strong enough to do that. Kurt took Blaine’s hand into his and brought them to his lips to kiss them.  
“Blaine?” He asked softly. “Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”   
Blaine retrieved his hand and folded them on his chest. He rested his head against the back of the sofa and looked dumbly to the ceiling.  
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” He admitted brokenly as a tear slipped down his cheek. “I feel like what I do is not enough. I wanted us to go slow because I don’t think I’m good at it...you know, sexual stuff. I was afraid that you would be disappointed and leave me before we even started. I know you wouldn’t do that...rationally I know you’re not that kind of person but I just can’t help some nagging thoughts that keeps coming and telling me that I’m a failure. I can’t even kiss you goodbye in public because I’m a coward, Kurt. You deserve so much more. When the guy was flirting with you at that party, I was wondering whether it was something you’d like me to do openly…so I decided not to keep my distance from you...because it’s not that I don’t want to be intimate with you. I do. I really, really want you...but I haven’t had sex in almost three years and even then no one stuck around for longer than a few weeks so...” Blaine shrugged his shoulder and wiped his tears, still not sparing Kurt a single glance. God, he was so pathetic. What was Kurt even doing there with him?  
“Blaine,” Kurt cupped Blaine’s cheeks and turned his head so they faced each other at last. “Listen to me carefully, okay? I am crazy about you. I don’t care what other couples do and we don’t. I don’t need a kiss goodbye in public. I don’t need any of that PDA shit because it doesn’t matter. I’m happy with you when we watch movies or hang out with our friends and you hold my hand or kiss my temple. I don’t need anything more. It’s enough for me to feel content and safe and taken care of. Don’t compare yourself to some generally accepted prototype of a boyfriend. I’m not with you because you fit the definition. I’m with you because you don’t. You’re not an ordinary person, Blaine. You are single most beautiful man I’ve ever met. Inside and out. You make me feel special and thanks to you I have faith in me again. You are incredible and I can’t have you feeling badly because of one asshole who talked to me at some random birthday party. I need you to talk to me though. Whatever is troubling you, I need to know so we can get through it, okay? I promise I won’t get mad but you have to tell me the real reason behind your actions.” Blaine nodded and Kurt wrapped his arms around him, engulfing him in a bear hug.   
“Thank you.” Blaine whispered into his shoulder and Kurt tightened his grip on him even more.  
“Now we’re going to talk about sex.” Kurt ordered and Blaine groaned, not really looking forward to discussing the topic. “Come on, Blaine. The pace has to be set. What are you comfortable with? We can go back to light kisses or we can make out like we did today with some rules made.”   
“Rules?”  
“Yeah, rules. Like no touching under the clothes or below the waist, I don’t know. What do you think? What are you okay with? Honestly.”  
“I think I’d like to take things a bit further than what we did tonight….ermm...like maybe losing a shirt?”  
“Okay. Something else?”  
“Well,” Blaine shifted and started to play with Kurt’s belt. “Maybe we could lose pants, too…” A smirk appeared on Kurt’s face but he composed himself quickly. He had to stay strict.  
“And you know...I-I think there is nothing wrong with being naked while kissing...a-and touching…if it’s okay with you...” Kurt’s facial expression was serious and Blaine didn’t know whether he crossed the line or not. But Kurt wanted him to be honest so he was.  
“Is that really what YOU want? Or is that what you think I want?”  
“It is what I want and I hope you want that too…” Blaine said truly, looking Kurt right in the eyes.  
“Okay. No sex though.” Kurt stated, making Blaine open his eyes widely.  
“What? Where is the point of being naked then? I can’t be...Like it’s not possible...We need to keep our clothes on if there isn’t going to be…” Blaine was flustered, struggling to word his thoughts. Kurt was observing him with a devious smile.  
“I don’t understand what you want to say, Blaine. Can you be more specific?” He teased him.  
“You’re hot, Kurt...and you t-turn me on a lot...I…” Blaine took a deep breath, cursing internally at how awkward his verbalization was. “I can’t promise I won’t...ehm...you know…have a situation...” It was the point where Kurt lost it and his laugh filled the apartment.  
“Oh my god, Blaine! You’re so adorable.” He leaned in and smacked a sloppy kiss on Blaine’s lips. “I meant full intercourse. I think there is a lot to experience together before we come to that...Of course I want us to get some pleasure and ease the sexual tension…”  
“You’re such a jerk.” Blaine complained. “You let me sweat for nothing!”  
“Come here,” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s face into his hands and brought their mouth together in a heated kiss. “You sure about this?” He whispered one last time and Blaine nodded, diving in for another breathtaking lip connection.


	19. Chapter 19

Their breathing was shallow. There wasn’t much of opportunity to take air into their lungs properly between exchanging heavy kisses. Kurt was hovering over Blaine, his hands already exploring under Blaine’s shirt. Kurt easily won the upper hand in their current position. He wanted to show Blaine how amazing it could feel if someone who really cared about him was touching him. He wanted Blaine to relax and enjoy the attention he was giving to Blaine’s beautiful body. He needed Blaine to understand that even though this probably wouldn’t be flawless, it still would be amazing and perfect for them. Because Kurt loved Blaine with his whole heart and although he wasn’t ready to say it yet for fear that he would scare Blaine, the feelings were there and Kurt was going to pour them into every single touch of his hands and lips on Blaine’s skin. That is why he halted when Blaine pushed his shirt up.  
“Wait.” Kurt stood up and took Blaine’s hand to bring him into a standing position as well. “Not here. Let’s go to your bedroom.” He suggested and after Blaine gave him a nod, he led them upstairs.   
He slowly closed the door behind them and the dark consumed the room. Kurt turned on a lamp on Blaine’s bedside table that provided just enough light for them to see each other while not being completely exposed.   
Blaine was nervous. Downstairs, on the couch, he was driven by lust and he really didn’t have time to think about what he should do, but now he was standing in front of the most perfect human being and he was afraid to move. Kurt must have sensed his stress considering that he came to Blaine silently and hugged him, whispering soothing words into his ear.  
“We don’t have to do anything. If you don’t feel like going further, we just stop and go to sleep. There is no need for rush. We have all the time in the world to get to it eventually.”  
“I don’t want to stop, Kurt.” Blaine’s voice was shaky but determined. “I know it doesn’t seem like that but I don’t want to stop..” Kurt was rubbing circles into his back, trying to ease the tension there.  
“Talk to me, Blaine.” He proposed. “Tell me what’s on your mind right now.”  
“I feel like an inexperienced teenager.” Blaine chuckled. “It’s not that I’ve never done this but, the truth is, I’ve never cared so much about anybody I’ve ever been with as much as I care about you. It’s all thrilling and nerve-wracking at the same time. I don’t want to screw up…”  
“You won’t. I can assure you that it’s as thrilling as it is nerve-wracking for me as well. You’re not the only one who doesn’t want to do something wrong. But that’s the point of learning, isn’t it? Finding out what to do and what not to do? I trust you and I know that if you do something I’m not okay with and I tell you that, you’ll stop. The same goes the other way. Just say you don’t like what we are doing and I’ll stop the very same second.”  
“Thank you.” Blaine murmured and kissed the side of Kurt’s neck before pulling away from his embrace a little to look at him. “I think we can continue…”  
“I’d love that.” Kurt said with a big smile and raised his hand to stroke Blaine’s cheek. Everything changed. Suddenly there was calmness. Passionate kisses from before were replaced by sensual ones. Kurt’s tongue was literally caressing inside of Blaine’s mouth, effectively spreading hot feeling all over Blaine’s body. Blaine could do this for hours and he would probably never have enough. Kurt allowed Blaine dominance over the kiss. They were equal partners in this after all. Kurt knew it was important for Blaine, having power and control over what they were doing.   
Blaine left Kurt’s lips and started to place small kisses all over his face. He needed to stand on his toes while kissing Kurt’s forehead and for Kurt it was sweet and cute and he loved how Blaine did everything properly. There wasn’t a spot on Kurt’s face not touched by Blaine’s lips. Blaine was relaxed again, his hands got more daring, wandering from Kurt’s lower back to his shoulder blades while his mouth was preoccupied with Kurt’s jaw and his slender neck. He didn’t even realize that Kurt managed to unbutton his shirt until Kurt’s palm rested against his wildly beating heart. A shuddered breath and a content sigh. It was all the encouragement Kurt needed to push Blaine’s shirt down from his shoulders. He unfastened the buttons on his sleeves and let the clothing fall down. Kurt’s hands roamed over Blaine’s bare chest, shaking a little. He did his best to stay confident, to keep his calm posture but the simple fact that Blaine was willing to let Kurt touch him was too overwhelming.   
Their fingers entwined as they moved to the bed. Blaine lay down and brought Kurt with him. Kurt lost his shirt shortly after and they spent a good amount of time just kissing and studying the exposed skin with their finger tips. It was all new to Blaine. As a teenager, there had always been urgency in his actions. The clothes had been ripped off and the end had come very quickly with their hormones running in overdrive. Later, when dating guys in New York, there had been just one goal - to get off. There hadn’t been any room for intimacy - or better said - there hadn’t been anyone who he’d wanted intimacy with. With Kurt everything was simple. Things kept happening on their own and he felt amazing. He also felt like being bold, so he took a liberty of disposing of their pants; the more revealed skin, the better, right?   
They were sitting on the bed, facing each other, drinking in the view in front of them. Kurt climbed on Blaine’s lap and Blaine’s arms were immediately wrapped around his waist.   
“Lay down, please.” Kurt whispered and Blaine obeyed. He closed his eyes and focused on taking a few calming breaths, willing to lessen his excitement. He wasn’t sure how long he could last when Kurt would touch him there.  
Kurt was eager to get to Blaine’s intimate parts but there was still their boxer briefs in his way. He wanted nothing more than touch and kiss and taste but Blaine deserved more than haste. He kept his moves light. Every caress, every kiss, every single touch was deliberately planned though. From how Blaine was writhing on the bed and throwing his head from side to side, Kurt could tell he was successful. He didn’t have a lot of experience since Blaine was his second boyfriend but from what he’d learnt in his previous relationship, he knew that intimacy wasn’t something that just came without any effort. It was something that had to be built. And he was the happiest man alive that Blaine trusted him enough to let him build it with him. He covered Blaine’s warm body with his own and kissed him deeply. Blaine’s hips bucked up on their own accord and he moaned right into Kurt’s mouths, his chest vibrating from the sound.  
“Can I take them off?” Kurt asked, putting his finger under the fabric that was preventing him to see Blaine in all his glory. Instead of giving an answer, Blaine shifted and tried to get rid of them himself.   
“Hold on.” Kurt giggled. “Let me, okay?”   
“O-Okay.” Blaine responded with a chuckle.  
Kurt kissed his way from Blaine’s face to his waist and before he undressed Blaine completely, he mouthed on his length through the remaining piece of clothing.  
“Oh god…”   
Kurt smirked. Blaine apparently liked that. He took the briefs off in one swift move, intentionally brushing his fingers over the soft skin between Blaine’s legs.  
“Kurt…” Blaine whined desperately and Kurt decided to stop teasing him. He took him into his hand and stroked him slowly but firmly. He was rewarded with a series of sounds that was driving him crazy. Blaine tangled his fingers into Kurt’s hair and pulled him closer, crashing their lips together. Kurt yelped at the sudden movement but then he caught up with Blaine’s action and synced his hand with the pace of Blaine’s kissing. The moment Blaine thought his chest was going to explode, he broke the kiss and threw his head back, panting heavily.  
“Oh my god...Kurt…oh yeah...so good...don’t stop...yesyesyesyes…don’t stop...don’tstopdon’tstopdon’tstop…” Kurt watched him closely, paying attention to every detail of Blaine’s facial expressions. Every wrinkle, every half smile as well as every eye squinting were now forever written in Kurt’s mind. “Oh, Kurt...don’t st-...STOP!” Blaine screamed and pushed Kurt’s hand away. “Please, stop!” Kurt froze. He had no idea what was wrong. Putting some distance between himself and Blaine he was sitting, legs crossed, next to his boyfriend who had his eyes still closed, not touching him at all. When Blaine finally turned his head in Kurt’s direction, he was met with a pair of frightened eyes.  
“‘m so s’rry…” Blaine uttered and tugged Kurt’s hand to lay down beside him.   
“What happened?” Kurt asked warily. “Did I do something wr- ”  
“No. God, no!”  
“Then what?”   
“I was too close...didn’t want to come.”   
“Why not?” Kurt didn’t understand. Wasn’t that a point of all of it?  
“Because,” Blaine whispered slyly, “you are still in your underwear which means that so far it’s been solely one sided pleasure making and I can’t have that.”  
“Hmmm...I can assure you that pleasure was all mine.”  
“Was it? What about I try to pleasure you some more?” Blaine was already straddling him, stroking his thighs with his thumbs.  
“And how do you propose to do that?”   
“First, I’m going to strip this off,” and Kurt was naked faster than he could blink his eyes. “Then I’m going to ask you to roll on your stomach. Could you do that for me?”   
Blaine covered Kurt’s back with kisses. Kurt was laying comfortably on the bed, his head resting on his folded arms. Blaine was sweet and careful with his movements over Kurt’s body and Kurt felt like something precious that Blaine was afraid to break. Kurt was a bit ticklish so he giggled once in a while and Blaine chuckled with him, imprinting his smile into Kurt’s skin. Kurt tried to let Blaine lead. He did what he could but after some time Blaine’s touches became braver and Kurt’s limits were exceeded. He turned on his back. Surprising Blaine with his abrupt motion, he raised himself on his elbows and kissed Blaine for all he was worth. They fell back on bed and allowed their bodies to follow their instincts. Blaine picked up the rhythm of his hips, watching Kurt wriggling and whimpering.  
“Like that?” He whispered hotly into Kurt’s ear.  
“Yeah…” Kurt breathed and ran his hands up and down Blaine’s back. “Just like that…”  
“What about like this?” Blaine teased more and circled his hand around Kurt’s length between their stomach.  
“Oh…” Kurt threw his head back with a moan. “Shit...that’s so good…” He was panting and chanting Blaine’s name. Blaine was convinced he would go insane by the end of the night. Kurt was spread underneath him, all hot and full of want, something Blaine was responsible for and as soon as Blaine realized that, a big grin showed up on his face. He was the one who made Kurt clench his upper arm strongly, diving in in pleasure. Blaine attacked Kurt’s neck with hot, open mouthed kisses, licking and sucking, eliciting the most incredible sounds from Kurt.  
“Blaine,” Kurt sighed happily. “God, Blaine…f-faster...yeah…” Blaine sped up the movement of his hand and Kurt groaned, thrusting his hips up.  
“Fuck, Blaine!...oh god…” To Blaine’s delight, Kurt was a mumbling mess and he loved everything about it. No matter where he caressed Kurt’s skin or how he kissed any part of it, he got the most amazings reaction out of him. Blaine bite on Kurt’s collarbone a little too harsh, caught in the moment and Kurt’s breath hitched.  
“B-Blaine! Fuck!” Kurt arched his back from the sheets and then he was coming all over Blaine’s fist. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He murmured when the intensity of his orgasm flooded away, frustrated that he wasn’t able to last a bit longer. Blaine was soothing his hipbone tenderly, waiting for Kurt to shift a little so they could cuddle. Kurt had something different in his mind though. He got on his side and kissed Blaine fiercely, nibbling on his lower lip and muttering words of praise into his mouth while returning the favor, starting slow and lazy.  
“You’re amazing...so sexy and breathtaking...Blaine, you’re fantastic…”  
“Kurt…please”   
“Tell me, Blaine.” Kurt urged. “Tell me what you want.”  
“Keep going...yesss...more, honey...god, I need more…” Blaine’s head fell on Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt’s heartbeat quickened even more at Blaine’s words. Honey...No one had ever called him honey.   
“Shhh...I’m here…” Kurt soothed him when Blaine’s arms wrapped themselves around Kurt’s body, bringing him close while his hips bucked furiously into Kurt’s hand. Blaine was shaking by this point and Kurt was holding him with his free arm as firmly as he could. “You can let go, sweetie.” And Blaine did. He was trembling and moaning softly, tightening his grip on Kurt even more. Kurt lay down on his back and brought Blaine, who was like a koala baby at this point, with him. They fell asleep soon after.

Kurt woke up when something soft and warm was wiping on his stomach. He lazily opened his eyes and saw Blaine cleaning him up with a wet towel.   
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you up.” Blaine apologized.  
“It’s okay.” Kurt smiled. “Thanks for cleaning the mess…” He hoisted himself into a sitting position and leaned forward to kiss Blaine.  
“I think we could both use a shower, what do you say?” Blaine nodded and stood up wordlessly.  
“Hey! Why are you in your boxer briefs?” Kurt asked accusingly.  
“I...I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.” The response was silent, almost like Blaine was afraid to say something.  
“What you were supposed to do?”  
“I’ve never spent the night with anyone after we…”   
“Oh...do you want me to go home?” A simple question. Kurt’s heart ached at the thought that Blaine might want him to leave.  
“No. It’s just all new for me...I know it’s a common thing for people in relationships, but the only real relationship I had was at Dalton. We sneaked around to be together intimately so roommates or parents wouldn’t be mortified and everything was pretty quick...When I was dating here, I didn’t trust anyone I was with enough to bring him home. I always ended up at someone’s place and left shortly after we finished so...I’m not familiar with the proper etiquette.”   
“There’s no such thing as proper etiquette...do what you are comfortable with. That’s the most important thing. If you feel better dressed, it’s okay. We’ll get dressed.” A heavy sigh escaped Blaine’s mouth. He sat down back on the bed and rested his head against Kurt’s shoulder.  
“I’m sorry you have to put up with this.”  
“Don’t be silly. There is no one else in this world I’d rather be putting up with. Just do what you feel like doing, okay? Not what you think I want you to do…”  
“I feel like taking a shower right now.” Blaine announced, making Kurt laugh.  
“Yeah, me too.”   
“We can take it together…” Kurt smirked and kissed the top of Blaine’s head. He loved Blaine’s subtle way to let Kurt know what he wanted.   
“That’s a good idea.”   
“Really?” Blaine’s head shot up. “I mean…let’s go then.” 

After showering they changed Blaine’s sheets and now they were laying on their sides under Blaine’s bed cover, naked to Kurt’s delight, their hands linked between them.  
“I’m not sleepy anymore.” Kurt noted, smiling softly at Blaine who was looking happy and satisfied.   
“Me neither…”   
“Tonight has been amazing. I’ve enjoyed every single minute of it.”  
“Even though I managed to make it weird with my awkwardness every now and then?”   
Kurt outstretched his hand and slowly threaded his fingers through Blaine damp curls.  
“I can’t recall anything being awkward...you were sweet and cute and hot at the same time, Blaine. I wouldn’t change a thing about tonight.”  
“I think I should make some space in my closet. Or you can take one in one of the guest rooms. You know, so you won’t have to wear same outfit two days in a row if you accidentally happen to spend the night…” Blaine said with a wink.  
“Accidentally?”  
“Well, I hope one day you’ll stay purposely…until then I’m okay with impromptu sleepovers. You don’t need to bring your pajamas, though. You won’t need them.”  
“What are you suggesting, Mr. Anderson? I am an honorable young man. You can’t expect me to sleep with you naked every time I’m here.” Kurt grinned at him, teasingly running his index finger down Blaine’s chest.  
“Trust me, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine whispered and leaned forward, his lips ghosting over Kurt’s. “No one appreciates your honorability more than I do. But I do, indeed, expect you to lose your clothes before going to bed because I got a taste of what it is like to have your bare skin against mine and there isn’t a better feeling than having you in my arms, holding you and making you fall apart.”   
“Shit, Blaine.” Kurt cursed because Blaine’s words and warm breath were effecting his body in a way that was too exciting. “Keep talking like that and I won’t have any other choice than to make YOU fall apart.”  
“I don’t see a problem with that, honey.” Blaine pecked his cheek and returned to his previous position, leaving a few inches space between their faces.  
“You’re a meanie…” A light-hearted laugh from Blaine melted Kurt’s fake pout. He wasn’t able to pretend that something was bothering him when Blaine was at ease, his insecurities away at least for the time being, and Kurt couldn’t ask for more.  
“I love your laugh.” Kurt admitted. “You know why?”  
Blaine shook his head, blushing lightly.  
“Because not only it is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard but it is also something that makes your face glow. There is this little crincle around your left eye and you wrinkle your nose in the most adorable way.”  
“You’re the one who gives me most of the reasons for laughing.”   
“I’m not sure whether to be pleased or offended right now.”   
“Why?”   
“Because you just implied that I’m your personal clown, sweetie…”  
“No, honey. I implied that you are my personal heaven.”


	20. Chapter 20

Waking up next to a warm, naked body was something Blaine had never experienced before. Kurt was laying on his right side, one of his arms was folded under the pillow and the other one was resting on it. He was curled up into a ball and his breath was soft and even. He was beautiful. A few ‘anything but innocent’ thoughts popped up in Blaine’s mind but he quickly set them aside, leaving sleeping Kurt in his bed and walking into his closet. When he came out of there, Kurt was sprawled across the bed and Blaine knew he would give his everything to see Kurt like this regularly.  
He went downstairs to make himself coffee. He was wondering whether having tiramisu for breakfast would be a good idea. He loved having something sweet for a start of the day but Kurt was more for a healthy diet. He decided to go for a box of cereal when two arms circled around his waist from behind.  
“Good morning, sweetie.” Kurt nuzzled his nose into the side of his neck and placed a small kiss there.  
“Good morning, honey.” Blaine put his hands on the top of Kurt’s and leaned his back into Kurt’s chest, sighing contently. “Did you sleep well?”  
“Hmmmm…” Kurt murmured, stroking Blaine’s belly with his thumbs through the fabric of Blaine’s polo shirt. “I missed you when I woke up, though.”  
“I’m sorry. Next time I’ll stay in bed creepingly watching you.”  
“Suit yourself.” Kurt whispered, his breath hot on Blaine’s ear. “I really don’t mind.”  
“Good to know…” Blaine mused and turned his head to peck Kurt’s lips.  
“You already had coffee!” Kurt complained with a pout, as he tasted the familiar flavor in Blaine’s mouth.  
“Sorry…” His boyfriend just shrugged his shoulders and took a mug from a kitchen counter to pour some pick-me-up liquid for Kurt as well. Kurt brought him closer, not letting him get out of his embrace.  
“What am I going to do with you, Mr. Anderson? Leaving me alone in your bed...not waiting for me with a morning cup of coffee…” Kurt’s fingers crawled slowly under his shirt and he untucked it swiftly from Blaine’s pants.  
“I’m such a bad boy.” Blaine grinned and put the mug back on the counter.  
“And what are you going to do to make it up to me?” Instead of giving the answer Blaine kissed him sweetly.  
“It will take a lot of kisses to make it right, Blaine.” Kurt smiled and captured Blaine’s lips again. Blaine turned around to face Kurt and he kissed him deep and dirty. His tongue was wandering Kurt’s mouth lazily but purposely until Kurt broke the kiss, panting heavily.  
“Is this okay with you?” He asked carefully.  
“Yeah.” Blaine mumbled, attacking Kurt’s face. His hands slid up Kurt’s arms and he squeezed Kurt biceps. If there was something Blaine was already obsessed with on Kurt’s body, this was it. The way Kurt felt under his fingertips, how his muscles succumbed under his touch, how his skin was amazingly soft in comparison to what it was covering...They were kissing and it was the only important thing to do. Loud, wet smacks were echoing in the kitchen alongside their gasps for air.  
“You sure this is okay?” Kurt inquired once more when he was certain that the point of no return was close at hand.  
“Yes, I’m sure. We talked about it yesterday. Nothing has changed. So please, just keep kissing me or I’m gonna die.”  
“We can’t have that.” Kurt said with a smirk and disposed of Blaine’s shirt before slowly leaning forward to tease Blaine with small, off centered kisses. He let his hands rest on his ass, squeezing it occasionally and then shifting them down a little more to grasp Blaine’s thighs from behind. He hoisted him up, carefully putting him on the counter. Blaine wrapped his legs around his waist and teasing kisses changed for desperate ones.  
“I always wanted to do this…” Blaine breathed into Kurt’s ear, biting on it lightly.  
“Do what?” Kurt’s words spoken into skin of his neck made Blaine shiver.  
“Get dirty in the kitchen…”  
“Interesting.” Kurt sucked on his collarbone and soothed the red spot he created with his tongue. “Where else do you want to get dirty?”  
“On the terrace…”  
“Tell me more about it, Blaine. What do you want to do on the terrace?” Kurt demanded as his fingers ran across Blaine’s chest.  
“Kiss you.”  
“Hmmm...pretty sure we’ve already done that…”  
“Yeah, but I haven’t done this to you there…” And Kurt was suddenly shirtless, the clothing ending somewhere on the kitchen floor next to him.  
“No, you haven’t…”  
“And I haven’t blown you there either”  
“Shit, Blaine!” Kurt groaned and bucked his hips forward to meet the bulge in Blaine’s pants. “If it wasn’t so cold outside, I’d drag you there right now!”  
“I can blow you here if you want to…” Blaine suggested innocently and Kurt bit on his boyfriend’s lower lip hard in return.  
“OH MY GOD!” The lovers turned their heads, looking startled and terrified. “What the fuck guys?!” Nick yelled at them, looking as mortified as Blaine and Kurt felt.  
“What the fuck guys?! What the fuck YOU guys?” Blaine shouted at his best friends who were standing in the kitchen entrance, one pissed and the other one smirking. Kurt placed his forehead against Blaine’s chest and groaned silently.  
“I gained voyeuristic tendencies during the night so I came to see you two get your mack on! What do you think we are doing here?! Why the hell are you grinning like an idiot, Jeff?!” Nick slapped Jeff at the back of his head but Jeff didn’t mind and his wide smile stayed attached to his face.  
“Blaine is getting his mack on!” He exclaimed.  
“Yeah and I had to see that!”  
“You are not supposed to be here! What I do with MY boyfriend in MY apartment is none of your business!”  
“You prepare meals there, Blaine! You can’t give Kurt blowjob in your kitchen! We eat food cooked in this room! It’s disgusting!”  
“LEAVE! NOW!”  
“Oh, I will and you are going with me! Jeff, stop leering and get your best friend’s sorry ass from that counter!”  
“Blaine, could you please come with us? Wes is going to kill us if we are not in his office in half an hour.” Jeff said politely, earning a glare from Nick who wasn’t happy about the situation at all.  
“I’m not going anywhere!”  
“Yes, you are mister! I was woken up by Wes and ordered to bring you to him since you apparently think it’s a good idea to turn your phone off for the evening! He’s been trying to reach you since yesterday. WE were trying to call you and then your boyfriend for more than hour but you were too busy screwing each other’s brain out to pick up the damn phone! I had to come here, witnessed you two half naked talking about blowjobs in YOUR kitchen and I’m still going to be scolded that I wasn’t able to get you to him soon enough! So put your shirt the fuck on and come with us!”  
“I don’t care what Wes wants me to do! I have the last full day off for the next two weeks and I plan to spend it with my boyfriend! Blowjobs included!”  
“This isn’t happening…” Kurt whimpered slowly, his eyes closed tightly even though if they were opened they would see only Blaine’s skin since he refused to look at anybody.  
“Blaine,” Jeff approached him slowly. “Trust me, I am thrilled that Kurt finally got some quality time with you but someone put the songs from Trent’s show on the internet. They started to sell it as a cast album and Wes is pissed beyond himself. You and Trent are the copyright owners so he has his hands tied right now. Lawyers are already in his office. So is your manager and PR since the press found out last night and they want to get statements. This isn’t a good kind of publicity. Not for you and not for the show either. You have to come with us if you don’t want Wes to march in here.”  
“Annie is there? She hates Wes.”  
“Yeah, your manager and Wes are in the same room. The situation is that bad, Blaine. Come on. We don’t have time.”  
“Go.” Kurt told him and finally raised his head but he avoided Nick’s and Jeff’s eyes at all costs. “I’ll wait for you at home, okay? Just come to me when you’re done.”  
“With Wes it would take the whole day. I might get out of there late at night.”  
“I’ll be waiting. Just go and do what you need to do…”  
“I hate to do this.”  
“Blaine, the sooner you get there, the sooner you’ll get out of there. Kiss him goodbye and let’s go!” Jeff prompted him and Nick turned around. He really didn’t need to see that.  
  
It was almost midnight when Blaine came to Kurt’s apartment. He was really sorry for waking him up but Kurt assured him it was okay, handed him a towel with sweatpants and old t-shirt and sent him to shower. Kurt was laying in his bed, pulling the covers up as he saw Blaine entering his room. Blaine scooted to him, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles.  
“Tired?” Kurt asked him and ran his fingers through his hair.  
“Exhausted...I went there and told them that I would sign the paper that they could do whatever they thought was the best but they wouldn’t let me go...I had to stay there and make my own decisions. Which in translation means agreeing to everything Wes and Annie thought was the best.” Blaine pouted and Kurt smiled compassionately.  
“Poor baby.” He said and leaned forward to kiss Blaine’s frown away.  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you today. The next two weeks are going to be horrible. I have plans for every single day…”  
“It’s okay. We’ll come up with something.” Kurt told him sweetly. “Maybe I could go with you on some events?”  
“You would do that? You hate them…”  
“Well, you are performing at the charity dinner next week. I think I could handle that one…”  
“That would be great, Kurt. I’d love to have you with me.”  
“So it’s settled then. I’m coming with you.” Blaine connected their lips in a sweet, tender kiss.  
“Thank you.” He whispered and Kurt hummed in acknowledgment, licking and nibbling on Blaine’s lower lip until Blaine got the message and let Kurt’s tongue into his mouth. They stayed like that for a few minutes, simply enjoying each other’s company and tender caresses.  
“Kurt, please stop.” Blaine said when Kurt’s hand roamed down and he slid his fingers under Blaine’s sweatpants. He retrieved his hand straight away and pulled back to look at his boyfriend.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No, don’t be.” Blaine stroke Kurt’s cheek with his thumb and smiled at him. “I want nothing more than to reenact last night but Rachel is sleeping behind the wall and...I’m not comfortable with doing something under these circumstances.”  
“Oh…”  
“You wouldn’t mind that she is in the apartment?”  
“Well…” Kurt started hesitantly. “I’ve been living with her since we came to New York and..erm...I was in a relationship for five years and we did spend our nights here as much as we spent them in Adam’s apartment so…”  
“So you had sex while your roommate was home?” Blaine asked and Kurt couldn’t tell whether he was more shocked or amazed.  
“Yeah? I mean it’s not like she could hear us, we were careful not to be loud but...Jesus, Blaine, you make me feel like a creep!”  
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve never done anything with someone else in the house…I don’t think you are creepy.”  
“Because I’m not. I swear. I’m just a regular guy with common needs. I’m not kinky or something. I’ve never done anything that could be consider kinky in slightest!”  
“Oh my god!” Blaine laughed and shook his head disbelievingly. “I didn’t mean it that way, Kurt. And I wouldn’t mind if you were a bit kinky. We all have our own fantasies, don’t we?” A smirk appeared on Kurt’s face.  
“Fantasies? What are your fantasies, Blaine?”  
“Nothing uncommon...a few positions I’d like to try...shower sex...wall sex...some roleplays…”  
“Roleplays, huh? They can be fun...”  
“I wouldn’t know…”  
“What?”  
“I haven’t done anything out of ordinary sex in bed…Besides my first boyfriend everyone was practically a stranger to me so I didn’t go into crazy stuff...”  
“I hardly consider shower sex a crazy stuff...” Kurt remarked teasingly.  
“Do you think I’m weird?”  
“No, of course not. The whole point of enjoying sex is being comfortable with what you are doing.”  
“Yeah, but I’m a grown man who’s had several sexual partners and I haven’t done much except basics…Maybe there is something wrong with me. People have sex with their roommates in the house all the time and here I am, not able to do anything with you and we haven’t even got to a point of actual intercorse yet.”  
“Blaine, sweetie, look at me.” Blaine raised his eyes from the pillow and found a pair of beautiful orbs watching him without any judgment. “We all go at our own pace. Whatever we will end up doing has to be consensual. I’m not really experienced as well. I had one boyfriend. And we were pretty okay with having sex in ordinary positions without a need to bring something new to our bedroom. We had shower sex occasionally and I really liked it. We did some roleplays once in a while but mostly it was just slow lovemaking in bed. You don’t have to be embarrassed or feel bad for not having porn star skills. I honestly don’t care about it. What I care about is being honest with each other about things we like and don’t like.”  
“I like being in your arms.” Blaine snuggled closer to him and put his head in the crook of Kurt’s neck. Kurt wrapped his arms around him and kissed his hair.  
“I like having you in my arms.” He responded with a smile in his voice. “Can I ask you something?”  
“Of course you can, honey.” Blaine murmured.  
“While we are on this topic...Are you top or bottom?”  
“Both...I don’t have preferences to just one…Why?”  
“I’ve never bottomed.”  
“So you are trying to find out whether I’m okay with you being exclusively top?”  
“No...I’d like to try it one day…bottoming.”  
“Why haven’t you yet?”  
“I don’t know...I was a virgin and Adam wanted me to top at the beginning because he was afraid that the difficulties that came with bottoming at first would discourage me from having sex...then we jumped into a pattern we were both satisfied with and he never brought it up again. Neither did I...I guess I wasn’t ready for it.”  
“It’s okay. I think it’s something you should be really sure about. And for the record, I saw what you have to offer and when we come to that, I’ll gladly take you up my ass…”  
“Fuck, Blaine!” Kurt groaned. “You can’t talk like this when you want me to behave because Rachel is in the next room!”  
“So it does something to you? Me talking like that? Because there are so many things I’d love to tell you, Kurt.” Blaine purred and peppered Kurt’s neck with small kisses.  
“Shut up or I’m going to kick Rachel out in the middle of the night!”  
“Duly noted.”  
“Great.”  
“Can I ask you something in return?”  
“Sure, sweetie.”  
“Would you be my date on Nick’s and Jeff’s Halloween party?”  
“I thought you didn’t want to go…”  
“I didn’t…”  
“So what changed?”  
“I wanna show off my boyfriend.”  
“Pretty good reason.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“Yes. I’ll go with you.”  
“Thank you.”  
“You are very welcome.”

Blaine was alone in the bed the next morning. He heard some noise from behind the door and there was a soft singing too. He knew the voice. And it surely didn’t belong to a man that was supposed to be beside him right now. Blaine had to think really hard whether to join Rachel in the kitchen or wait for Kurt’s return. What the hell was he going to do? How should he act in front of his boyfriend’s roommate after he had clearly spent the night in his bed? Blaine always did his best to avoid awkward situations but he was in lost with this one. He stayed under covers for another fifteen minutes until he realized that Kurt most likely wasn’t coming back to him. He got up, put on his own clothes wasting some time on folding Kurt’s sweatpants and t-shirt into perfection and then he walked in the lions’ den. Okay, maybe he was overreacting a little. Or a lot but he couldn’t help himself. No matter how casual Kurt was about leaving Blaine on his own in his apartment, for Blaine it was a big deal.  
“Good morning, sunshine.” Rachel chirped as she overheard the sound of approaching steps.  
“Good morning.” He stopped by the door and looked around diffidently.  
“Coffee?” Rachel asked with a big smile on her face, already reaching for a mug.  
“Thank you.”  
“Why are you standing there? Sit down, Blaine.” Blaine did as she told him. He wanted to find out where Kurt was but instead he took a sip of his coffee.  
“Kurt had to go on some work related meeting. Something about the article he was working on...He’ll be back by eleven.” Blaine’s eyes shifted on the wall where the big clock was and he nearly choked on his drink. An hour. What would he do for the whole hour here?  
“Are you okay?” Rachel watched him closely. “You seem to be tense…”  
“I’m okay.” Blaine said but his statement lacked the conviction he hoped to deliver.  
“How did the meeting with Wes go?” Rachel changed the topic, sensing that Blaine wasn’t himself. He just stared at her for a few seconds, as it was the most ridiculous thing she could have asked. Blaine for the life of his couldn’t comprehend how she was being normal. He had just come out of his boyfriend’s room! He’d spent the night with Kurt and god knows what she was thinking they had been doing all night!  
“I didn’t have sex with Kurt last night.” Blaine blurted out, freezing when he caught up with what he’d just done.  
“O-okay.” Rachel raised her eyebrows, looking at him like he was crazy. “Not that it’s my business...”  
“God,” Blaine groaned and put his head into his hands. “I’m sorry, Rachel. I have no idea what to do right now.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I’m in your apartment. And my boyfriend isn’t here…”  
“You’ve been here before without Kurt.”  
“But we weren’t dating then. I don’t want you to think that I defiled your home or something.” Rachel bit her lips, trying hard not to laugh. She put some bagels in front of him and then sat down by the table, facing the flustered lover boy.  
“Blaine, this is Kurt’s home. If he wants to have sex here, I can’t stop him from that. I don’t care what you do behind closed doors. Unless I walk in on you two going at it in the kitchen or living room, you’re okay.”  
“There should be some rulebook for dating…” Blaine murmured under his breath and Rachel giggled.  
“Stop being so uptight. You don’t need a rulebook. Just do what you think is appropriate and we’ll be fine. Now tell me about that meeting.”  
“It was way too long and the outcome is that Wes is going to sue the shit out of them…”  
“Well, that’s a good thing, right?”  
“I don’t know, Rach. The recording was put down and people who bought it would get their money back. I think that’s enough but Wes wants to make them a cautionary tale for everyone who would want to mess up with copyright violation.”  
“I think Wes is right.”  
“Yeah, but he won’t be the one getting stupid questions from press. My PR is already working on statements and declarations. I’m going to be their puppet.”  
“You can still refuse to comment on it until the case is closed.”  
“You know Wes, you know Annie and you know Derek. Where in the equation of overzealous director, bossy manager and ‘we need to comment on everything’ publicist is my chance to refuse something they suggest?”  
“You made it sound like working with them is hard.”  
“It is. But they are the best at what they’re doing so I keep them around. Sometimes I’d like to have more decision power, though.”  
“Don’t worry about it now and eat your breakfast. I have to go. Will you be okay here on your own?”  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
“Great. I’ll be back for dinner. You can defile my home when Kurt comes back.” She winked at him and Blaine turned red but there was a hint of smile on his lips. 

“Blaine? Are you in here?” Kurt yelled from the door, quickly removing his shoes and jacket.  
“In the living room, honey.”  
“Good. I was afraid you wouldn’t be here.” Kurt came to him and gave him a kiss. “I’m sorry for leaving without telling you but I forgot to mention it last night and I didn’t want to wake you up in the morning.”  
“It’s okay. But a note would be nice the next time.”  
“Are you mad?” Kurt asked sadly and Blaine tugged him closer so he could hug him.  
“No, I’m not mad. I was freaking out when I woke up...and I told Rachel we didn’t have sex last night.”  
“You what?! Why would you do something like that?”  
“I don’t know! It just happened. I’m not used to having a conversation with a boyfriend’s roommate in the morning! I wasn’t sure what she was thinking...I’m not good at this relationship thing. I told you so!” Blaine went defensive and Kurt’s heart ached.  
“Blaine, it’s okay. I’m sorry I left you here alone. I didn’t know it would make you so uncomfortable. We don’t have to spend nights here. We can be in your apartment. I don’t mind.”  
“No. I can’t expect you to hang out just at my place. And I like to be here. I really do. I just need some time to settle as your boyfriend.”  
“Take as much time as you need, sweetie.”  
“Thank you.” Blaine whispered and took Kurt’s hand, entwining their fingers. “I have to leave at three. I’m free till then and Rachel totally gave me permission to get dirty with you while she is away.”  
“Did she now? Interesting…” Kurt said thoughtfully. “And what do you propose to do with that?”  
“Hmmm...I remember being abruptly disturbed yesterday when I was planning giving you a blowjob. Are you still in?”  
“You bet I am!” Kurt fisted his shirt to drag him up from the sofa, ushering his boyfriend to his room.


	21. Chapter 21

Kurt wasn’t the one for watching MTV all day but there was something about Blaine’s video that kept him having the TV station on just in case it would be played. And it was played a lot. Kurt loved the song. He was obsessed with the song. The song was his ringtone and it was driving Blaine crazy. He was afraid what Kurt would do after the whole album came out. It wasn’t that Blaine didn’t appreciate his boyfriend’s support but there were just so many times he could hear his song a day and Kurt always managed to exceed his limits.  
It was no surprise for Blaine to find Kurt in front of theTV when he came home one evening. It was a long day and the last thing he needed was to watch himself on a big screen.  
“Hi, honey.” He said as he entered his living room, throwing himself next to Kurt and reaching for a remote controller.  
“Hey!” Kurt protested and snatched for a device but it was too late.  
“No!” Blaine shook his head firmly and Kurt pouted.   
“You know, one would think I’d get at least a proper greeting after coming home from work.” Blaine complained in half teasing - half serious voice. Kurt leaned forward to kiss him tenderly.  
“How was the photo-shoot?” He asked when Blaine snuggled into his side.  
“Good but I’m tired.”  
“That’s it? You are not going to tell me more?”  
“No. Tired. Tell me about your day.”  
“I woke up and you were already gone so the start of my day wasn’t very pleasant. I stayed here and wrote. I have pre-written columns for the next month so I can devote my time to the article about H&C House I’m working on.”  
“That’s great.” Blaine yawned.  
“Go to sleep, sweetie. We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
“I wanna talk now.”  
“What about?”  
“You haven’t told me how your book is going…” Blaine remarked innocently and Kurt rolled his eyes. He’d been avoiding the topic since he’d mentioned to Blaine that he’d sent the book to a publisher in the summer. “Come on, Kurt. It’s been over two months. Give me an update.”  
“I got rejected from three publishing houses already.”  
“There are other publishing companies…”  
“Blaine, I honestly don’t think anyone would publish it.”  
“I could…”  
“Blaine! We’ve talked about this and I said no!”  
“Okay, but please don’t give up, okay? Just keep sending it until someone is ready for your awesomeness.”  
“I was thinking about trying smaller publishers...It’s pretty hard to be published in big houses, you know.”  
“That’s a good idea.”  
“But don’t get your hopes up.” Kurt warned him, ready to change the topic.  
“Hey! It seems like I’m the only one who wants it to get published! It’s YOUR book Kurt.”  
“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even consider publishing it…” He reminded Blaine who pulled away and looked at him strangely.  
“You said it like it is a bad thing…” Kurt sighed at Blaine’s words and took his hand.  
“It’s not a bad thing. I didn’t mean it that way but I’m not so optimistic on the matter as you are. I don’t want you to be disappointed when it never sees the light.”  
“Maybe that’s the problem, Kurt. Maybe if you tried a bit harder and didn’t have this indifferent attitude towards it, everything would be better.”  
“I don’t have an indifferent attitude.”  
“Yes, you do. You don’t care whether it gets published or not. For someone who did all the hard work you are giving up easily.”  
“Why are you so stingy tonight?”  
“I don’t know. Probably because you underestimate your work unnecessarily and it pisses me off.”  
“You should go to sleep, Blaine. You’re tired and I don’t want to get into a fight. I’m going home and I’ll come here tomorrow to get ready for the party, okay?”  
“Was that a rhetorical question or should I answer?” Kurt sent him a glare and, defeated, Blaine slumped his shoulders.   
“I guess I see you tomorrow, then.” 

Nick and Jeff rented the same establishment for their annual Halloween party every year. They had the same list of guests for four years and it was easier to get crossed off of that list than to get on it. Rachel and Kurt were the lucky ones to be new additions on the list this year. It was supposed to be a party with around a hundred people and Kurt was a bit afraid of it. He and Blaine were going out for less than two months and beside the LA party where Blaine had kissed him, they were keeping their relationship out of the public eye. A hundred people sounded a lot like any official event Blaine had to attend regularly and though Kurt had been to one or two previously, they always passed as friends. Spending their first Halloween together as a couple and pretending to be just friends wasn’t something Kurt was looking forward to but Blaine wanted to go. And Blaine rarely asked for something so Kurt just took it as it was, not saying a word about his reservations.  
They entered the rented club together with Rachel. She immediately mingled between actresses she knew while Kurt and Blaine went looking for the hosts.  
“Finally!” Jeff shouted when he saw them. “What took you so long? Where is the couple costume?” He asked, disappointment at their appearance evident on his face.  
“We didn’t want to gain too much attention.” Kurt explained, earning a glare from Nick.  
“What do you mean? It’s Halloween, you are a couple. You need to have a couple costume. That’s the rule.”  
“If we came in a couple costume, everybody would know we are a couple.”   
“Exactly. That’s the point.” Nick told him, trying to understand what the hell Kurt was talking about.  
“I don’t think now is a good time for press to find out that Blaine has a boyfriend.”  
“This is a private party, Kurt! There is no press here! Do you think we would put Blaine into something that would make him uncomfortable?”   
“No, Nick. I don’t think so. But there are about hundred people in here. People who are probably going to take a lot of pictures and posting it on twitter or instagram or facebook or whatever social media nonsense that is in right now. If Blaine happened to be in a background with a guy in matching costume, I’m pretty sure someone would figure that out.”  
“You worry too much, Kurt.” Jeff patted his shoulder and nudged him to the direction of a big bar. “Let’s ease you up a bit.”  
“Where is Blaine?” Kurt scanned the room quickly. How did he not notice that Blaine left his side?  
“Come on, Kurt. Stop being so uptight.” Nick grabbed his hand and dragged him to a table full of alcohol.   
The guys managed to get Kurt lose a little, and when he found out that he already knew like half of the guests at the party, he calmed down. The party truly was a friendly gathering. Nick and Jeff just had too many friends. An hour later he could even tell he was enjoying himself and he stopped searching for Blaine’s figure every time he separated from him.   
“Having fun?” Blaine sneaked to him from behind, giving him a peck on a cheek.  
“Yeah…” Kurt nodded and let Blaine take his hand. He led them to the booth in a dark corner of the club, out of the sight of partying people. They sat down and Blaine scooted closer to his boyfriend, this time kissing him properly.  
“Hi.” He whispered when they broke the kiss.  
“Hi.” Kurt whispered back and ran his finger down from Blaine’s forehead through his nose to his chin. “You are the cutest Alfredo Linguini I’ve ever seen.”  
“How many Alfredos have you seen so far?”  
“Just you but I’m pretty sure no one can pull the toque better than you do.”  
“You are the sexiest Peter Pan I’ve ever seen.” Blaine said seductively and nipped on Kurt’s jaw.  
“How many Peter Pans have you seen so far?”  
“Enough for me to know that you are the hottest one.” Blaine murmured as he was placing small kisses on Kurt’s neck.  
“So this is why you pulled me into a secluded corner? So you could have your way with me?” Kurt asked teasingly but tilted his head to give Blaine better access.  
“Hmmmm...Precisely.” Blaine found his mouth again and Kurt didn’t have a chance to even blink before he had a lap full of his boyfriend.  
“I told you we would find them sucking faces.” Jeff slid next to the couple, interrupting their making out.  
“I still can’t lose the mental picture of them in Blaine’s kitchen. I really didn’t need to see this.” Nick frowned but joined Jeff on the sofa. Blaine looked at them, without the intention to get down from Kurt.  
“We were in the middle of something. Would you mind leaving us alone?”  
“Yes, we would.” Jeff answered. “You know, if we didn’t get a few shots into your boyfriend to loosen him up, you wouldn’t even have gotten one kiss from him tonight. So shut up.”  
“We promised a photo to our fans.” Blaine groaned at Nick’s statement.   
“Come on, Blaine. We post it on twitter every year. It’s a tradition.”  
“Fine. But then you get lost.”  
“Deal!” Jeff clapped his hand and gave his phone to Kurt. “Kurt, could you please take a picture?”  
“Sure. Say cheese.” Kurt made several shots and then returned the phone to Jeff who started to go through photos in an instant. When he found the one he liked, he posted it with some silly comment Kurt wasn’t interested in.  
“Nick?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why did you post a photo of Wes and Trent doing a duck dance?”  
“What? I didn’t post that.”  
“You did, look.” Jeff put the phone right into Nick’s face.  
“Shit.” Nick laughed. “I wanted to post Rachel with girls. I guess I chose the wrong photo then.” He took his phone out of his pocket and deleted the wrong photo, replacing it with the right one.  
“Kurt, Blaine, say cheese.” He grinned and almost manage to hit the camera shutter when Kurt snatched the device from his hands. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?”  
“You’re not taking the picture of us together!”  
“Why not?!”  
“Because I don’t trust you with not accidentally posting it on twitter!”  
“I wouldn’t do that!”  
“Did you say the same thing to Wes and Trent?”  
“What the fuck, Kurt? Are you really going to teach me how to keep Blaine’s privacy?”  
“Guys, stop yelling!” Blaine ordered and stood up. “Let’s go dance or something.” Kurt obeyed willingly, not liking Nick’s death glare at all. 

Kurt avoided Nick for a good part of the evening, making himself invisible when Nick got closer. He could tell he had set Nick off with his comment but he didn’t understand why Nick snapped at him. The worst thing about the whole situation was that both Blaine and Jeff were acting like nothing happened. He let it be. It did influence his mood though. He had no idea how much time had passed but his inside was boiling so he rather went outside on the patio before making a scene.  
The cold air hit his face and it immediately calmed his nerves. He took a deep breath, allowing the atmosphere of night time in New York engulf him. There were high buildings all around, something he loved about the city. For New York it was relatively silent since the patio was in the yard and noise from the main street was muted.  
He heard the door behind him open and close but he didn’t pay it any further attention until approaching steps stopped right next to him.  
“Here.” There was a phone handed to him and he took it reluctantly. “Go through those pictures.”  
Kurt looked at Nick dully but he did as he was told. He was surprised to find out that Blaine was on every single photo that flicked in front of his eyes on the touchscreen.   
“You know him for what? Nine or ten months? I’ve been with him since he was fourteen, Kurt. He is like a brother to me and I know very well what to do or what not to do so I won’t hurt him or cause any damage. You don’t get to come here and lecture us about his safety. Everything we do IS for his safety. You could have come in a couple costume and I could have taken dozens pictures of you being all lovey-dovey and I can swear none of them would get leaked. It’s Blaine’s file.” He motioned his head to the phone Kurt was still holding in his hand. “Do you have the Blaine file on your phone? A place where you put everything Blaine related to keep it out of pictures and videos that might end up on internet?” Kurt just shook his head no. “I thought so. I want you to listen to me carefully, Kurt. No matter how drunk we are, we always take Blaine and his content into consideration. You wanna be a part of Blaine’s life? Great, but you need to respect his best friends and stop being so fucking superior! He never brought a boyfriend on any party we organized. This was his first go at it and you ruined it for him. You should have fun, doing what other couples do and take thousands of pictures and videos just for you and your friends. Instead, you came here as if this was some kind of battlefield where you had to keep him safe. I don’t think I’ve ever been this offended, Kurt. You don’t have to keep Blaine safe when he is with us. We’ve been doing it for years and we will continue to do so whether you stick around or not.” He took his phone back and walked away from Kurt.  
“You can stay here being a douchebag while I go inside to have fun with your boyfriend or you can join us. Your choice.” He bit one more before entering the club again.  
Ten minutes later Kurt was still standing on the patio, wondering how his caring for Blaine could have possibly turned into offending one of his best friends.  
“Hey…” An arm circled around his waist from behind and he melted into Blaine’s embrace. “What are you doing here all alone?”  
“Thinking…”  
“You’re shaking. You must be cold. Let’s go inside.” Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt’s arms, urging him inside. They went straight to the booth in the corner where Blaine opened his arms and Kurt snuggled to him, trying to catch Blaine’s body heat.  
“Is everything okay?” Blaine asked, concerned.  
“No. I don’t have a Blaine file on my phone…” Kurt mumbled and Blaine sighed.  
“I’m so sorry honey. I thought he would let it go. If I’d known I would have talked to him...”  
“I have no idea what I’ve done wrong.”  
“Nothing. It’s just Nick’s overprotectiveness mixed with booze and here we are. And also Nick’s own shit that is just in his head. I’m sorry he took it out on you.”  
“Am I a bad boyfriend?”  
“No!” Blaine pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. “What the fuck did he tell you?!”  
“Nothing. He didn’t tell me I am a bad boyfriend. He just hinted some things and when I stop and think about them, he is right. I ruined this party for you with all my attempts not to look like a couple…”  
“You didn’t ruin anything, Kurt. Whatever Nick told you, he is going to beg for your forgiveness in the morning. He doesn’t mean it that way. I’ll talk to him tomorrow, okay? He can’t be like this to you.”  
“No, please don’t. I have my fair share of fault in this mess as well.” Kurt rested his forehead against Blaine’s while his fingers were playing with the curls on the nape of his neck.   
“You are a perfect boyfriend.” Blaine declared and leaned forward, capturing Kurt’s lips with his own in a slow, deep kiss that turned Kurt’s stomach into a butterfly farm. Kurt put his head on Blaine’s shoulder, dazed from the tender moment they had just shared.  
“Dance with me?” He requested after a while of silence and Blaine stood up, offering his hand to him. They swayed into the rhythm of a slow song right beside the booth, enjoying their closeness. Blaine nuzzled his nose into Kurt’s neck and then put his lips there, lingering. He repeated his action several times, choosing different spots on Kurt’s skin. His hands were roaming all over Kurt’s back, firmly gripping the muscle through the fabric of Kurt’s shirt, making Kurt whimper quietly.  
“How long do you want to stay here?” Kurt whispered in his ear and then nibbled on his earlobe.  
“What are the other options for our night?”   
“You and me naked in your bed…”   
“I think it’s time for us to go.”

 

The morning light covered Blaine’s face and he wrinkled his nose, rolling on his other side, away from the sun beams. His arms instinctively reached for Kurt, bringing him closer. He sighed contently and let the sleep take over again.  
Kurt was woken up by uprising sun too, internally groaning when he found out that it was just early morning. Blaine’s head was resting on his chest and he could feel the rest of Blaine’s naked form under the cover. Kurt smiled, stroking Blaine’s wild curls lovingly. He knew very well why the curtains weren’t pulled over the window...   
They were kind of busy when they got home. The costumes fell down on the floor in a matter of seconds and then it was just skin on skin, fingers and lips everywhere and the urgency of more and more, harder, faster until both of them collapsed on the bed, spent and tired, having enough energy just to wipe away the mess from their bodies before they closed their eyes.  
It had been only a couple of weeks since their relationship progressed to a more intimate level but Kurt already felt like they were in sync. He more than once remembered his father’s words to use sex as a connection to another person. It was so easy with Blaine. Everything just seemed to click perfectly with him. The constant need to be close to him, to protect him from all the bad things and make him happy was now an essential part of Kurt’s being.   
Kurt’s phone buzzed somewhere between clothes scattered on the carpet. He fumbled for it from his position on the bed, trying not to move too abruptly so he wouldn’t wake Blaine up. He managed to get the phone and read an email, surprised it was from Nick.

Kurt, I’m so sorry for yesterday. Please, forgive me. I’m sending something in attachment in hopes it’ll help you to accept my apology. Also keep in mind that this mail was sent to you at dawn. That is how sorry I am. I can’t sleep. 

Hugs,

Your wonderful friend Nick 

PS: If I’m forgiven, can we meet for beer tomorrow while Blaine is at that award thing? 

Kurt opened the file attached to Nick’s email and his heart fluttered. It was a picture of Blaine and him, slow dancing by the booth. It was indisputable that they were in their own bubble, not caring about the world around them.   
“What’s that?” Blaine asked in a hoarse voice, kissing Kurt’s chest softly before hoisting himself up on his elbows. Kurt showed him a picture and a big grin appeared on his boyfriend’s sleepy face.  
“That’s us.” Blaine stated the obvious.  
“Yeah. Nick sent it as an apology.”  
“It’s a nice photo.”  
“I’m going to make the Blaine file on my phone…” Blaine snorted but Kurt ignored him. “We are going to print this and have it framed. I’ll keep one in my apartment and you’ll keep one here.”   
“Are we going to be that kind of couple?”   
“What kind?”  
“The kind with pictures of us all over our places?”  
“You don’t want to?” Kurt’s question came out weak and Blaine kissed him sweetly to ease his sudden tension.  
“Of course I do, honey. We should start taking pictures, though. This is the first one we have. You can’t make a collection with just one picture.”  
“See? And that is why I need the Blaine file on my phone.”


	22. Chapter 22

Nick was already waiting for Kurt in their favorite bar, two glasses of beer in front of him, when Kurt rushed inside, aware of being late.  
“I’m so sorry, Nick. Rachel was being difficult and I couldn’t get out of my own apartment. I swear, one day she’ll be the reason for me being sentenced for murder!”  
“What did she do?”  
“She got an offer to teach improv classes in NYADA. Their current teacher is leaving for Hollywood. She wanted to discuss her curriculum…”  
“She wasn’t really interested in your opinion, was she?”  
“Not at all. We got into a fight. I called her out on her bullshit and she threw a fit. I hope she’ll calm down by tomorrow.”  
“You can still stay with Blaine or me and Jeff while she is pissed.”  
“Thanks, Nick, but I’m not going to let her stubbornness kick me out of my apartment.” Kurt took a sip of his beer and then he played with his phone for a few seconds before showing it to Nick.  
“Look,” he said proudly. “I have the Blaine file.”  
“Kurt, god, I’m so, so sorry.” Nick started to apologize but Kurt interrupted him.  
“Stop it, Nick. I have twenty mails in my inbox proving that you are sorry. You don’t have to be, though. I was out of line as well…You’re his best friend, of course you wouldn’t have done anything to hurt him.”  
“I was mad...I tend to be mean when I drink and someone pushes my limits.”  
“I guess I’m not the first one you’ve taken your frustration out on.”  
“No. How do you know?”  
“Jeff and Blaine acted like nothing happened so I kind of figured out that it’s nothing new for them.”  
“I told Cooper much worse things two years ago than I told you at the party.”  
“Cooper?”  
“Yeah. He was really overprotective after he found out about the panic attack Blaine had had at the mall. One day Jeff and I were fooling around and being irresponsible, but we wouldn’t have done anything that could possibly have a negative outcome to Blaine. Cooper didn’t think it was that funny and we got into a fight. He was just looking out for his brother. The same way you were looking out for your boyfriend. You did nothing wrong.”  
“I’m glad Blaine has such a great friend, Nick. We did the exact same thing. I snapped at you, you snapped at me. I think we could settle this as something we are both sorry about and let it go.” Nick handed Kurt his phone back and stayed silent. He was frowning, clearly not happy about Kurt’s suggestion and for a while Kurt thought he was going to get another piece of Nick’s mind.  
“You know what hurt the most about it? That you assumed I could do something harmful to him?”  
“No.”  
“That you were right.”  
“What? Nick, no. I wasn’t. I was…”  
“No, Kurt. I did it before. I did things that hurt him without thinking about it first. You were right to be protective of him.”  
“Okay, I’m not going to pretend that I know what you are talking about. What the hell, Nick?”  
“When we came to the city together, Blaine was a bit different. He was full of life and he was so happy. We went out almost every night, we met lot of new people and I forced him into dating. He was single, other guys were lusting for him and I didn’t see anything wrong about it. He had several dates that didn’t end up well. Then he got cast on Broadway and he wanted to focus on his career only, but I still continued setting him up with guys. Jeff told me not to do it, but I was adamant. Blaine wasn’t one for hook ups as we were, and I was on a mission to find him someone so he wouldn’t be alone. Turns out that none of my candidates were interested in having a relationship with Blaine. They either wanted sex or an audition. They never really went out with him for him but for an advantage that could come with him. Eighty percent of Blaine’s failed relationships are my fault. The way Blaine is now, it’s my fault. All his insecurities and loss of faith in people is all my fault.”  
“You do realize how crazy this is, right?”  
“It’s not crazy. I did it to him. And it took Blaine being completely broken until I finally gave up. Since then, I think twice whether I do something that concerns him.”  
“None of it is your fault, Nick. Blaine was an adult. He made his choices. He could have said no to those dates…”  
“You know he can’t say no…”  
“But he still had a chance to. You tried to make him happy. You knew he wanted to be with someone; to have a boyfriend to share his life with. So you did your best to give it to him. If you had known how it would end, you wouldn’t have introduced him to those guys. You didn’t hurt him on purpose.”  
“It was my idea to go to the mall where he got cornered…”  
“What does that have to do with you setting him up on dates?”  
“Nothing. It was just another thing I did that hurt him.”  
“Jesus, Nick! That’s bullshit.”  
“He stopped dating and signed the album contract. His career escalated from that point. Suddenly he wasn’t just a break-out Broadway star, but a pop star as well. He used to go out with us but there were always fans that wanted to talk to him or have something signed. I don’t know why I thought it would be a great idea to go to the mall. I brought him to a place with hundreds of people.”  
“Nick, he could have said no. And you didn’t make those people corner him.”  
“Jeff went to the restroom. We agreed to meet in a bookstore because Blaine wanted to buy a book. I left him there alone. I needed to check on something in a video game store and I LEFT him alone, Kurt. I was so stupid. By the time I came back, he was already on the verge of panic. What kind of a friend I was?”  
“Did he ever blame you for what happened?”  
“No.”  
“Then why the guilt trip?”  
“I don’t know. I was the one who put him through hell, Kurt.”  
“Not intentionally.”  
“No, but I still did. It’s different now. I am really careful but at the party you seemed to be convinced that I would do something stupid again and it pissed me off.”  
“Nick, it wasn’t personal. I would have snapped at Jeff had he tried to take a picture. Blaine is doing his best to keep me secret. I just go with that.”  
“You know why he does that, right?”  
“Yeah, of course. It’s not ideal for him be in a relationship with someone out of business. It would give him more bad publicity than good…”  
“Are you serious?” Nick asked, resentful. “Have you talked to him about it?”  
“Not really...to be honest, not at all.”  
“Blaine doesn’t give a shit about good or bad publicity. He is trying to protect you. He knows the moment your name is out there, things will get complicated and he doesn’t want you to run away.”  
“Why would I run away?”  
“Look, I know him. He is still insecure about your relationship and he needs to be sure you are going to stay when all hell breaks loose.”  
“Of course I’m going to stay!”  
“You have no idea what you are about to deal with, Kurt.”  
“And he does? He never had a boyfriend! How does he know what will happen?”  
“We’ve already been there.”  
“Could you be more specific?” Kurt urged him. He was uneasy. Blaine never talked about this. If his boyfriend was afraid of Kurt leaving him, then Kurt wasn’t a good boyfriend at all. What kind of vibe was he sending to Blaine?  
“When Blaine’s first album came out, it got to the top ten immediately. He became a star from one day to another and people were trying to get to know more about him. It was constant interest from press and fans and it was exhausting. Jeff and I often accompanied him to the events. Two months later, there were fights on the internet about who he was dating. We had our twitter spammed by questions, stupid remarks, insults...don’t even get me started on what was going on on Tumblr. People were arguing about who would be better for him. They dug up information about us from the Dalton web page and old youtube accounts of the Warblers...There were even people who thought we were in some kind of weird threesome relationship because we were living together. Suddenly, the show I was in at the moment was sold out three months in advance, but as it turned out, half of the audience just hoped to see Blaine supporting his boyfriend. We laughed it off, the whole situation was just ridiculous, but it is going to be different with you actually being his boyfriend. I didn’t care that people hated me because they’d rather have seen him with Jeff. I didn’t mind getting pictures of Blaine and Jeff looking at each other as proof of what true love looks like...It didn’t matter because none of it was true. I don’t know if I would have been so cool about it if I was the one dating him. They even found some old pictures of him and Sebastian and then it was three groups of people fighting about who was a better match for Blaine.”  
“Who is Sebastian?”  
“Blaine’s boyfriend from Dalton. I thought you knew about him.”  
“I know about him but Blaine never said a name.”  
“Oh…” Nick halted a bit. There must have been a reason Blaine hadn’t shared this information with Kurt and Nick wasn’t sure how much he could actually tell.  
“Okay, so this Sebastian guy was dragged into the mess as well?”  
“Yeah...but it’s not important. What I’m trying to say is that when you get to the point of people writing smutty fanfiction about you, you know that they are taking it a little too far.”  
Kurt watched Nick with opened eyes. He was so casual about it, speaking about his experience as it was nothing uncommon. Like it happened to people all the time. Kurt was still in an adapting phase of his relationship with Blaine. He needed to figure out how to adjust to all Blaine’s work activities and trips out of the city while building their romance to something strong and permanent. For as much as Kurt knew, he wanted strong and permanent. It wasn’t until now when he realized that there was a gap in communication between them. Kurt didn’t want to push Blaine. That’s why he never really expressed his thoughts about them as a steady couple. On the other hand, as it turned out, it made Blaine worry about Kurt’s dedication to their relationship.  
“I’m not going to leave him, Nick. Come hell or high water. I don’t care about insults or people thinking I’m not a good match for Blaine. I’ll be with him until Blaine himself tells me not to.”  
“You love him, don’t you?”  
“I do.” Kurt answered simply without missing a beat.  
“We’ve never seen him as happy as he is with you, Kurt. He might not say it but he loves you too.”  
“I’m not sure he’s quite there yet. For now he cares about me and wants to be with me and that’s all that matters.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Jeff wasn’t a good observer. He was a bit thoughtless to small changes because life was too complex for him to pay attention to every single detail. But when he threw himself on the sofa in Blaine’s living room a week after the Halloween party, he knew something was different. His eyes fell on the medium size photo frame on the shelf next to Blaine’s big plasma TV. It was proudly standing in the middle of other’s photos Blaine had there and Jeff knew very well, since he’d been the one to force Blaine to make a photo shelf in the first place three years ago. Blaine had never added another photo there.  
“You extended your photo collection.”  
“I did.”  
“Nick!” Jeff shouted so his best friend could hear him in the kitchen. “Come here!”  
Nick quickly grabbed the sandwich he was making for himself and hurried to see where the fire was.  
“Look!” Jeff pointed his finger on the shelf. “Blaine has a photo of him and Kurt!”  
“That’s a really good shot.” Nick said with a grin. “I wonder who the photographer was. You should thank them for catching that beautiful moment between two lovers.”  
“Thank you, Nick, for catching that beautiful moment. Now, can we put the movie on or do you want to ogle the picture some more?”  
“Hey! Why are you like this? You don’t have to be grumpy!”  
“I’m not grumpy, Jeff.”  
“Well, your tone was.”  
“I’m sorry. I just don’t see what the big deal is. It’s one photo.”  
“I made that shelf and you never added anything there. It is a big deal, Blaine. And it’s cute that you and Kurt want to have couple pictures in your homes.”  
“It’s just one photo. It might be gone in a few weeks…”  
“What the hell are you talking about?”  
“No matter how many pictures of me and Kurt are in this apartment, they say nothing about the relationship.”  
“Are you two okay? Is something going on between the two of you?” Nick asked.  
“We are. For now.”  
“I’m lost.” Jeff shook his head, looking at Blaine as he was crazy. “What is this about, man? You have an amazing boyfriend who is perfect for you.”  
“I know. I know, okay?”  
“Then what is wrong?”  
“He might meet someone else...I mean, he broke up with Adam because he put his work first. I am doing the same thing. We don’t get to spend much time together...He might get bored or one day he might get enough and…”  
“Shut up, Blaine! Kurt knew what he was signing up for when you started dating. He is not gonna leave you because of your job! And you know very well that Adam put all of his free time into work related stuff. You do just what you have to do. No crazy activities that would keep you away from him. Where is this coming from? How long have you been feeling like that?”  
“Look, I take what I can. I’m really happy with him but I don’t think it’s gonna last forever. So for now, I’m going to enjoy our time together before he decides that I’m not what he wants anymore. I’m not stupid, guys.”  
“No, you’re not stupid. You are far beyond idiotic, Blaine! You are afraid to admit your feelings for him that are much deeper than you ever assumed them to be. You are just scared that you might end up with a broken heart! I can’t say you will last forever because I don’t know that but thinking of breaking up when everything is fine? That’s crazy!”  
“Stop yelling at me, Jeff!”  
“I stop yelling when you stop being a moron!”  
“Calm down!” Nick shouted over their bickering and they both abated. “Blaine, I don’t understand. I thought you were happy.”  
“I am. But I realize it’s not a common relationship...We don’t do things other couples do…”  
“Like what?”  
“Like going out on dates or walking in the park or...I don’t know, just simple things that we can’t do. He is okay with that now but it can change as the time passes by.”  
“Are you sure you can’t do that?”  
“I don’t like your tone, Nick. I can hear you judging me.”  
“Well, I’m not going to hide it. I do judge you. You can do whatever you want. You’re just a coward. I know you had a bad experience in the past in a public place but Blaine, it’s been years. You don’t have to be locked in here. This is New York. You’re not the only celebrity living here. People walk the streets or hang out outside their homes and no one gives a damn about it. You are sheltered. And it’s your own fault. You wanna be a better boyfriend for Kurt? Then do something about it. Don’t wait until he leaves you. Make sure he’ll never want to leave. Take a risk.”  
“It’s not that simple, Nick.”  
“As soon as you stop complicating it, it’ll be simple. It’s your life. You have a guy you’ve always dreamt of. Let your relationship grow without hidden fears which you have no evidence for. Take one step at the time. Tell him you love him if you feel that way. He is not going to break up with you for any of the reasons you’ve just mentioned. But he might break up with you when he finds out you don’t trust him.”  
“I do trust him. He knows that.”  
“You don’t trust him enough to believe he won’t hurt you in the long run.”  
“I think we should put the movie on. I really don’t want to talk about this.” Nick and Jeff exchanged concerned looks but stayed silent. There was a lot under the surface. Blaine was probably the most complex person they knew. The worst thing about it all was that every time they thought Blaine had made a progress with his insecurities, something new appeared and they were at the beginning again.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Sitting between Blaine’s legs, his back against Blaine’s chest and Blaine’s arms securely around his waist, Kurt felt very content. He was reading a book while Blaine was watching a documentary about dolphins and everything was impeccable. Blaine placed a kiss on his cheek or the side of his neck once in a while and Kurt turned his head to peck his lips before diving into the story again.  
Regardless of what Kurt thought, Blaine didn’t pay any attention to the animals on the screen of his television. He’d been thinking a lot about his relationship with Kurt and the more he analyzed it, the more concerned he became. It had been little over two months. Two months of spending their time together in one of theirs apartments, often after dinner in exclusive restaurants. No hand holding or kissing, no hint of them being a couple outside their homes. A few events they had been at were more of a PR thing than something enjoyable and, besides the Halloween party, they hadn’t done anything a ‘normal’ couple would do. Blaine was obsessed with that term. The man he was holding in his arms right now deserved to have everything his heart desired. And Blaine would love to give him that. He would absolutely love to do anything and everything to keep Kurt in his life as long as possible. But...Why did there always have to be but? And was this but worth holding back on something they both wanted? Blaine knew Kurt accepted his lifestyle. That didn’t mean he liked it, though. How much time would it take for Kurt to get tired of doing the same things all over again? How much time until he would want to have a normal date? Like going to see a movie or having dinner somewhere less fancy but more Kurt?  
Blaine tightened his arms around Kurt’s slim body, protecting what was his, for now, from troublesome thoughts. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of Kurt’s neck, breathing him in. He felt Kurt’s jaw moving slowly where it was resting against his temple and without having to look he knew that Kurt was smiling. He also knew he was about to get a sweet kiss from his boyfriend.  
“Is everything alright? You seem a little tense.” Kurt asked, putting another small kiss on Blaine’s lips to ease him a bit.  
“Yeah, I’m fine.”  
“Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be all yours, okay?”  
“Okay.” And Kurt went back to reading, leaving Blaine to his nagging thoughts again.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
 _“Is everything alright? You seem a little tense.” Nick asked, watching his friend closely._  
 _“Yeah, I’m fine.”_  
 _“Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be all yours, okay?”_  
 _“Okay.” Blaine nodded and Nick quickly left the bookstore, heading for the video game store. Blaine looked around anxiously. He had a bad feeling that someone was following them since they came to the mall but he didn’t say a thing to his friends. They were in the mall, after all. It was crowded. Of course it felt like someone was right behind him. When his eyes fell on a group of teenage girls by the entrance, his distress increased. He’d seen a few of the girls a while ago as they were passing Starbucks on the second floor. The group got bigger and it seemed like they were waiting for someone. One of the girls raised her hand and waved to another group of teenagers and Blaine turned around to hide between shelves. He hoped no one would bother him with signing autographs this time. As much as he appreciated the support of his fans, he also didn’t want to be their slave. And that’s how he perceived the whole situation. He didn’t have the strength to say no to them but slowly it started suffocating him. Wherever he went, he was afraid of people recognizing him and demanding his attention. He needed a break. He needed his life back._  
 _Going to the backside part of the bookstore where the section of foreign language literature was, he made himself believe that no one would pursue him there. He took out a French version of The Misanthrope by Moliere in a leather cover, the birthday present for his father and decided to stay right where he was until one of his friends returned._  
 _“Excuse me,” a soft voice spoke, startling him. “Can I get your autograph?” Blaine closed his eyes to calm down a bit before facing a girl._  
 _“Yeah, sure. What’s your name?”_  
 _“Ellie.” She handed him a notepad with pen and he scribbled down a few words._  
 _“Thank you.”_  
 _“Have a nice day, Ellie.” He smiled at her, giving her the notepad back. She squealed and before Blaine could even blink, there were around twenty teenagers in between the shelves full of books, trying to get closer to him. Blaine stepped back until he was pressed against the wall, but it didn’t help a bit because he suddenly have no way of escaping. The group of people was getting bigger and bigger and they were talking to him, some of them were pulling on his shirt to get some reaction out of him but all he concentrated on was his breathing. He wrapped his arms around his torso, frantically searching for the way out. He couldn’t move left, he couldn’t move right, he couldn’t move forward and there was a wall behind him. He was trapped. His ears were ringing and his heart was throbbing in his chest wildly. His knees were weak but he refused to let himself sit down. He couldn’t get on the ground. It would be a fatal mistake. The same mistake he had made years ago. The same mistake that had placed him and Tommy into the hospital. If he hadn’t fallen on the ground then everything could have been different. If he had fought for a while longer...just a while longer and Tommy wouldn’t have been injured so badly. He had to stand still now. He had to hold on. He couldn’t give up. Not this time. He had to breathe. Why couldn’t he get any air into his lungs?!_  
 _“GET.THE.FUCK.AWAY.FROM.HIM!”_  
 _Nick! Nick was there! Blaine couldn’t see him but he heard him and it was enough to compel himself to take a shallow breath. In and out, in and out, in and out…_  
 _“Jeff! Call the security! Jesus Christ, people! Move!” Nick finally managed to get to Blaine but the crowd locked them up again._  
 _“If you don’t let me pass, I’m calling the police!” Nick yelled but teenagers were on their mission to get close to Blaine Anderson and none of them were willing to give up. The security came then and helped Nick and Jeff escort Blaine into the car, using employee only areas of the mall._  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine was aware that he let his fears rein over his life. But after what had happened at the mall, he had no intention of repeating his experience. Much less let Kurt go through something like this. Would him being with Kurt stop people from mobbing them? Would Kurt’s presence there be enough for him not to have a panic attack if such a thing happened again? He was at a loss. If he was ever going to take Kurt out ‘normally’, he would have to jump head first into it. There were no precautions he could take. He tried to find out how to do it safely but he couldn’t come up with anything that would give him the right amount of protection he needed. The only place out of order was the coffee shop across the H &C House. He loved going there despite it being a very public place. He never got recognized there and if he did, people didn’t come to him. And even if they would acknowledge him, it would be okay because the shop was small and there was no chance of a big crowd violating his personal space...Then there was a gas station on their way to Ohio. Another small place where he could sit on the hood of Kurt’s car, licking an ice lolly without any fears. And Burt’s garage. He’d spent the whole day on their visit to Ohio in the summer at Burt’s workplace. Not too many people there, quite a small scope...The flower shop he’d gone to with Finn, not larger than ten square meters, able to engulf not more than three or four customers...Blaine snickered and shook his head. Of course there was a solution right in front of his nose all this time. He was just too blind to see it!  
“Sweetie? You sure you’re okay?”  
“I’m sure. Finish your reading.”  
“You just snorted into my shoulder.”  
“It’s nothing, honey. I promise.”  
“Two more pages and I’m done. Then we can talk about you being disconcerted.”  
“I’m not. Read your two pages.” Kurt did so, hoping that Blaine would sooner or later admit what was on his mind.  
“People are asking about you.” Blaine said quietly when Kurt closed the book.  
“What people?”  
“Press, people on the internet, fans...They noticed you and they ask about you...Derek told me.”  
“Your publicist is doing a great job. He’ll figure out how to keep me a secret for a while longer, don’t worry.”  
“I just wanted you to know. I’ll understand if you don’t accompany me to the events anymore.”  
“What does Derek think about it?” Kurt asked, lacing his fingers with Blaine’s.  
“He ignores it for now. I don’t go through my mentions on twitter and I can’t read every single thing someone tweets me but apparently there are lots of questions about you. You know I post something every other day to be active on social networks but Derek deals with all responses. I don’t do that. From what he told me, people are curious...”  
“Do you want me to stop being your plus one?”  
“No, I don’t but I also won’t force you into coming. It’s up to you, Kurt. I really appreciate that you go with me occasionally but it’s your privacy that is more important.”  
“If we don’t announce my name, they have no way of knowing.”  
“Don’t underestimate the power of fandom.”  
“Why? Are you afraid they’ll write a porn about us?” Kurt teased him.  
“Oh my god! Who told you?”  
“Nick. The other day when we were at the pub. And he admitted you even read that stuff.”  
“I’m gonna kill him! I didn’t read it! They got drunk and read it! Repeatedly! Not me!”  
“I was just kidding, sweetie. Nick told me what you guys went through and I know what I can expect once my name is out there. I’m not afraid of it.”  
“I need you to be sure. The more you’ll be seen with me, the more they’ll be trying to find out who you are.”  
“I don’t care, Blaine. We are together. I’m your boyfriend and I’m going to support you and accompany you no matter what. That’s what boyfriends do.”  
“You don’t have to, though. Okay? If you don’t feel like it, I won’t force you. I know how you hate those events, honey.”  
“You don’t love them either. And you don’t drag me with you for every single one of them. I’m okay with how we work together. Don’t worry.” Kurt turned around and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck, kissing him softly. Blaine returned the kiss but Kurt could tell he wasn’t really into it.  
“There is something more that is bothering you.” Kurt stated, pulling away from Blaine to look at him.  
“I want to take you out on a date.” Blaine replied timidly. “Can I pick you up tomorrow after the glee club in front of H&C house?”  
“I don’t know, Blaine. I don’t feel like going there in a suit. Why don’t you pick me up at home?”  
“No suit this time. Dress code is casual.”  
“No fancy dinner?”  
“No.”  
“What are we doing then?”  
“You’ll see tomorrow.” Blaine said without any intention of giving away his plans. He leaned forward to press his lips against Kurt’s and it was no wonder when they ended up naked and sweaty in a bundle of their bodies, this time Blaine diving completely into what they were doing.


	23. Chapter 23

Kurt hopped into Blaine’s car the next day, giving his boyfriend a big, toothy smile.  
“Hi, sweetie.”   
“Hi, honey.” Blaine greeted him back with the exact same expression on his face as Kurt was wearing and closed the short distance between them to connect their lips briefly.  
“What are you doing?” Kurt asked, amazed when Blaine pulled away.  
“Kissing you hello.”  
“But we’re outside.”  
“We’re inside of the car.”  
“Yes, but we are still on the street…”  
“Does that mean I can’t kiss my boyfriend while we are on the street?”  
“No, it just...we never do that.”  
“There is always a first time for everything.” Blaine responded and put the car in the motion, leaving Kurt wondering what that was about.   
“Tell me how the kids are doing. What song did they learn today?”   
“A Spoonful of Sugar.”  
“Mary Poppins?”  
“Yes. They kept repeating the medicine go down all over again. They didn’t learn anything beside that line from the song.”  
“Well, you have a chance to teach them next week.”  
“No way! Are you crazy? If I had to listen to the medicine go down again, I would have to kill myself!”  
“Have you tried songs from Oliver? The Broadway musical? I think they are less annoying than the one you’ve been doing today.”  
“That’s not a bad idea, sweetie. Thank you.”  
“I’d do anything, for you dear, anything, for you mean everything, to me…” Blaine sang softly.  
“I know that I’d go anywhere, for your smile, anywhere, for your smile, everywhere, I’d see.” Kurt joined in and as soon as they finished the song, Blaine started another. He was relaxed, that much was obvious and Kurt couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. There was no tension in his body and it was a rare occurrence. His eyes were shining, sending a glance full of slyness at Kurt once in a while. He reminded Kurt of a little kid who knew a secret but wasn’t going to tell a thing. Kurt played along with him. He didn’t demand the answers for the questions that were forming in his mind. Like why Blaine was wearing the clothes Kurt had given to him for their trip to Ohio, or why they were crossing the borders of the city.   
Blaine’s hand was steady on Kurt’s knee for a bigger part of their drive to a nameless place they were heading to and Kurt took it now and then to kiss Blaine’s palm or knuckles. Kurt wasn’t sure if their date was supposed to be the drive somewhere and then back home or if there was something more waiting for him once Blaine stopped the car but he didn’t mind either of the options. He could spend days driving around with Blaine and singing silly songs.  
“I’d love to see you like this more often.” Kurt said quietly.  
“Like what?”  
“At ease, without any worries…”  
“I’ll do my best, honey.”   
“I know you will.”  
“Aren’t you gonna ask me where we are going?”  
“Nope.” Kurt shook his head. “You would have already told me if you wanted me to know.”  
“But you love to be in control. I know it must be killing you that you have no idea what’s going on. Frankly, I didn’t expect you to hold on for so long.”  
“Sometimes it’s good to give up on control and let someone else lead.”  
“Thank you for being patient.”  
“Thank you for being wonderful.” Blaine’s lips twitched into a smile. He didn’t take his eyes off of the road because he was sure his face was the worst shade of red. Kurt found it endearing that he could make Blaine blush with a simple comment. It was sweet and kind of silly but Kurt loved how Blaine would bite his lips to suppress the grin on his face so Kurt wouldn’t know how flattered he was being.   
“Here we are.” Blaine announced and stopped the car at the small parking lot. Kurt looked around, his eyes widening in shock.  
“I’m sorry?” Kurt asked, tearing his sight from the building in front of him and turning his head to face his boyfriend. “Where exactly are we?”  
“We are having dinner here tonight.”  
“It’s a diner.”  
“I know.”  
“It’s a diner.” Kurt repeated his previous words with more emphasis.  
“Come on. You’re gonna love it.” Blaine got out of the car and Kurt didn’t miss the change in his posture.   
“Blaine,” Kurt came to him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing?”  
“I want to go inside and have dinner with you.”   
“Okay.” Kurt resigned on asking more because Blaine was looking very uncomfortable and Kurt couldn’t tell whether it was his questions or their surrounding that made him uneasy.  
They walked into the diner silently. It was a small place with booths by the big windows on the longest wall. Kurt chose a table by the door that didn’t look half as good as the booths but at least there were no windows into the street. He sat down and gestured at Blaine to sit opposite, with his back to the entrance.  
“We could have taken one of the booths.”  
“I don’t like eating by the window. Everyone can see what is on my plate and I feel like I’m in a showcase. This table is nice, isn’t it? We have nice pictures on the wall and a bit of privacy.”  
“Kurt,” Blaine said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. “You chose the hard chairs over a big and comfy booth.”  
“I wanna sit here. I like this spot.”   
“Stop it! I know what you are doing but you don’t have to!”  
“What am I doing?”  
“You know very well, Kurt! I don’t need you to protect me or whatever this is about! You don’t have to treat me with kids gloves!”   
“Blaine, it’s not like that.”  
“Excuse me, okay? I need a minute.” Kurt watched him disappear in a restroom, without having a chance to say something more. Their date had been so great so far. How the hell did he manage to piss Blaine off? He was just being himself, always putting Blaine’s content first. How was that a bad thing?  
Five minutes passed and Blaine didn’t come back. The anxious feeling in Kurt’s stomach was getting bigger and he couldn’t imagine how he would eat any of the food he’d just ordered for them.   
Another five minutes and Kurt had enough. He marched into the restroom forcefully to get his boyfriend out of there at all costs.   
“How long do you want to hide in here?” Blaine raised his eyes from the floor to look at him and shrugged his shoulders.   
“Do you want to go? Do you want to stay? Our food is being prepared but we can tell them to pack it and we can eat it in the car…”  
“I wanted one day. One day when it would all be about you and not about me. And I know it’s kind of pathetic that we had to drive for two hours to get here but...I could sit by the window, Kurt.”  
“You would be tense if we sat there. You would be on a display and you hate it. We have a nice table where no one except our waitress can see you. We can go back in there and enjoy our date. You can tell me how you found this place and we can order a cheesecake as a desert before going home. Or we can just leave if you’re not in the mood anymore. I’m sorry I ruined this for you. I didn’t mean to make you angry.”  
“I wasn’t angry. Disappointed that things weren’t going my way, but not angry.”  
“I don’t know how things were supposed to go but I have to tell you that I really appreciate what you did. I love this place and I’d love to go out there and eat those burgers I ordered for us. If you feel like that, of course.”  
“I am a little hungry.” Blaine admitted.  
“Okay. Lets go!”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“This is so good.” Kurt took another big bite of his burger with grace, making Blaine wonder how he was even able to do that without anything falling down on the table, or worse, on his shirt.  
“I really didn’t consider you for a burger guy. With your healthy diet I expected you to order something lighter.”  
“I love burgers. Don’t eat them often, though…When my dad and Carol started dating, my dad tried to bond with Finn. They did all those father-son things he couldn’t do with me and I felt left out. So sometimes I joined them when they went for burgers. It became sort of a tradition while we were in high school. My dad taking his sons for meal...It was nice.”  
“My dad used to take Nick, Jeff and me to model aircraft flying. We loved it. Our planes usually ended completely damaged but it was amazing.”  
“You and the model aircrafts?”  
“Well, Nick and Jeff usually built my plane for me. With my dad. It was their father-son thing. I just enjoyed seeing it in the air…”  
“Weren’t you jealous? Didn’t you have feelings like they could be better sons for your father than you are?”  
“No. Their home life sucked. I was happy to help them have a real dad once in a while.”  
“Will I ever learn the story behind that? You all just say their families suck.”  
“It’s not really for me to tell, Kurt. They don’t have a good relationship with their parents. Never had. There are some issues that I doubt they could overcome. With their mothers being heartless bitches and fathers being workaholic assholes, they don’t really have anything to work with…”  
“So I’ve heard…But it’s the only thing I know about the situation.”   
“They don’t talk about it lot. Maybe one day they’ll tell you. It’s not that they don’t trust you. They just don’t talk about it much. The same way you don’t talk about your past with other people.”   
“I talk about it with you.” Kurt said as a reminder.  
“I know,” Blaine smiled. “And I’m glad you do.”  
“So how do you know about this place?”   
“When we came to New York, we missed home a lot. Sometimes we needed to get out of the city and go somewhere less crowded. We made a list of possible towns not so far away from NYC that could be similar to Westerville and visited them when one of us felt homesick.”  
“Oh, that’s sweet.”   
“We’ve been here a few times. I thought you might like it.”  
“I do. I haven’t seen much of it but I already like it.”   
“They have an old movie theater nearby. We can walk there after dinner…”  
“Okay.” Kurt nodded, observing him closely but Blaine didn’t give him any reason to think that he was in discomfort.   
There was a talk Kurt dreaded ahead of them. With the information he had from Nick and Blaine’s strange behavior this evening, Kurt had a big suspicion something was going on with his boyfriend. He couldn’t see why Blaine wanted to make the date all about him. He didn’t remember ever complaining about how they worked. Was he giving Blaine the wrong signs all along? Was his behavior misinterpreted? Couldn’t Blaine pick out how happy Kurt was to be with him? How was he supposed to start the conversation? Should he do it tonight and possibly ruin their date again or wait for a better time? Would there ever be a better time for this?   
Kurt tried to fill their dinner with safe topics that couldn’t do any harm. He was postponing inevitable, justifying it with an excuse that the date must go well because Blaine deserved it.   
Another big shock came when they left the diner. Blaine grabbed Kurt’s hand and laced their fingers, tugging him down the street. He continued talking to Kurt like nothing happened, tightening his grip on Kurt’s hand and looking down when someone passed them by. Kurt didn’t comment this time, afraid of setting Blaine off again as earlier.  
It never really occurred to Kurt that love could be something that grows. As far as he knew, all the people he ever loved - be it his family, friends, or Adam - had a constant amount of the emotion from him. It wasn’t something that got bigger. In Adam’s case it was something that got smaller, or disappear even, but it never got bigger. But right now, walking down the street of a town he’d never been to, with the man who owned Kurt’s whole heart already, he realized, that the warm feeling that came with Blaine got warmer by the mere thought of what Blaine was willing to go through for Kurt. Although Kurt had told Blaine several times that public display of affection didn’t define the relationship and Kurt didn’t care about it, it was nice. And Blaine did it despite all of his fear, because he wanted Kurt to have those nice moments. It was a bit overwhelming for Kurt, getting together every single little thing Blaine had done for him so far, each of them speaking volumes of how much he meant to Blaine and how far Blaine was inclined to go in order to make Kurt happy. And Kurt was just as determined to make Blaine happy no matter what.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
“I can’t believe you convinced me to see a zombie movie.” Kurt said when they were seated in the back row of the movie theatre with popcorn and coke between them.  
“It’ll be fun, I promise.” Blaine assured him with a glow in his eyes and Kurt decided that he could live through what was going to be a horrible movie experience since Blaine stepped out of his comfort zone to do something nice for Kurt.  
“You never told me you like zombies.”  
“I don’t. Not a fan of scary movies. But that’s what they play tonight so we don’t really have a choice.”   
“Finn would be proud of me. You have to tell him we were here or he won’t believe me.”   
“I will, honey. Don’t worry. Oh, it’s starting.” Kurt looked around him. There were a few people there, scattered all across the theatre. Some of them in pairs of two, some of them in groups of teenagers but overall it was nearly empty. He focused on the big screen, trying not to set against the movie before he saw it. It was hard though because he felt Blaine’s intense gaze on him.  
“Blaine? Why are you watching me?” He whispered after while.  
“You wanna watch the movie?” Blaine whispered back and leaned closer to him.  
“Isn’t that what we came here for?”  
“No. Not really.” Kurt could see Blaine smirking in the faint light of the screen that was illuminating the room.  
“I don’t under - mmmmhhhhhhhhhh…” Kurt’s eyes shut and he fell under the spell of Blaine’s insistent lips.   
“Blaine,” Kurt breathed when they parted for the air. “What the hell?”  
“I thought that since neither of us is really interested in the movie, we could find a better use of the time.”  
“What better use?”  
“I wanna make out with you, silly.”  
“Make out?”  
“Yeah. You said you’ve never made out in the back row of the movie theater. I volunteer to experience it with you.”   
“You are unbelievable! Is it safe?”  
“No one can see us here. So? What do you say?”  
“Kiss me!”  
“Gladly.”   
By the time the lights went on, their lips were swollen, hair messy and Kurt’s neck was adorned with a hickey.  
“What do you think about zombie movies now?” Blaine asked him teasingly, taking his hand and leading him out of the movie theater.  
“I love them as long you are watching them with me.” Kurt replied with a wink and they slowly headed to Blaine’s car parked in front of the diner.   
“It’s a really nice town. I’m glad you took me here.”  
“We can come here anytime you want. People are very liberal here. We don’t have to be afraid of being ourselves like we would in Lima or Westerville. And it’s not crowded so...”  
“Yeah but maybe we could come earlier the next time. It’ll be pretty late when we get back to New York.”  
“Do you have plans for tomorrow? Is there something you need to do?”  
“No. Why?”  
“There is a cute inn not so far away. We can stay the night…”  
“I’d love to, sweetie, but we don’t have any change of clothes.”  
“We do, actually. I packed a suitcase in case we decide to prolong our date. It’s in the trunk.”   
“You packed us?”  
“Yeah. You have pretty wide collection in my apartment. It wasn’t so hard to pick an outfit for you. I also have our pajamas and all the toiletries you might need.”  
“Why do I have a feeling that you already booked the room?”  
“I did.” Blaine said sheepishly. “You know, just in case.”  
“I guess we are staying the night then.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine entered their room with a suitcase in his hand. He scanned the room that was furnished simply but still somehow cozy. He put the bag on the floor and turned around towards Kurt who was leaning against the door, taking more interest in Blaine than the room itself.  
“I know it’s not much but it’s a small town and you can’t really find The Plaza here. And it’s just for one night so…”  
“Blaine?” Kurt interrupted him with a soft smile and crossed the room to stand right in front of his boyfriend.  
“Yeah?”  
“It’s perfect.” He caressed Blaine’s cheek, connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. “You are perfect.”   
Kurt leaned forward again, kissing Blaine slowly. He gently tilted Blaine’s head for a better angle and let the tips of their tongues touch but he retrieved it before the kiss could become too heated. He loved how Blaine didn’t try to take control over the kiss, how he just surrendered to Kurt without any hesitation. He loved the way Blaine’s heart was beating wildly, pressed against his chest. He loved that Blaine inhaled sharply through his nose, not wanting to be the one to break their kissing for something as unimportant in the moment as air. He loved kissing Blaine. He loved making him feel safe and happy. He loved him.  
“We should take our coats off. It’s really warm in here.” Kurt said after they pulled away. Blaine nodded and unzipped his jacket, throwing it on the chair.   
“You should take these ridiculous clothes off as well…”   
“Shall I remind you that it’s the outfit YOU put together for me in summer?” Blaine teased his boyfriend but allowed him to undress him.   
“I like this outfit on you much better.” Kurt responded as his eyes roamed over Blaine’s naked body. He hurriedly got rid of his own clothes and then took Blaine’s hand, guiding him to the bathroom. Kurt set the water and they stepped into the shower. He took a soap that the inn provided and started washing Blaine’s back. He felt Blaine’s muscles relaxing under his palms but he continued in his massage until he decided it was time to move lower.   
Blaine stood still, enjoying the attention Kurt was giving him. Kurt’s fingers running over his spine, Kurt’s lips occasionally nipping the skin of his neck, Kurt’s chest pressed firmly against his back while he was trying to wash Blaine’s torso from behind...Blaine savoured every moment, every touch, every whispered praise and when Kurt finally turned him around, he surged forward to claim Kurt’s lips in a deep and needy kiss.   
He didn’t know how but suddenly his back hit the wall and Kurt’s hand was around his length as he took control again, forcing his smooth tongue inside of Blaine’s mouth. A whimper got lost in the sound of running water but when Kurt’s teeth bit on his jawline, the moan Blaine let out was audible just fine.  
“So hot…” Kurt groaned, making Blaine wrap his arms around him tighter and scratch his nails into Kurt’s back muscles. “God, Blaine! You drive me crazy, you know that?”  
“Don’t stop! Please, don’t stop!”  
“Oh, trust me, baby, I’m not planning to.” Kurt whispered into his ear and sucked on his earlobe. “What I am planning to do is make you feel good.”  
“You are...oh so good, honey!”  
“Can you feel me?” Kurt ground his hips into Blaine. “Can you feel how hard I am without you having to touch me? That’s what you do to me, Blaine.”  
“Shit!”  
“I know you are close. You can let go anytime you want, sweetheart.” Their moaning got louder, echoing between tile walls of a small bathroom. Blaine eased his grip on Kurt’s back and squeezed his ass, forcing Kurt to thrust his hips harder.  
“A-almost there...faster...Fuck! Your...your hand is magic...YES! Like that! K-keep going!” Kurt sped up his movements, his eyes rolling back. He was so close. So so close but the friction between their bodies wasn’t enough to make him come. He focused fully on Blaine, bringing him over the edge before he stroke himself a few times to follow Blaine into a blissful haze.  
Kurt leaned into Blaine further, protecting them from falling down.  
“I’m sorry.” Blaine said weakly after he got his breathing under control.  
“What for?”  
“I didn’t help to make you come.”  
“You did help plenty, sweetie.” Kurt giggled. “Oh my god! This was incredible.”  
“Let’s shower and go to bed. I can barely stand on my feet.”   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
They lay down on the bed, getting under the covers and scooting closer together. Kurt was playing with Blaine’s damp curls, twirling it around his finger while Blaine’s hand rested on his hip bone, caressing the soft skin there with his thumb.  
“Can we talk?” Kurt asked timidly and Blaine tensed immediately.  
“Did I do something wrong?”  
“No! Not at all, sweetie.” Kurt assured him.  
“Then why are you so serious?”  
“I loved our date, you know. God, I can’t even tell you what it means to me that you’ve done this for me…”  
“But?”  
“But you didn’t have to. I don’t need it. I don’t want you to push yourself to a point when you are not comfortable with what we are doing, Blaine. And there were times when you were uncomfortable tonight.”  
“I just want us to have a normal relationship.” Blaine whispered and removed his hand from Kurt’s hip, placing it under his head. “So you wouldn’t run away too quickly.”  
“I really don’t like that term.”  
“What term?”  
“A normal relationship. It indicates that what we have isn’t normal.”  
“And is it? Is it normal to be locked up in our apartments or have dinners in the finest restaurants or attend only events that are work related? Is it normal not to go out and walk the streets together, seeing a movie or just go grocery shopping?”  
“Maybe it’s not common but it doesn’t mean it’s not normal, Blaine. I love the way we work. I don’t need anything to change and I kind of wonder what this evening was about? Have I ever given you any doubts that I want something different from you? Because I thought I was very clear every time I said I don’t need those things...”  
“You were...But...It’s not even three months since we got together. You might change your mind about it...so I wanted you to know that we can have that...norm-common relationship. I have to dress up for that and we have to leave the city but we can have that.”  
“We can have whatever you want, Blaine. As long as it’s not too much for you.”  
“It wasn’t too much tonight. I promise. I really enjoyed myself, Kurt.”  
“Sometimes I feel like you are keeping things from me. Like there is something going on in your head but you won’t let me in.” Blaine eyes widen in fear and he stiffened even more. He gulped and casted his sight down, confirming Kurt’s assumption.  
“It’s not like you have to tell me everything. We need our privacy and I don’t expect you to share every single thought with me but if there are any doubts, I’d like to know so we could talk about it. Because...Blaine, please look at me...please, sweetie...” Blaine got into his pleading and fixed his eyes on Kurt again. They were glassy and Kurt was positive that Blaine was keeping something inside once again. He was so beautiful. Laying there, vulnerable but determined to get through this because it was what Kurt asked from him. And Kurt wanted nothing more than to tell him how much he loved him but he swallowed those words, mindful that they might put another pressure on Blaine. If Blaine was ever going to say to Kurt he loved him, it must be on his terms. Not because he felt obliged to do that.  
“When you said tonight that you wanted it to be all about me and not all about you, I didn’t understand. Every second we spend together is all about me, Blaine. Every look, every touch, the way you hold me close when we watch movies or how you always make sure that I’m comfortable, it’s all about me. Everything you do is all about me and I’m just so happy to be with you. I can’t remember when I was this satisfied with my life as I am now and it’s all because of you. You are the sweetest and the nicest person I know. Even my dad can’t compare to you and you know how much I look up to him. Maybe it’s my fault that I’ve never told you this clearly enough but the way you make me feel, like I’m the most important person in the world when I’m with you, is all I need. And I’ll gladly dress up with you and drive two or even ten hours out of the city if that’s what you want. But please, don’t do things just because you think I want them. Do it for me AND for yourself. Do it for the both of us, okay?”   
“I did it for the both of us...It might not seem like that but I did. I had this talk with Nick and Jeff where Nick called me out on being a coward.”  
“You’re not a c…”  
“I am, Kurt. He was right. There are lots of people out there who have to deal with popularity and they do it. I hide but I don’t want to anymore. The city is just so crowded and every time I think of going out further than the distance between the door of a building I’m currently in and a taxi in front of it, I have anxiety. And I can feel like my breathing is getting heavy and...all of the bad memories come back and I dismiss the idea of being seen in the streets. But I have to start somewhere. When we were in Lima, I wasn’t so afraid. I felt oddly safe. Maybe I need to get used to smaller places before I take New York by storm.”  
“Whatever you need, I’m right here.”  
“Thank you.” Blaine said sincerely and Kurt couldn’t resist not to kiss him. It was chaste, just lips brushing and lingering for a while longer to spread comfort through Blaine’s body. The more time he spent with Kurt, the more times he kissed him, the soothing effect came sooner. The kiss came to an end and Blaine rested his head on Kurt’s chest, right above his heart instead of diving in for another one. Kurt wrapped his arms around him tightly.  
“You make me feel that way, too.” Blaine told him and Kurt’s sped up heartbeat didn’t go unnoticed if the big smile that appeared on Blaine’s face had something to say about it. “Like I’m the most important person in the whole world.”  
“I guess I communicate some things pretty clearly after all…”


	24. Chapter 24

“You know, a little smile isn’t going to kill you.” Blaine told Jeff as he slid in next to his boyfriend, putting his arm around him. It was Tuesday before Thanksgiving. They’d just finished with kids in H&C house and decided they all needed a cup of coffee.  
“Sorry.” Jeff murmured. “I just don’t wanna go home tomorrow.”  
“It’s just for a few days, buddy. You’ll survive.”   
“Yeah, it’s not like I have another option. God, I hate Thanksgiving!”  
“Well, with that attitude it’s most likely not going to be fun…” Kurt noted and wanted to say something more when he caught Nick’s eyes and his slight head shaking.  
“It’s really hard to have a different attitude when there’s nothing pleasant about it.”  
“Why are you going then?”  
“Because if I go home now, I can spend Christmas with the Andersons.” Jeff explained.  
“It’s complicated, Kurt. We just have to show up at home once a year to maintain the image of the perfect family. That’s the deal.”   
“You’re both adults, Nick. I don’t think you have to do anything you don’t want to. Especially if you despise the idea of going home so much.”  
“We are still three years away from our trust funds.” Jeff reminded him.  
“You’re pretty successful and earn enough to live comfortably. You don’t have to rely on your parent’s money.”  
“We don’t. But with that amount of money as a back up, we don’t have to ever worry about not being able to support ourselves or our future family if something goes wrong.” Nick said. Kurt stayed silent. He looked outside the window, keeping his further opinions to himself. He was from a different world than the three guys sitting at the table with him. And at times like this, it was painfully obvious that Kurt was never going to understand their way of living.  
“You can judge us out loud.” Nick broke the silence with a hint of smile in his voice, trying to ease the tension.  
“I don’t want to judge you. I don’t know anything about your situation and I have no right to…”  
“We were trophies.” Kurt turned his head to face them again. Jeff was serious, sadly staring at Kurt, pleading for understanding. “Our fathers are business partners, mothers members of the same clubs and charities and whatnot. They never really paid attention to us if it wasn’t necessary for their own image. We had nannies and babysitters and that was as far as our parents cared. And it might be stupid to still live their lie but we come from money. There has always been money. We don’t know how to live differently. If us going home once a year for a holiday is going to get us the safety net we need, then we’ll go home once a year. Simple as that.”  
“You’re not gonna get another set of parents. Maybe you should give them a chance. People change sometimes.” Kurt suggested.  
“They disappointed us so many times that I doubt something will change in the future.” Nick stated resolutely.   
“You’re acting like a child. And yes, now I judge you.”  
“You don’t know what it’s like to have parents who are cold and emotionally hollow.”  
“I know what it’s like to bury a parent.” Kurt’s whispered sentence sent a shiver through all of them. Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt’s waist, bringing him closer. Nick and Jeff just watched the scene, surprised and shocked. Kurt put his head on Blaine’s shoulder, letting Blaine kiss his hair softly.  
“I’m sorry, guys. That was uncalled for.” He apologized sincerely.   
“No. We’re sorry, Kurt. I know we must sound like completely ungrateful assholes…”  
“You’re not assholes. I have no idea what it’s like to grow up without unconditional love so I only see it from my own point of view. I would give my everything to have my mom back. Doesn’t mean I have the right to make you feel guilty.”  
“Trust me, Kurt, when I say, that we would give everything to have mothers like yours was.”  
“What if you came to Lima for the weekend? Stay with your parents for Thanksgiving and Friday and then come and visit me. My dad will drop us at the airport Sunday evening. What do you say?”  
“That's sound really great but we don't want to be a burden.”  
“Don't be silly, Jeff. It'll be fun. Come on, guys, it's the weekend with me or with your families. Do you really have to think about it so much if you don't even want to go to Westerville in the first place?” Nick and Jeff exchanged meaningful glances, silent conversation that only the two of them could understand before Nick nodded his head.  
“Okay. We'll come.”  
“Great!” Kurt clapped his hand with a broad smile. “There is not much to see in Lima but I'll make it worth the stay. I promise.”  
“I'm gonna miss you.” Blaine pouted and Kurt snuggled back into his side.  
“We won't be away for long, sweetie.”  
“Gosh, you are so sickeningly sweet.” Jeff snickered, rolling his eyes.  
“Speaking of sweet. I'm gonna grab a cake. Do you want some?” Blaine pecked Kurt's lips and jumped on his feet, not waiting for the answer and already thinking of the cakes he was going to order.  
“Since when are you all couple-y in a public place?” An amused whisper from Blaine's best friend brought Kurt's attention from his boyfriend's distancing figure back to the table.  
“What?”  
“What was that? You are literally glued together. And a kiss? Outside his comfort zone? Did we miss something?”  
“I don't know. It’s as surprising for me as it is for you. I have no idea what he is doing. I'm just going with the flow here. He wants to hold me, he gets to hold me.”  
“It's so not Blaine...” Kurt peered at the man by the counter. Blaine was leaning towards the barista, telling her something that made her laugh joyously.  
“I think it is Blaine. The real one. Not afraid to show himself to the world...” Kurt noted softly. “I don't need this. Holding hands and kissing outside. But it's something Blaine wants. He wants to have a relationship that’s as normal as possible and I’m all for it. Whatever makes him happy.”  
“Kurt, if someone sees you and…”  
“Nick, we’ve talked about it. I know you’re concerned but we are regular customers here since the first time I brought Blaine to H&C house. He never got recognized. This is a place where he feels safe. Safe enough to act like we are dating. I’m not taking that away from him. Besides, it’s almost empty.”  
“I don’t think you understand what you will have to face once people find out about you.”  
“Maybe I don’t. But I’m not letting anyone mess with my relationship, Nick. I will deal with consequences when we run into a problem but right now Blaine’s happiness is all I care about.”  
“Okay. Just be careful.”  
“I will.”  
“Guys, we are in for a sugar bomb!” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt again, making himself comfortable in their booth. “Sara couldn’t recommend just one so I ordered six of them.”  
“Sara?” Kurt asked with raised eyebrows.  
“The barista.”  
“Oh.”  
“There was a big chocolate cake with smarties, you know, like M&M’s but smaller. We have to try it, honey.”  
“Sure thing.” Kurt replied and Nick was ready to say something the moment Kurt leaned to kiss Blaine softly but Jeff’s kicking foot under the table stopped him. He glared at him, though Jeff didn’t mind at all. He just shook his head and mouthed Let it be. Seeing Blaine with a glow in his eyes and beaming face was something Nick wasn’t used to. It had been too long since Blaine resembled the cheerful Dalton boy he’d been once. The more time he spent with Kurt, the more his hidden self was trying to get on the surface and maybe taking a risk with Blaine’s safety was worth it, Nick decided. Even though Kurt most likely didn’t have any clue as to what might come and how hard it would be on them, he was right. Blaine’s happiness was all that mattered.   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx,  
Cooper watched his younger brother all Thursday. There was something different, yet very similar about him. He behaved as usual but he smiled a lot more. He also checked his phone like every five minutes until their mother called him out on it during dinner and he was forced to put it down for half an hour before he looked at the screen again. On Friday, Blaine had an interview and he had to attend some event, the purpose of which Cooper didn’t know, but he gladly accompanied his brother. Every red carpet counts, right?  
On Saturday, their parents went to visit some friends, leaving Cooper and Blaine in the penthouse. Blaine didn’t come out of his room until lunch time and when he finally appeared in the living room, Cooper was ready to scold him for not taking care of his guest.   
“I’ve been waiting for you since breakfast, squirt! What the hell took you so long? I’m bored! You are supposed to entertain me!”  
“You’re old enough to entertain yourself, Coop.”  
“How could you sleep so long? We came home around midnight!”  
“I wasn’t sleeping.”  
“Then what were you doing?”  
“I talked to Kurt.”  
“God, I should have known.” Cooper sighed. “You and your phone are inseparable.”  
“Nick and Jeff are in Lima with him. We skyped a bit.”  
“You and Kurt, it’s pretty solid, right?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“You don’t know?”  
“I mean, yes, it seems to be solid. But you never know what might come.”  
“You’ve never been in love before. We’ve never seen you so spellbound with someone.” Blaine blushed and looked down at the carpet, trying to hide his smile.  
“It’s only just over two months since we got together. We are happy but I think it’s too soon for big words.”  
“It’s always too soon until it’s too late, B.” Cooper said and patted his shoulder, standing up from the sofa. “I’m hungry. Lets make some sandwiches.”  
“Coop?” Blaine asked timidly. “How do you know you are in love?”  
Cooper stopped in his tracks and turned around. Blaine was looking at him like he knew all the answers. It reminded him of the time when Blaine was just a little kid demanding information about anything that had just caught his attention. It had been years since Blaine came to Cooper for advice. After his graduation from Dalton, he moved out to L.A. and they grew apart. There was a time when Cooper thought Blaine hated him. Everything was alright now but Blaine didn’t need his big brother anymore. Blaine asking such a thing was a huge deal for Cooper. It was his brother letting him in. It was Blaine exposing his vulnerability, trusting Cooper to help him with his dilemma. It was also the thing Cooper didn’t know a lot about.   
“I don’t think it’s something you know about, buddy.” Cooper came back and sat down next to him. “I think it’s something you feel.”  
“How does it feel? I liked Sebastian enough but I was sure it wasn’t love. I dated other guys but it ended before it could get serious. I don’t know how it feels to be in love.”  
“Do you remember Jessica?”  
“Your first girlfriend?”  
“Yeah. I loved her. It was all sweet and innocent, everything the first love should be. We didn’t even have sex in the time we were together but I loved her with everything my teenage heart was capable of. Being with her was like constantly flying and being without her sucked. I had butterflies in my tummy and my hands were shaking when I reached to hold her. It was a lot about how my body responded to her when I was with her or thought about her. All of that faded away as the weeks passed by and we kind of fell out of love, but I’m certain I loved her very much. Then I dated other girls but not once did it feel as good as when I was with Jessica. Feelings were different, not so intense. Until I met Olivia. And that’s when I screwed up because I waited for way too long. I let too soon become too late.”  
“How did it feel with Olivia?”  
“There weren’t butterflies or hands shaking. I was twenty-five and had enough experiences for not being physically affected so much with a single touch or thought. Mostly it was a warm feeling inside. Calmness and sense of right. I felt like I needed to be in her presence all the time without any particular reason. The day she walked out on me I realized I loved her.”  
“Did you tell her?”  
“No. By the time I gathered some courage, she was happily in a relationship with a guy who wasn’t afraid to express his feelings.”  
“I’m sorry, Coop.”  
“Don’t be. She wasn’t the one, I know that now. We could be good together but it would end eventually. What I’m trying to say is, that no one except for you can tell you how it feels to be in love. People don’t love the same. Everytime you fall in love, you are a bit different than when you fell in love previously. And the person you fall in love with is different as well.”  
“I’m afraid to say something that I’m not sure of. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”  
“Kurt’s or your feelings?”  
“Both.”  
“Look, there’ll come the moment when you will just want to say those words. It will feel right. Say them then. Don’t wait. Don’t calculate and over-think whether he is going to say it back or not. Do what you feel like doing and I can promise you that nothing will go wrong. Love is everything, Blaine. In whatever form or shape it’ll come to you, it’ll feel right. Have you read those what kids think love is? It’s the sweetest thing because they don’t think too much about it. They just state the obvious. Adults make love complicated when in fact it’s simple. You either love or don’t love.”  
“What kids think love is?”  
“Grandpa painting grandma’s toenails because she can’t bend over anymore. Or what makes you smile when you are tired. Or when you see the other not in their best and you still feel like they are the only one in the whole world. Kurt is very special to you. We all can see it. Whether you’re sure of your feelings or not, keep him close. He makes you happy and that’s the most important part of the whole love thing.”  
“I want to make him happy, too.”  
“I’m sure you are doing an excellent job. Kurt looked at you as if you were his center of the universe when we met. Seeing you two together now must be even more disgusting.”  
“You talked to Nick and Jeff, didn’t you?”  
“You bet I did. Needed to find out how my little brother was doing.”  
“You could ask me.”  
“You don’t like talking about yourself. I always check on you through those two morons. They love you as their own blood so I know you’re safe while they’re around.”  
“I can take care of myself.”  
“I know. But it’s better to have someone by your side than walking through life alone. The three of you have a connection people would kill for. It’s a good thing.”  
“But you still can ask me if you want to know something.”  
“Okay. I will.”  
“So, sandwiches?”   
“Yes!”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
It was suspiciously quiet in Hummel-Hudson household when Kurt left his room on Saturday evening. Nick and Jeff hit it off with Finn pretty well from the beginning. Their mutual love for old video games was not only a great way to bond, but also the reason for Kurt’s headache.  
“Where are those killing monsters?” Kurt asked Burt as he walked into the living room where his dad was peacefully watching news.  
“They already left. They’re waiting for you at the bar.”  
“We were supposed to go together!”  
“You were on the phone for over an hour, Kurt. They got bored after I banned GTA. They were getting too engulfed in it.”  
“You banned GTA?”  
“I’m a mechanic, son. I’m not going to sit here and watch those boys letting the cars explode just because it’s fun.”  
“It’s a video game, dad. They didn’t damage a real car.”  
“A car is a car.”  
“Well, I’m going to pretend I know what you are talking about even though I think you’re crazy.” Kurt smirked at him and patted his bald head.  
“How is Blaine?”  
“He is fine. Why do you keep asking me that?”  
“Because you call him like twenty times a day. I just want to make sure everything is alright with him.”  
“I do NOT call him twenty times a day, dad!”  
“You surely spent more time with your phone glued to your ear than with your family today.”  
“I’m sorry.” Kurt said silently and sat down next to his father. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.”  
“Don’t apologise. I was just teasing you. I’m happy that you’re happy. It’s a bit weird, though.”  
“Why?”  
“You’ve never been like this.”  
“Like what?”  
“Finn used to spend so much time talking to Rachel on the phone. Do you remember? He would lock himself in his room and he was there for hours.”  
“Yeah,” Kurt laughed. “He didn’t get to do much of the talking, though. He often dozed off while she was in the middle of her rant.”  
“But he had that. He had a chance to be a teenage boy in love, with all the craziness it brings. I thought you would never have that. There was no one here for you. No one good enough for you at least. I never doubted you would find someone in New York. But you can’t have high school love when you are in college. I was so glad when you met Adam. You weren’t all giddy and smiley and you didn’t talk about him much but we could see you were happy. It was like you jumped right into some mature kind of love.”  
“He was four years older than me, dad. We couldn’t be like teenage boys.”  
“You are twenty-three and you’re like a teenage boy now.”  
“I am NOT.”  
“Oh, come on, Kurt. You’re like a teenage boy with the biggest crush! You won’t shut up about Blaine. He somehow finds his way to every conversation we have. Your face is literally glowing every time someone so much as mentions him.”  
“I can’t help it.” Kurt murmured, his cheeks completely red.  
“It’s not a bad thing. It’s a great thing actually. I’m happy you can have this experience.”  
“It’s so different now. I loved Adam, dad. I really did. I fell in love with him pretty quickly and since then it was like a constant in my life. And we did have a great time together and up until the last year when things were getting a bit hard on us, we were solid. I don’t know what happened. I don’t understand how you can just stop loving someone. I mean, there’ll always be a place for him in my heart but I don’t love him anymore. And I can’t comprehend what’s going on right now with me and Blaine.”  
“What IS going on?”  
“I’m in love with him.”  
“Tell me something new, Kurt. I had a suspicion you were in love with him right after you two met and it was confirmed when you came to visit during the summer. The blind can see it.”  
“I am so in love with him….for a while now and it’s getting bigger and bigger. I’m waiting for it to stop. With Adam I just fell in love and that was it. With Blaine it’s like I’m falling in love every day a bit more.”  
“You said it like it was a bad thing.”  
“It’s not. But it does give him the power to destroy me.”  
“You have to trust him not to do that. The same way he has to trust you.”  
“Does it ever stop, dad? Will I reach the point of a constant feeling of love, the one that will be same every day or will it be like this forever?”  
“What would you prefer?”  
“I don’t know. I’m scared.”  
“Of what?”  
“That he might be the one…It’s not even three months since we got together and I already think of him as of someone I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. How crazy is that, dad?”  
“First of all, you’ve known him for what? Nine or ten months? It’s long enough to have strong feelings for someone. Don’t count just the time you’ve been in the relationship with him. Don’t forget that you were friends first. And secondly, I asked your mom to marry me six months after we met. When you realize you want to be with someone, you don’t wait. I’m not saying you should propose to Blaine right now. You’ll have enough time to do that in the future if you feel like it. But don’t be afraid, Kurt. When it comes to love, you have to give your all. And yeah, there is a lot at stake. You can have your world torn apart but what you can win is definitely worth it.” Kurt put his head on Burt’s shoulder, thinking about what his dad had said. There was another thing that made Kurt worry. What if Blaine would never reciprocate his feelings? What if all the stuff Blaine was doing, all the small things that made Kurt believe Blaine did have deep feelings for him, were just the game of his imagination? What if Blaine would never come to the conclusion that he loved Kurt?  
“Stop overthinking, buddy. Go have some beer with your friends. They’re waiting for you.”   
“Okay. Thanks, dad.”  
“Anytime, kiddo.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx   
Blaine was silently moving in Kurt’s kitchen, trying not to disturb Kurt and Rachel in their sleep. He drove Cooper to the airport early in the morning and went straight to his boyfriend’s apartment, not wanting to be apart from him one second more.  
“Blaine? What are you doing?” Blaine turned around abruptly, almost dropping a box of donuts.  
“Rachel, oh my god, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry.”  
“You didn’t. Relax.” She laughed and walked closer to him. “What are you doing, Romeo?”  
“Breakfast. I bought donuts and some fruit on my way here.”  
“You bought donuts and fruit?”  
“Yeah. There is a cute, little stand a few blocks from here. I was the first customer. The lady was very pleased that I stopped by.”  
“I can imagine. You’re very handsome today. Any special occasion?”  
“No.”  
“Kurt loves this shirt on you, doesn’t he?” A blushed creeped on Blaine’s face and Rachel giggled.  
“You’re so cute. Did you bring breakfast for me too or do I have to make my own?”  
“This is for you actually.” He motioned to a plate on the kitchen counter, two donuts and grapefruit with grapes on it. “I didn’t get the chance to pour you a glass of juice but it’s in the fridge and…”  
“Blaine, stop it. I really appreciate your effort but I can manage from now, okay? Just take Kurt’s breakfast into his room. He’ll be happy to have it in bed.” She smiled.  
“Okay.”  
Blaine took a tray with their breakfast and sneaked into Kurt’s room. He carefully put it on Kurt’s desk before laying in bed next to him. Kurt seemed to be deep in his sleep so Blaine just snuggled closer to him and kissed his bare shoulder tenderly, ready to wait hours for his boyfriend to wake up if it would be necessary. The shifting of the mattress made Kurt turn around and open his eyes lazily, smiling widely when he spotted Blaine lying there.  
“Good morning.” Blaine whispered and ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair. Kurt leaned forward, letting their lips connect. He rolled over, pinning Blaine into his bed, kissing him more deeply. He slowly slipped his hand under Blaine’s shirt.  
“K-Kurt…” Ignoring Blaine’s attempt at talking, he started nibbling on his jaw and grinding his hips against Blaine body.  
“Kurt, Rach - oh god - Rachel’s home.” Blaine managed to get out, his words eliciting a frustrated groan on Kurt’s side. He detached himself from Blaine immediately.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What?” Kurt raised himself on his elbow to look at Blaine. “It’s not your fault she’s at home.”  
“Yeah, but it is my fault that I don’t want to do things while she’s around…” Blaine murmured.  
“Hey, look at me.” Kurt caressed Blaine’s cheek and forced him to turn his head to face him. “I should have realized it’s still early and she’s at home. I shouldn’t have started anything. Everything is alright. Okay? I respect your reservations about us being intimate while someone else is in the house. I mean, you are right. I can’t keep quiet with you and I don’t want her to hear anything or I won’t hear the end of it.”   
“I missed you.”   
Kurt smiled and pecked his lips. “I missed you, too. This is a very nice surprise. I didn’t expect to see you until dinner with your parents tonight.”  
“I was taking Coop to the airport and I decided to stop by with breakfast.”  
“Breakfast?”  
“Donuts, fruits and juice. Nothing fancy.” Blaine pointed his finger at Kurt’s desk.  
“How did I not see this? I’m so mesmerized with your face that I don’t see what’s right in front of me!”  
“My mom taught me how to make pancakes this weekend. I didn’t want to risk it in your kitchen, though. You know, in case something would go wrong and I set fire to anything.” Kurt chuckled and hopped out of the bed, taking the tray from the desk and bringing it back to bed.  
“This is amazing, I don’t need pancakes. But feel free to use my kitchen anytime you want. We have an excellent smoke detector so don’t worry. You can’t do much harm with pancakes.” Blaine beamed at him, taking a slice of grapefruit and offering it to Kurt with a sweet kiss.


	25. Chapter 25

Kurt’s scrutinizing sight wasn’t something they liked to meet, but sometimes the situation was required and they couldn’t back off. They needed to survive without any damage - and without Kurt suspecting anything, which appeared to be a more difficult task than they’d initially expected.  
“I already told Rachel I’m not going. And I’ll repeat it every time you ask me. I’m not seeing your show on opening night. Blaine and I will see it another time.”  
“But, Kurt,” Nick whined. “I’m a lead. You, as one of my closest friends, need to come and support me!”  
“I, as Blaine’s BOYFRIEND, need to go to his album release party that day.”  
“We aren’t saying not to go to his party. You can go AFTER our show. With us. We’ll go together.” Jeff grinned.  
“Spill!” Kurt demanded. Nick and Jeff tried to play innocent but their game was so see-through after months Kurt had to deal with it that it didn’t help them at all. “Come on, guys. You’re not gonna fool me. Rachel apparently failed so now you take her place in bugging the hell out of me. What’s this about?”  
“We don’t want you to go to Blaine’s party.” Jeff murmured, earning a roll of eyes from Nick.  
“You’re such a weakling, Sterling.”  
“What?!” Kurt asked, shocked. “What is wrong with you? He worked hard on this album and you want me to act like some ‘reopening night’ of the show I’ve seen like a million times, while in its first run, is more important? Are you crazy?”  
“No, you’ve got it wrong!” Jeff’s attempt at defence wasn’t good enough by the glare Kurt sent him. “We want you to go with us. Skip the official part and come to an after party.”  
“And why would I do that?”  
“Blaine won’t have time for you. It starts with a concert, so you know, he’ll be on the stage. With a hundred lucky but crazy fans under the stage. There’ll be press and people from tabloids and they are going to shove their microphones right into his face. And then there is you. They already have some suspicion. You don’t know how to deal with the press.”  
“I’m a journalist, Nick. I AM the press.” Kurt said with a smirk.  
“No, you aren’t that type of journalist. Trust me, Kurt. We can’t be there by your side to protect you. We don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”  
“Blaine’s parents are going to be there. I won’t be alone.”  
“Blaine’s parents are great but when Victoria gets excited, she tells even what she doesn’t know. She may accidentally blurt your name or something. If you won’t be there, the chances are lower.”  
“It’s all for your safety.” Jeff added.  
“And what am I supposed to say to Blaine?”  
“You’ll tell him: Sorry, honey - “  
“Sweetie.” Nick chirped.  
“Yeah, sure. You don’t call him honey. So: Sorry, sweetie,” Jeff corrected his previous speech and continued. “My beloved friends need me to support them on their opening night and since there are more of them and you are just one, I have to go to the theater. You know, the majority wins. We’ll come and crash your after party but till then you are on you own.”  
“And Blaine will say: Whatever you want, honey.”  
“You can’t be serious right now.”  
“We are!” They said in unison and Kurt rather changed the topic. There was something fishy about it all and he was going to get to the core of it.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine came home exhausted. He was practicing with the band the whole day, cursing his manager for the idea of the concert as the celebration of his album being out. He probably shouldn’t have spent all of Monday with Kurt, excusing himself from the practice with a made up story about his vocal chords needing rest but it was so worth it. He had two more days till Friday. Two more days and the album would be out. Two more days, then the weekend, and from next Monday a week out of the city with PR stuff. He was tired just thinking about it.  
“Kurt? What are you doing here? I thought you had plans with Nick and Jeff tonight.” He smiled and walked to his boyfriend, kissing him soundly on the lips.  
“We had a few drinks...Your parents went for dinner with some friends. They’ll be home late.” Kurt said, returning back to watching the TV again. Blaine threw himself down on the sofa next to him and put his head on Kurt’s shoulder.  
“I’m so glad you’re here. I’m worn out. Gonna sleep like a baby.”  
“Hmmmm…”  
“What are you watching?”  
“Some stupid reality show.”  
“What is it about?”  
“Don’t know.”  
“Is it at least funny?”  
“Not really.”  
“Then why don’t you change the channel?” Kurt just shrugged his shoulder in respond.  
“Kurt, is something wrong?” Blaine asked warily.  
“I would say so.” Kurt answered and turned the TV off before fixing his eyes on his boyfriend.  
“What happened?”  
“Why don’t you want me to come to your official party on Friday?” Blaine stayed silent. He lowered his sight down at his hands and bit his lower lip. If Kurt had any doubt that his suspicion might be wrong, Blaine had just admitted it without having to say a single word.  
“God,” Kurt shook his head, frustrated. “My former boyfriend begged me to go everywhere with him while my current boyfriend doesn’t want me at the most important event of the year. There is something utterly wrong in this pattern. Why the hell didn’t you just tell me? Did you really think that Rachel or Nick and Jeff, with their ridiculous reasons why I should come to see their show instead of your concert, was going to work on me?”  
“I didn’t know how to tell you.” Blaine said quietly. “You were so thrilled about it and I didn’t know how to tell you that it would be better if you didn’t come with me.”  
“You know, you could say Kurt, I don’t want you there. It’d sure be better than forcing our friends to convince me not to go.”  
“It’s not that I don’t want you there…”  
“Do you want me to go?”  
“No.”  
“So you don’t want me there…”  
“I am AFRAID to have you there all alone. It has nothing to do with me not wanting you there. If I had my way, I’d want you with me 24/7. I just don’t think it’s safe to have you there just with my parents.”  
“Why not?”  
“Thousands of people pre-ordered my album so they could win a ticket to the concert. A hundred of them will be there. Alongside the press, it’s a dangerous combination. If they see you with my mom and dad, your pictures will be all over the internet before the concert starts. The more exposure you get, the bigger the chance that someone recognizes you. I can’t have your name out there, Kurt. For now you are passing as a friend because you are often seen with Nick and Jeff or Rachel, but if you don’t go to see them but you’ll come with me, the cover is blown. I won’t have time for you either way. It’ll be crazy. When the official part is over, you’ll all come and we’ll have fun. We can celebrate the album and the show reopening and I’ll sing to you as many songs as you want, just please, go with them. Go to the theater and stay with them.”  
“You should have told me.”  
“I know. I’m sorry, Kurt. I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t want you there, which is exactly what happened, but I swear it’s not that.”  
“So it’s not because you’re ashamed of me?” Kurt asked timidly.  
“No! Of course not! Where did this come from?”  
“I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in your world. Like someone from showbiz would be a better boyfriend for you. You’d deal with the same stuff, they could understand what you are going through better than me…”  
“You DO belong in my world. I WANT you in my world. I NEED you in my world.”  
“I just wanna be a good boyfriend.”  
“You are the perfect boyfriend, Kurt. I promise I won’t pull something like this again, okay? I’ll talk to you right away.”  
“Okay,” Kurt nodded. “Lets get you to bed. You look weary.”  
Kurt took Blaine’s hand and tugged him up, leading him to the stairs. Blaine obediently followed, though there was a frown on his face. When Kurt touched the doorknob on Blaine’s bedroom door, Blaine stopped him.  
“Are you mad at me?” Kurt turned around to caress Blaine’s cheek, smiling softly at him.  
“I’m not mad, Blaine. I’m glad we talked about it and I know where I stand now. Problem solved.”  
“I didn’t mean to…” Blaine’s speech was interrupted with a press of Kurt’s lips against his own.  
“Everything’s fine, sweetie.” Kurt whispered as he pulled out. “Shower?”  
“Will you join me?”  
“I’d love to.”  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
There was an open document on the screen of Kurt’s laptop. He was sitting behind his desk for hours, the sun wasn’t even up when he’d woken up but the article was at the same point it had been when he had started working on it early in the morning. He wrote and re-wrote the sentences all over again, not able to concentrate. He stood up, walked to his bed and lay down on the covers. His mind was preoccupied with Blaine. He tried to understand the motives behind Blaine’s behavior but the conclusion was, every time, the same. It was driving him crazy. Not seeing Blaine since Tuesday evening didn’t help at all.  
He wanted to see Blaine’s concert so badly tonight. Wanted to see his boyfriend in his element, happy and free, doing something he loved so much. He wanted to shout and scream, singing out the songs he knew by heart. Why wasn’t he allowed to do that? Why was Blaine so adamant about keeping him out of the public eye? They were dating for God’s sake! People would find out sooner or later either way. Unless...Kurt groaned. He didn’t want to go there again. There must be another reason. He refused to believe that Blaine was doing all of this because he didn’t think Kurt would be around for the long run. 

It was almost lunch time and Kurt finally gave up on finishing the article. He left his room, shutting the door loudly. Not purposely. He just underestimated his strenght. Or that would be the excuse in case Rachel would yell at him for that. His steps went straight into the living room. He sprawled on the sofa, taking the remote control. He went through all the channels in the space of a minute, not finding anything that would catch his attention so he repeated the action several times until Rachel stormed out of her bedroom.  
“Kurt! Stop it! It’s too loud! I can hear everything in my room. You know I need my rest before the opening night!”  
“Sorry.” Kurt murmured and turned the volume down, absently pushing buttons on the remote control and watching muted images flicking on the flat screen mindlessly.  
“Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“Did the controler personally offend you?”  
“What?!”  
“You’re gripping it so hard that it might break soon.” Kurt turned the TV off and threw the piece of plastic he was holding tightly onto the coffee table.  
“What’s bothering you?”  
“You’re going to think I’m dumb...”  
“Kurt, I have a show to perform this evening. You know my opening night ritual for years, yet you decided to disturb me today. So spill your guts or I’m going to kick you out of here for the next five hours!” Rachel threatened and Kurt rather made some space for her on the sofa so she could join him.  
“I think Blaine is going to break up with me.” Rachel’s eyes widened and she grabbed Kurt’s hand, squeezing it in a comforting manner.  
“What happened? Did you guys have a fight?”  
“No. Everything is okay.”  
“So where the break up thought come from?”  
“I don’t know. I can’t help it. He is doing all he can not to be seen with me…”  
“It’s a safety precaution, Kurt. He just doesn’t want to get you into trouble.”  
“Would you stop it? I’m not stupid. I know I might get some attention when people find out but it’ll pass as soon as they realize I’m not that interesting.”  
“We are talking about hate that might be thrown at you. You know what I have to deal with in the beginning. All the comments on twitter and blogs, youtube videos...People who didn’t know anything about me sent me hate just because they didn’t like something about me. Blaine tries to protect you from it. He has a very big fanbase and we have no idea how many nutcases are out there. They’ll find the reason to hate you or stalk you. You’re underestimating the situation, Kurt.”  
“My twitter account is private. They have no way of getting in touch with me!”  
“What about your articles?”  
“What about them?”  
“Open comments? Under every one you have in online newspapers and journals?”  
“Oh...I didn’t think about that.”  
“Look, maybe we’re crazy. Maybe nothing will happen and our worrying is unnecessary. But I do understand why Blaine doesn’t wanna take any risks. He’s not going to break up with you. Actually, he might be doing all of this so YOU don’t break up with him because things got out of control.”  
“I wouldn’t do that!”  
“And I’m pretty sure Blaine wouldn’t break up with you without any reason as well! Stop overthinking. You two are happy. Enjoy it and don’t look for any problems! Maybe you should talk to him about this.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I don’t want to evoke any insecurities in him if I’m wrong.”  
“You are wrong, Kurt.”  
“Go back to your room, Rachel. I’ll keep it quiet.” Kurt turned the TV on and motioned Rachel to get lost.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine hated that he couldn’t spend as much time as he’d like to with Kurt and his friends at his after party. There were so many people demanding his attention that he barely said a proper hello before he was dragged to the opposite direction to talk to someone else. He was sending lingering looks at Kurt across the room, getting a sweet smile back when his boyfriend caught him staring. It still wasn’t enough. He would much rather have a private party with people close to him than this big event full of people whose names he didn’t even know. Kurt seemed to have a great time though, so it eased Blaine’s mind a bit. He was laughing with Nick and Jeff, staying with them throughout the night.  
When he saw Kurt leaving the room, he excused himself from the group he was talking to and hurried in the hallway to chase his boyfriend. He found him standing outside on the sidewalk..  
“Kurt?”  
“Oh, hey.” Kurt turned around and smiled.  
“Everything alright?”  
“Yeah...I just needed fresh air. It’s really hot inside and it makes me sleepy.”  
“Are you tired?”  
“A little. It’s really late and I was up early this morning. I was working on an article the whole day.” Blaine took a card from inner pocket of his suit and handed it to Kurt.  
“I booked a room in the hotel across the street. I don’t want to spend half an hour in the car after I finish here to get to bed. You can go there. I’ll come when this is over.”  
“You want me to go?”  
“Well, you’re tired and I can’t keep you company as I promised. I’m really sorry for it, honey. You don’t have to stay, I won’t mind. I mean, you can stay, if you want to. It’s up to you. Please, don’t think that I don’t want you here because seeing you, even if it’s on the other side of the room, is the highlight of this party for me.”  
“I could use some sleep...”  
“It’s almost two in the morning and people aren’t leaving. We might be here till four, maybe five. I can’t go sooner. Don’t feel obliged to stay. You really don’t have to.”  
“Okay.” Kurt nodded. “I’m going to say goodbye.”  
They stepped inside, Blaine’s hand brushing slightly against Kurt’s, the only physical contact he dared to have with him amongst so many people. He stayed at Kurt’s side while Kurt explained to his friends that he was leaving and then he walked him to the hotel, kissing his cheek sweetly with a promise to join him as soon as possible.

As soon as possible was almost three hours later. He sneaked into the hotel room silently, going straight to the bathroom and trying not to bang into anything in the dark. He took a quick shower and returned to the room that was now alight by a small lamp on the bedside table. Kurt was up, lying on his side.  
“Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.” Blaine got under the covers and put his arms around Kurt’s waist.  
“It’s okay. How was the rest of the party?”  
“Too long.” Blaine sighed. “I’m happy it’s over and I can finally spend some time with you. You’re still mine for the weekend?”  
“All yours.”  
“Great. We’re taking my parents to the airport later today and then we have a dinner reservation. I hope you’re in the mood for a good tiramisu.”  
“I’m always in the mood for tiramisu. I used to love cheesecake but since we started dating, I’m very fond of tiramisu, especially if you’re the one making it.”  
“Not today, honey. We’ll have to leave it to the chef in the restaurant but I promise to make some when I come back from L.A.”  
“I saw some videos from your concert on youtube…”  
“They already uploaded it?”  
“I saw it while I was waiting for Nick and Jeff to get ready after the show. It’s been on the internet since shortly after the concert finished.”  
“My fans work fast.”  
“They do…Blaine?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Please, let me come to your next concert. I’ll stay backstage if necessary but please, let me see you.”  
“You do understand why I had to ask you not to come tonight, right?”  
“Well…” Kurt started hesitantly. “I wouldn’t say I understand. I respect your decisions but I can’t say I understand.”  
“It’s about keeping you safe, Kurt.”  
“Keeping me safe from what?”  
“Hate, potential stalking…”  
“I can deal with that. I’m a big boy, Blaine. I’m not saying let’s make an official statement that we are together but why can’t I be with my boyfriend on an important occasion?”  
“Kurt, I’ve been through this with Nick and Jeff and it was crazy. It might influence your job and I don’t want that. I said it before and I’m gonna say it again. You are not a public person and I’m not going to make you one. If I can do anything to avoid it, I’ll do it. Had you been there, your face would have been all over the internet by now. Cooper sent me a picture of mom and dad. He found it on some blog an hour after the concert was over. It had more than five thousands likes and reblogs...And I hate that. If they found out about you, I wouldn’t be able to protect you anymore.”  
“I don’t need your protection, Blaine. And I can’t imagine anything so horrible that I couldn’t handle.”  
“Have you ever realized that if they found out about your online articles, they may comment on them? It’s the easiest way of getting in touch with you. Private accounts on social networks won’t help you.”  
“There is an admin to control every discussion under the article. If there is something inappropriate, they delete it.”  
“We’re talking about a lot of people posting inappropriate comments. How long would they be willing to control the discussion? If they have to delete hundreds comments daily, they might just tell you not to write for them anymore.”  
“You really think something that radical could happen?”  
“Yes, I really think so. Maybe you have a point and I am overthinking and overreacting but I’m not going to take any risks when it comes to this.”  
“I just wanna be by your side.”  
“I’m going to have you by my side every time it’s possible. But this event was too public. There were fans mingled between guests and it was too risky. I’m sorry, Kurt, but I won’t change my mind about this.”  
“I like it when you are firm and decisive. Even though it means that I have to give up.”  
“Do you understand now?”  
“I do. I don’t agree with you but I understand.”  
“Thank you.”  
“Now kiss me goodnight and turn around so I can hold you.” Blaine leaned forward and they shared a few chaste kisses before they fell asleep in each others arms. Kurt was still convinced that Blaine wasn’t telling him everything but he let it go. They had a limited amount of time to spend together because come Monday morning, Blaine would be gone for the week. Kurt wasn’t going to ruin their weekend with the talk they could have later. Pushing the conversation for later was the best option. It had always been the best option. The option that cost him his previous relationship. Kurt swore to himself not to repeat his mistakes with Blaine. He would talk to his boyfriend. He wouldn’t ignore things that were troubling him. This time, he would do everything to keep the man he loved in his life, happy and content.


	26. Chapter 26

Spending Sunday evening in bed with tiramisu was amazing. Kurt was very happy that Blaine had ignored his objections about taking the sweet treat home with them from the restaurant the previous day. In general, Blaine was being more assertive and decisive lately and Kurt loved that about him. There were still insecurities, Kurt could see them pretty clearly, though Blaine didn’t talk about them, but there was also a new found confidence and while Kurt had no idea where it was coming from, he welcomed it.

“Is there really no way to convince you to come to LA at least for two days?” Blaine asked him, raising his voice a bit so Kurt could hear him from the bathroom. “Your interviews in the Lexington Home for Retired Performers are just during the week. You’re free all weekend. Don’t make me beg you, Kurt.”

“I’ll be working on the article all weekend. I need to finish it as soon as possible. Playbill.com wants to publish the interviews as a Christmas special. Besides, I want to get most of my work done so I can spend more time with you when you come back.”

“Okay. I can’t really argue with that.”

“The battery of my phone is almost dead. Do you have a charger somewhere?”

“It’s already packed in my suitcase. The side pocket.”

Kurt crawled to the other side of bed and reached out for Blaine’s luggage. He searched blindly in the pocket, freezing when he felt a bottle in his hand right after he brushed his fingers on a small box of something.

“Did you find it, honey?”

Kurt took out the contents of the pocket, looking at it in awe.

“Honey?” Blaine came out of the bathroom, halting in his tracks when he saw Kurt sitting on the bed, holding a bottle of lube and a box of condoms in his hand. “Oh…”

Kurt directed his gaze towards Blaine, dropping the items on the cover. “I guess there’s a reason why you packed this…”

“Kurt…”

“We are exclusive, right?” Kurt asked, looking for assurance. “We settled that on our second date. I didn’t imagine it, did I?”

“Of course we’re exclusive. Kurt, I can explain.”

“No,” Kurt shook his head fervently. “I don’t need an explanation. We’re exclusive, you just said so. I trust you not to go behind my back and cheat on me. I’m going to find the charger.” Although Kurt dismissed the issue, he was tense. Blaine stayed fixed to the spot by the bathroom door, observing how his boyfriend scoured another pocket - this time the right one - and pulled out the charger he was in need of.

“Sometimes when we talk on the phone,” Blaine started talking, barely audible, but it made Kurt stop fidgeting nervously. “Mainly after we’ve been apart for a while, I have to...h-have to take care of myself.”

Kurt turned around, wide eyed. He gaped at his boyfriend whose cheeks were bright red right now.

“It’s...” Blaine took a deep breath, clearly uncomfortable talking about it. “It’s less messy with a condom on. You know, I can’t really change hotel room sheets after.”

“Oh my god.”

“I hoped you would never find out.” Blaine chuckled uneasily, scratching his neck. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”

“How often do you think of me?” Kurt questioned him with a teasing smile.

“Constantly.” Blaine mumbled, keeping his eyes on Kurt who stood up from the bed slowly, taking the lube and condoms and walking to Blaine. He pressed their lips together, burrowing his hand in Blaine’s wild curls and tilting his head to gain better access inside his boyfriend’s mouth.

“Do you think of me kissing you breathless like this?” Blaine just whimpered and chased Kurt’s lips after he detached himself from Blaine because he wasn’t done kissing him. He needed to feel the warmth of Kurt’s tongue against his own, over and over again, refreshing his memories of what Kurt’s kisses taste like for further reference. Kurt let him enjoy it only for a while before pulling away once more. He hastily got rid of Blaine’s tank top, kissing and biting on his collarbone sloppily, his hand running up and down his chest. He freed his other hand, too, throwing the lube and condoms on the carpet so he could touch and grope Blaine properly.

“I wanna give you something new to think of.” Kurt’s husky voice whispered in Blaine’s ear and then there was Kurt’s teeth nibbling on his earlobe, proceeding to his jaw and neck. Blaine thought he might as well die. He had no idea what had gotten into Kurt. He’d never been so rough, not that Blaine was complaining. Kurt cupped him through his boxers, squeezing a little and humming approvingly when Blaine thrust his hips forward.

“Already hard for me? God, you’re so hot, Blaine.” Blaine tried to force Kurt away from the bathroom door and get him to bed but Kurt had something different in his mind. He closed the door behind them and pushed Blaine against it, kissing him sensually until he was sure Blaine wouldn’t do anything about their current location.

“Will you be a good boy and stay here for me?”

“Kurt…” Kurt took Blaine’s head in his hands, stroking his cheeks lovingly with his thumbs and kissing him repeatedly.

“Do you trust me, Blaine?”

“Yes.” Blaine breathed and gripped Kurt’s shoulders firmly. “Yes, I do. Of course, I do. Just don’t stop doing what you are doing.”

Kurt beamed at him and kneeled down, taking off Blaine’s boxers in the process.

“If I do something you don’t like, I need you to tell me, okay?”

“I love everything you do.”

“Great. The rule still stands though, okay?”

“Okay. Please, Kurt, please, do something.”

Kurt took him in his hand, stroking slowly and circling his tongue around the head.

“Oh, shit. Oh, Kurt…”

“How are you so beautiful?” Kurt wondered, reaching for a condom from the box. He put it on Blaine, disregarding Blaine’s demands of why and simply bringing him to his mouth again. Blaine groaned and threw his head back. It hit the door with a thump and Blaine groaned again, this time not from pleasure. Kurt immediately stood up and cradled the back of Blaine’s head in his hands.

“Are you okay?” He asked, kissing Blaine’s lips sweetly.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Kurt smiled at him and bent for the lube. “Can we go on?”

“God, yes!” Blaine surged forward to attack Kurt’s mouth, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist and bringing him closer.

“So eager…” Kurt chuckled when he managed to free himself from Blaine’s fervent kisses. He spread a good amount of lubricant over his fingers before ghosting them around Blaine’s entrance.

“Touch yourself, Blaine. Touch yourself as if I weren’t here.” A demanding whisper didn’t leave any room for objections and Blaine reached down between their bodies to do exactly what his boyfriend was asking of him.

“That’s it. Just like that, baby. Keep going.” Kurt instructed him and lifted his right leg up, trying to get better access to Blaine’s insides in this position. He slowly inserted one finger in, enjoying how Blaine’s breathing hitched. He played with him for a while. Teasingly diving in and out, not giving Blaine what he was begging for between low whimpers.

“Please, Kurt, please, more.” Kurt closed his eyes and fought back an urge to just rip off his own clothes and take Blaine right there. He added another finger instead. This was familiar territory for them. Kurt having his fingers in Blaine, making him fall apart. Blaine was usually comfortably lying on bed at times like this but by the moans escaping his boyfriend’s mouth, Kurt could tell he liked this position just fine. Blaine’s hand sped it’s movements when Kurt’s third finger joined the other two and Kurt smirked, knowing Blaine was close but still far away enough for him to torment him a bit more.

“How does it feel, Blaine?” He brushed against the bundle of nerves deep inside his boyfriend, earning a praise vomit. “I think of you, too. When we aren’t together and I have to touch myself to ease some tension, I always think about you. I imagine it’s your hand and your fingers.”

“Oh, God! W-what exactly - oh shit, right there, honey - what exactly is my hand doing?”

“You really don’t know or you just want me to say it?”

“Wanna hear you - oh my god, do it again! I’m so close. Kiss me!” Blaine turned his head, ready to crash their lips together but Kurt pulled away.

“No can do, sweetheart.” He shook his head. “I won’t be there to kiss you. It’ll be just you, your hand, your fingers, a condom and lube. Alone in a big hotel room while I’ll be home. Alone. With my hand and my fingers doing precisely what you’ll be doing, thinking of how much better it would be if it were you doing that to me.”

“Kurt,” Blaine whined, laying his forehead on Kurt’s shoulder, breathing him in. “I can’t. _I can’t_! Just, please...”

“Sure you can, baby. Let go. I know you’re right there.” Blaine shuddered and soon his hips were thrusting down on Kurt’s fingers frantically until he came with a shout of Kurt’s name on his lips. Kurt carefully let his fingers slip out before releasing his hold on Blaine’s leg. Blaine slid down on the carpet, his back against the bathroom door, still panting. He patted Kurt’s foot and showed him to put it on the other side of him. Kurt ended up standing astride, above his boyfriend, not really sure why. Blaine shifted his pajama pants halfway down his thighs.

“What are you doi-oh, fuck! Oh my god! You are so good at this.” Blaine hummed in response, sucking on his length and sinking down on him a bit more. His breathing was still shallow and Kurt did his best not to choke him. He wasn’t going to last. He was on the edge just from watching Blaine. It didn’t take long and he was leaning heavily on his arms against doorframe, moaning loudly and tripping over the top. Blaine swallowed every last drop and then tugged Kurt down to straddle his lap. Kurt folded his arms around Blaine’s shoulders, kissing his curls and giggling in afterglow. He could feel the condom between them, half down from Blaine’s now soft glory and he found it ridiculous that Blaine was naked while he had his shirt on and his pajama pants were somewhere around his knees. Blaine ran his hands up and down Kurt’s back, nuzzling his neck.

“You are everything I’ve ever dreamt of.” Blaine spoke softly. “I would never jeopardize what we have for a quick, meaningless fuck.”

Kurt stopped chuckling and withdrew from their hug slightly to look Blaine in the eyes.

“I know that.” He conveyed seriously. “You came out of the bathroom literally a second after I took it out and I didn’t have any time to process why it was even there. Had you come later, I wouldn’t have even acknowledged it because I would have time to come up with something logical myself. I told you on our way to Ohio that I trust you with my life and I told you in your tree house that you mean the world to me. Those things still stand. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt my faith in you.”

“I value our relationship more than anything. I just want you to know that.”

“You would never intentionally hurt me. That’s something I am sure of as much as I am sure of sun rising in the morning. You don’t need to say it. You make me see it in everything you do.”

“Okay.” Blaine nodded. “I’m glad we’re on the same page here.”

“Come here,” Kurt whispered and cupped Blaine’s face in his hands, connecting their lips in a soothing kiss. “You know, I can stay on the phone with you while you...ehm...take care of yourself...like, we can take care of ourselves alone but together…”

“Did you just hint that we could have phone sex?”

“Yeah...I mean, only if it’s okay with you.”

“We can try that. I’ve never done something like that but I like the idea. Don’t know the proper etiquette, though.”

“Oh my god!” Kurt cracked up. “What have I told you about the etiquette, sweetie? There is no such thing! You preppy boys are so weird sometimes. Do you need to have a protocol for everything?”

“Mock me all you want, Kurt. I was taught manners. That applies to my sex life as well.”

“You’re making fun of me right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. I love to see you smile.”

“I love to see you smile as well.”

“We should probably get to bed.” Blaine suggested and Kurt climbed from his lap, giving him a hand to help him stand up. They made themselves presentable for sleeping and before they hid under the covers, Kurt put the bottle of lube and the box of condoms back in Blaine’s suitcase. They fell asleep right away but Blaine didn’t get a chance to enjoy the full night’s rest because he was awakened in the middle of the night by soft fingers playing with his hair. Even in the dark, he could tell Kurt was propped up on his elbow, watching him.

“Why aren’t you sleeping, honey?”

“I can’t.”

“What’s wrong?” Blaine reached for the lamp on his bedside table, turning the light on. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m great, actually. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Then what’s going on?”

“I wanted to ask you something, but I kept putting it off, and now you’re leaving early in the morning.”

“You wanna ask me something?”

“There is a student conference in Boston next year. First week in April. One of my college professors called me and asked me to be a speaker for freelance journalism. I’m supposed to have some discussions with attendees and be part of one or two workshops. It’s for the week but I’m needed only for like two hours a day.”

“Kurt, that’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me? You barely got out of school and they already want you to influence the next generation of journalists! I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, technically I haven’t confirmed anything yet but they need my answer tomorrow.”

“What? Why not?”

“Your birthday is that week.”

“Forget my birthday. This is an opportunity for you to shine, to gain new contacts, make a name for yourself.”

“I was thinking that maybe you could come with me?” Kurt proposed hesitantly. “If you let your team know in advance, there shouldn’t be a problem with it, right? You don’t have anything planned for April yet, do you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, then I’d love you to come with me. I’ll take care of everything. Accommodations, safety, anonymity. We won’t be staying in the hotel where the conference is held. I’m not going to risk some tabloid wannabe recognizing you. The first rule, don’t trust journalist students. Eighty percent of them are hungry for sensations. And we will have Nick and Jeff tweet some photos of the three of you and make comments about how much fun you are having together throughout the week so people will think you are in New York. I’m going to buy you more clothes that will be anything but Blaine Anderson…”

“You’re really thinking this through...”

“Yeah. We can celebrate your birthday and we can go on trips. Boston is amazing. I’ll be working only two hours a day and I’m pretty sure I can convince my professor to schedule it in the morning so we could enjoy the rest of the day. I know it’s not ideal but it’s an opportunity to get out of the city…”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I’ll tell Annie I need to be free the first week of April. She won’t be happy but I don’t care.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank YOU for asking me to come with you.”

“We can go back to sleep now.” Blaine laughed at Kurt’s sheepish face and kissed him tenderly. He turned the light off afterwards, snuggling closer to his boyfriend and falling asleep again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“So, how come you and your boyfriend aren’t attached to each other after a week you spent apart?”

“He was shopping with Rachel the whole day and he’s tired. He says hello but he won’t be joining us tonight.” Blaine explained to Jeff, handing him a glass of wine. “So how did you two enjoy your free day?”

“We did some shopping. Mostly Christmas presents…” Nick told him and outstretched his legs in front of him, putting them on the coffee table. “You know, I love Kurt but I can appreciate not being yelled at for having my feet on the table.”

“You’re an idiot.” Jeff grinned at him but his feet were next to Nick’s in an instant.

“You’re both idiots.” Blaine corrected Jeff’s previous statement with a big smile. “I missed you guys. What did you buy today?”

“HA! As we are going to tell you! We bought a perfect gift for your parents and we won’t let you steal OUR ideas this year.”

“Oh, come on, guys. Don’t be so mean.”

“No. You are on your own this time.” Jeff said resolutely and Blaine gave up. “I can’t wait for Christmas at Cooper’s. It’s going to be a blast!”

“I can imagine. The three of you will run into the first club you’ll see to find someone to hook up with while I’ll stay home with my parents.”

“Well, you _are_ in a committed relationship so you can have a phone sex with Kurt.”

“Yeah, committed relationship…” Blaine replied thoughtfully, giving Nick and Jeff reason to worry.

“Blaine? Everything’s alright?” Nick questioned him, hoping for an affirmative response.

“Kurt wants me to go to Boston with him in the beginning of April. For a week.”

“Why Boston?”

“There’s this student conference. He’s one of the speakers...He wants me to join him. He had this plan how to keep me safe so no one would recognize me...It’s sweet...”

“What’s the problem?” Nick raised his eyebrows, knowing his best friend too well.

“There is no problem.”

“You really want to play this game with us?”

“I’m not playing anything, Jeff.”

“What’s the problem, Blaine?” Blaine stayed silent. Nick and Jeff were staring at him, waiting for him to give in.

“It’s in April.” Blaine uttered when he couldn’t stand their intense gaze anymore.

“Okay. Kind of still can’t see the problem.”

“It’s four months from now.”

“And?”

“He assumes we’ll be still together…”

“You can’t be serious right now, Blaine! Of course, he assumes you two will be together! Everything is going fine so why would he think you are going to break up anytime soon?”

“I don’t know...It’s just that…”

“Shut up, Blaine! We’ve been through this countless times! You have to stop worrying and accept that Kurt loves you! You can’t keep going like this, waiting for something to happen!”

“I know, I know…”

“You know? So do something about it!”

“Why are you so upset? It’s my relationship.”

“Because he is an angel you’ve been waiting for forever and you are sabotaging it!”

“I’m not sabotaging anything!”

“Calm down, guys!” Jeff stepped between them. “Blaine, Nick is right in this one. You have to start thinking differently. This is getting a bit ridiculous. Do you love Kurt?”

“I do.” Blaine admitted, leaving his friend speechless. It was the first time Blaine acknowledged his feelings for Kurt and, honestly, Jeff didn’t see the answer coming.

“Wow. Maybe we’re getting somewhere…” Nick noted. “Did you tell him?”

“Not yet.”

“The time will come.”

“I know.”

“Just don’t over-think everything.”

“It’s not like I can help it, Jeff.”

“It’s in your head. Of course you can help. Try a little harder.”

“I will. Can we change the topic?”

“Okay.” Jeff nodded. “I’m in the Christmas mood. Home Alone 1?”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kurt loved coming home for Christmas. It was his favorite holiday and he couldn’t wait for all the traditions they had to come to life this year. When it was only Kurt and his dad, Christmas was a bittersweet event that reminded them of Kurt’s mom too much for them to be genuinely happy. After Burt and Carol got married, Christmas became more fun than it was before. They mingled their family traditions and made new ones, moving forward from the past that had been throwing a shadow on this holiday for years.

Kurt never missed Christmas with his family. Not once. Since he came to New York, he packed his suitcase on December 23rd and went to Lima. This year wasn’t an exception. However, for the first time he felt sad to go home.He would never say it out loud but he was wondering how Christmas would be with Blaine and his family. He was going to miss his boyfriend. Come tomorrow evening they would be apart for another week and Kurt really wasn’t thrilled about that. Maybe it wasn’t healthy. Maybe he was too attached to someone he was dating for just three months. Maybe...Maybe not.

They spent their last evening together, before departing for Christmas, at the penthouse. Kurt cooked dinner and Blaine offered to assist him with it but ended up being more of a distraction than actual help. Kurt wouldn’t have it any other way even though their dinner almost burnt on the stove.

“How much privacy do you have at Cooper’s house?” Kurt asked Blaine as they were relaxing on the sofa after dinner, Kurt’s head currently in Blaine’s lap while Blaine ran his fingers through his hair.

“I have my own room. Share the bathroom with Nick and Jeff’s room...Why?”

“Just thinking about how many proper goodnights we could have…”

“Honey, we could have very proper goodnights.”

“Hmmm…” Kurt hummed and grasped at Blaine’s polo shirt to bring him down for a slow kiss.

“I’ll put on Katy Perry so no one would suspect anything in case I get loud.” Blaine said into the kiss and Kurt snickered, pushing Blaine away from him.

“What? Katy Perry? You couldn’t come up with something better?”

“What can be better than Katy Perry?”

“Anything!”

“Hey! She’s amazing! What do you have against her?”

“Except that she can’t really sing? Have you heard some of her live performances? They are horrible!”

“They are not!” Kurt’s eyes twinkled at Blaine’s offended expression. He was just teasing him, knowing how Blaine always took Katy Perry seriously. “As if Lady Gaga was better!”

Kurt got up from his position and looked at Blaine as he just insulted his deity. Which he kind of did.

“Take that back, Anderson.” Kurt ordered him. Blaine shook his head and folded his arms on his chest.

“Never.”

“I said take it back.”

“Or what?” Blaine challenged him and before he had a chance to figure out what was going on, Kurt was straddling his lap, his fingers tickling his ribs.

“Stop it, Kurt.” Blaine laughed and wriggled in an attempt to get from Kurt’s hands but Kurt managed to pin his arms behind his back and tickled him freely some more.

“Kurt, oh my god, stop it! K-Kurt!”

“Take it back!” Kurt was laughing with Blaine by this point and Blaine’s effort of unwinding himself from Kurt almost sent them down on the floor. Blaine caught Kurt in the last moment and pressed him against his chest, finding a balance and sinking back to the sofa..

“Okay. I take it back. They are both amazing. Can we agree on that?” Blaine offered the truce when they calmed down a bit and Kurt nodded. His hair was disheveled, as it was him and not Blaine who got tickled and there were tears in the corner of his eyes from laughing. He was smiling brightly, showing his teeth which was a rare occurrence for him. Blaine was watching him closely, a small, amused smile plastered on his face. God, Kurt was so beautiful.

“What?” Kurt asked him and bit his lower lip. He felt a bit on a display under Blaine’s gaze. A strand of his hair fell down on his forehead and Blaine took it away from his face, letting the back of his hand caress Kurt’s cheek.

“I love you, Kurt.” He declared clearly. There was no doubt about what words had just come out his mouth and Kurt’s heart stopped beating for a second. Blaine loved him. Him. Kurt burst into laughter again and Blaine couldn’t bring himself to be upset. He’d just confessed his love to another man and said man was tittering right on top of him but Blaine felt nothing but happiness. He did it. He said it because he felt like it and deep in his heart he knew Kurt wasn’t laughing at him. He refused to let his insecurities win and succeeded. There was nothing more but him and his love for Kurt, secure and standing on a solid foundation.

Kurt leaned forward, connecting their lips in a messy kiss since he was still giggling like a madman and Blaine chuckled with him. It seemed like the proper thing to do.

“I love you too, Blaine. I love you so much.” And Blaine understood why Kurt had been laughing. His whole being was consumed by this enormous amount of happiness after hearing those words that he had to laugh as well. He was in love and the man he was in love with was in love with him too. There was nothing better in this world than the feeling of warmth, serenity and belonging he was surrounded by right now.

 


	27. Chapter 27

“I love you.” Blaine breathed and kissed Kurt’s temple, then his cheek and jaw, progressing down to his neck. They were laying on the sofa, Blaine on top of Kurt, covering him with his body.  
“I love you, too.” Kurt murmured as he tilted his head to allow Blaine better access to his soft spot. He tangled his fingers in Blaine’s hair to press Blaine’s lips harder to his neck. Blaine nibbled and sucked, but not too much so he wouldn't bruise Kurt’s skin. He licked the red fleck that was about to disappear soon and attached his lips lower, repeating his action on another inch of Kurt’s flawless complexion.   
Blaine felt like he was about to burst into flames. His heart was racing and he’d never thought three simple words could evoke such a strong reaction. He lost count of how many times the words had been uttered in the last half an hour. Everything was sweet and tender, nothing he would have expected before. There was no need for ripping each other’s clothes off and consummating their love right there, which was exactly what he’d thought would happen once the words were out. Instead, he was positioned between Kurt’s legs, dressed, and they were kissing and caressing carefully, like they were afraid to break something very fragile. Kurt’s hands were travelling slowly up and down his back, never getting below his waist or under his shirt. It was intimate in a way Blaine had never experienced before.   
“Leave a mark, Blaine.” Kurt requested and Blaine pulled away a bit to look at his boyfriend with a teasing smile.  
“We’re not teeanagers anymore, Kurt. I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to come home for Christmas with a hickey on your neck.”  
“Then put it somewhere no one can see it.”  
“You really want me to?”  
“Yes, love, I really want you to.” Love. It was a new one. Blaine was accustomed to being called sweetie on regular basis and baby occasionally, in the heat of the moment when their clothes were mostly, or completely stripped off. This was different. It sent a strange shiver down his spine and he knew he was screwed. Without a doubt, this would be his weakness and though he was already at the place where he barely could say no to Kurt, this was something that would get Kurt a free pass to everything. He unbuttoned first three buttons on Kurt’s shirt and ran his thumb over his collarbone.  
“Here?”  
“Hmmm...wherever you want.”  
“Blaine? Downstairs or upstairs?” Nick yelled into the apartment. Blaine groaned and untangled himself from Kurt.  
“I swear I’m gonna forbid them from entering this house.” He promised to Kurt and sent his friends a glare. “I don’t want to sound hostile but what the fuck are you doing here?!”  
“My dad called.” Nick announced.  
“Oh shit...” Blaine frowned.   
“Yeah…”  
“What did he want?”  
“Apparently my grandma is visiting for Christmas.”  
“No!” Blaine whined and Kurt just set his eyes from his boyfriend to Nick and Jeff standing by the sofa. They looked defeated.  
“He did it on purpose. There is no way my grandma decided to come on such a short notice.”  
“Of course he did it on purpose!” Jeff agreed with him. “He knew you would have excused yourself had you known earlier. He couldn’t risk it.”  
“Are you guys still wearing makeup? Why didn't you remove it?” Kurt asked, observing them closely.  
“We didn't have time for that. We left the theater five minutes after the curtain fell.”  
“I’m sorry but I’m lost. I don’t understand what the problem is.”  
“The problem is,” Blaine turned to his boyfriend, finally giving him the explanation, “that Nick has to go to home for the holidays.”  
“Because his grandma is visiting?”  
“My grandma is the only good thing in our family, Kurt. She doesn’t leave her house often but when she does, she expects the whole family to be together. She can be a bitch when something is not how she pictures it. My father knew I wasn’t going home and that if he’d told me sooner, I would have called my grandma and excused myself and he would have to deal with the wrath of my granny. Now I can’t do that.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because my father is an asshole but she doesn’t deserve it. She always tells me I should visit her more often and I’m sure she can’t wait to see me. I don’t care about my dad, but I can’t bail on her. Not two days before Christmas.”  
“The worst thing is, there are no flight tickets available. We’ll have to take Nick’s car.”  
“Wait, we?”  
“Jeff won’t let Nick go alone. Shit! We could have planned Christmas in Westerville if we knew sooner!” Blaine said angrily.  
“No, we couldn’t. Cooper has meetings for his new movie right after Christmas in LA. It would be ridiculous for him to be in Westerville.”  
“Any chance you could come to LA a bit later?”  
“Grandma is staying for the whole week.”  
“This is so unfair! They had you for Thanksgiving! And they had you last Christmas! It was our turn!”   
“Jesus, guys, calm down!” Kurt stepped into their moping. “I’m used to overdramatics, thanks to Rache,l but this is too much. It’s not the end of the world.”  
“Says someone with awesome family.” Nick murmured but shut up when Kurt looked at him warningly.   
“You have two options, Nicholas. Either you call your grandma and disappoint her or you’ll go to Ohio and wait another year for Christmas with the Andersons.”  
“He has to go to Ohio.” Blaine said and Jeff nodded.  
“Then he’ll go to Ohio. I can cancel my flight reservation and we can take my car. I don’t think your two-seats-and-no-trunk car is suitable for such a long ride.”  
“It’s a sport car, Kurt. I didn’t buy it to travel to Ohio in it!”  
“That’s the reason I’m offering my car and my fabulous persona as a bonus. What do you say? Go home, pack you bags and come here in the morning. Six o’clock? My car is parked in Blaine’s garage.”  
“Seven?” Jeff suggested carefully.  
“Okay. Seven. But be punctual. it’s a long journey.”  
“You wouldn’t mind exchanging the flight for a ten hour car ride?”  
“No. I don’t like flying alone and Rachel stays in New York this year. It’ll be fun with you two.”  
“But you and Blaine have plans for tomorrow…”  
“It’s okay, Nick.” Blaine assured him. “Go home and come here in the morning.”  
“I’m so sorry, Blaine.”  
“It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it. My parents will understand.” Blaine hugged his friends goodbye and sent them off, already counting how little time he had left with his boyfriend. Kurt waited for him with open arms in the living room and he let himself be wrapped in the strong embrace of his boyfriend.  
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know how much you were looking forward for spending Christmas with them.”  
“People should have Christmas with their family. WE are their family. Do you know how their holidays are when they are in Westerville? They do their best not to be home. They leave in the morning and come back in the evening. They do the obligatory dinner and that’s it. They can tell you all about coffee shops and malls and movie theaters within a 50 mile radius. It’s just not fair.”  
“They can come to Lima. I’ll make sure they know they are welcome, okay? They can stay overnight or just come for a few hours. But our doors are open for them. I promise I won’t let them cruise malls and shops during holidays.”  
“Thank you. I wish I could be in Ohio with you.”  
“God,” Kurt sighed. “Don’t even start on this. I’m gonna miss you so much, Blaine.”  
“Well, at least I don’t have to worry about privacy during our goodnight calls...” Kurt chuckled and put a firm kiss on Blaine’s lips.  
“Want something new to remind you of me?”  
“Hell yes!” Blaine grabbed his hand and they ran upstairs, taking advantage of Blaine’s bed one last time before a week long split that was ahead of them.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Blaine closed his eyes and arched his back, prompting Kurt to continue faster. This was nothing new as Kurt steadily move his fingers in and out of Blaine. Besides a few letters that, together, formed the most beautiful three word phrase breathed between them, everything was too familiar. And suddenly not enough. Blaine was so close to losing it. Kurt knew exactly what to do to bring Blaine right to the edge and even though Blaine loved the fact that Kurt had learnt his body to the A+ point, it was a bit of disadvantage right now. Blaine wanted more. Needed more. Just the mere thought of Kurt burying himself inside of him, taking him, claiming him was driving Blaine crazy.  
“Kurt, love you…”  
“I love you, too.”  
“Yes! Shit, honey, I’m not gonna last if you keep doing this.”  
“Can’t really see a problem in that, baby.”  
“Drawer…” Blaine said between moans, trying to communicate his intentions with Kurt.  
“What?”   
“Condom...first drawer. Need you...” Kurt froze at his spurted words and slowly retreated his fingers from Blaine. Blaine outstretched his arm and fumbled in the drawer but Kurt’s hand stopped him before he managed to get the item he was looking for.  
“What are you doing?”  
“Want you inside me. NOW!” Blaine answered urgently but Kurt didn’t let him search for a condom. He took his arm and put it gently on the bed.  
“No.” Kurt shook his head, his face serious. Blaine swallowed a lump that was forming in his throat, finally understanding that Kurt wasn’t going to have sex with him and with the last strength he was able to find in himself before breaking down, he covered himself with the duvet.  
“You don’t want to.” The whispered statement almost broke Kurt’s heart.  
“No, I don’t.” Kurt replied and this time he could feel the pain in his chest when Blaine turned away from him.  
“Blaine, please, let’s talk about it.”  
“I don’t think I can handle such conversation right now. You should go to sleep. You have to get up early in the morning.” Blaine shifted to the other side of bed to leave some space for Kurt, wondering how long it would take for Kurt to fall asleep so he could go and cry freely in the next room. He’d never felt so hurt.   
Kurt lay down and scooted closer to him, putting his arm around Blaine’s waist and spooning him from behind. He kissed Blaine’s shoulder but for the first time it didn’t have a soothing effect on him. For the first time, Blaine would rather be alone than in his boyfriend’s arms.

“You don’t have to say anything, just listen to me, please.” Kurt said quietly and when Blaine didn’t protest, he carried on. “I love you, Blaine. Very, very much. We’ve come a long way to get here and I don’t want to rush anything. You wanted to go slow at first and I think this is something we should at least talk about before we do it. It’s not that I don’t want you. Believe me, I do. I so do, my love. But not like this. From what you told me, it was always haste and lust for you. It didn’t really mean anything to you, if we don’t count your high school boyfriend, and I don’t want that for us...not the first time we are going to make love. You deserve to be shown how it could feel when someone who loves and cares about you makes love to you. You deserve dinner and flowers and candles and nice music. You deserve a lazy morning after and if I could have my way the whole day off so we could explore it a bit further...You deserve everything, Blaine. And I’m gonna give you that. Just not tonight. Not when we are caught in the moment and I have to leave in few hours. It means the world to me that you’re willing to share yourself fully with me. Just, please, let me do it on my terms.” They lay there for a moment and when Kurt thought he wasn’t going to get any reaction from Blaine, his boyfriend turned around and tangled himself around Kurt.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Shhh...you have nothing to be sorry about.” Kurt whispered and brought him even closer. “Just don’t shut me out before I have a chance to explain myself, okay?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Stop it. Tell me you love me, give me a kiss and lets go to sleep, sweetie.”  
Blaine pulled away and found Kurt’s lips, kissing him deeply.  
“I love you. I’m sorry I ruined our night.”  
“You did not. I can set the alarm clock for five. We can have some fun before I have to leave, what do you say?”  
“I love you.”  
“I take that as a yes. Love you too.” Kurt kissed him one more time before turning the lamp off and diving into sleep.  
The sweet dreams didn’t come for Blaine that night. He was mostly awake, listening to Kurt’s heartbeat and thinking of how much he managed to screw up. Again. He reminisced Nick’s and Jeff’s words of wisdom, mainly - You have to get your shit together, Blaine! - and he had to admit that his friends were right. Blaine was fumbling between what he truly wanted and what he thought was best for him and he hated that it appeared not to be the same thing.   
Even though Kurt had told him their relationship wasn’t all about Blaine, Blaine felt like it. Like there were restrictions and limits they could only move within. Restrictions and limits that Blaine defined, which was much worse than if they were set from outside. Blaine had it all in his hands. He could do something about it. He just didn’t know if he was strong enough to let his safety net go and face the world as it was.   
Kurt was worth it. Kurt was worth the biggest heartbreak and Blaine wasn’t afraid of it. What he was afraid of was turning Kurt’s world upside down for nothing. Maybe he shouldn’t be thinking of what would happen “if”. Maybe it wouldn’t even be as bad as he imagined it. Maybe taking what he was doing for a living into consideration and giving it so much significance wasn’t the best thing for their relationship at all. Because all of this was the reason why Blaine was waiting for Kurt to dump him every moment. It was the reason for him being insecure, realizing that he couldn’t give Kurt everything without exposing him to the world and therefore he wouldn’t blame Kurt if he decided to go and look for someone else instead.   
But Kurt loved him. Kurt wouldn’t leave him any time soon and it eased his mind a bit. He got to keep Kurt a while longer. How much time did he buy with Kurt falling in love with him? A few months? A year? Was it wise to let himself dream of forever when he really didn’t believe it was an option? What bothered him the most was that he didn’t want to be a prisoner of his own anxieties, but it seemed like they had him chained in the deepest dungeon and he was at a loss as to how to find his way out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi =) I'm sorry for disappearing for so long. I promise, this story is not abandoned. I've been working on something else and then life came along and I just didn't have enough time to catch up with all my activities. Anyway, thanks to sweet Adri who sent me a very kind message about missing this story, I found out I forgot to post the last written chapter here. I post on ff.net and S&C as well and the chapter was up somewhere in August there but it was missing here. I'm sorry for posting it so late. As for the next chapter. I'm working on it. Bear with me please. I'll do my best to post it soon.  
> Thank you for reading and leaving comments and kudos. I really appreciate your support. =)


	28. Chapter 28

The sun was setting behind the horizon. The view of the ocean was beautiful. Blaine snapped a few pictures of it to send them to Kurt later. For now, he just sat on Cooper's porch, blanket around his shoulders to keep him warm. It was the day after Christmas. Cooper had an important meeting and he didn't come home yet. Their parents were visiting friends they had in the city and Blaine was left alone at Cooper's house. He enjoyed the silence. It was a nice change after the time he spent with his family. Obnoxiously loud family - read brother.

He heard the noise from in front of the house. His peaceful day was over. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air, taking it all in for the last time before he'd be pulled back into reality.

"Blaine?" The footsteps and his father's voice coming closer. "Aren't you cold out here?"

"No." Blaine shook his head and looked at his dad. "I'm fine. How are John and Lilly?"

"They're great. Expecting the first grandson soon."

"Oh, Lilly must be very happy."

"She is. She also asked when you or Cooper are going to make us grandparents."

"Cooper. I'm too young for that."

"You're the one in the relationship, though." Frederick teased him with a smile. "I wouldn't be surprised if you outran your brother in this."

"Dad, don't count on us. You'll have to wait for grand-babies a little longer. Neither of us is ready yet."

"I know. You have time and Cooper isn't mature enough for that responsibility."

"He'll get there, dad. Don't worry."

"How is Kurt? Have you talked to him today?" Blaine looked at his father's innocent expression and sighed. Sometimes,when his father tried to be subtle he was anything but.

"I did and I haven't asked yet."

"What's stopping you?"

"I don't know..."

"You do. You just don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay," Blaine resigned. He was playing this game with his family since Cooper announced that he was holding a charity event on New Years Eve and he would appreciate their attendance because a few of his prominent guests bailed on him. "I'm going alone. Without a plus one."

"You think Kurt wouldn't want to come?"

"No. He would come."

"What's the problem then?"

"It's too public." Blaine stated, avoiding his father's eyes. Frederic stepped closer to him and lifted the edge of Blaine's blanket, nudging his son to move so he could sit down next to him.

"Blaine, is there a reason you keep Kurt hidden from the world?"

"This is not his world. He didn't ask to be a part of it and I'm not making him."

"The moment he agreed to be in a relationship with you, he became the part of your world."

"You don't understand, dad."

"No. I really don't," Frederick admitted honestly.

"I don't want his privacy to be violated. The more he is seen with me, the bigger chance someone will figure out who he is. Things got pretty bad a few years back with Nick and Jeff. I won't put Kurt through something like that."

"It makes sense..."

"But?"

"Why do you think there is a but?"

"There is always a but if you say something in that tone."

"Would you like to have him with you?" Frederick asked and Blaine was weighing the pros and cons of being honest with him. Telling the truth would probably lead into a conversation Blaine wasn't sure he wanted to have with his father. However, not being honest was something Blaine hated.

"I would. I'd love to have him with me 24/7. But we can't always have what we want, can we?"

"You tell me. It's your life."

"Dad," Blaine whined and pouted, forcing a laugh out of his father.

"You are playing dirty, young man. You know I can't be firm if you use that face."

"It's still working, huh?"

"It's always gonna work, Blaine. You may have my eyes but you have your mother's facial features. I'm weak to your pouting."

"I don't need a life lesson, dad." Blaine said, this time seriously, without using his secret weapons.

"I know you don't. But can I give you a little advice?" Blaine nodded, putting his head on Frederic's shoulder the same way he used to do when he was just a little boy. "Don't let others dictate your life."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a public person. You are in the center of attention of press and fans and that's the price you pay for success. Without them you wouldn't be where you are now. In a way, you need them. I'm aware that things can get messy and privacy is something you have to keep as much to yourself as you can but you can't escape it completely. They watch you. It's impossible to keep your private life fully from your professional one and if Kurt is going to be around, he will sooner or later have to accept it."

"Not yet, though. We haven't been together for that long and I don't wanna ruin it. It's mine and it's precious. I'm not putting it at risk."

"What risk? Losing privacy? How is it dangerous for your relationship?" Blaine shrugged his shoulder, absently staring right in front of him.

"Have you ever had a feeling that something is too good to be true? Like it's too perfect to last?" He asked his father after a couple minutes of utter silence.

"Every day since I met your mother," Frederick answered softly.

"Have you ever been afraid that you might lose her?"

"Yeah."

"Are you still?"

"No. I let that fear go long ago. I came to the conclusion that no matter how unbelievable it is, she is as in love with me as I am in love with her."

"How long did it take? To let it go?"

"It doesn't matter how long it took, son. When the time is right, you'll come to the same conclusion."

"I'm afraid I'm going to screw things up. I haven't been in a relationship since high school. I get insecure about basic stuff and it's not good. Nick and Jeff constantly pump me with their input and how I need to stop overthinking but it's not that easy. I'm doing my best but sometimes it's not enough. I'm the one setting limits, and Kurt goes with it, but one day he might have enough."

"Is that what you are afraid of?"

"Mostly," Blaine sighed, burying his head in his hands.

"It's okay to be scared of losing someone who means a lot to you. You don't take things for granted and that's good, but there is a thin line between your insecurities, which are just your issue, and not trusting the person you're with, which makes it not only yours but his issue as well. You focus on what can possibly harm you and your relationship instead of focusing on what could help you grow within in."

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"What your therapist used to say to you?"

"That I need to get to the core. Problems can't be really solved from the surface."

"Get to the core, Blaine. Find the cause of your fears and then deal with it. "

"Do you think Kurt is the one for me?"

"I don't know that, Blaine. And I honestly don't think I'm the one who should give you the answer to that question. All I know is that since he showed up, you're happier. I think he compliments you but I'm only outside observer. Do you think he is?"

"It's too soon to tell."

"That's not what I was asking. Is he the one or not?"

"I think he might be."

"And it scares the crap out of you, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"You said it was too soon. Who decides that? Who sets the dates? When it is not too soon? After a year or two? Who makes the rules in this?" Frederic wondered. A small smile appeared on Blaine's face. This was how it always went. Frederic would act like he was nothing but a listener, fooling his sons into thinking that they were going to escape his parental wisdom only to get to the point when Frederic would show them exactly why he was the best father they could ask for.

"Since it's my relationship, it should be my decision."

"You are very smart, little one. You got that from your mother." Frederic tousled his hair and stood up. "Your mom wants to watch Rebel without a cause. Will you join us?"

"Sure. In a minute. I'm gonna call Kurt first."

"Tell him we say hi." Frederic patted his shoulder and disappeared in the house. Blaine watched him go before snapping a few more pictures of the ocean. He had a lot to think about but he still wasn't going to ask Kurt to come and accompany him to Cooper's event.

* * *

 

Kurt ended the call with his boyfriend with a forced smile. He missed Blaine. They didn't get to spend as much time together as he used to spend with Adam in the beginning of their relationship. Even though Blaine had told him he wouldn't have much time due to promoting his album, Kurt didn't expect him to be away that much. He was looking forward to the end of the year, because they were supposed to finally have some time together. Now, Blaine wasn't coming back from LA until after New Year. Kurt understood. He really did. Cooper needed help and Blaine couldn't turn his back on his brother. It was reasonable, but Kurt couldn't help a bad feeling from settling in the pit of his stomach. The thing was, Kurt didn't want his new relationship to follow his last one. He dreaded the day when workload would be the reason for them falling apart. Of course, it wasn't something he ever told anyone. Blaine was already insecure as it was, he couldn't bring any more worries on him. Nick and Jeff were too protective of his best friend so he most likely was going to end up on their bad side if he admitted he had some doubts. Rachel was anything but helpful when it'd come to Adam so he didn't even bother with that option. His dad would give him the advice he was seeking but he wasn't sure if he wanted to acknowledge the problem in front of his parent. If Blaine wouldn't be so stubborn, and let him come with him, Kurt would take the first flight to LA to see his boyfriend...but it wasn't what Blaine wanted. He sighed heavily. There was nothing to do, only to wait and see how the whole situation would turn out with time.

He put a happy face on and left his room, joining his brother and Jeff downstairs. They were playing video games and even though Kurt wasn't in the best mood he had to laugh at how they yelled at the screen of Burt's TV.

"Where's Nick?" He asked, but got only mumbled answer from his brother from which he gathered that Nick was in the backyard. Being completely ignored for next few minutes, he decided to go outside and see what Nick was up to.

He found him standing by the tree, tossing small pebbles in his hand. It was obvious he was deep in his thoughts, oblivious to his surroundings. He was startled by Kurt's footsteps so much that he dropped all the pebbles on the ground.

"Sorry," Kurt apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I just zoned out for a moment. Didn't expect anyone to come out here."

"Are you okay?" Kurt's concern for his friend rose with the sudden appearance of Nick and Jeff on his doorstep that morning. They agreed to visit Kurt during the break but they were supposed to come later. There had been some drama with Nick's family, apparently, but Nick didn't share anything with them. He just said that his grandma packed her suitcase and left and he followed her lead.

"Not really."

"Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to get out of here? We can go to the bar. It's not a high standard but for Lima it's pretty good."

"I was thinking about going for a walk. Will you come with me?"

"Okay. Let me grab my coat." Kurt ran inside to get properly dressed for the winter weather outside and grabbed a scarf and gloves for Nick as well. He shouted to Finn and Jeff that they were going out but they weren't listening at all. He was pretty sure they were going to receive a call from them as soon as they realized the two of them were gone.

Taking a walk with Nick was strange. He didn't say anything. He just went. As if Kurt wasn't even there. He led the way even though he'd never walked through Lima before. What was the most confusing for Kurt, though, was that he didn't look where he was going. He had his hands in his pockets and eyes set firmly on the road, barely missing one of the street lamps. Whatever happened that morning, it left it's mark, and Kurt wished Blaine was there to get his friend out of his sulking.

Nick stopped abruptly in front of the coffee shop they were passing by, surprising Kurt. He looked inside through the window before turning around towards Kurt.

"I want tea. Can we go inside?"

"Tea?" Kurt raised his eyebrows, looking at him as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"Yes. Tea. What is wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Except that I've known you for almost a year and not once have I seen you drinking tea."

"I feel like drinking tea, now. So can we go inside?"

"Sure." Kurt opened the door and prompted his friend to enter the room. Nick immediately merged to the counter, demanding chamomile tea from the barista. Kurt chirped in telling him to make two and then they took seats by the small table.

"Blaine is coming home from LA after New Year," Kurt said, trying to make Nick talk at least about something trivial.

"I know," Nick nodded. "I talked to him yesterday. He wasn't sure how to tell you."

"It seems like we'll have to enjoy your party without him."

"We will, don't worry." Nick assured him. He took a deep breath, and it seemed like he was going to say more, but that moment the barista showed up with their teas and it sent Nick into mute mode again.

"Okay. That's it." Kurt shook his head and narrowed his eyes at him. "What the hell is wrong with you today? First you act like nothing is wrong, when it's obvious that something IS wrong, but then you don't speak to anyone! Nick, I don't know what happened but please, talk to Jeff or call Blaine or something. You're clearly upset."

"I was hoping I could talk to you about it." Nick murmured silently which took Kurt aback somewhat. He considered Nick and Jeff his close friends but he'd never thought they would come to him first if something was bothering them.

"Okay. Of course you can talk to me, Nick. Anytime."

"I don't want to be like my dad, Kurt." Nick bowed his head and put his hands into his pockets, a definition of defeat.

"Nick, I've never met your father but from what I heard, you are nothing like him."

"I woke up in the morning because my granny was yelling at him. I don't know what started it. I only heard how she accused him of being a spoiled brat who never had to really work for anything. He always relies on family money. She was right, you know. He had a successful company at his disposal right after he graduated college. He never had to fight for anything. All he had to do was follow the set trend. I mean, he multiplied the value of the company because he is a great businessman but, even if he didn't do it, we would still be safe and sound financially. I was raised that way...that I can have whatever I want. That there is a great amount of money waiting for me when I'm 25.

Did you know that I invested my college fund? My dad almost killed me then. I decided to drop out of college after the first semester and, since I already had money, I used it. I'm not someone who would put that kind of money into a big risk, you know. I talked it through with a few brokers before I invested it. As it turned out, I invested it well. I was playing it safe so I didn't make a big fortune on it. However, it was enough to be able to live on my own without job until I get my trust fund.

I focused on my acting career and it went well. So when I knew I had a job and stable income, I invested some money again. That's how I earn money now but I can't keep living off investing into the stock market. Or at least it's not what I want. No matter what, it's a risky business. Doesn't matter how safe you play it, there is still a chance you're gonna lose. With my trust fund, I'm going to be loaded and I won't have to worry about anything. Without doing a thing. Just like my father..."

"Nick, it's okay to want a financial stability. There is nothing wrong with that."

"Is it financial stability or hiding my incapability? I mean, you're still paying for your student loan. Most of the people in our age group are. I'm lucky enough to have a lot, but is it an advantage? I don't respect my father at all. You're slowly making a name for yourself, Kurt. You were taught that you have to fight for what you want. Your dad gave you valuable life lessons and it made you what you are now. All my father taught me was that money can buy anything. I'm not sure what would have become of me and Jeff had we not befriended Blaine. At least with his parents we have someone who cares about us and teaches us that money isn't everything."

"Okay. I understand where you're coming from, but Nick, you are a great person. You're talented, you've already made a name for yourself on Broadway and you don't have to rely on your parent's money if you don't want to. Yeah, your standard of living would drop a bit, but you could still live comfortably. On the other hand, the trust fund is yours. Legally, you can have the money when you turn 25 and there is no reason not to take it. You don't have to use it. Just use it if something goes wrong..."

"But that's the problem. There are people who don't have a safety net and they live. How can I expect my future wife or my kids to respect me when I don't have to do anything to support them? How am I gonna explain to my kids that they need to go to school and have good grades and get into a good college so they can make it big in this world when I didn't have to do anything to earn money? I just got it...and they'll get it too.

"It's not about whether you have that money or not. It's about what you put into your kids. They don't have to know about the money in the first place. I mean, look at Blaine. He comes from money but he isn't some kind of jerk who parades it in front of others. He works his ass off on Broadway and in the recording studio. It's his money, not his parents money now. Same goes for you. Yes, the investments you made came from your college fund but it was you who assessed the value of it. Don't be too harsh on yourself. I can't imagine that you would just let your kids be spoiled brats. Just because you come from money, it doesn't mean you can't be a decent person. "

"I'm thinking about not accepting my trust fund," Nick blurted out quickly. He watched how Kurt's eyes doubled their size and his mouth opened a few times to say something but nothing came out of him. "I wanna make it in life on my own...without the safety net of the trust fund I was promised since I was a little kid. I've been thinking about it for a while, since we had the conversation in the coffee shop before Thanksgiving actually. Jeff and I talked about it, and we went through the pros and cons, and Jeff was ready to just give it up immediately. I was indecisive...but hearing my grandma yelling at my father, accusing him of being exactly what I never want to be, opened my eyes. I wanna do it on my own. I already had a killer start with my college fund. I don't need more. That's a lot more than most of people have to start with."

"Nick, you still have years to think about it. Giving up on that kind of money is a very big decision. You shouldn't make it hastily."

"We've been thinking about it for a while..."

"Nick," Kurt interrupted him firmly. "We had a conversation about it a month ago. A month. Just because I said some things...God, just forget about what I said that day. I wasn't judging you, okay? It's a big advantage to have money. You can do a lot with it beside supporting your family."

"You were the one to tell me that I don't have to rely on my parents' money." Nick reminded him.

"I know. But I didn't mean...shit Nick, you and Jeff were completely miserable because you had to go home for the holidays. If the only reason you go home is to ensure they give you the trust fund money then don't do it. That's what I was trying to say. I didn't say to give it up. It's okay to be well-off. You don't have to use it unless there's an emergency, but it's nice to know that if something happens, there is a way to take care of things."

"I thought you would be more helpful with this," Nick sighed and Kurt couldn't tell if he was more disappointed or frustrated.

"What did you expect me to do? Get excited and jump five feet off the ground because you're throwing away a bright future?"

"Money doesn't buy happiness. I know that better than anyone."

"No, it doesn't. You're right. But you can still make it buy happiness for someone else."

"How?"

"I don't know. You're a smart guy. You'll come up with something. You guys are invested in so many charity projects; make a charity of your own or something. Help less fortunate kids study, build low cost houses for the poor or donate it to buy water and food for people in Africa...I really don't know but there is so much. Look, I didn't have a college fund. My dad and Carol had some money saved for us but it wasn't enough for me and Finn to study without a student loan. I would give everything to spare my kids something like that. I'm gonna work and save money and do everything I can so I can give my kid a killer start."

"Exactly! YOU will do everything in your power to make that happen. I want the same."

"Nick, if I found out that I had a wealthy relative or something and that they left me a lot of money, I would take it, without a doubt, and I would use it as a backup for my future family. I would start at least two college funds for kids I don't even have yet. Just because I don't have the opportunity for such money, it doesn't mean I wouldn't take it without batting an eye if it came to me."

"So you think I'm being stupid."

"No...not stupid. I just think that you are doing this for the wrong reasons. Money isn't the real problem here."

Nick shifted on his chair, tapping his feet as he crossed his arms on his chest. "And what is the real problem?"

"Your relationship with your parents," Kurt announced, ignoring Nick's defensive posture. "It's not going to get any better by refusing to take their money. I honestly think you should work on that."

"Kurt, we tried."

"Then try harder. The whole 'you need to come home once a year' deal means that your parents care about you at least on some level. When was the last time you invited them to New York? Have they ever seen a play you've been in? Have you ever told them that you're gonna be on TV?"

Nick shifted his eyes away from Kurt. He started to played with the tea bag mindlessly, doing his best to get out of the conversation with the silent treatment.

"We don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable," Kurt said after a while.

"I sent them tickets for the first show I've ever been in. They didn't come." Nick put the tea bag back on the plate and took a sugar wrapper instead. "They didn't even call me. Nothing. They almost never call me. My dad sometimes writes me an email. Usually being his stern self, asking if I'm still alive and if I need money. Always money, Kurt. I don't want to end up like him. I don't want to be a father who only provides money."

"You don't have to be. It's not about how much money you have but about what values you will instill in your kids. And frankly, it's not utterly your dad's fault that he ended up like this. Your grandma was the one who raised your father that way. I know you love her but she made mistakes and now you are paying for them. Take this as a prime example of how it should not be done. Don't repeat their mistakes and make your own."

"I don't want to make mistakes."

"None of us do but we will make them either way. "

"What do you propose that I do then?"

"As for the money, take your time. When you're 25 and still don't want it, okay. But don't do anything right now that you might regret later on. As for your parents...why don't you and Jeff call them and asked them to your show? Your parents are friends, they might be more willing to come to the show together because there is less possibility for drama. If they say no, try it again later. You did it once and they didn't come. Maybe they would like to come now but they're afraid to ask."

"You put too much faith in them."

"Well, someone has to do it for you. I don't believe that everything will be solved with one visit. Your relationship will probably stay a bit strained forever but you, at least, should try to make it more decent. Even though your dad contacts you only to find out whether you need money, it still means that he cares about you."

"If I ever needed help with the foundation of a charity, would you help me?"

"Sure," Kurt grinned at him. "So I guess you're not fully opposed the idea of keeping your trust fund, right?"

"I'm gonna think about it and I'm gonna discuss it with Jeff. I'll probably ask papa Anderson for his insight, too."

"That's great, Nick. Just don't make quick decisions."

"I won't." Nick promised sincerely, finally smiling at him for once. "Thanks, Kurt."

"You're welcome. I love slapping some sense into people so don't be a stranger and come to me again."

* * *

 

Blaine was up early the next morning. Everybody was sleeping so he went outside to the beach. It was odd how he wasn't afraid of anything in LA, while no one would find him walking around NYC. He knew Kurt would like this. The walk by the ocean, an almost empty beach and sun that was half hidden behind the clouds, giving them a beautiful shade of orange and yellow at the same time. He reached into his pocket for his phone and took a few pictures of the sky. He sent it to Kurt and made a promise to himself to visit Cooper with Kurt as soon as their work schedule would allow it.

He earned a glare from the couple passing him on a peaceful beach as his phone started ringing loudly. He shifted it out of his pocket again, answering the device as quickly as possible so he wouldn't disturb the other co-walkers more than necessary.

"Hi, honey."

"Good morning, sweetie. What are you doing up so early?" Kurt asked in a sleepy voice.

"I'm on the beach."

"Yeah, I figured that out from the photo. Is everything alright? You should be in your bed at this hour."

"It's almost seven, Kurt," Blaine teased him, a smile evident in his voice.

"See? Seven! It's an ungodly hour. You're on a break. You need to relax."

"Did I wake you up with my messages?"

"No. My dad did. He's already in the kitchen. He tries to be quiet but I'm pretty sure I heard a glass being broken already."

"Are you going to the garage to help him today?"

"Yes. I'm taking Nick and Jeff with me. It'll be fun."

"You aren't gonna make them actually do something, right?" Blaine asked warily.

"Oh, I plan to! They're going to help, dressed in coveralls and all that."

"You have no idea what they are capable of...or better yet, what they AREN'T capable of. Fixing cars is not amongst their skills."

"They'll be fine. I won't let them do any damage. Don't worry." Kurt replied and Blaine could hear in the speaker how he was moving under his sheets. Blaine would give everything he had at that moment to be there with him in his bed.

"Okay. Tell me about your evening. What did you do after our phone call?"

"Well, I tried to pay attention to Jeff and Finn and their video game marathon but it got boring. Nick and I went for a walk and ended up having chamomile tea."

"Oh my god! Chamomile tea? What happened?"

"What do you mean what happened? He wanted to have a tea so we had a tea."

"No. I mean, how upset was he? And what got him upset? Is he okay?"

"He is...You know he drinks tea when he's upset? Why didn't you tell me? I could have used this information yesterday. I had no idea what was going on! Is there some weird ritual that Jeff has? Tell me right now so I won't be caught out off guard if something happens to him!"

"Jeff eats gummy bears."

"What?"

"Gummy bears. When he is upset or stressed, he needs gummy bears."

"Your friends are weird. Chamomile tea and gummy bears…" Kurt muttered and Blaine knew he was rolling his eyes.

"Do I need to remind you that you can eat tons of cheesecake when something is wrong?"

"Fair enough. We are all weird."

"So what was bothering him? Did he tell you?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Should I call him? Is it serious? Maybe I should cancel on Cooper and come to New York as I planned."

"Stop it, Blaine. Nick is fine. There is nothing you can do about it so stay where you are and help your brother. I would tell you what it was but I don't want to break Nick's trust. I'm sure he'll tell you...I think the fight his grandma had with his father yesterday evoked something in him and he was being stupid."

"Thank you."

"I'm not sure what for but you are very welcome, sweetheart."

"For being there for him."

"Don't be silly, Blaine. He's my friend. Of course I'll be there for him whenever he needs me. Same goes for Jeff. I love those goofballs."

"And that's why you're perfect for me. I always wanted someone who would love and accept not just me and my faults but my family as well. I miss you. I really wanted to have a midnight kiss and all that..."

"I miss you, too. You know I would come to LA if you wanted me to, right?"

"We've talked about it, Kurt."

"I just want to make sure you know I haven't changed my mind about it."

"I don't think it's wise to have this conversation over the phone. I don't want any misunderstandings which are bound to happen. Please, let it be and we'll discuss it more when I come home," Blaine demanded, worrying that their talk could end badly if they kept this topic up.

"So now we have phone call conversational topics? I'm not familiar with them. Maybe you should send me a list by email," Kurt huffed, not impressed at all.

"Kurt, please, don't be like this. It's not helping at all."

"I'm sorry. I'm just pissed that instead of a week without you it's ten days now. I miss you so much."

"After I come back, I'll be in New York for two whole weeks. And then I have just a few days out of the city. I won't be traveling for longer than four days. Mostly for just a day or two. Bear with me, please."

"I know. I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again. I love you."

"I love you, too. Now tell me, what are you going to do today besides torturing Nick and Jeff in the garage," Blaine changed the subject for safer territorium.

"There's a new bowling alley open in Lima. We're going to try it out this evening. You?"

"I am meeting an old friend for lunch. As I know him, it'll probably be prolonged lunch until the late night. But I'm looking forward to it. I haven't seen him in a while. He was busy when I was in LA last, so I'm happy he could find some time for me."

"Sounds great, sweetie. Enjoy your time with him and call me when you come back, okay? If it's not too late, we can have a proper goodnight."

"Okay. Can't wait for it."

"I gotta go to check on dad. I'm afraid he set the kitchen on fire. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, talk to you later. Love you."

"I love you, too."


	29. Chapter 29

Waking up on New Year's day was anything but pleasant. The party was wild and Nick already regretted that he let it get out of control. His head hurt and he felt nauseous. It was past noon and everything was too bright even though the curtains on his windows were pulled down. He groaned and rolled out of bed, heading straight to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee and find something greasy to eat. That should help, right?

He put coffee beans into the coffee maker. The sound of grinding filled the room and Nick groaned again, cursing himself for not thinking about making an instant coffee instead.

"What the hell?!" Kurt's head appeared from behind the sofa cushions in the adjoined living room. Nick, startled, dropped the mug he was holding on the tile floor. The glass broke with a deafening noise.

"Oh, my god! Would you just stop it?" Kurt whined. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"I'm sorry, man. I forgot you were crashing with us," Nick apologized, kneeling down and picking up broken glass from the floor. "Wanna coffee?" He asked with a hope that Kurt would take coffee as a redemption and wouldn't be bitchy about Nick waking him up unceremoniously.

"What the fuck, guys?!" Jeff merged into the kitchen, his appearance similar to the men already in the room. "I almost had a heart attack! Are you crazy?"

"Sorry," Nick murmured quietly.

"Just make me some coffee before I have to go," Kurt ordered and Nick went back to his first intention from a few minutes ago.

"Where do you wanna go? At least have breakfast with us."

"It's almost one in the afternoon. It's a bit late for breakfast, don't you think?"

"Perfect time for New Year's breakfast," Jeff replied and shoved his head into the fridge.

"I'm sorry but I don't think I'm in any condition to digest anything," Kurt admitted. "I'm gonna pass breakfast today."

"Why are you in a hurry?" Nick asked Kurt as he handed him a cup of coffee.

"I have to go home, check on Rachel and then go grocery shopping. "

"Check on Rachel and go grocery shopping?" Jeff raised his eyebrows like it was the most stupid thing he could do on New Year's day.

"She left the party with this guy, you know...James or something. I need to make sure she's okay. And Blaine is coming home tomorrow night so I need to get some supplies because my fridge is empty. I want to cook dinner for him. And bake a cake. And clean up. How am I gonna do all of that? I feel like I'll be sporting this hangover for a week! God, why did I let you get me so drunk?"

"Hey!" Nick and Jeff protested.

"Okay," Kurt raised his hands. "Okay. I know I was whining, you needed to do something."

"You were kind of a buzzkill when you started singing odes about your boyfriend. I don't really care how hot he is. Or how his eyes have the prettiest color. Or how his eyelashes are the longest you've seen..."

"Or how his kisses are to die for," Nick stepped in. "You were impossible after few drinks so we had no choice but put some more in you and shut you up."

"I miss him, okay?

"Yeah, we figured that out."

"You guys are mean to me. I'm gonna finish my coffee in silence and go."

They sat behind the kitchen counter, sipping on their coffee quietly. Jeff was chewing on cookies straight from the package after he decided he was too lazy to make some breakfast right away, sending glances at Kurt who pretended not to notice it.

"About that dinner..." Jeff started, grinning. "Can we crash it?"

Kurt put his mug on the counter and glared daggers at him. "Absolutely not."

"But Kurt, we miss Blaine too. It's very selfish of you to hog him all to yourself."

Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up. "Don't you dare to come tomorrow. You have to be at the theater in the evening anyway."

"Yeah, but we're always hungry after the show..."

"Don't Jeffrey," Kurt warned him firmly. "No matter how hungry you will be, pizza delivery will have to be enough. We're doing H&C house party for the kids in the afternoon together and then you'll get lost. I'm gonna enjoy dinner with my beautiful boyfriend and you can come the day after tomorrow and empty the contents of the fridge but I don't wanna see you before noon that day. Are we clear?"

"And he seemed so nice when we met him," Jeff sighed, winking at Nick.

"Seriously, guys," Kurt pleaded. "I know you haven't seen him for as long as I haven't seen him, but I really need to have the evening just for ourselves."

"Of course," Jeff nodded. "We really put too many drinks in you yesterday if you think that we would come and ruin your dinner. I was just teasing you. Don't worry."

"I'm too tired to tell the difference between you being a moron and you being a different kind of moron, Jeff."

Jeff just shot him a wide smile. "I'm a sweetheart. You know that. Even your step mom told me that. As your father says, Carol is always right."

"Good luck with dealing with him today," Kurt told Nick empathetically.

"I won't be dealing with him. I'm going back to sleep. I shouldn't have gotten out of bed in the first place."

"You woke us up only to go back to sleep? You suck!" Jeff threw a cookie at him, missing him by about two feet.

"No wonder Dalton didn't want you on their baseball team. You can't even throw a cookie."

"Shut up, Nick."

"I'll leave you two now before I get into something I don't want to be involved in. Thanks for letting me stay on your couch. Thanks for coffee and I'd be very grateful if I could use your shower."

"There are clean towels in the cabinet in the bathroom. I'm afraid we don't have a spare toothbrush, though, so you can shower but your teeth will have to wait till you're home."

"Shower is fine. I'll do the rest at home." Kurt left for the bathroom and Nick stood up, his coffee mug still almost full.

"I'm going to bed. I can't keep my eyes open any longer."

"What am I supposed to do? You're no fun, Duval. You do this every year. Who leaves their best friend alone on New Year's day?"

"Go ice skating at Rockefeller center. You love it," Nick said, slowly dragging his form back into his room.

"You have three hours. In three hours I'm gonna put the music on, very loudly, and it won't stop until you are fully awake and ready to socialize with me!" Jeff shouted after him, but he wasn't sure Nick heard him. He took a bite of another cookie and looked around. There wasn't really much to do unless he wanted to spend the day in front of the TV or browsing the net. Kurt's grocery shopping didn't sound that crazy after all. Maybe he would let him hang around.

* * *

Cooper watched his brother the whole day. He could tell something was wrong. Blaine tried to act like nothing was out of order, but the way he barely talked and looked like a deer caught in the headlights when someone approached him was enough for Cooper to know something was bothering his younger brother. He wondered if anything had happened at the benefit the previous day. As a host, he didn't get to spend much time with his family, but for all he knew, Blaine was with his parents for most of the evening. He earned a few strange looks from Blaine throughout the day when his brother caught him staring, but none of them commented on it.

Besides Blaine's strange behavior, nothing happened on New Year's day. They were lazily hanging out at Cooper's house, enjoying the last day together since Blaine and their parents were leaving the very next day.

As the day turned to the evening, Victoria and Frederic decided to take a walk by the ocean, which left the two young Andersons alone.

"Coop?" Blaine asked as soon as the door closed behind his parents.

"Yes?"

"I need a favor." Cooper just raised his eyebrows and nodded at Blaine to continue.

"I booked a flight for tomorrow morning. Could you give me a lift?"

"I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I just heard you booked a flight."

"I did."

"You BOOKED a flight? YOU?"

"Forget it. I'll just call the cab." Blaine turned around, ready to walk away.

"No!" Cooper grabbed him by the hand, forcing him to sit down next to him.

"You want me to take you to the airport?"

"Yes."

"What about mom and dad? You were supposed to go by your plane in the afternoon."

"I know. They'll still go. The flight is scheduled."

"Blaine, could you give me more? I'm not in the mood to dig everything out of you so it would be nice if you just told me what is going on."

"I have a ticket. For tomorrow...the first morning flight to NYC. First class but still a regular flight. Mom and dad are taking my plane in the afternoon as we agreed before."

"But why?"

"I wanna try it. I don't know if I will be able to go through with it but I want to at least try. I need you to stay in the parking lot in case I change my mind, though."

"So I'm taking you to the airport, then I'm waiting to see whether you actually board the plane or not."

"Well, that's my plan..."

"You sure about this, Blaine?" Cooper gave him a concerned look and Blaine shifted a bit under his gaze.

"Not really. That's why I haven't told anyone except you. Maybe I won't get out of the car and we will just go back to your house. I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow."

"How do you feel today?"

"Like fainting. My stomach is doing flips every time I think of it...I just want to get on that damn plane, Coop and fly to New York."

"Why are you doing this? I don't understand. Maybe you shouldn't go alone. Try this with me on the plane or with the guys. It would be a lot easier if someone was with you, Blaine."

"No," Blaine shook his head. "I have to do it on my own. Please, don't say a word to anyone and let me do it on my own."

"Okay. When is your flight?"

"5:30"

"A.M.? Are you kidding me? Couldn't you chose more convenient time?"

"No. There's more likely to be less people early in the morning than during the day."

"You're lucky I love you, little brother, otherwise I wouldn't even consider this."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"Now this is where you tell me you love me back, squirt."

"I love you back, Coop," Blaine rolled his eyes while confessing his feelings towards his older brother and got hit by a cushion. He laughed all the way to his room as Cooper was lamenting about his ingratitude and lack of respect for his elders.

Blaine couldn't sleep that night, not that it surprised him. He got up several times and headed to Cooper's room to cancel their morning program, always returning when he got halfway there. He was not going to fail, he decided. Not before he at least tried to enter the departure lounge. He already felt like a big disappointment for just thinking about giving up hours before the flight was due.

Being impulsive didn't suit Blaine Anderson well. Or that's what Blaine Anderson thought. Booking a flight ticket and not telling anyone about it for days was something he would have never expected himself to do. Yet, here he was, nervous and nauseous with the mere thought of what the next morning could possibly bring. There were thousands of things that could go wrong. With his anxieties and tendency toward panic attacks, there was a big possibility of the catastrophe occurring.

Then, there was Kurt and his beautiful, smiling face when he would see Blaine at the door, hours before he was supposed to arrive. And for that smile, Blaine was ready to attempt anything.

Blaine was tired when he got in his brother's car. He closed his eyes only for a second but in the end slept all the way to the airport. When they parked the car near the entrance of LAX, Blaine stayed glued to his spot, looking outside the window and weighing his options. There weren't many people, but still enough to make him scared for his life. His wildly beating heart wasn't helping a bit and by the way Cooper was watching him, he must look exactly how he felt.

"We can go back home, Blaine. I mean, it's enough you even considered coming here. One step at a time, okay?"

"I have to go inside. There is no point of getting this close only to give up."

"I'm not letting you go inside when you have difficulty just breathing."

"I'm fine. Just stay here, okay? I'll call you right before boarding."

"Blaine," Cooper sighed. "Lets go home."

"Thanks for the ride. I love you. I hope not to see you soon."

"If anything goes wrong, I want you to call me and I'll come inside for you, do you hear me?"

"I will. I promise. Now, let me go before I change my mind."

Cooper got out his car and opened the trunk, giving Blaine his suitcase. He didn't like this at all. Blaine's hand was shaking as he was taking the handle of his suitcase. Cooper wanted to drag him back to the car and drive back home but he was in no position to order his younger brother to comply. They were both adults now. Besides, even though Blaine looked very nervous and on the verge of a panic attack, there was a determination in his eyes. And Cooper hadn't seen that kind of determination in Blaine's eyes for a long time. He still clearly remembered how Blaine used to be as a child - never ready to give up - always doing anything possible to succeed. Be it a difficult math homework, getting a solo or persuading his friend to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance, Blaine always worked his ass off to accomplish things he had set his goals on. Nowadays, determination came only for work related stuff. Blaine hardly admitted his personal issues, let alone did something about them.

After the mall panic attack, their parents had made him see a therapist. Blaine had tried it but given up six sessions in. He'd never approached the topic after, no matter how much his family and friends were trying to get him talk about it and return to the therapy until he is fully recovered.

What Cooper was afraid of was that determination, on its own, might not be enough. He truly thought his brother should continue to see a therapist. He had faith in him but didn't believe Blaine could conquer this on his own.

At the end, he just said: "Have a nice flight, Squirt." Copper patted him on the shoulder and Blaine gave him a weak smile.

"Thanks. I gotta go."

Cooper returned to his car. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel for the first ten minutes until the sound bothered him too much to continue. He then went through radio stations for what seemed like a thousand times, only to decide that he wasn't in the mood for music after all. He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. He was tired. He could use a little nap, while waiting for Blaine's call. He was just entering dreamland when his phone started ringing. He swiftly shifted it out of his pocket.

"Blaine?"

"Coop, I don't think I can do this..."

* * *

Kurt looked around his kitchen and regretted that he'd ever let Nick and Jeff talk him into helping him with cookies and cupcakes for the kids.

The word 'mess' didn't even start to cover the state in which his kitchen was right now. He literally had to stop food fights Nick and Jeff started between baking and decorating the cupcakes. Still, the damage was done and his kitchen looked like a battlefield.

"Okay, finish up and help me clean this mess," Kurt told them when he decided it was time to cut their fun short.

"I wanted to add more icing on this one, " Nick pouted as Kurt took a cupcake from his hand and put it in the box.

"There's more icing than there is cake already, Nick! I think that's enough. Come on, Jeff. Put it down, we don't have time for this."

"You ruined the fun, Kurt," Nick complained. "This is the first time we've done this. Let us enjoy it."

"I'm sorry your childhood sucked, guys but I need to clean this mess up before we leave. I won't have time when I come back from H&C House. Blaine is supposed to be here at eight. I have to cook dinner for him."

"Okay."

"And you should probably go home to change. This was a crime to your clothes."

"Okay."

"God, don't give me this attitude, Jeff. I'll make us some sandwiches for lunch but I need a spotless kitchen to do that. So will you help me?"

"Sure. When can we do it again, though? We should have party with kids more often."

"We can do it again anytime you want. In your kitchen, though."

"No problem. Or maybe we could do it at Blaine's. He has a cleaning service." Kurt shook his head, laughing. He was pretty sure Nick would convince Blaine to hold a baking contest in the near future just so he could cover cupcakes in unhealthy amounts of icing.

With the three of them at the task, the cleaning didn't take as much time as Kurt assumed at first. They had lunch as Kurt promised and then he set them off. He had two hours before he would have to go to H&C House. Perfect time for a brief relax. He just sat down on the sofa with a magazine in his hand when there was a knock on his door.

"Rachel!" He shouted. "I think your date is here!" Rachel strolled out her room, slightly panicked.

"We were supposed to meet at the restaurant! He shouldn't be here! I'm not ready yet! Jesus, I knew a lunch date was a stupid idea! Who in their right mind goes on a date at noon?"

"Well, someone is at the door. I don't expect anyone so it surely will be yours."

"How do you know that?" Rachel asked as she walked to the hallway.

"Because I threatened Nick and Jeff with death if I see them sooner than three sharp at H&C House." Kurt yelled after her. Then, he opened the magazine and put his feet on the coffee table.

"It's your date, Kurt. Not mine!" Rachel shouted back before opening the door. Kurt didn't bother to stand up. If Nick or Jeff wanted something, they would have to come to him. He heard murmured voices from the hallway and then Rachel walked past him back to her room.

"Guys, did you forget something?" Kurt asked, flipping the pages.

"Guys? You have guys that could forget something in here?" Kurt raised his eyes from the magazine, blinking slowly at his stupidly smiling boyfriend before he jumped off the couch, rushing to him.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt as soon as he threw himself on him. Kurt nuzzled his nose into Blaine's neck, breathing him in and loving how Blaine put a small kiss somewhere between Kurt's ear and cheek, running his hands up and down his back.

"Don't you want a kiss, honey?" Blaine asked playfully when Kurt didn't move for a solid minute. "I heard my kisses are to die for."

Kurt pulled away in an instant and smacked his shoulder. "Who told you that?"

"Jeff," Blaine laughed and framed Kurt's face in his hands, bringing him in for a chaste kiss.

"What are you doing here? I was expecting you this evening. Where are your parents?"

"They are still in LA. Their travel plans didn't change."

"How did you get here then? You were all supposed to take your plane."

"I took a regular flight," Blaine stated with a big grin. "First class, bought the whole row of seats but I'm here so who cares."

"You what?!"

"I didn't want to wait until evening..." Blaine explained. "I booked the tickets as soon as I knew I wouldn't be coming back for Nick and Jeff's party."

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have picked you up at the airport!"

"I..." Blaine bit his lips nervously, staring at the wall behind Kurt's head. "I didn't know if I would be able to go through it. I didn't want to promise to come and then have to call you to say that I couldn't get on the plane..."

"Oh, sweetie," Kurt hugged him tight once more, "I wouldn't be mad at you if you didn't do it."

"But you would be disappointed...I booked an early morning flight to get to you as soon as possible. I had doubts, though...that the need to see you wouldn't be enough to get past my fear."

"You are unbelievable, Blaine Anderson," Kurt whispered into his ear. "And I love you so much."

"I love you, too. I missed you like crazy, Kurt." Kurt turned his head slightly and captured Blaine's lips with his own. The kiss started slow but neither of them really wanted to keep any restraint so it progressed into deep and heated in no time. Kurt eagerly explored Blaine's mouth with his tongue, giving up the dominance every time they needed to come up for air, but retrieving into passionate kisses the minute their lungs got at least a bit of oxygen.

"Take it to your room, Kurt," Rachel said behind him, rudely interrupting them. "I gotta go, boys. Say hi to the kids and tell them I'm going to visit next week, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded absently, his gaze fixed at Blaine.

"I'll talk to you later. Now let me get to my coat," Rachel squeezed herself between them, effectively getting through the entrance to the hallway they were blocking.

"Come on, sweetie," Kurt tugged at Blaine's hand, leading him into the kitchen. "Aren't you hungry? I'll make you lunch."

"I'm not hungry, Kurt. I ate on the plane. Let's lay down for a bit, okay? I'm tired as hell."

"Okay. We have some time before I have to go to H&C House."

"I'll go with you."

"Really?" Kurt beamed at him.

"Yeah."

* * *

Kurt was lying on the sofa, his legs tangled with Blaine's who had his back against the cushion and his head on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt's fingers were playing with Blaine's curls, and Blaine sighed contently every time Kurt dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

"I think I'm gonna fall asleep here," Kurt broke the silence.

"Tired?" Blaine asked, raising his head a bit to rest his chin on Kurt's chest.

"Tired, lazy, happy..."

"So are you having a good day?"

"I'm having a great day."

"What is the difference between good and great day?"

"You coming home earlier and also Kurt and Blaine gingerbread men you made with your mom...I can't believe you brought them with you."

"Those are for keeps. We are not eating them," Blaine announced seriously.

"Of course we aren't. We can use them as a decorations next year." Blaine bit his lip and beamed at him, his whole face glowing in the light from the Christmas tree that Rachel refused to take down yet. Kurt outstretched his hand to grab his phone, opening his camera application to capture his boyfriend's beauty.

"Smile," he ordered and Blaine chuckled but did as he was told.

"Perfect. This one is for my lockscreen."

"Next year, huh?" Blaine asked timidly.

"What about next year, sweetie?" Kurt put his phone down and looked at his boyfriend who just shrugged his shoulders, avoiding the eye contact.

"You said we can use gingerbread Kurt and Blaine as decorations next year," Blaine answered, his cheek turning red. He felt stupid now. It was just one sentence Kurt said to him, probably not even giving it a second thought and here Blaine was, weighing it as a wedding proposal. Next year. Twelve months from now. Would they still be together? As in love as they were in this moment or maybe more?

"You don't want to?"

"I would love that."

"We used to do it with my mom. Saving the prettiest gingerbread men for the next year. I haven't done it since she died."

"What else did you used to do with her at Christmas?"

"We baked a lot. She always made punch and eggnog for me. Non alcoholic, of course, but she made both so I had a choice in my drink. We decorated our windows with white markers. We painted Santa Claus and snowmen, Christmas trees and stars...And she drew Rudolph. Everything was white but his nose. It was bright red and she let me color it. It was funny... She loved to sing Christmas songs with me. We often danced in our kitchen or living room...My dad loved watching us having fun. And we never had a turkey for Christmas dinner. She cooked a roast beef."

"A roast beef?"

"Yes. She used to say that turkey is for Thanksgiving. We had roast beef for Christmas dinner every year until my dad married Carol."

"What happened then?"

"Carol used to make a turkey. The first year we spent as a new family, it wasn't up for discussion. When I protested, my dad told me to let it go. I was so mad. It seemed like he wanted to forget all the traditions we had. Carol didn't know about anything. She tried to consult us about everything but my dad did all the talking for the two of us and told her that whatever she wanted was fine with us. It was a very sad Christmas for me. Nothing was as it should have been. I was pissed and moody all the time. I snapped at my dad, at Finn and even at Carol without a reason. God, I was horrible that year. I didn't eat much at Christmas dinner and excused myself right after. I spent the evening in my room. My dad came and gave me a pep talk but it didn't really help. Just made me more grumpy...Carol brought me a warm milk before she went to bed and she was very sad. She told me she was sorry for whatever she or Finn did to make me angry. She wanted to know what she could do to make it up to me."

"What did you say to her?"

"I was awful. I told her that she can't do anything because Christmas was already ruined for me. God, I was such a diva back then...She started crying and it slapped some sense in me. The poor woman had no idea what it was all about and I knew it wasn't fair to take my anger on her. I told her that nothing about the Christmas was like we used to do it. She asked how we used to do it and I told her everything. In the end we came up with a plan how to mix our traditions together. Since then, we have a turkey one year and roast beef the next one."

Blaine tightened his hold on Kurt's waist, snuggling closer to him. Kurt didn't talk much about his past, and if he did, he usually reminisced funny stories that had happened in the glee club or with their cheerleading coach. It was rare that he opened up and let Blaine see more of what he had gone through. What amazed Blaine the most was that Kurt never refused to answer his questions. He might not talk about his past by himself but as soon as Blaine had something to ask about it, he always gave an answer. Blaine appreciated it and even though he wanted to know a lot more than he did now, he didn't touch the topic too often. The side effect of talking about Kurt's mom or unpleasant events from his life back in Ohio was Kurt being tense and gloomy... and Blaine would rather see his boyfriend content and happy.

"We always have a turkey," Blaine spoke softly after Kurt silenced himself. "I don't think it's a tradition. It's the only thing my mom knows how to cook."

"Do you have any Christmas traditions?"

"Not really. Cooper likes to do something stupid every year just so we don't forget about him but besides that, nothing uncommon."

"Cooper has a habit of doing stupid things regularly. What's the difference between him being a Cooper in general and him being a Cooper at Christmas?"

"Well," Blaine started, pensively. "I guess, there isn't much of a difference but his Christmas shenanigans just stand out amongst other things he's ever done. Probably because we tend to remember them since it's Christmas and not any ordinary day. Have I ever told you how he lost me in Central Park when I was nine?"

"No," Kurt shook his head with a big smile, sensing a great story coming.

"As a kid I loved the central park zoo. When our parents had enough of us bickering, they sent us there. It was a big punishment for Cooper, especially as he got older. That year he decided he wasn't going to join me in the zoo. He bought me a ticket and told me to meet him at the gate in three hours. "

"He left you alone?"

"Yeah. But I didn't care. I loved that I was finally a big boy who could be in the Zoo on his own."

"Did you get lost?"

"No. Please, honey, what do you think of me? I enjoyed my three hours between animals and then went straight to the gate. I waited for Cooper for half an hour when I realized he was not going to show up."

"Oh my god! He left you there?!"

"Yes. Fortunately, I knew how to get to the penthouse from there so I just walked home."

"Where the hell was your brother?"

"On a date with a girl he met five minutes after we parted our ways at the Zoo."

"That's so Cooper," Kurt laughed and Blaine joined him.

"He was grounded for two months after that. Another time, when we were sixteen, he made Jeff lighten his eyebrows."

"He did what?!"

"Yeah, Cooper helped Jeff peroxide his eyebrows so they'd match the shade of his blonde hair. It was apparently the biggest hit in LA at the time."

"I guess it didn't go well..."

"No. Jeff spent his Christmas with orange eyebrows until my mom decided that he suffered enough and she colored them back to normal. Two years ago he convinced Nick to go on a double date with him and he accidentally set Nick up with a girl Jeff used to fool around with."

"That must have been awkward."

"And let's not forget the Christmas when he was seventeen and told our parents that his girlfriend was pregnant."

"Oh my god!"

"Wait, that's not the punchline. He wasn't dating anyone at the time. He just somehow reversed his car into dad's old and beloved Chevrolet. He needed something worse than destroying dad's vintage car so they would see the damage of the car as less of a big deal."

Kurt laughed again, loud and long. It was like music to Blaine's ear. He often thought of asking Kurt to record his laugh just so he could listen to it when they weren't together and he missed him. He never asked him though. He felt a bit creepy just thinking about it. Saying it out loud would be mortifying. He was not gonna make a fool of himself in front of his boyfriend. Still, making Kurt laugh was on his daily to-do list.

"I miss this the most when we are apart," Blaine admitted. "Just holding you, being close to you."

Kurt dropped a kiss on the top of Blaine's hair. He missed this, too. They could talk on the phone or Skype, even fool around if they wanted to but the simple touch couldn't be replaced that easily as conversation or sex. Science and technology weren't that far yet. Amongst all the things Kurt missed when Blaine was away, Blaine's actual presence stood out...knowing that if he needed to, he could just go and be with his boyfriend. Kurt didn't mind Blaine being busy in New York with whatever promotional stuff he had to do because he was still in the city and there was the option of seeing him as he pleased.

"You are going to be in the city this month, right?"

"I have to go to LA twice, but just for couple days. I told my team to cut my activities to a minimum. I'm gonna promote the tour next month and I want to have some time for myself until I can."

"Does the time for yourself involve time with me as well?"

"I don't know, Kurt. I mean, I can spare you some time but don't count on it," Blaine said seriously, earning a shove from his boyfriend.

"Jerk!" Blaine chuckled at Kurt's offended expression, keeping his arms strongly around him as Kurt tried to slip from his hold.

"Come on, honey. What kind of answer do you expect for a stupid question? Of course I wanna spend my time with you."

"How did you convince them to let you breathe?" Blaine stayed silent for a minute. He considered whether telling Kurt the truth would be the best thing to do. He could keep things from Kurt, omissions that seemingly weren't important and would only lead to misunderstandings or fights, so not mentioning them wasn't a big deal. Replying untruly to a direct questions was something else. It was intentional lying and Blaine wasn't a liar.

"They want me to sign another contract with the recording company and I said no."

"What?! Why?"

"I told you before. This life is overwhelming. I don't want to do this anymore. They think that giving me some space will change my mind. But it won't."

"But you love performing. You love doing what you do!"

"I need to get back my privacy."

"No one is violating your privacy, Blaine!"

"Can we not?"

"Can we not what?!"

"Talk about it," Blaine answered quietly. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Great. Another prohibited topic," Kurt huffed, annoyed. "Seriously, you should just give me the list so I'll know what I'm allowed to discuss with you."

"We can get to it later, honey. Just not now, okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise," Blaine nodded and pecked Kurt's lips several times until he felt Kurt smiling into his small kisses. He bought some time for now, but there was only a little chance that Kurt would let it go completely.


End file.
